25
Qi Wei’s words were too heavy for Qi Zhao, like a mountain pressing down on him, leaving him speechless.
He didn’t respond, instinctively avoiding any expression of affection, his words caught in his throat. In the end, he just touched Qi Wei’s head and changed the subject. “Let’s sleep. It’s late.”
It was indeed late.
Qi Wei didn’t insist on a response. He just wanted to tell Qi Zhao how important he was to him, how much he liked him.
Even though he had said it many times before, he still wanted to say it again and again.
After all these years, Qi Wei was already a mature adult.
He had to deal with not only Qi Corp’s affairs but also maintain a good relationship with the President. He represented Z Country’s alphas in international meetings. He had become very composed, even a shrewd and calculating leader, a wolf king.
But only in front of Qi Zhao did Qi Wei become like a lovesick teenager, even like a child.
Clutching his beloved object tightly, repeatedly emphasizing his affection and its importance, trying to make the other person understand the weight of his feelings.
But it was precisely this stubbornness that made others shake their heads and smile, saying, “That’s just how children are.”
Qi Zhao and Qi Wei got into bed. Qi Zhao said, “Lights off,” and the smart lights dimmed slowly.
Qi Wei pulled Qi Zhao into his arms, but he himself buried his face in Qi Zhao’s chest.
Qi Zhao had never slept like this before, especially with Qi Wei’s legs wrapped around his…
He really was like a snake.
Covered by the blanket, in the darkness, the entwined embrace heightened his senses.
Qi Wei’s distracting heartbeat, and his high body temperature, which made Qi Zhao feel as if his limbs were on fire, kept him wide awake.
Not to mention the alpha burying his entire face in his chest, breathing deeply against his skin through the thin fabric.
It was itchy.
Truly.
Qi Zhao really wanted to ask himself why he hadn’t thought of changing into a thicker shirt.
But then he thought, if he wore a thicker shirt, and Qi Wei couldn’t smell him, or the scent wasn’t strong enough, and he lifted his shirt… Hmm. Before the shower incident, Qi Zhao wouldn’t have worried about this, but after that experience, he felt he needed to seriously consider the probability of this happening.
Qi Zhao couldn’t help but shift slightly, and as expected, Qi Wei tightened his hold on him. Qi Wei even asked, “Ah Zhao?”
“…Itchy.” Qi Zhao had to tell him, “Don’t breathe so heavily.”
Qi Wei didn’t say anything this time, just said, “But I want to smell your scent.”
Qi Zhao paused… forget it.
It was difficult to reason with an alpha in rut.
Qi Zhao said helplessly, “Fine.”
He closed his eyes, trying to ignore the sensation. “Let’s sleep.”
People always got sleepy eventually, and he was truly exhausted today.
Plus, unbeknownst to Qi Zhao, Qi Wei was subtly releasing pheromones to sing him a lullaby. Qi Zhao gradually relaxed his body and fell asleep in Qi Wei’s embrace.
But that night, Qi Zhao had a dream, not a particularly strange or fantastical one.
He dreamt of his childhood.
When his omega mother, An Xinzhi, was still alive.
An Xinzhi wasn’t a particularly gentle person. She was always smiling on the outside, her actions seemingly polite and courteous, but in reality, she had a firm hand.
Qi Zhao as a child was somewhat rebellious, but in front of An Xinzhi, he was as obedient as a doll. Because An Xinzhi knew exactly how to handle him.
Perhaps because Qi Wei’s rut was so disturbing, he dreamt of one of Qi Mu’s ruts. Because An Xinzhi’s compatibility with him wasn’t high, and her rank was relatively low, she couldn’t help Qi Mu much during his ruts. At the time, Qi Mu still loved An Xinzhi very much, so to avoid hurting her, he would lock himself in his room.
In Qi Zhao’s memory, this was usually the case.
As for why it was “usually,” and not “always”… because the rut in his dream was different.
Qi Zhao was only four and a half years old at the time, not yet five.
That time, when Qi Mu’s rut started, he was an A- rank alpha, a high rank among most alphas. Out of billions of people in the world, only a small number were alphas ranked B or above, including A-.
So Qi Mu’s rut was certainly not to be underestimated.
Children at the age of four didn’t remember things clearly. Qi Zhao’s memories of that time were blurry, and he even tried to avoid them.
And this time, in his dream, he became that small child again. He clearly saw his father, eyes bloodshot, like a wild beast, snatching his mother away from him. He didn’t remember what happened after that.
He only knew that the scene changed, and he was sitting by An Xinzhi’s hospital bed, held in his mother’s arms.
He cried, soaking his mother’s clothes with his tears. His mother smiled and wiped his tears, murmuring, “My child, my Ah Zhao, what will you do in the future?”
He was so young at the time, his perception of emotions weak, but he always knew that his mother suffered greatly because of her genetic defect.
An Xinzhi had comforted him countless times, saying that if one day she became a star in the sky, he should be happy for her because then she wouldn’t have to take those bitter medicines anymore.
So Qi Zhao looked up and promised An Xinzhi, “Mommy, I’ll take care of Daddy and myself. Don’t worry.”
But An Xinzhi just smiled wryly.
Perhaps because it was their last conversation, An Xinzhi gently wiped his eyes and said softly, “Ah Zhao, I’m sorry. Mommy wants to face it with you, but Mommy… Just take care of yourself, and don’t let anyone bully you.”
Qi Zhao was too young to understand at the time, and later, he forgot much of it.
And now, recalling these old memories in his dream, his eyes teared up slightly.
Because only today did Qi Zhao realize one thing. Because of Qi Wei, he understood why An Xinzhi became increasingly despondent after that rut of Qi Mu’s.
It wasn’t that Qi Mu had physically hurt her, but he had still hurt her.
Because ever since An Xinzhi’s condition was diagnosed, the alpha who had never touched her, relying on suppressants… could attribute it to losing control, of course.
But for an equally sensitive omega, she could feel her alpha’s love diminishing.
It was as if… if one day, Qi Wei’s rut started, and he came with a tranquilizer gun, and Qi Wei not only didn’t give him a chance to use it but also destroyed the gun.
Because having experienced what it was like to be loved by an alpha, she knew that love was fading.
Qi Zhao looked down at the alpha still nestled in his arms.
He was in the same position as when he fell asleep last night, truly unchanged.
Did Qi Mu treat his mother well?
In all honesty, Qi Zhao thought he did.
He had defied everyone and married her, even willing to give up his inheritance for An Xinzhi. When his mother was diagnosed with the genetic disease, Qi Mu searched everywhere for doctors and pleaded with laboratories.
When An Xinzhi was diagnosed, he was even willing to constantly inject himself with suppressants. An Xinzhi told him he could seek an omega to release soothing pheromones, as long as there was no other contact, but he refused.
If he hadn’t truly loved An Xinzhi, how could someone like her have loved him?
But an alpha’s change of heart was faster than anyone could imagine.
Qi Zhao had once asked his teacher why this was the case.
After all, people said that the higher the rank of an alpha and omega, the less likely they were to be unfaithful.
His teacher had sighed and told him, “Because alphas and omegas are easily influenced by pheromones. With a lifelong mark, even a highly compatible omega can’t shake it. But… the death of one partner means the disappearance of the lifelong mark, and the influence of pheromones naturally follows.”
So Qi Mu was still affected by pheromones and brought home a beautiful omega a year later, asking him if he would like her to be his new mother.
“…”
Qi Zhao stared at Qi Wei, wondering what was going through his mind as he considered this question—
Would Qi Wei do the same?
Qi Wei, who had imprinted on him to the point of developing a nesting psychological problem; Qi Wei, who had rejected an S-rank omega with a 99% compatibility rate for him; Qi Wei, who had asked him to leave even when he was close during his rut, so as not to hurt him; Qi Wei, who had even restrained himself and pressed the tranquilizer gun against his own shoulder… would he also do the same?
Qi Zhao couldn’t find the answer.
He didn’t even know why he had this question.
Was it because of his childhood trauma that he was always obsessed with this question, a question that desperately needed an answer?
He wanted to know, were pheromone creatures like alphas and omegas so prone to betrayal?
But what answer did he expect to this question?
Qi Zhao didn’t know.
He didn’t even understand what he would do with a yes or no answer.
Or was it because… he had developed even the slightest bit of affection for Qi Wei?
After all…
He had been alone and adrift for so many years after being confirmed as a beta. Even after graduating and starting work, he couldn’t find a sense of belonging. He didn’t know where his home was anymore.
No matter what method Qi Wei used, whether it was words and actions, or a contractual agreement that bound his life to his… in any case, no matter what, he finally had a place he had to return to.
Qi Zhao admitted that he wasn’t a noble person; he would naturally be biased towards someone who fulfilled his desires.
But…
Qi Zhao knew he was afraid.
He wasn’t even an omega, so he wanted to avoid any possibility of intimacy, to hide.
Especially now, realizing that he might have some feelings for Qi Wei, Qi Zhao instinctively wanted to pull away.
He moved, and Qi Wei held him even tighter.
The alpha seemed to be asleep, or perhaps he was startled awake by Qi Zhao’s movement. He pressed down on Qi Zhao’s back and shoulder blades almost frantically, the arm around his waist tightening to the point of making Qi Zhao feel slightly suffocated.
“…Ah Zhao.”
Qi Wei’s voice was hoarse and dry from sleep, murmuring instinctively, “Don’t go…”
He mumbled, a desperate, heartbroken stubbornness in his voice, like someone standing on the edge of a rooftop, forcing someone to agree to something, or he would jump. “Don’t leave me…”
Qi Zhao realized he had made another mistake.
Qi Wei might not belong to any of those three categories, or perhaps the lines weren’t so clear-cut.
Because the usually composed alpha’s voice choked up. “Don’t leave me.”
Qi Zhao paused, then, with a complicated expression, hugged Qi Wei again, gently stroking his hair like one would a pet, and said softly, “I’m not leaving.”
Hearing his response, Qi Wei finally relaxed and drifted back to sleep.
Only then did Qi Zhao realize that the alpha, who had been sleeping soundly, had been startled awake by his slight movement, his sweet dreams possibly turning into nightmares, making him so frightened even in his sleep.
And.
Qi Wei seemed to be dreaming of him.
Qi Zhao closed his eyes, feeling like he had reached a dead end.
What should he do? Should he break down the thick wall before him?
