The Crematorium’s Scum Gong Gets to Clock Off After Being Replaced 59

Chapter 59: Roommate 19

“…If you don’t like it, do it yourself! I’m going to sleep!”

“Mm… it’s pretty good, just like this. Mmm… Gu Xiu, hey, are you ignoring me? Not going to wash your hands?”

Wash my ass! Gu Xiu was so annoyed. The ventilation in the dormitory was already bad, and the smell of the two of them was all over his bed. He felt like he was soaking in an ocean of some fishy liquid.

He unceremoniously pulled over Chen Beichuan’s pants, carefully wiped his hands on the inside, then turned to face the wall and closed his eyes to sleep.

Chen Beichuan, behind him, was still provoking him. “Then I’ll wipe it on your quilt?”

Gu Xiu threatened with his back, “I’ll kick you off.”

A light laugh.

After waiting for a while, he didn’t see Gu Xiu kick him. Chen Beichuan asked again, “Are you going to kick me?”

“…”

His mouth is even harder than that place. So cute.

“Asleep?” Chen Beichuan chattered.

Gu Xiu didn’t react.

Chen Beichuan finally quieted down. He gently lifted the quilt, got out of bed to wash his hands, and changed into a clean pair of pants. He then climbed back up in the dark, fresh and clean.

Gu Xiu didn’t move.

Whether he was pretending to be asleep or not, anyway, Chen Beichuan thought he was really asleep, so he was no longer polite. He pressed closer and squeezed his tall body into Gu Xiu’s single quilt, his chest against his back.

This early autumn night was spent in extreme heat.

Gu Xiu was woken up by the heat.

His annoying roommate was clinging to him like an octopus, his two dog paws very unceremoniously placed on his stomach for warmth. The problem was that it wasn’t winter now.

After a night, the water on the opposite bed was almost dry. Instead, his quilt and under his clothes were full of hot sweat!

Gu Xiu angrily shook the person on him off.

Chen Beichuan accurately caught his flailing hand, and only then did he slowly open his eyes. He must have had a good time last night. He said to Gu Xiu with a rare pleasant expression, “Good morning.”

“Good my ass,” Gu Xiu didn’t give him any face. “Let go of my paw! Get lost!”

After forcefully kicking Chen Beichuan off the bed, Gu Xiu, filled with a murderous aura, searched for the missing system in his mind.

【Huh?】 007 first mumbled vaguely, then greeted him with full energy, 【Jiujiu, good morning!】

【Good my ass,】 Gu Xiu shot indiscriminately. 【Don’t tell me a system has to sleep too.】

【Mm… even a system has to rest. I’m in power-saving standby mode, which is equivalent to saving your energy,】 007 said. 【Huh? But last night… why was my privacy protection mode triggered again?】

Gu Xiu was choked for a moment and said dryly, 【Since you know it’s private, why are you asking? I’m a normal man, with normal nightly activities… like sleepwalking.】

【Oh, okay.】

007 did not suspect him, but Gu Xiu was embarrassed all morning.

Today happened to be Saturday. Chen Beichuan had no classes and didn’t go out to study. After getting up, he sat at his desk not far away, seriously reading and typing on his keyboard. His movements were very light and quiet, but his presence was so strong that it couldn’t be ignored.

Embarrassment was one thing, but to be honest, it was indeed very satisfying.

The only thing that was not satisfying was probably that Chen Beichuan seemed to be more satisfied than him. Gu Xiu had to compete with his roommate in everything. If Chen Beichuan was not satisfied, it meant that his handiwork was poor, which was also not good. This contradictory mood fully confirmed a saying: when you hate someone, everything they do is wrong.

Every time he peeked at Chen Beichuan, the seemingly focused Chen Beichuan would always notice. He would first hold back a laugh and secretly feel pleased. When the time Gu Xiu peeked gradually increased, he would quickly pick up his phone and, click!

“Why are you peeking at me? Are you a pervert or not?”

Gu Xiu: “…” Sick.

After the beginning of autumn, the weather was getting cooler day by day. There was still some time before A University’s centralized heating started, which was the most torturous time.

As the end of the term approached, Chen Beichuan became busy. He finally had some of the protagonist gong’s appearance as described in the novel. Every day, besides attending classes and rushing to finish his course papers and assignments, he also had to help his supervisor with this and that. The trivial and heavy work was countless.

Gu Xiu found out from the forum that this person had actually published a core paper in his busy schedule! He had met the graduation requirements in his first semester of graduate school, and next year’s national scholarship was his for the taking.

Recently, Chen Beichuan had also been very honest.

For several days in a row, he had already gone out when Gu Xiu woke up, and he only came back after Gu Xiu had fallen asleep.

The accident of spilling water on the bed never happened a second time.

In the novel, Gu Xiu’s persona was a slow-witted straight man who loved but didn’t know it, while Chen Beichuan was a man who bent for love, practicing the principle of “the person I love is you, regardless of gender.” On the side of the opposite sex, he was allergic to women, and on the side of the same sex, he was as straight as a homophobe.

But this did not stop him from having some mutual help between straight men. Hehe, men.

Gu Xiu saw through everything.

The new message was still unexpected.

CBC: 【Professor Wang’s course paper, send it to me before next Monday.】

At this moment, Gu Xiu transformed into his WeChat nickname on the spot.

AngryWiddleBird: 【? The deadline is clearly Friday??】

CBC: 【It’s good enough that your paper doesn’t need to be rewritten. Send it to me first. It might be more troublesome to revise than to write.】

Gu Xiu played dead.

Instead, Chen Beichuan saw through everything.

CBC: 【Playing games again?】

CBC: 【Then I’ll come back early to supervise you.】

“…”

Chen Beichuan had left this terrifying notice in advance. By the time he himself came back, it was already nine in the evening.

Gu Xiu in the dormitory was not playing games, but as he had expected, he was not doing anything proper. He was squatting on the ground, carefully trimming the ugly plant.

“Professor Wang’s class has been changed to online tomorrow,” Chen Beichuan brought a piece of good news, and then another piece of bad news. “The teaching assistant has something to do, so I’ll help out. We’ll have online class together in the dormitory tomorrow. Don’t even think about hanging there and sleeping in.”

Gu Xiu was silent for a moment, then he took the potted plant to the balcony and let out a very disdainful “tch.”

But the next morning, he still obediently got up on time and prepared for class.

The class was at nine. He had slept until 8:55, brushed his teeth and went to the bathroom at high speed, and went to class directly in his pajamas. Of course, he didn’t have time for breakfast.

Chen Beichuan got up at seven on the dot, went to the cafeteria to buy the recently popular and first-come-first-served cream walnut buns, paired with soy milk, and naturally handed them to Gu Xiu.

Gu Xiu was not polite either. He carefully confirmed that his camera and microphone were all off and sat in front of the computer, munching on his food.

Chen Beichuan was back to back with him, guiding the old professor on how to use the online meeting on his own computer, starting the meeting recording, and unexpectedly, he did a silent roll call by typing “1” in the chat box. Half of the people who were AFK were directly marked as absent.

It was simply inhuman.

Gu Xiu was drinking soy milk with one hand and holding a bun with the other. He was very busy, and his mouth was still full of food. He mumbled, “11111.”

“…” Chen Beichuan was silent for a moment. Although it was hard to find a second slacker like Gu Xiu at A University, he rarely showed such kindness. He turned on the microphone and said in the meeting room, “Everyone, don’t leave during the break later. I’ll send a three-minute limited-time sign-in pop-up. Let’s start the class now.”

A class in a university was usually three hours long. The time and duration of the break in the middle were not fixed and depended entirely on the teacher’s mood.

There was a strict and demanding professor in front, an uncertain break and a limited-time sign-in in the middle, and a menacing perverted teaching assistant in the back. Everyone was wide-eyed and focused from early in the morning, listening attentively for an hour and a half, which was more efficient than an offline class.

Professor Wang was very pleased.

“It’s getting colder and colder lately. There’s only one class left, and then the exam… How about this, we’ll have online class next week too, to save some trouble. Beichuan, you’re also free next week, right?” Professor Wang said. “Okay, fine… then you can do the sign-in. We’ll take a fifteen-minute break.”

Besides Professor Wang and Chen Beichuan, more than forty students were quietly hanging in the list, forcibly muted by the teaching assistant Chen Beichuan to maintain class discipline. They sycophantically expressed their gratitude to the teacher in the comments and sent a few roses, or explained that they had accidentally missed the sign-in just now and begged the teaching assistant to be lenient.

Chen Beichuan turned a blind eye to this and confirmed the signed-in list. His troublesome roommate was on the list, so there was no problem.

But in the quiet dormitory, a sudden cry was heard, “Ah ya!”

Professor Wang’s break was over and he was back. Chen Beichuan frowned, first turned on the microphone to remind everyone to start the class, then turned off the microphone, and only then did he go to look at his clumsy roommate.

Gu Xiu had just had breakfast an hour and a half ago, and now he was actually eating potato chips and coke.

Or rather, if Chen Beichuan hadn’t kindly brought him breakfast, he would never have starved himself. The food stored in the dormitory was quite abundant.

The result of doing two things at once was probably that he didn’t listen to the class, and he was in a mess while eating a snack. The coke was spilled, and the computer keyboard was directly affected. At this moment, Gu Xiu was in a panic, pulling out paper towels to wipe the keyboard, making a clattering sound.

Fortunately, this was an external keyboard that Gu Xiu had bought for gaming, so the computer was spared. But now, no one was looking at the changing PPT on the screen.

Chen Beichuan, who couldn’t be at ease for a moment, had no choice but to walk over, decisively disconnect the keyboard, and take it to the balcony to dry upside down. Then he pressed the back of Gu Xiu’s neck and warned in a low voice, “Stop messing around. Come and watch with me.”

Regardless of whether Gu Xiu agreed or not, he pulled his chair over and placed it next to his own.

The one-meter desk was spacious enough, but it was a little cramped for two people to sit side by side.

If he turned the computer screen a little, there would be a reflection. Every time he noticed Gu Xiu trying to move to the side, Chen Beichuan would pull him back without a word. The two big boys were strangely squeezed together, looking intimate and having a good relationship.

It was just that Chen Beichuan was a little cold.

The temperature had dropped a few degrees when he woke up today. Chen Beichuan had worn a fleece hoodie to buy breakfast. He had steamed up a sweat going up and down the stairs, but after sitting in front of the computer for more than two hours, the moisture on his body had gradually dried, but it had also taken away some of his body heat.

Professor Wang’s PPT had reached the last page. He gave a passionate ten-minute summary, and the class was over. As the teaching assistant, Chen Beichuan was also relieved of his duties. He coughed lightly into the back of his hand.

Gu Xiu glanced over.

Chen Beichuan’s head was slightly lowered, his side profile clearly calm. If it weren’t for the suppressed low cough, there would be no sign of physical discomfort at all.

Gu Xiu thought for a moment, picked up the paper towels in front of him, and casually threw them over. The chubby paper towels rolled over on the keyboard.

Chen Beichuan tilted his head, both amused and annoyed.

Professor Wang’s voice came from the computer. “Mm, that’s about it. There are still twenty minutes left. If you have any questions, feel free to ask.”

Chen Beichuan’s mind was in a turmoil. He didn’t even hear his supervisor’s words. He was just thinking of rubbing that fair neck a few more times to warm his hands when Gu Xiu suddenly leaned over, so scared that he subconsciously sat up straight and leaned back against the chair.

Gu Xiu poked the keyboard and turned on the microphone to speak. “Teacher, I want to ask about the deadline for the small paper. Is it next Friday?”

He was directly asking the teacher, so of course, he was provoking his roommate who had moved the deadline up to Monday for him.

Chen Beichuan shot him a displeased glance and reminded, “Gu Xiu, you’re using my computer now.”

Gu Xiu’s chin was raised with a matter-of-fact look. “I’m just afraid you’ll remember it wrong.”

The speaker displayed was “Temporary Teaching Assistant – Chen Beichuan,” but what came out was a crisp and clear strange male voice. Professor Wang first confirmed the other’s identity. “Huh? Who is this classmate?”

“He’s my roommate, Gu Xiu,” Chen Beichuan didn’t spare Gu Xiu any face in front of the whole class. “He accidentally spilled coke just now, so he’s using my computer to attend class with me.”

Gu Xiu was anxious to defend himself, but because his mouth was covered by Chen Beichuan, his words were muffled. “My computer is fine… it’s a plain keyboard!”

Thanks to the gossip that was flying all over the A University forum, Gu Xiu and Chen Beichuan’s “roommate” relationship was already well-known.

The meeting room was full of Gu Xiu’s classmates, old acquaintances he had known for more than a year. He was not at all polite when he teased them.

【Hahaha, I was wondering why Gu Xiu was gone. He’s in the same dorm as a senior and he still dares to sneak off】

【Aiyo, aiyo, a dorm is so good. You can even save electricity by attending online classes】

【Aiyo, aiyo, a dorm’s relationship is so good. They even have to attend online classes together】

【I was wondering why the teaching assistant was changed today, hehehe】

“Ahem,” a second light cough.

Gu Xiu quickly shot him a wary glance.

Chen Beichuan cleared his throat. “It’s just a little cold. It’s not contagious.”

He paused and then added, “To buy you breakfast.”

Gu Xiu: “…” Who asked you to buy it!

“Don’t you still have to promise me one thing? Let’s do it now,” Chen Beichuan said without showing any emotion, setting a trap little by little.

Gu Xiu was not yet aware of the possible danger and had an innocent face. “Huh?”

Chen Beichuan suddenly asked, “Do you have abs?”

Gu Xiu quickly took the bait and frowned with a hint of anger. “Of course I do. Do you think everyone is like you, faking it?”

Even if he could feel it with his hands, his mouth would never give in.

“Oh, really?” Chen Beichuan curled his lip into a smile. “I see you react so strongly every time I touch your waist. I thought you were hiding something, like… a skinny dog’s body like a white-cut chicken?”

Gu Xiu’s eyes warned, “Hey, Chen Beichuan.”

“I heard that even the coldest straight man’s abs are warm,” Chen Beichuan said. “My hands are so cold. Why don’t you warm them up for me?”

Gu Xiu didn’t refuse at the first moment, and Chen Beichuan’s rogue claws had already touched his waist.

Gu Xiu’s daze was actually because of the mischievous 007 in his mind.

007 corrected him in a proud and imposing manner: 【It’s clearly ‘even the coldest man’s rectum is warm’!】

Gu Xiu almost choked on his saliva.

“Hiss!”

The claws that were roaming outside his hoodie suddenly slipped in from the hem and came into direct contact with the skin of Gu Xiu’s abdomen. He shivered from the cold, shrinking like a mantis shrimp, and shot him a fierce glare.

Chen Beichuan was not afraid at all. His smoke-gray eyes were staring straight at him, and he was still using his fingertips to confirm the number and shape of his abs below.

“Hey, hey, hey…” Gu Xiu shivered and shrank as if he had been electrocuted, and frantically went to catch that fish-like hand. “It tickles, it tickles, it tickles!!!”

The online meeting room of the computer was filled with a solemn academic atmosphere. The students were still taking turns to speak, asking questions, “Teacher, teacher, I didn’t quite understand this point just now…”

“Hey, Beichuan,” Professor Wang retired with merit and threw the student’s question to his beloved disciple. “You seem to have been studying this recently, right? Why don’t you explain it?”

Someone in the comments was jeering: 【Senior, can you turn on your camera? I can’t hear you clearly!】

The nearly retired old professor believed it and kindly satisfied the cunning sophomores, saying for them, “Then, Beichuan, you can turn on your camera. Is it convenient for you over there?”

Chen Beichuan temporarily let go of that slippery narrow waist, said in a hoarse voice that it was convenient, and moved the mouse to click the camera button. Gu Xiu beside him quickly moved in the opposite direction, dodging his annoying roommate and the camera.

Chen Beichuan explained a complex academic problem in a few words, extending from AI technology to philosophy, which made the sophomore juniors and seniors greatly admire him.

After speaking, he quickly muted his microphone, his hand speed astonishingly fast, cutting off any possibility of further questions.

When it came to the free-speech Q&A session, all the students’ camera and microphone permissions were lifted. Everyone had been forced by the teaching assistant’s pressure to listen attentively for a whole class, and their efficiency was extremely high. They asked questions one after another, and the classroom atmosphere was as lively as in middle school.

Then the next student asked a question. This time, it was Professor Wang’s research field, and he also answered it himself.

Chen Beichuan’s attention immediately shifted, and he caught Gu Xiu, who was hiding from him.

“Ahem, it’s cold,” Chen Beichuan shamelessly stretched out his two dog paws. “Gu Xiu, let me touch you again.”

“Chen Beichuan, what’s wrong with you… mm…! It tickles! Get your dog paws off me!”

“Fine,” Chen Beichuan held Gu Xiu’s wrist and pulled it to his own waist. “Then you can touch mine.”

Gu Xiu: “…”

“Ahem, ahem, ahem!!!”

Professor Wang’s cough echoed in the noisy dormitory, like a small stone falling into a turbulent whirlpool, silently.

The push and pull between the two roommates was at a stalemate, and they had no time to be distracted. Gu Xiu was slippery, but fortunately, Chen Beichuan was experienced. He accurately pinched a piece of soft flesh on his waist and easily caught him.

“Ahem, ahem, ahem, ahem, Chen Beichuan!”

This time, Professor Wang directly called out his beloved disciple’s full name.

“Class is over. Beichuan, remember to upload the recording file so that everyone can review it after class.”

Chen Beichuan temporarily let go of the whimpering and struggling Gu Xiu and fixed his eyes on his computer screen.

The left 3/4 of the screen was Professor Wang’s screen share, and the right was a vertical strip of small windows for the online students. The cameras were all off, a black hole. After all, without the teacher’s request, no one would be so narcissistic as to show their big head in an online class.

But, as the teaching assistant, Chen Beichuan had just answered a student’s question. He remembered that he had muted his microphone, but was the camera off?

He quickly scrolled to the top of the online list. His own camera’s small window was brightly lit. He first saw Gu Xiu, who was staring with a pair of bright black eyes.

“…Damn it!” Gu Xiu was so shocked that his double eyelids came out. He shot up from his seat, leaving him alone in the frame.

Professor Wang gracefully and silently went offline. The teacher was gone, but the more than forty students had actually turned into more than fifty. The scene was quite spectacular and astonishing.

The teacher was gone, so everyone’s speech became unrestrained.

【Holy shit, what did I just see??】

【Senior, is our Gu Xiu’s waist really good to touch?】

【Ahhhhhhh, senior, I didn’t expect you to be this kind of senior…】

【The cold and aloof campus prince’s unknown other side is unexpectedly revealed [Forbidden][Forbidden]】

【This is what I deserve for waking up early for online class and not being AFK!!】

【Please, senior, can you upload the original recording?】

【Professor Wang is gone, the teaching assistant’s health class can be arranged now】

【Hahahaha】

【Let’s be honest, the sign-in was so strict today. Was it just to show everyone this?】

There were also students who were wholeheartedly concerned about their attendance.

【I missed the sign-in during the break. Can I make it up now? 555, Gu Xiu, can you help me beg him～】

He’s quite good at begging. Chen Beichuan turned on the microphone again and said coldly, “Three-minute limited-time sign-in, last chance.”