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Chapter 45


Geng Qiuqiu had been standing guard over that post, trading barbs with all the people in the comments slandering Uncle Shen.

When the 1119th reply popped up with an attached video, she downloaded it right away. Halfway through watching, her hands started shaking with rage!

She lost all interest in arguing at that point. The video hadn’t even finished playing before she bolted out of her room—

Only to find the master bedroom completely empty. The owner of the room had still been there just after eight o’clock, but now it was nearly ten, and there was no sign of her.

With the situation so urgent, Geng Qiuqiu hurriedly dialed his number, but no one picked up.

When she tried calling again, it rang twice before being abruptly hung up.

Qiuqiu’s heart burned with anxiety.

She didn’t understand the details, but she knew enough—Uncle Shen’s old line of work made him especially vulnerable to this kind of negative press.

Geng Qiuqiu clutched her overheating phone. Even knowing she might be bothering Lin Jie, she dialed her number anyway.

As she waited for the call to connect, she wandered back to her computer and instinctively refreshed the post to check the new replies.

Her gaze froze. She held her breath:

【Theme post does not exist】

Geng Qiuqiu blinked in stunned surprise.

So fast…?!

Lin Jie’s call connected at that moment. “What’s up, Qiuqiu?”

Geng Qiuqiu let out an “Ah!” and quickly explained, “Sister Lin Jie! I saw this post spreading rumors and slandering Uncle Shen…”

“Deleted already?” Lin Jie interrupted, speaking even faster. “Anything else?”

Geng Qiuqiu could tell she was swamped, so she held back her worries about whether Uncle Shen would be affected. She hesitated before asking, “Are you… at work, sis?”

Lin Jie sighed. “Yeah, they’ve dragged me back on duty for an hour already. You should get some early sleep.”

“Mm-hmm, okay!”

She didn’t even get a chance to say goodbye before Lin Jie hung up.

Geng Qiuqiu felt a little more at ease. She went back to the forum, exited the post, and refreshed the main page—only to find it eerily calm.

At the top was a blue-background announcement from the Cyberspace Administration: “Notice on Crackdown Against Online Rumors.” Posted just one minute ago. Before she could click it, another red alert box popped up from the forum backend:

【Emergency Notice】

Sender: Forum Admin 01

Time: 22:03:15

Content:

The post in question (ID: 132109) that you accessed has been sealed. Per Article 47 of the Cybersecurity Law, you must immediately cease any forwarding or dissemination of downloaded attachments.

The original video and images’ hash values have been added to the banned list. Network security departments will closely monitor their spread.

If needed, please keep your registered phone number clear for follow-up investigation.

[Network Security Supervision Center]

Geng Qiuqiu: !

By the time she finished reading, Geng Qiuqiu was gaping in disbelief.

What kind of breakneck speed was this…?!

Too fast!

But ever distrustful of human nature, she still wasn’t fully reassured. She switched over to Weibo to scan the hot search trends for any leaks or buzzwords.

Sure enough, two blazing red 【HOT】 tags dominated the list:

SuXilan LouWuchen# [HOT]

SuXilanEngaged# [HOT]

Geng Qiuqiu: ???

Her brows furrowed deeply. Bursting with curiosity but holding back, she first tapped “More” to scroll through.

She flipped from 1 to 50—strangely, not a single topic about “Shen Li” or “Qian Xingzhi.” She clicked the two show-related ones:

ZhenTianZhenJi#

The thread was all speculation about whether Zhen Tian was in a sham marriage or gay.

YaoShuangSaysBeautiesBelongWithBeauties#

Everyone gushing about how perfect Kris and Li Weiwei were together.

No one was talking about that post.

Still uneasy, Geng Qiuqiu searched “Shen Li” and “Qian Xingzhi” separately on the main feed. What came up was row after row of images and spam—

All of it:

【Aaaah #ShenLi# #QianXingzhi# so perfect together! [Image].JPG x9】

【Tsundere Maine Coon Little Shen Li [Blue Heart] x Cool-Edged Collie Qian Xingzhi [Red Heart] [Image].JPG x6】

【OMG who gets it, Xing Li Zhi Jian is everything~ Remarry already!!!】

Geng Qiuqiu: ???

She scrolled through section by section, frenziedly saving pics while a massive question mark slowly rose above her head.

Was this their CP circle doing?

Why were they flooding the feeds on such a massive scale when she, a core fan, hadn’t even gotten the memo? Did they forget to add me to the new group?!?

Geng Qiuqiu asked the other mod friends while scrolling—they were clueless too.

The CP groups only had emergency notices like: “Night event at 7 PM tonight~ Looking forward to the reunion~”

No scrubbing campaigns.

Geng Qiuqiu dropped the investigation into which “CP circle” this was. Pocketing her pile of question marks, she posted a few CP tweets to help flood things herself. Then she noticed most of the hyperactive real-time spam looked like bot accounts?

Circling back to the explosive engagement trend, Su Xilan’s Weibo was just a few minutes old—a simple line:

【@SuXilanV: Kinda annoyed lately, gonna head home and get married @LouWuchen】

Top comment: 【@LouWuchen: No being annoyed.】

Geng Qiuqiu: ?

This Lou Wuchen…

Who was he?

Unsure, she kept looking.

The post was brand new, but already exploding?

Wasn’t the heat rising a bit too fast…?

==

“—Fast? Where’s the ‘fast’?”

Su Xilan stood with arms crossed, utterly impatient. His delicate features scrunched up in a tangle. “Can’t you buy more heat? Can’t you push yours up faster?”

Lou Wuchen sighed helplessly. “No need to buy more.”

Su Xilan didn’t look satisfied, pacing back and forth with arms still folded, muttering curses under his breath.

Lou Wuchen chuckled despite himself and tugged the fuming, bristly little rabbit into his arms. He nodded at the screen. “Qian Xingzhi’s watching. The spread’s already down to under 0.03% of initial volume. Even if someone tries reposting now, it’ll auto-block. If you’ve got time to worry about Shen Li, maybe think about whether you actually wanna marry me.”

Su Xilan’s little face stayed wrinkled, unhappiness lingering.

Blowing up explosive trends was just a stopgap.

The key was—who was targeting Shen Li and Qian Xingzhi? If they didn’t root them out, who knew what crap would hit next.

Qian Xingzhi getting screwed was one thing, but don’t drag Shen Li down with him!

Su Xilan racked his brains, then asked Lou Wuchen, “Can you trace who posted that crap? Who’s the cheap bastard?”

Lou Wuchen replied, “IP’s overseas, but Qian Xingzhi told the cops the endpoint might be in WCC Media’s office zone. Cyberspace Admin’s probably locking down the logs and IP chain by now.”

Su Xilan couldn’t stand his jargon. “Can you speak normal words I get? Spouting tech bullshit when you know I’m pissed!”

Even cursed out like that, Lou Wuchen just smiled, not a hint of anger, and patiently clarified: “Meaning we haven’t nailed the culprit, but we’ve got a prime suspect. Progress where we were stuck before.”

Su Xilan blinked. “So… like you said earlier, Qian Xingzhi’s WCC case ties into the poster?”

“Looks like following the vine might lead to the melon.”

“…From now on, no idioms when you talk to me!”

“As you command.” Lou Wuchen ruffled Su Xilan’s hair, pulled his embrace close, and planted a kiss. “So, marriage?”

“No way.” Su Xilan puffed up indignantly.

Lou Wuchen: …

Su Xilan had no mood for romance. His eyes flicked to the multi-cam live stream, where the barrage of comments still surged. Amid thousands praising, he spotted ones slamming Shen Li, doubting him—even ones with potential to doubt.

Watching the scrolling spam, Su Xilan’s temper flared hotter, like he’d wedged himself into a blind alley.

“Who the hell says Shen Li’s a kept man? Just some report from ten years ago and a few pics, and they jump to that…?”

Lou Wuchen was about to say some people just thought in black-and-white.

But Su Xilan cut in: “How about you get someone to post that you’re keeping me? Show ’em what real keeping looks like.”

Lou Wuchen: ?

“If someone like Shen Li—who doesn’t take a dime from his husband—gets called kept, doesn’t that shame the whole keeping game? I’ve taken loads of your cash and resources. Might as well school those small-town idiots. Compare and—mmph, why’re you kissing me—”

What?!

“—This mouth of yours is better for kissing.”

Meanwhile.

Later, all Su Xilan remembered before being pushed down was Shen Li’s face on the live screen, gazing right at the camera.

In that instant, it felt like they were locking eyes.

Su Xilan, in front of his screen, caught his breath.

As if that cold glance plunged him into an endless winter night.

Shen Li…

Distant as a lone star in the winter dark, forever out of reach.

=-=

Shen Li shifted his gaze from the monitor screen.

Not long ago, he and Qian Xingzhi had been circling each other in front of the camera over divorce reasons.

Then a last-minute segment change happened, plus they “mishandled” Qian Xingzhi’s red card submission. Qian Xingzhi still felt he needed to step out and check on things.

Said he’d hit the bathroom, three minutes tops.

But now, with audience voting about to end, Qian Xingzhi’s seat remained empty.

Shen Li wasn’t oblivious—the longer Qian Xingzhi was gone, the messier things got.

Uncontrolled twists always cropped up when people thought they had it all in hand, just like in Shen Li’s old cases. Even simple ones rarely stayed straightforward.

No panic over the shift, Shen Li eyed the flashing red countdown on the voting timer. It felt… better than drawing a gun, almost.

Long out of the game, yet scoring this undercover thrill of a perk—Qian Xingzhi really… knew how to pick gifts.

Shen Li yawned.

No point waiting around. Might as well head back to the room and lie down till the vote wrapped and Qian Xingzhi returned. They had the whole night anyway.

He was just shutting the door when Lin Xu came dashing up. “Hey hey hey! Bro!”

Shen Li instinctively blocked the door, keeping some distance from Lin Xu. “Yeah?”

Lin Xu beamed excitedly. “I saw the ‘answers’ you wrote on those cards! Holy shit, so badass—are you a writer or what?”

Shen Li: …

“Or a philosopher? Emotional guru?” Lin Xu didn’t look like he was joking at all.

Shen Li was speechless.

Lin Xu lowered his voice before continuing to Shen Li.

“I really think you’re awesome! Because just now, I tested that answer you gave—the one on the Red Card that Ke Jiujiu wrote. I used your method, grabbed her, and said it. Holy shit! Not only did she not give me the cold shoulder, she even kissed me!”

Shen Li: …

It was a bit unexpected.

“You like her too?”

“Of course! Why else would I join this show? I’m not short on money. My family has over a hundred…”

Shen Li cut him off expressionlessly. “If you want to get back together with her, why are you always staring at Kris?”

“Damn, I can’t help it,” Lin Xu said, accidentally raising his voice. “These eyes of mine just drift toward beautiful women. I don’t even notice it myself!”

Shen Li: …

“And Jiujiu isn’t any better! She’s always connecting online with those shady male streamers…”

“That’s her job.”

“Huh?” Lin Xu blinked. “How do you know what she does?”

“I guessed.”

Lin Xu: …

Fine.

“…How do you know everything?” Lin Xu muttered absently. “You can shoot, you can reason, you can even handle family drama… Damn, you’re not Hat Uncle, are you?”

Meanwhile, the live chat stirred with a small commotion.

Quite a few viewers thought it actually seemed plausible. They even started typing it out in the comment sections.

Shen Li remained expressionless, neither confirming nor denying it. He simply tossed the question back at Lin Xu with cool detachment, derailing his train of thought. “Writer, philosopher, relationship guru, Hat Uncle—you’re quite the guesser. What’s next?”

Lin Xu paused to think. He instinctively glanced at Shen Li’s face—that perfectly handsome visage bestowed by the heavens. Then he considered Shen Li’s likely connections with Great Film Emperor Qian.

He slapped the doorframe. Sure enough, his mind veered off course, and a new theory sprang up instantly.

“I got it! You’re a stage actor!”

Shen Li: …

Shen Li looked at him the way one might regard a fool—like the foolish young master of a wealthy household before life had beaten any sense into him. Pure, unadulterated joy, like a happy-go-lucky Samoyed. There was even a hint of Qian Xingzhi’s high school self in there.

Not unpleasant at all.

With that, Shen Li swung the door open wider. He stepped around Qian Xingzhi’s two suitcases on the floor and settled onto the bed. Lin Xu happily squeezed in beside him, clinging like a puppy. “Take your time guessing. I’m going to lie down for a bit.”

Lin Xu scooted closer, his gaze flicking to Shen Li’s leg—the one that clearly hampered his movement. A fresh idea struck him. He plopped down right next to Shen Li on the bed.

“Wow! Big brother, are you some kind of injured athlete?”

No sooner had the words left his mouth—

Than Lin Xu felt a powerful grip seize the back of his neck. He was hauled right off the bed.

He looked up.

There stood Qian Xingzhi, his handsome face etched with icy anger as he yanked Lin Xu away from the small bed.

Qian Xingzhi’s voice was frigid. “Who are you calling ‘big brother’?”


Salted Fish Rectifies the Remarriage Variety Show

Salted Fish Rectifies the Remarriage Variety Show

咸鱼摆烂复婚综艺[娱乐圈]
Status: Completed Native Language: Chinese

Male Supporting Lead No. 2: "Oh, I went to LA last year for my EMBA. The sea breeze there was just divine. What about you?"

Shen Li: "Me? I got nine years of compulsory education back in China."

Female Lead No. 1: "Haha, you're hilarious. This little cake is amazing—the subtle milk flavor hits your mouth, your nose, even your pelvis and the roof of your mouth... Want to try a piece?"

Shen Li: "Nah, doesn't fill you up. You done with that potato?"

Male Supporting Lead No. 3: "What do you do for work?"

Shen Li: "Just your average office drone on a fixed salary."

Female Supporting Lead No. 4: "You're so gorgeous—ever done escort work?"

Shen Li: "Yeah, full-face stuff, like 99% of it."

Male Supporting Lead No. 2: "Mind if I ask something I probably shouldn't—where's your most sensitive spot?"

Shen Li shot him a cold side-eye, his pretty eyes flat with disdain. "Backdoor, I guess. You got nothing else to ask?"

The remarriage reality show *Broke Defense? Ex-Husband Bro* brings a bold new format like nothing before.

【Swap-and-Remarry Cabin】

Eight civilian guests:

From afar, they seem like shining stars from every elite profession—radiant, charismatic.

Up close, they're scheming mushrooms, chasing fame and fortune while playing dumb.

Remarry if you can remarry. Swap partners if you can swap.

Games wrap up, and it's a chaotic stew—who's really falling for whom?

The unique twist? Two of the civilians in the cabin are exes of guests in the live commentary booth—

Later in the show, viewers vote. Guess who Ex-Husband Bro is, and he gets a shot to enter the cabin and win back his ex!

Shen Li hadn't wanted to come at first.

No point.

Qian Xingzhi had pulled strings to get him in, insisting he join.

But wasn't this show just like hindsight being 20/20? You crash the car into the wall before remembering to swerve, buy the stock after it moons, flick the snot only when it hits your lips?

Divorced already—now they panic?

He was the first to check into the Swap-and-Remarry Cabin, a.k.a. Male Lead No. 1.

His profile was the weakest among all the guests. Unlike the rich kids tossing around fluent English and waxing poetic about cake flavors resonating in their noses and pelvises, he was just one of the masses—stuck on a dead-end salary, with a limp to boot. Bluntly put, a cripple.

He figured showing up would get him nowhere—no one would pick him, and there was zero chance of reconciling with Qian Xingzhi.

Shen Li used to be a cop.

He'd served in SWAT, in homicide, earned a second-class merit award. One leg got busted, until he couldn't run anymore. They sidelined him to a desk job. Unable to let go of the remote mountain village that had once saved his life, he retired to help build it up.

Shen Li wasn't here to remarry or even date.

He just wanted to plug the village elementary school, attract some top teachers, and maybe drum up his anti-scam social media account.

So why not ride Ex-Husband Bro's coattails? Free publicity.

Besides, their breakup...

No sordid drama. Just incompatibility.

Different worlds, both swamped with work, barely seeing each other twice a year.

Even the hottest high school romance cools off eventually, leaving two people from separate universes.

He couldn't give Qian Xingzhi what he needed.

Better to let go early.

These past years, Shen Li didn't know if Qian Xingzhi had found someone new.

He only saw Qian Xingzhi on screens, climbing higher podiums, smiling as he thanked the crew and his family—like he'd embraced the world. But Qian Xingzhi's world no longer needed him.

Whatever.

Shen Li treated the show like just another workday, slacking off without a care.

Influencers really had it easy making bank. Better to milk some cash for village projects—that was practical.

Qian Xingzhi was panicking for real.

What happened to Shen Li's leg? How'd he get hurt? Could it heal?

Why did everyone want to date Shen Li?!

What kind of freaks were these—cracked dates, goblins, and ghouls? You think you deserve him?

That was *his* wife! *His*!

If he'd known it'd come to this, he never would've clung to Shen Li like a pathetic crybaby every day. Shen Li hated lovesick idiots and interruptions at work. All his fault for being immature and clingy.

Now, after seven years divorced, Qian Xingzhi had evolved from lovesick, clingy sex addict top to aloof ice-queen celibate top. Shen Li should like this version, right? QAQ...

Few words.

Stomach-friendly.

Cool and distant.

Shen Li's type.

No, couldn't keep up the act much longer. Vote for him already!

Were the viewers blind? Why not vote?!

Let me in—my wife is Shen Li!

Fine, let him into the cabin first, then he could keep playing aloof ice-queen top. Deal?

Qian Xingzhi paced the commentary booth like a hot dog on a sizzling grill.

Fans: ...So this divorced dude's been faking the aloof ice prince vibe all these years?

Qian Xingzhi (teary-eyed, fragile, shattered, deathly pale): I'm fishing for my wife here, got it?

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