26
Qi Wei finally woke up at noon.
After opening his eyes, not only did he not let go, but he held Qi Zhao even tighter.
Qi Zhao said helplessly, “…Qi Wei.”
“Hmm.” The person holding him responded vaguely, then murmured in a hoarse voice, “Ah Zhao, I had a nightmare.”
Qi Zhao paused, his eyes a little complicated. “What did you dream about?”
Qi Wei closed his eyes, inhaling Qi Zhao’s scent. The liquor-like pheromones were tinged with anxiety, yet also strangely and contradictorily calming. Qi Wei still remembered the fear from his dream, so he couldn’t help but bury himself deeper in Qi Zhao’s embrace, confirming that the person was indeed safely in his arms. “I dreamt that you were leaving me.”
Qi Zhao was silent for a few seconds, then patiently reassured him, just like in Qi Wei’s dream, “I’m not leaving.”
He repeated, “I won’t leave you.”
Qi Wei relaxed slightly, then asked masochistically, “Because of the contract?”
Qi Zhao: “…”
He didn’t want to lie to Qi Wei, at least not about this. Especially since he knew that alphas were also sensitive to emotions. Without Qi Wei’s pheromone protection, which was Qi Wei’s own pheromones anyway, Qi Wei would definitely know what he was thinking.
“Yes.”
He could say “I won’t leave you” with such certainty precisely because of the contract.
Qi Zhao felt that Qi Wei should understand this, so he didn’t know why Qi Wei was seeking reassurance like this. Could it be… that he wanted him to lie?
While Qi Zhao was still guessing Qi Wei’s thoughts, Qi Wei murmured, “That’s fine too.”
He truly seemed indifferent.
Qi Wei genuinely thought it was “fine.” As long as he could keep Qi Zhao by his side, the means didn’t matter.
Qi Zhao paused, then sighed inwardly and changed the subject. “Let’s get up and eat? I’m hungry.”
Although he was changing the subject, he was truly hungry.
Qi Wei was much better today, probably because he had somewhat relieved himself in the bathroom last night and had slept while holding Qi Zhao, so he was much more stable today.
He responded, then said softly, “I’ll make you something. What do you want to eat?”
“Whatever’s in the refrigerator is fine.”
Qi Zhao didn’t refuse. He wasn’t a good cook, and since Qi Wei was clearly still in his rut, he probably wouldn’t accept takeout. Qi Wei knew his preferences, what he liked and disliked. There was nothing in the refrigerator that he disliked, so anything was fine.
Qi Wei agreed and didn’t linger in bed for too long. After inhaling Qi Zhao’s scent a few more times, he got up first, his hand still clinging to Qi Zhao, unable to let go.
Qi Zhao didn’t know why, but perhaps because he had gradually gotten used to it after last night, the awkwardness in his heart lessened significantly, and he even felt a little amused.
Qi Wei’s “subtle” clinginess was quite unique.
They stood together to wash up. Qi Wei watched Qi Zhao brush his teeth, then looked at their reflections in the mirror. As Qi Zhao finished brushing and picked up a towel to wash his face, he murmured, “I used to imagine what it would be like for us to wash up together, squeezed side by side.”
Qi Zhao paused.
He was wrong; he was still a little uncomfortable.
He truly wasn’t used to such intimate words, but… it wasn’t disgust, just unfamiliarity, so he felt a little awkward.
Qi Zhao lowered his eyes, looked at the sink, and chuckled. “You have a misunderstanding about being ‘squeezed.'”
The bathroom in this bedroom was large, naturally, as it was a villa.
The sink was also quite wide. Although he and Qi Wei were standing shoulder to shoulder, they weren’t squeezed together. It was Qi Wei who was clinging to him. If Qi Wei hadn’t insisted on being so close, they could have easily washed up with plenty of space between them.
Hearing this, Qi Wei’s eyelashes fluttered, then he chuckled softly. “Ah Zhao, I like it even more when you avoid me like this.”
But Qi Zhao didn’t know that because Qi Zhao’s differentiation was so late, he had a hunch that Qi Zhao might be a beta. Plus, he was already secretly preparing to seize power at the time, so Qi Wei knew about the Qi family’s situation and knew that if Qi Zhao were truly a beta, he would be discarded.
So at that time, Qi Wei had wondered if he could take Qi Zhao away, find a remote town, and live a peaceful life with him…
He had even made preparations, even though he knew very well that if Qi Zhao were willing to go with him, he wouldn’t be Qi Zhao. He still couldn’t help but gamble on that small possibility.
Only at times like these did Qi Wei wish he didn’t understand Qi Zhao so well.
Qi Zhao suddenly stopped, his grip on the towel tightening.
More water seeped out of the already wrung-out towel, dripping into the sink through his fingers, making soft splashing sounds.
Qi Wei… as expected… knew he was avoiding him.
He always dodged so obviously; how could an alpha not notice?
Qi Zhao lowered his eyes, burying his face in the towel, hiding his momentary panic.
He didn’t like the feeling of having his heart laid bare, especially not by someone else.
So every time his teacher brought up this topic, Qi Zhao would avoid it. After several times, his teacher stopped talking about it, only saying meaningfully, “Qi, doing this is only tiring yourself out, not your friends or family. You’re trapping yourself.”
Qi Zhao hadn’t responded to these words, instinctively avoiding them.
And now, facing his avoidance, Qi Wei couldn’t help himself. He reached out, wrapped his arm around Qi Zhao’s waist, and held him.
Qi Zhao looked up, his slightly wet face turning towards Qi Wei. His beautiful eyes were dark yet clear and bright, like jewels, without a trace of impurity under the light.
Qi Wei’s Adam’s apple bobbed. His rut amplified his emotions. He didn’t mind Qi Zhao avoiding intimacy; he only cared about whether Qi Zhao was willing to stay by his side.
But Qi Zhao looked at him with his head slightly tilted, and after moving his lips, he suddenly whispered, “Sorry.”
His voice was a little hoarse, making Qi Wei’s breath hitch. He tightened his grip on Qi Zhao’s waist, his previously calm and even somewhat satisfied expression changing drastically. “Ah Zhao.”
He suppressed his pheromones, barely managing to control himself, but those raging pheromones wanted to transform into chains, binding Qi Zhao to his side, never to be separated.
Qi Wei lowered his eyes slightly, staring intently at Qi Zhao. Although his voice sounded normal, still gentle and calm, anyone perceptive could sense the brewing storm. “You just said…”
“I didn’t mean it that way.”
Realizing that the alpha had misunderstood, the complicated emotions weighing on Qi Zhao’s heart dissipated somewhat, replaced by amusement, helplessness, and an indescribable ache. “I’m apologizing because I feel that I’m not fulfilling the terms of our contract.”
In Qi Zhao’s view, that contract was a lover’s contract. Even if he couldn’t accept more intimate physical contact, he shouldn’t be distant and polite with Qi Wei. Even their occasional jokes lacked intimacy, feeling more like the forced pleasantries between strangers.
Qi Zhao knew he had been holding back, not completely relaxing.
He originally planned to try and talk to Qi Wei after his rut ended, but he hadn’t been able to hold back just now… Could it be that an alpha’s rut could even affect a beta’s emotions?
And besides apologizing for this reason, more importantly…
“I should have told you before signing the contract.”
But at the time, Qi Zhao hadn’t faced this issue, hadn’t acknowledged this problem of his.
He had never been in a relationship, not entirely because he hadn’t met anyone he liked, but also because he instinctively rejected it.
Starting with rejection, he would never develop feelings for anyone.
Qi Wei seemed to react slowly. After Qi Zhao finished speaking, he looked at him for a long time before slowly confirming, “So, Ah Zhao, you’re not apologizing because you still want to leave me?”
Qi Zhao, who was still feeling frustrated about his increasingly twisted personality, was rendered speechless by his words. “I told you, I won’t leave you.”
“No matter what happens?”
“…”
Qi Zhao sighed, realizing that perhaps Qi Wei didn’t care if he avoided him. He could probably dodge him for a lifetime, and Qi Wei wouldn’t mind. What he wanted… was complicated, yet also simple.
Ultimately, Qi Wei only wanted him, Qi Zhao. So he could accept all the consequences that came with having him.
Qi Zhao suddenly felt a tightness in his chest, as if someone had punched him in the heart. The uncomfortable feeling made his left wrist ache inexplicably.
“…No matter what happens.”
Qi Zhao promised him, “Qi Wei, I promise you, even if you ask me again after you’re back to your senses, I’ll still give you the same answer.”
“No matter what happens in the future, I won’t leave you.”
Because… he didn’t have a home anymore.
It was Qi Wei who gave him a second home, it was Qi Wei…
Actually, that thick wall had long since cracked. Perhaps it was seven years ago, amidst the chaos, when the immature Qi Wei held his equally immature hand and said those crazy words, that sentence, “Wait for me, I can dig out my gland for you.” The shock wasn’t just remembered by Qi Zhao for seven years, making him think of those words every time he saw Qi Wei, but it also made him pay more attention to Qi Wei afterward.
Even though his heart gradually withered and died abroad, his gaze would still linger on Qi Wei for a moment longer, hoping that the pitiful person who had said those words to him for some reason could live a good life. At least better than him.
Perhaps it wasn’t that early. It was just that now, back in Z Country, hearing Qi Wei call him “Ah Zhao” in a tone that reminded him of his mother, An Xinzhi, he unconsciously felt like a moth drawn to a flame, wanting to get closer, wanting to hear more…
“Ah Zhao.”
Qi Wei called out again, and the small flame in Qi Zhao’s heart flickered intensely.
He watched Qi Wei lower his head and hug him, listening to his contented and happy sigh. “Good.”
Qi Wei murmured, “Ah Zhao, you’re so good.”
He was such a bright person, yet willing to be bound to a monster like him for life.
Of course, he was good.
Qi Zhao’s heart softened from the hug and those words. For a moment, he couldn’t think of anything else but to raise his hand hesitantly and place it on Qi Wei’s back, thinking that he should be the one saying that Qi Wei was good.
It was such a small thing, not even a favor, yet Qi Wei had remembered it for so many years, to the point of becoming an anomaly among alphas.
“…Thank you.”
Qi Zhao whispered.
The alpha, with his heightened senses, twitched his ears and said softly, “Ah Zhao, you said ‘thank you’ again. You owe me another request.”
The touching atmosphere instantly dissipated.
Qi Zhao: “…”
He couldn’t help but say, exasperated, “Are you some kind of counter spirit?”
How could he even remember this during his rut?
“I just don’t like you being so polite with me.” Qi Wei lowered his eyes and said slowly, “Ah Zhao, I’m the one pursuing you.”
He pushed back Qi Zhao’s earlier apology. “You’re not the one pursuing me. If you feel repulsed, if you don’t like something, you can tell me. Even if you hate what I’m doing, or want me to do something, you can tell me. I should be the one being careful, afraid of making you angry, and apologizing. You can only say ‘sorry’ when you’re rejecting me, not at any other time.”
He sat up slightly, cupped Qi Zhao’s face in one hand, and stared into his eyes. Qi Zhao didn’t look away, stunned by the burning love in the alpha’s eyes.
“…I’d prefer it if you didn’t even say sorry when rejecting me.”
Don’t be polite to him.
Use him as he pleased.
“…Then what about you,” perhaps emboldened by Qi Wei’s words, Qi Zhao pressed on, “can you also tell me what you want, what you want to do?”
Qi Wei replied almost without hesitation, “Ah Zhao, I’ve told you. I only want you.”
As for what he wanted to do, those were things Qi Zhao couldn’t accept right now.
“That’s not what I meant.” Qi Zhao said softly, unsure how to express himself. He, who was always sharp and to the point in business and projects, now had to carefully consider his words to convey his meaning clearly. Fortunately, Qi Wei had enough patience to listen.
“I mean, usually, I…”
Qi Zhao’s thoughts raced for a moment. What he finally said wasn’t his prepared speech, not a lengthy explanation, but the simplest sentence, a sentence he hadn’t even realized he would say, his voice trembling slightly as he cautiously opened his heart—
“I don’t know how to take the initiative. Can you… give me a push?”
Qi Wei’s eyelashes trembled, and his hand on Qi Zhao’s waist tightened.
He didn’t say whether it was okay or not, but simply said in a low, hoarse voice, “Ah Zhao, I want to carry you downstairs.”
This time, there were no polite additions like “okay?” or “is that alright?” clearly seeking Qi Zhao’s approval.
Qi Zhao felt his dominance even more strongly, the soft flesh around his heart trembling slightly, but in the end, he nodded.
…Actually, he was just a little uncomfortable with Qi Wei’s embrace, not repulsed by it.
On the contrary, he seemed to be gradually liking the feeling of being held by Qi Wei.
Perhaps because Qi Wei’s embrace was so warm, it made him feel grounded; or perhaps because Qi Wei needed him, this feeling of being needed, of being the only one, filled a large void in Qi Zhao’s heart.
