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Chapter 62


【Thank God, we’re saved—they’re classmates!!! One more happy little girl in the world!!!】

【Huh? Shen Li was the class president? His grades must’ve been pretty good at least, right?】

【Thought it was gonna be a mistress story, but nope—it’s campus power couple pure romance [wiping away grateful tears.jpg]】

【Imagining the campus drama script: These two scream top student x top student】

【Hahaha, campus ice kings power couple, low-key rivals who only admire themselves?】

【Did you hear that, Zhen the cheapskate! (yelling) They’re classmates!! (screaming wildly) Not some sugar baby setup, got it? (shoving) (shoving) (slapping) (kicking the nuts)】

The moment Qian Xingzhi finished speaking, the online viewers weren’t the only ones shocked.

Even the other guests in the garden, who had been silently munching popcorn without daring to chime in, showed some reaction.

Ke Jiujiu and Lin Xu exchanged a glance. Her cherry lips mouthed a silent “Whoa,” while Lin Xu, who had been listening to their argument drag on forever, kept his tail tucked and barely breathed.

Now, hearing Qian Xingzhi say Shen Li had been his class president, a spark lit in his gossip-loving eyes. His head whipped straight toward Shen Li.

Li Weiwei seized the chance to jump in now that there was an opening to speak.

“I knew it—coming from Shen Li, this makes total sense. He looks like a natural leader. And serving as class president for three years in high school? That means he wasn’t just popular; his grades must’ve been top-notch too, right?”

Little Zhao chimed in too. “Has to be. Brother Shen’s performance the past few days shows he really knows his stuff.”

“Yeah, Shen Li’s super competitive,” Qian Xingzhi added calmly.

He was standing right behind Shen Li and Zhen Tian’s chairs. As he lowered his gaze over Shen Li’s graceful neckline, his cool voice stuck to the facts. “Even running a 104-degree fever, Shen Li could still top the grade rankings.”

“Holy shit! That’s badass!” Lin Xu couldn’t hold back. His eyes sparkled as he looked at Shen Li, brimming with the raw awe only a slacker could have for a natural-born genius.

Yang Zhiqi’s mouth twitched into a stiff grin too. He really wanted to ask. “Oh, so how was your school? Pretty good?”

—After all, topping a top-tier school was worlds apart from a regular one.

Qian Xingzhi stayed objective and calm. “It was decent. Pretty good.”

Yao Shuang piped up. “Hey, didn’t you say before that the school was so strict you studied nonstop and wanted to drop out? Wasn’t it Municipal Key High School?”

Qian Xingzhi nodded. “Yeah.”

【Key point: Municipal Key High School】

【Whoa, so our Little Cat topped Municipal Key High School?? That’s seriously impressive!!】

【Top of the grade at Municipal Key… Can’t even imagine… God knows how much effort it takes for me to crack top ten in class orz】

【Our Little Li Cat Cat at home is gorgeous, genius-level smart, ice-cold, and doesn’t cling—pure perfection fist pump/ fist pump/】

【I watched him on The Strongest Brain yesterday and knew he earned that spot fair and square, not scripted. No proof, but vibes】

Zhen Tian’s eyes blinked rapidly. His breaths came shallow and quick, his lips licked over and over, but no words came out. He had been banking on a worst-case scenario—maybe Shen Li and Qian Xingzhi really did have a sugar daddy setup, or at least something ambiguous. That way, he’d have ammo.

But now? No chance.

Before Zhen Tian could even sigh in defeat, he felt Qian Xingzhi’s knuckles suddenly clamp down on his chair back. The leather creaked in protest.

Then the man’s grip latched onto his shoulder. Zhen Tian, already wound tight as a spring, jolted in fright. His irises quivered, his temples bulged, and his jaw clenched in spasms.

No yelp escaped before the man behind him leaned in sideways. Those downcast eyes carried an invisible pressure. Qian Xingzhi’s face stayed calm, but his gaze sliced like a razor, cold and scraping across Zhen Tian’s skin, making his face burn!

Zhen Tian wanted to bolt from the camera.

But the hand on his shoulder pinned him down. Qian Xingzhi spelled it out clearer.

“We’ve never had any sugar daddy arrangement. Can you stop slandering him?”

Qian Xingzhi phrased it as a question, like he was just asking.

But the sheer pressure made Zhen Tian nod frantically. Beyond nodding, the guy was speechless.

How could he even talk now?

He was done for.

In a knee-jerk daze, Zhen Tian looked up—and locked eyes with Qian Xingzhi’s piercing stare.

Deep in those inky pools churned a cold fury, yet they shimmered faintly with unshed tears, like a blade tempered in ice, glinting with heart-stopping shards in the dim light.

—Was Qian Xingzhi about to cry?!

Zhen Tian’s eyes bulged in disbelief!

The viewers clearly caught Qian Xingzhi’s anger and the odd emotion in his eyes too.

【Oh my God, are those little pearls in Qian Xingzhi’s eyes? [pitiful] [pitiful]】

【He’s this upset because Shen Li got smeared?】

【Waaahhh, no clue why but I’m tearing up too [teary-eyed.jpg]】

【Real talk, people these days are annoying AF. One crappy pic and they start spinning tales [shatter] [shatter] [shatter]】

【Sister Shuang, can you ask about their love story later? I wanna hear QAQ!! Did they start dating in high school? [starry eyes] If you get all the deets, no one can spread sugar daddy rumors anymore~】

【Sister Shuang, you gotta ask, or I’ll turn into Blue Sad Dreamy Glassy Heartbreak Coconut Lime Sour Bunny Sauce and nuke the world [shatter]】

Ever since Qian Xingzhi stepped over, Shen Li hadn’t said a word. He just kept watching Zhen Tian and Qian Xingzhi from the corner of his eye.

Truth be told, Shen Li had nothing to add. He even wished Qian Xingzhi would say less—most of their high school classmates, relatives, and friends could see this show. Bringing up the past felt awkward to Shen Li.

So he neither responded nor interrupted. Ever since that rumor post two days ago, they’d pursued accountability right away. But for the handful of viewers who’d seen it and now felt muzzled, they did need to clear up the “sugar daddy” nonsense.

That’s when the director switched to head director Li Zhiming. He wandered over with a goofy grin to lighten the mood—and drop an announcement.

“Alright, alright! Everyone divorces because of little conflicts like this. That’s what our show’s for—sorting ’em out. No need to get heated, chill! Haha, and here’s some good news: Shen Li just nailed his hidden task and scored 100,000 in personal funds. Congrats, congrats! Come on, everyone—give our Brother Shen a big round of applause!”

Clap clap clap clap—!

Off-camera, Li Zhiming led the applause, loud and hearty.

Yang Zhiqi, Lin Xu, and the others joined in enthusiastically, clapping away. Zhen Tian’s throat bobbed as he clapped along too.

As the applause petered out, Zhen Tian suddenly stood. He filled a glass to the brim, held it up with both hands—first to the left, then right—cleared his throat with exaggerated sincerity.

“I’m sorry. Let me apologize. Sorry, cough cough, Shen Li, and, uh, your wife—I mean spouse. I’ll make it up to you both. I got too heated and impulsive during the fight. I’ll down three glasses as penance. Forgive me. I’m sorry—I’m trash! Really sorry! Whether you forgive me or not, these three shots are going down!”

A string of apologies spilled out, but no one stopped him.

Zhen Tian shakily raised the glass. His jaw and the muscles around his eyes twitched in sync as he threw it back.

Three shots, one after another.

【Clown alert [laugh-cry] total joke】

【Drinking fixes what? Rep’s in the toilet now [smirk]】

【Lol just checked his Weibo—5 minutes flat! Dropped 80k live fans from his already tiny count. All that’s left are bots [heehee]】

The dinner rolled on.

Shen Li said nothing, just glanced back at Qian Xingzhi standing behind him.

Qian Xingzhi’s handsome face stayed frosty, the tears gone from his eyes. He leaned down, ear to Shen Li’s mouth, heard whatever was said, then turned and left without a word of explanation.

Shen Li got up from Yao Shuang’s old spot. He eyed Yao Shuang, who was draped over Li Weiwei chatting away, unsure if he should wave her over.

In the end, he didn’t interrupt and returned to his own seat.

【Wtf did they just say?】

【Shen Li, stop chatting with Qian Xingzhi solo—pull me into the group chat, let’s make it a trio】

【Kinda intimate, kinda distant vibes】

【Where’d Qian Xingzhi go?】

Li Zhiming said, “You all keep eating. Teacher Yao, you’ve got 20% left on your task, just a heads-up.”

Yao Shuang drawled back. “No rushing~ Working on it~”

Dinner talk shifted to the other guests. Shen Li sat alone in his corner for a bit, ate a little more, then quietly blended into the background like a mushroom.

His gaze lingered on the area near Zhen Tian and Kris, lost in thought.

Time slipped by. Shen Li’s eyes narrowed slightly—he was on the verge of dozing off.

Meanwhile, the impatient viewers were blowing up the barrages and real-time forum threads.

【Our little kitty’s nodding off—Yao Shuang sis, tag him!!】

【Cat Cat’s gone full slacker fish [muah.jpg] [sneak kiss.jpg]】

【Where tf did Qian Xingzhi vanish to at the clutch?】

【I’m losing it—time to complain to the show [shatter]】

Shen Li knew Qian Xingzhi had tipped off Yao Shuang yesterday. He didn’t like these privacy-probing segments, so Yao Shuang prioritized others—especially with Qian Xingzhi gone, she’d avoid asking him until Qian Xingzhi returned.

As for sending Qian Xingzhi away now…

Shen Li’s eyes narrowed again, flicking back to Zhen Tian.

—No matter how forgiving others might be, for a guy like Zhen Tian,

a few soft words and shots weren’t wiping the slate clean.

Not a chance.

Public opinion waited for no one. Worried Zhen Tian’s PR team might spin things, Shen Li had whispered to Qian Xingzhi: Best to get someone checking the photocopy of the Marriage Certificate Zhen Tian turned in for the show—verify it’s fake, pronto.

The rest could wait.

Bored with waiting, Shen Li chatted quietly with nearby Zhao Yunzhi—the closest person. Mostly about which dishes were still good, which weren’t.

They talked softly for a while until Shen Li yawned, a tear squeezing from the corner of his eye.

Then Zhen Tian’s grating voice wafted over, like he was sucking up to everyone.

“Wow, Teacher Li, you’re way too tough. I seriously admire you.”

“Wow, Brother Yang, you’re too awesome! It must’ve taken a ton of effort to win over Sister Zhao, huh!”

“Jiujiu, you and Little Lin were so madly in love back then? Hahaha, I really didn’t expect that!”

Ke Jiujiu’s crisp laughter lingered for a moment longer as she continued to brush it off: “Aiya, we’re really fine! We’re just the type of people whose romance is super intense—our emotions run pretty high~”

Zhen Tian, as if trying to flatter and make amends, hurriedly chimed in with a string of questions: “Teacher Shen, I’m really curious how you and Teacher Qian, two such stoic people, ended up together?”

Shen Li’s beautiful eye corner hooked up slightly as he lightly lowered his gaze.

Pondering how to respond gracefully.

……Two bland people?

Maybe.

Dog bland? Dog egg, right? [Trash dog]

Shen Li: [propping cheek]

Little Dog: [kiss][kiss][kiss][kiss]


Salted Fish Rectifies the Remarriage Variety Show

Salted Fish Rectifies the Remarriage Variety Show

咸鱼摆烂复婚综艺[娱乐圈]
Status: Completed Native Language: Chinese

Male Supporting Lead No. 2: "Oh, I went to LA last year for my EMBA. The sea breeze there was just divine. What about you?"

Shen Li: "Me? I got nine years of compulsory education back in China."

Female Lead No. 1: "Haha, you're hilarious. This little cake is amazing—the subtle milk flavor hits your mouth, your nose, even your pelvis and the roof of your mouth... Want to try a piece?"

Shen Li: "Nah, doesn't fill you up. You done with that potato?"

Male Supporting Lead No. 3: "What do you do for work?"

Shen Li: "Just your average office drone on a fixed salary."

Female Supporting Lead No. 4: "You're so gorgeous—ever done escort work?"

Shen Li: "Yeah, full-face stuff, like 99% of it."

Male Supporting Lead No. 2: "Mind if I ask something I probably shouldn't—where's your most sensitive spot?"

Shen Li shot him a cold side-eye, his pretty eyes flat with disdain. "Backdoor, I guess. You got nothing else to ask?"

The remarriage reality show *Broke Defense? Ex-Husband Bro* brings a bold new format like nothing before.

【Swap-and-Remarry Cabin】

Eight civilian guests:

From afar, they seem like shining stars from every elite profession—radiant, charismatic.

Up close, they're scheming mushrooms, chasing fame and fortune while playing dumb.

Remarry if you can remarry. Swap partners if you can swap.

Games wrap up, and it's a chaotic stew—who's really falling for whom?

The unique twist? Two of the civilians in the cabin are exes of guests in the live commentary booth—

Later in the show, viewers vote. Guess who Ex-Husband Bro is, and he gets a shot to enter the cabin and win back his ex!

Shen Li hadn't wanted to come at first.

No point.

Qian Xingzhi had pulled strings to get him in, insisting he join.

But wasn't this show just like hindsight being 20/20? You crash the car into the wall before remembering to swerve, buy the stock after it moons, flick the snot only when it hits your lips?

Divorced already—now they panic?

He was the first to check into the Swap-and-Remarry Cabin, a.k.a. Male Lead No. 1.

His profile was the weakest among all the guests. Unlike the rich kids tossing around fluent English and waxing poetic about cake flavors resonating in their noses and pelvises, he was just one of the masses—stuck on a dead-end salary, with a limp to boot. Bluntly put, a cripple.

He figured showing up would get him nowhere—no one would pick him, and there was zero chance of reconciling with Qian Xingzhi.

Shen Li used to be a cop.

He'd served in SWAT, in homicide, earned a second-class merit award. One leg got busted, until he couldn't run anymore. They sidelined him to a desk job. Unable to let go of the remote mountain village that had once saved his life, he retired to help build it up.

Shen Li wasn't here to remarry or even date.

He just wanted to plug the village elementary school, attract some top teachers, and maybe drum up his anti-scam social media account.

So why not ride Ex-Husband Bro's coattails? Free publicity.

Besides, their breakup...

No sordid drama. Just incompatibility.

Different worlds, both swamped with work, barely seeing each other twice a year.

Even the hottest high school romance cools off eventually, leaving two people from separate universes.

He couldn't give Qian Xingzhi what he needed.

Better to let go early.

These past years, Shen Li didn't know if Qian Xingzhi had found someone new.

He only saw Qian Xingzhi on screens, climbing higher podiums, smiling as he thanked the crew and his family—like he'd embraced the world. But Qian Xingzhi's world no longer needed him.

Whatever.

Shen Li treated the show like just another workday, slacking off without a care.

Influencers really had it easy making bank. Better to milk some cash for village projects—that was practical.

Qian Xingzhi was panicking for real.

What happened to Shen Li's leg? How'd he get hurt? Could it heal?

Why did everyone want to date Shen Li?!

What kind of freaks were these—cracked dates, goblins, and ghouls? You think you deserve him?

That was *his* wife! *His*!

If he'd known it'd come to this, he never would've clung to Shen Li like a pathetic crybaby every day. Shen Li hated lovesick idiots and interruptions at work. All his fault for being immature and clingy.

Now, after seven years divorced, Qian Xingzhi had evolved from lovesick, clingy sex addict top to aloof ice-queen celibate top. Shen Li should like this version, right? QAQ...

Few words.

Stomach-friendly.

Cool and distant.

Shen Li's type.

No, couldn't keep up the act much longer. Vote for him already!

Were the viewers blind? Why not vote?!

Let me in—my wife is Shen Li!

Fine, let him into the cabin first, then he could keep playing aloof ice-queen top. Deal?

Qian Xingzhi paced the commentary booth like a hot dog on a sizzling grill.

Fans: ...So this divorced dude's been faking the aloof ice prince vibe all these years?

Qian Xingzhi (teary-eyed, fragile, shattered, deathly pale): I'm fishing for my wife here, got it?

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