Chapter 57: Psycho Part 2

In the living room, Hei Ge chased the white cat with a hideous, shameless yowl.

White Impermanence clearly wanted to get away, hissing and leaping about viciously, but she didn’t have Black Impermanence’s stamina. After dozens of rounds, she flopped to the floor, panting with her tongue out like a little dog.

When the two cat lords first arrived, the repentant Li Ran—having erred before with “cats can’t eat too much egg yolk but he didn’t know”—had thoroughly researched and noted down what cats could eat and play with.

He had filled two full pages.

He bought Black and White Impermanence several feather tease wands and two laser pointers.

When he didn’t want to do homework, he’d go downstairs to play with them—now this wand, now that laser. When they tired out, they’d stick out their tongues and pant softly.

The first time he saw it, Li Ran had been thrilled, tugging at his brother’s hand. “Bro, kittens can pant like puppies too!”

The ever-energetic Black Bro, whose vigor was an eternal mystery and never fully expended, suddenly pounced onto the white cat.

He seized her scruff in his teeth like an assault.

The white cat had been panting but stopped when the unneutered Black Impermanence pinned her, letting out a shrill scream of resistance.

From experience, Li Ran knew it was all bark, no bite—she couldn’t succeed.

“Mrow—mrow—”

Hei Ge pinned the struggling white cat with all four paws, his dark swishy tail entwining her snowy, pristine one. Until she narrowed her eyes, resignedly raised her tail base, and lay flat on the ground, giving up the fight.

Cats.

Male same-sex.

Sex.

…Male same-sex sex.

A few days ago, Li Ran had secretly resolved to learn about this stuff. Even today, seeing his dad and Pei He Yu seemingly on good terms, he’d been tempted to ask Li Ang for advice on male same-sex matters.

But that was his dad—Li Ran hadn’t dared.

Now he had a live example.

…Even if it was just cats.

He had seen cat mating before, long ago, but from afar, and the cats were so small—he couldn’t see clearly without getting his face right up close.

Li Ran still thought Hei Ge was “searching the void for enemies.”

He wanted to see how he did it.

Li Ran moved even more quietly than a cat’s steps, inching silently toward Black and White Impermanence, his dark eyes darting everywhere, as if saying, As long as I don’t look straight on, I haven’t been caught watching porn…

Hei Ge had the white cat pinned on the wool carpet beside the sofa.

No one noticed this bipedal creature.

Unbeknownst to them, Li Ran had quietly crouched down—one knee on the ground, one hand pressing the sofa surface, twisting his waist awkwardly. He adjusted his angle several times until he found a line of sight almost level with the “scene.”

In the next instant, his eyes widened abruptly, his pupils shaking violently.

All the volcanoes in the world seemed to converge on Li Ran’s face, blasting him until he was burning hot.

“Click—”

The living room door made a soft sound as Chi Mo got home from work. He had just entered the living room, and before the kid could even look over and call him “bro,” Li Ran shot up from the edge of the sofa like he’d been prodded by an invisible fire poker. He bolted upstairs in a panic, his retreating figure seemingly trailing smoke.

Ignored and brushed off, Chi Mo frowned in displeasure. “Li Ran?”

“Wr-wr-writing homework!” Li Ran’s foot caught on something, but he grabbed the handrail just in time to use it as a crutch, preventing a face-plant. He didn’t dare look back as he sprinted for his life. “Bro, I-I’m writing homework! There’s a test tomorrow, and I have so much left to do! I’m g-g-going to write it now. I’m studying hard, bro, don’t come up and disturb me…”

The bedroom door upstairs slammed shut with a “bang,” nearly triggering an 8.0 earthquake. Li Ran leaned back against the door to calm himself down, but he couldn’t. He cupped his scorching hot face with both hands.

The scene he had just witnessed was burned into his mind. Li Ran wanted to clutch his head and scream in shock. It went in! It went in!!!

Downstairs, Chi Mo didn’t rush up to interrogate Li Ran. Instead, he looked toward Black Impermanence, who seemed to have finished his business.

A cat with a “sex” addiction was truly one of a kind. Under spring’s influence, he took that dirty business to another level.

“Tch.”

Chi Mo was actually a bit envious.

Black Impermanence lay beside the white cat, squinting his eyes contentedly as he yawned.

Chi Mo gave him a light kick, unleashing his inner dog king despite not being human. “Did you freak him out again? Don’t you want those two ugly balls of yours anymore?”

Everything was fine until balls were mentioned. The mere word triggered Black Bro. These damn two-legged beasts were always coveting his balls—didn’t they have their own?! Black Bro flipped upright like a carp, tucked his tail, and played the good cat. He pinched his voice to sound like a sissy while uncontrollably unleashing his Overlord Meow nature. He retracted his claws and punched Chi Mo’s pant leg “bang bang bang” a few times.

After the hits, fearing retaliation, he scrambled across the floor on all fours, even slipping once.

Chi Mo didn’t bother with him and sauntered upstairs, planning to take it up with someone else.

From the day he had “tricked” Li Ran into moving into this house, Chi Mo had pretended to be a gentleman by knocking before entering his room.

That didn’t last long. He soon turned into a “thief,” sneaking into Li Ran’s room at night to ogle him sleeping. Later, he escalated to intimate touches that let him cop a feel.

Now, he had no clue what knocking even was—it was just an unnecessary step. Going to Li Ran’s room was more familiar than going to his own.

The door opened almost silently, so it shouldn’t have startled anyone.

But today’s Li Ran was off. He sat in the single-seater sofa, with today’s worksheets spread out on the small table in front of him.

As the door handle depressed and the door cracked open just a sliver, Li Ran’s peripheral vision caught it precisely. His bro was coming in—that same chiseled, peerlessly handsome face—yet Li Ran shuddered violently, as if facing a flood or wild beast.

Chi Mo caught the little movement.

He walked over and loomed beside him from above, pinching Li Ran’s chin to force him to look up. “Hiding from me again, are you?”

That one word “hiding” instantly reminded Li Ran of New Year’s Day, when his bro had demanded a kiss from him. The next day, embarrassed, he had avoided Chi Mo and gotten a harsh lesson. “I’m not hiding from you, I didn’t hide.”

“Bro, d-don’t hit me…”

“I’m not hiding from you” came out firm enough, but “don’t hit me” was weak and pleading. Li Ran didn’t dare say more. Looking at his bro, he thought of Black Impermanence, afraid that if his tone on “hit” was off, what he got wouldn’t be a mere beating.

Chi Mo stood with his back to the light, his face half in shadow and light when he looked down. His expression wasn’t pleasant, and it somehow looked eerie. He glanced at the worksheets—blank, not even a name written. No studying done. “Li Ran, your face is so hot. Does writing homework make you this feverish? Who’s on your mind right now?”

Li Ran didn’t dare lie, but he dared even less to say too much. He trembled and mumbled two words. “…You.”

“Write your name before doing the questions—basic common sense. Otherwise, even perfect answers get you zero without a name.” Chi Mo released him and ruffled his head vigorously with a big hand twice. He didn’t ask what he was thinking about him for, but he had a pretty good idea—something very improper. The eerie gloom around him inexplicably cleared up. He tapped the worksheet. “Write. Come to the study tonight.”

Chi Wei and Ye Chengwan didn’t bring Cheng Ai Mei and Ye Ze back until just before dinner.

Word was, the old couple had been caught eating desserts that morning—a bit too much for them, which annoyed Chi Wei into nonstop nagging, worse than the Tang Monk chanting sutras. He grabbed one elbow each of the old kids and threatened to drag them back to the city center to live with him and Ye Chengwan.

After the New Year, Cheng Ai Mei had finally been “released” from her sentence. No way was she going back to prison. The cold-faced dog king at home managed people, but he wasn’t as viciously wordy as Chi Wei. Even the Great Sage Equal to Heaven would get a headache and want to bash him dead with his staff.

Cheng Ai Mei and Ye Ze were seventy, spry on their feet but no match for a prime-aged Chi Wei. They lacked the 13,500-jin Ruyi Jingu Bang to kill him.

They had no choice but to pinch their noses and admit defeat, swearing on each other that they’d never sneak eats or plays again. Head spinning from Chi Wei’s lecture, they let him take them for checkups at the hospital, treating it like placating their good son-in-law.

Chi Wei had no vacation this time. He came because work was light lately—professional managers at the company handled things, or why keep them on salary? Also, to give face to that little beast surnamed Chi, generously showing up for Li Ran’s 18th birthday to let him feel his little uncle’s affection.

…If he’d known the birthday would be that absurd, with him smeared in cake cream, utterly ridiculous, Chi Wei never would’ve come!

He and Ye Chengwan were leaving tonight.

They’d planned to go during the day, but Chi Wei always wanted to linger when back here.

Cheng Ai Mei and Ye Ze were Ye Chengwan’s biological parents, so of course he wanted more time.

Whenever this happened, the two of them unanimously lost all ambition, even wishing the company would explode.

After dinner, Chi Wei seized the chance while the bratty kid was lost in his daze—clearly something shady had gone down with that little beast Chi Mo. At the table, he kept his head down the whole time, not glancing at Chi Mo once. On leaving, Chi Wei stealthily scooped Black Impermanence from the cat bed and strode off.