Chapter 3: The Yellow Weasel

“Hiss…” Chen Ji crawled up from the bed, his body swaying unsteadily. The System Cat was squatting on top of him, staring gravely. Without thinking, Chen Ji asked, “What’s wrong?”

The System Cat gave him a look like he was trash. 【You’re running a fever.】

Chen Ji’s constitution was just too weak! He hadn’t even done much yesterday, the weather had been fine, and he hadn’t broken much of a sweat. How had he ended up with a fever today?

Chen Ji reached back to touch his butt—it felt hot too. He really was burning up.

Fortunately, he’d brought medicine for most everyday ailments before coming back. He dragged the medicine kit out from under the bed, rummaged through it, and popped some pills. Since it was just a low-grade fever, he only felt a bit dizzy. He squinted at the delivery updates on his phone and said to the System Cat, “A few packages are arriving this afternoon. If I’m still asleep, answer the phone for me.”

The System Cat angrily swiped its paw through the air. 【What do you take me for?!】

Chen Ji replied, “A great and all-powerful system that can answer phones.”

The System Cat: 【…?!】

It was rare for Chen Ji to act so meek, so the System Cat magnanimously agreed. It waved its chubby paw and smacked it right on Chen Ji’s nose. 【Fine, fine! Go to sleep. I’ll handle everything. You’ll wake up and it’ll all be taken care of!】

Slender white fingers rubbed the orange cat’s ears. The young man’s thin lips curved into a gentle smile, his refined features brimming with amusement.

But the System Cat headbutted him hard in the face with a loud thunk. Chen Ji’s nose turned red from the impact. The System Cat growled viciously, 【Don’t think I can’t hear you thinking I’m only good for this stuff! Chen Ji, screw you—hope you burn up!】

Chen Ji collapsed back onto the bed laughing. The System Cat couldn’t stand the sight and kicked him in the chest. Chen Ji sucked in a sharp breath and curled into a ball on the bed with a yelp. The System Cat didn’t even glance back as it flicked its tail and stalked off.

After the System Cat left, Chen Ji dozed a little longer on the bed. He woke up starving. He grabbed his phone—it was already noon.

The battery was still decent. The Mountain Lord Temple had no electricity, but he’d brought several power banks, enough to last about a week. Electricity should be up and running within that time—he’d even bought a small gasoline generator in advance. It wasn’t expensive, just two thousand yuan. It should arrive today, and then he could use the electric hot pot, cook instant noodles or porridge, steam some frozen dumplings. That would work.

His forehead felt even hotter than before he’d slept. Chen Ji had sweated through his clothes, so he headed into the bathroom. He used a self-heating pack to make some hot water, wrung out a towel, and wiped himself down a bit.

Chen Ji’s hand froze. He stared blankly into the mirror for a long moment, then wiped it with the towel twice to make sure it wasn’t fogged up.

He lifted the hem of his pajamas, revealing a coil-shaped red rash around his waist that connected seamlessly to the marks on his neck. He stared at it coldly for a moment, then turned around. The rash continued across his back, and when he tugged his pants down a bit, it trailed from his waist downward, vanishing toward his tailbone.

He vaguely remembered having a nightmare yesterday—something about being bound by a snake or vines.

Chen Ji pulled his pants back up, washed the towel clean, and hung it to dry. As he stepped out of the bathroom, the System Cat came padding in. It glanced up at him and said irritably, 【Two packages arrived… Can’t you get better faster? You humans are so annoying! Why does everyone have to grope me?!】

Chen Ji chuckled. “A couple of pats aren’t groping.”

The System Cat huffed in dissatisfaction, hopped onto the bed, and griped, 【Hope you say that when the delivery guy’s pawing at you and chasing you for more.】

Chen Ji crawled back under the covers and closed his eyes. After a moment, he murmured, “…Sounds kinda thrilling?”

The System Cat’s fur puffed up in outrage. 【Pervert!】

Suddenly, the System Cat said, 【Hey? What’s with your body?】

It stared at the loose collar of Chen Ji’s shirt, tracing the red marks down to his chest. Its body tensed, crouching low in alarm. 【What happened? I swear no bugs or snakes got on the bed last night!】

Sure, Chen Ji slacked off at work, had a smart mouth, and loved playing tricks—but the System Cat still cherished this host it’d painstakingly selected. It couldn’t let him die mysteriously from a snakebite or bug in this godforsaken place, especially now that he’d finally agreed to come back and do the mission!

The System Cat absolutely refused to admit it had grown a bit attached after Chen Ji had spoiled it with half a year of gourmet city eats.

Chen Ji undid a few buttons to let it see clearly. The System Cat sucked in a breath at the eerie marks. 【…Did you piss off some weird thing?!】

Chen Ji scooped the System Cat into his arms and ruffled its head none too gently. “How are you more superstitious than me? Are you really high-tech?”

He showed it his phone. The screen read: Shingles, an acute inflammatory skin disease, commonly known as ‘Snake Coiling Waist,’ ‘Coiling Dragon Fire,’ etc… Manifestations include…

【…Oh.】 The System Cat fell awkwardly silent.

Damn, it’d been so eager it forgot to check the medical database.

Blame Chen Ji for always burning incense at the temple and getting the masters to “exorcise” it. It had gotten totally soaked in superstition!

Chen Ji looked at the System Cat pretending to be dead with its head buried in his chest and couldn’t resist stroking its plush back fur. Honestly, having a talking, self-sufficient pet was pretty great.

If the System Cat knew Chen Ji had come back to renovate the old temple just to fulfill its little wish, it would probably spit blood.

“Gurgle~” Chen Ji’s stomach rumbled. The System Cat lifted its big head from his chest, said “Wait here,” and bolted out like a shot.

Chen Ji pressed his hands together in thanks. Soon, it returned with a self-heating hot pot—mild tomato flavor, probably considering he was sick. After eating, Chen Ji slept again. He woke around three or four in the afternoon feeling much better.

Still a bit dizzy, but he could move around now.

He entered the main hall first and respectfully offered a freshly brewed cup of Xiang Piaopiao. He swapped out the other offerings, lit three sticks of incense, and murmured, “Grandpa Mountain Lord, please forgive me. I was sick today and really couldn’t get up, so I’m a bit late. I beg your pardon.”

“Grandpa Mountain Lord is magnanimous and benevolent, majestic and awe-inspiring, dignified and otherworldly… Surely you’ll understand. Once I’m fully better, I’ll clean your statue and make up the incense fire…”

The System Cat sat on another prayer mat, listening as Chen Ji lavished praise on the Mountain Lord from every angle. It tilted its head up at the weathered statue—its face was indistinct, the peeling surface giving it an unsettling, creepy vibe, like a horror movie boss.

The System Cat wondered how Chen Ji could say that stuff with a straight face.

Chen Ji didn’t care what the System Cat thought. He finished his litany of compliments, kowtowed three times properly, inserted the incense into the censer, and for good measure, added a pack of smokes to the altar.

Maybe because he’d lived in the temple for a few years as a kid—the old saying went that you didn’t have to believe in ghosts and gods, but you couldn’t disrespect them. And you couldn’t make promises to deities you might not keep. So Chen Ji said “once I’m fully better,” not “tomorrow.”

After worshiping the Mountain Lord, Chen Ji checked the deliveries. The System Cat had unpacked them neatly, stacking the boxes aside. He praised it—not bad, worth all the effort he’d put into teaching it.

The System Cat lifted its head proudly.

Probably from sleeping most of the day, Chen Ji felt sore all over. He grabbed a broom from outside the main hall, planning to sweep the fallen leaves and branches in front, maybe loosen up a bit. He swept slowly so he wouldn’t sweat, and he was wearing layers anyway.

Spring had arrived, but nights in the mountains came faster than in the city. When Chen Ji stepped out of the main hall, the sun was still perched on the ridge. After sweeping a small patch, he looked up again—the sky blazed with rich gold and crimson.

He leaned on the broom and sat on the stone railing nearby, admiring the sunset.

The hand string bracelet on his wrist—made of some unknown material—swayed lightly with his movements. Chen Ji’s gaze shifted to a cluster of little white spots under the century-old ginkgo tree nearby—wild mushrooms, probably.

Likely rain coming; that’s what had drawn them out.

Chen Ji watched with interest, guessing the type. They looked kinda like Chicken Cong(Jizong) mushrooms… Hard to tell. What if they were a patch of white parasols? Too small to distinguish—and honestly, it had been so long since he’d foraged, he probably couldn’t ID them even grown.

Hmm… Have the System Cat try one first. It wasn’t carbon-based anyway; it wouldn’t die. One bite and it’d know what they were.

Chen Ji happily settled on that.

He went inside to grab rope and a winnowing basket. There were too many dead leaves and branches around; with the evening mountain winds, if he didn’t secure things, he’d have swept for nothing. As he returned to the courtyard with his haul, his steps suddenly halted at the doorway. He stood frozen.

Something had darted past, but it was too fast to see clearly.

A rat?

Chen Ji frowned. He’d stockpiled plenty of food and drinks—a rodent problem would suck. Still, he needed to finish clearing outside first. The moment he stepped through the door, another shadow streaked right in front of him.

Chen Ji started, his eyes following instinctively. Before he could make it out, a shrill cry pierced the air: “Eek—!”

There, on the neat pile of leaves he’d just swept, stood a yellowish weasel upright like a person. Its beady black eyes bored into him, the fur around its muzzle grizzled white.

The instant their gazes locked, a chill crawled up from Chen Ji’s soles.

“Eek—!” The Yellow Weasel bared its teeth in a creepy grin at him. Chen Ji felt ice flood his veins—that smile… exactly like in his dream!

In the next heartbeat, the world spun. Chen Ji blinked, and when his eyes reopened, a Yellow Weasel twice the height of a man loomed before him. It lowered its head to meet his gaze, that same eerie smile twisting its face. Its mouth moved, emitting a wailing, laughing tune:

“A girl at home—eighteen years old—!

“Beautiful and blooming—time to wed—!

“Hundreds toast her—hundreds cheer—!

It cackled, cocking its head. Its massive pupils filled Chen Ji’s entire field of vision. In a childish, piercing voice utterly unlike before, it cried, “Chen Ji!”