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Chapter 26: Opening His Mouth: “…Urk.” Part 2


Yeah, seemed like it.

Then he pinched his nose.

Catching Shen Ju’s little antics out of the corner of his eye, Pei Haochuan got even madder!

“What? Guan Shen Ju! You spectating or what?!”

Shen Ju blinked innocently: “I’m just sitting here. Can’t help but watch.”

Guan Mulin frowned: “Pei Haochuan, can you be reasonable? Why’re you losing your temper like this?”

“Me, losing my temper?!”

Pei Haochuan shot to his feet, grievance exploding: “I say I wanna sleep over, you say no! I say a few words about him, and you take his side! Guan Mulin, tell me—am I still your best friend?! You baby and shield Shen Ju like this—does he even appreciate it?! Even if you’re putting on a show for the Guan Family…”

“Pei Haochuan!”

Guan Mulin snapped too.

About to say something when a knock sounded.

Pei Yan leaned against the study doorframe, hand withdrawing from the door.

“You two can even argue over this?”

Pei Yan eyed Pei Haochuan: “How old are you? Still needing to sleep with someone?”

Pei Haochuan fumed: “Little Uncle, it’s not about that…”

“Even if not, listen to the crap you said after.”

Pei Yan’s face hardened: “And if you’re the one being jealous, don’t drag innocents into it.”

“…”

Guan Mulin glanced at Pei Haochuan’s frustrated, aggrieved face and sighed softly.

“Alright, my bad.”

Guan Mulin tugged at Pei Haochuan, voice gentle: “I really got no issue with you, Haochuan. We’re always best friends—don’t overthink. I just think it’s weird studying at Mr. Pei’s then crashing at mine. Plus, two grown guys squeezing one bed? We wouldn’t sleep well.”

“Of course…”

“And those words later—I didn’t mean them. Sorry, Mulin. Forgive me—I didn’t mean it.”

“Yeah, I won’t take it to heart…”

Before he finished, a sharp screech cut through.

Guan Mulin jolted.

Shen Ju jumped too, whole body shaking.

Pei Haochuan thought Shen Ju was faking disgust at his words and opened his mouth to snap at him—but swallowed it, still sulking.

996 kept screeching: 【Host!! Task Energy Bar just shot up big time!!】

【Can you believe it?! It shot up to 17% all at once!!】

【You haven’t even done anything yet, and it went up!!!】

Shen Ju couldn’t believe it either: 【Really? Brother 996?!】

【Really, really! It really jumped straight to 17%!!】

996 calmed down a bit, chattering happily: 【There’s a human saying that’s spot on—couples fight at the head of the bed and make up by the foot. Arguing makes things healthier, strengthens the bond, it’s true! The protagonist gong and shou just finished fighting and made up, and boom, our task progress skyrocketed! No effort needed from you, Host!】

【Wait, not quite right. You did “put in effort”—part of the reason they fought was you, so it still counts toward your progress.】

【Even though you didn’t have to do much.】

【See? That’s the power of staying in character!】

【At Pei Haochuan’s place, you’re their “stumbling block.” He fought with Guan Mulin over you, and after the fight, their relationship leveled up!】

After 996’s analysis, Shen Ju nodded deeply, convinced: 【So that’s how it is.】

【Even if I didn’t do anything, as long as Pei Haochuan shows that I affect them somehow, the Task Energy Bar goes up, right?】

【Yep, yep!】

996 replied cheerfully.

Pei Yan lowered his gaze, seemingly lost in thought.

Meanwhile, Guan Mulin looked pensive too.

If that’s the case…

“Not…”

Pei Haochuan furrowed his brows, his puzzled voice breaking the silence: “Why’d you all go quiet?”

Did my words gross them out that bad?

Damn! No way!!!

A fight was a fight, but studying came first.

Shen Ju stayed late into the night studying at Pei Yan’s before heading back.

Before leaving, he snapped a photo of Little Stone.

Whenever he came over for tutoring, Little Stone would drag his dog bed to his feet. Shen Ju would swing his foot, and Little Stone would wag his tail.

Pei Haochuan had once grumbled that they were like a pair of brothers, birds of a feather.

Little Stone had promptly chomped his pant leg, and Guan Mulin had kicked him hard.

Shen Ju really liked Little Stone.

It was clear Pei Yan took meticulous care of him.

Not only did he keep Little Stone’s coat glossy and sleek, but he also brushed and bathed him regularly, hand-fed him meals, and took him for walks early in the morning and evening without fail—thorough and patient in every way.

How could someone like that be the cold-faced monster people made him out to be?

Rumors had to be wrong.

Shen Ju thought Pei Yan was great.

Really great.

He had decided what to do at the Ant Market and wanted to give Pei Yan a gift as thanks for all his care lately.

But after taking the photo and getting home, Shen Ju saw the group chat buzzing about what to sell at the Ant Market.

… Signed photos from watching a game abroad—didn’t like them anymore, planning to sell;

… Learned baking from the family chef lately, planning to make and sell sweets on the spot;

… Bought a bunch of stuff on a National Day trip abroad, leftovers from gifts, could sell them;

And tons more, all pretty valuable.

Compared to what Shen Ju planned to sell, it felt wildly out of place.

His family seemed to know about the Ant Market too. When Shen Ju and Guan Mulin got back, Qin Soxi came over and asked if they’d thought about what to sell. It was an open day with lots of parents attending—if parents were spending money, they’d want stuff they actually needed.

Selling nothing wouldn’t be a big deal, but the proceeds went to charity, the event was huge (even made the news once), Qichen students took it seriously, and flopping compared to others would sting.

Worried about that, Qin Soxi wanted to help brainstorm ahead of time.

Mostly for Shen Ju.

Guan Mulin had been at Qichen nearly three years—even without selling himself, he’d been through it twice and probably had plans.

Guan Lifeng and Guan Muya were there too, both Qichen “old alumni” who’d done it.

“I remember it used to be called Anti-Stress Day,” Guan Lifeng said nostalgically. “High school seniors had insane workloads, so they picked one day for meaningful activities.”

“Back then, it was basically street stalls, like a bustling country fair.”

Qin Soxi teased: “You ever worked a country fair?”

“Dad took me to experience real life.”

Guan Lifeng rubbed his chin: “He was always lecturing me to stay grounded, not chase flashy nonsense. So I sold a bunch of his tea sets and tea pets. Oh yeah, several handmade purple-sand teapots too—barely used, just gathering dust.”

Guan Muya couldn’t help butting in: “Grandpa didn’t beat you?”

Guan Lifeng shot him a look: “You sell my golf clubs, and I’ll say what? We don’t do family discipline in this house.”

Guan Muya: “…He didn’t say anything, but I ate a month of food I hated.”

Till I puked.

Actually did puke.

Then it stopped…

Guan Lifeng cleared his throat: “So why ask me?”

“…”

The topic shifted to Shen Ju and Guan Mulin.

Sure enough, Guan Mulin had plans: “Haochuan and I talked it over. Besides some old stuff from us, we’re… uh, doing phone screen protectors for customers.”

Guan Lifeng looked baffled: “You guys aren’t even sticking to selling things anymore?”

Guan Mulin: “Yeah, we’re offering services too.”

Guan Muya: “…At least not anything shady.”

“…”

Everyone turned to Shen Ju.

Shen Ju scratched his chin: “Uh, I…”

【Brother 996, I don’t really have anything to sell.】

Shen Ju hadn’t brought much luggage when he came to the Guan Family.

No idle stuff worth selling.

The Guans could guess that too.

Otherwise, Qin Soxi wouldn’t have asked.

Seeing Shen Ju at a loss, Qin Soxi jumped in: “Right, baby, Mom has some unused stuff here—such a shame to let it sit. Why don’t you sell it for me that day? Otherwise, it’s just wasted; I won’t use it again.”

Guan Lifeng nodded: “I’ve got some too.”

He added: “A lot.”

996 piped up immediately: 【Perfect! Host, take it all, no need to be polite!】

Shen Ju puffed out his chest: “Sure…”

996: 【Oh yeah, and your big bro!】

【Parents owe you, big bro owes you too!】

【All his good stuff should be yours, Host! Learn to ask him for things!】

【That watch looks great—go get it!】

Guan Muya: “…”

He hadn’t even had a chance to speak.

Can’t let me get a word in?

Shen Ju mumbled 【Mm-hmm】 twice, pretending he’d gotten stuff from Qin Soxi and Guan Lifeng, then turned to Guan Muya.

One glance, and he deflated.

“…”

How to put it.

Guan Lifeng wasn’t much for smiling either, but with Qin Soxi softening things, they didn’t seem too serious to Shen Ju.

But Guan Muya…

He just doesn’t smile much by nature.

So stern.

That gaze is so intense…

Guan Muya’s hand rested on the watch on Shen Ju’s left wrist.

He’d just bid it at tonight’s auction.

It had some use.

But if Shen Ju wanted it, no big deal.

Guan Muya waited for Shen Ju to ask, ready to take it off and hand it over.

So he stared straight at Shen Ju.

Shen Ju met Guan Muya’s eyes, faced that stern expression, psyched himself up for ages…

Opened his mouth: “Hng.”

Just a puff of air.

Guan Muya: “…”

Am I that scary?!


Oh No! My Role-Playing Mission Got Spoiled!

Oh No! My Role-Playing Mission Got Spoiled!

糟糕!扮演任务被剧透了!
Status: Completed Native Language: Chinese

Shen Ju had to play the role of the universally hated real young master from an old-school trope.

System: You're despicable, vain, you've done every rotten deed, and your heart is venomous. So his birth parents grew sick of him, his big brother despised him, he served as the dark foil to the perfect fake young master, and in the end, everyone saw through his true colors, leaving him with a miserable fate...

System: "Baby, you can do it, right!" For the rewards after completing the mission, Shen Ju nodded vigorously. "I can! Leave it to me!" But what neither the System nor Shen Ju knew was that due to a program glitch, their encrypted chat channel had quietly added in the Guan Family members—and one unlucky passerby.

System: "You think your birth parents owe you, so you often hit them up for massive sums." Shen Ju nodded in agreement, then stormed off aggressively to demand money.

He stuck out his hand and flashed a "1" toward the person across from him.

Guan Family parents: **One million? Shen Ju: "1... 1k!" Guan Family parents: ...*They'd never heard such an obscure term in their lives. System: "You think all the good stuff in your big brother's hands should be yours, so you keep reaching out for it." Shen Ju hummed in assent, then turned to demand the brand-new watch his big brother had just bought.

The Guan Family big brother exuded an imposing gravity that kept ordinary people from daring to act out in front of him.

Shen Ju stared at that stern face, working up his courage for ages. "...Ahem." Guan Family big brother: "..." *Was he really that terrifying? System: "You're jealous of the fake young master and always try to sabotage his relationship with the Protagonist Gong!" Shen Ju thumped his chest. Easy peasy. He'd trail after the two like a clingy tag-along from time to time, or wedge himself in as a third wheel at every opportunity—like a sneaky cat-dog hybrid, furtively eyeing them with grabby hands.

Fake young master: "…………" He slapped the Protagonist Gong's shoulder. "Let's pick a fight." Protagonist Gong: "Huh......"

System: "Pretend to get drunk and seduce this aloof beauty, make him look down on you!"

The aloof beauty in question: "…………"

Shen Ju chug-chug-chugged a whole bottle of booze, then headbutted the floor—smacking his forehead right into the aloof beauty's chest. He stared at the button on the other's collar, slurring through his drunken haze as he tried to lay on the charm:

"You... you can call me by my nickname, y'know." Pei Yan looked down, hooked a finger under Shen Ju's chin, and lifted his gaze straight.

"What's your nickname?" Shen Ju pursed his lips at him...

"Chirp... chirp chirp."

Guan-guan ju jiu—in the river shallows the heron nests; the gentleman seeks the perfect match.

One-sentence blurb: They all know I'm not a good person now!

Theme: See people with your heart, feel the truth with sincerity.

Translator’s Note: The phrase "Guan-guan ju jiu" is a reference to the Classic of Poetry (Shijing), the oldest collection of Chinese poems. The poem describes bird calls (Guan-guan) and is the most famous Chinese metaphor for a gentleman seeking a perfect romantic partner.

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