【Speak up, let me speak!】
【You’ve got my mouth completely sealed. If you want to kill me, just say so! No need to torture me like this—!】
The black shadow thrashed about with tangible ferocity, itching to swallow Chen Ji whole and tear him apart. If its true body hadn’t been restrained, it would have devoured him alive right then and there!
Chen Ji looked at the shadow of the yellow-skinned weasel in some surprise. The yellow-skinned weasel let out a sinister giggle. 【Now you know fear?! Too late! You’ve provoked your Grandpa Huang, so just wait and—】
Before it could finish, Chen Ji said, “You can actually speak human language…”
There was even a hint of relief in his tone.
The yellow-skinned weasel choked, sensing that those weren’t good words. Then it watched as Chen Ji released the red cord around its neck and instead grabbed it by the tail of its physical body.
—No more strangling around the neck, but now its head was rushing with blood.
Bored, Chen Ji prodded its round, plump body. “Since you can talk, why hold out and not say anything sooner?”
He wasn’t some villain, after all. Wouldn’t early communication have been better? It would have spared him from having the thing hung at the door like a decoration for a full day and night.
The yellow-skinned weasel bristled instantly. 【You think speaking human words is easy?! Let go of your Grandpa Huang right now!】
It had only forced a breakthrough past the boundary domain to speak with Chen Ji because it had nearly been strangled to death!
In response, Chen Ji swung it around in a circle by the tail. The yellow-skinned weasel weakened at once. 【Hey hey hey—stop spinning! I’m dizzy! Dizzy! My tail hurts!】
Chen Ji gave it a shy smile. “It’s getting late.”
He meant to remind it to agree quickly so they could both go their separate ways—he wasn’t above offering the yellow weasels a small compensation.
But in the yellow-skinned weasel’s eyes, it was something entirely different. It thought Chen Ji was saying: It’s late. Time to skin it and butcher it for offerings to Grandpa Mountain Lord tomorrow.
The young man had the refined air of a scholar, yet his words were as chilling as a malignant ghost escaped from the eighteenth level of hell. Who on earth had raised such a menace?
Old Man Chen wasn’t like that!
The yellow-skinned weasel shrieked. 【I agree, I agree! But you have to apologize and set up a plaque for me, with offerings morning and night, on all festivals…】
Chen Ji smiled faintly. “What makes you think you’re worthy? A plaque next to Grandpa Mountain Lord’s?”
The yellow-skinned weasel struggled. 【I didn’t! I’m not! Don’t talk nonsense!】
“Then what do you want?”
【I want offerings!】
Chen Ji stepped aside and hauled a box of snacks out from inside the temple door. “Here, your offerings. Take it or leave it.”
The yellow-skinned weasel wanted to refuse outright, but when it saw the golden eggs gleaming on the box, the words stuck in its throat—it wanted those too.
Weasels were greedy and cunning by nature; of course it wanted the good stuff.
Its eyes darted as it said, 【Hmph, in your dreams! Unless you promise to do it every day…】
Before it could finish, Chen Ji stood up. His figure passed straight through the black shadow, which dissipated like smoke the instant it touched him. He picked up the yellow-skinned weasel, turned, and walked away. The yellow weasel instantly began to struggle, the black shadow trailing behind him with a scream. 【Fine fine fine, no need morning and night! Three sticks of incense a day will do!】
Chen Ji ignored it and kept walking inside.
【I warn you—if you dare short me on offerings, my Huang descendants will avenge me generation after generation!】
Chen Ji didn’t even bother responding. Let them come. Worst case, he’d rig the Mountain Lord Temple with an electric fence—zap one, zap a pair. Grill the dead ones on the spot as offerings to the Mountain Lord, and implant trackers in the survivors. Once he located their nest, he’d flood it with concrete.
Seeing Chen Ji still silent, a chill surged through the yellow-skinned weasel. It writhed in its zongzi-like body. 【No need every day… every seven days… awoooo… once a month… once a year! Once a year!】
Chen Ji looked down at the yellow-skinned weasel with a faint smile, drawling slowly, “Forget the plaque. And no offerings either.”
【Then what do you want?!】
Chen Ji said, “Be smart about this. Agree, and go home.”
The yellow-skinned weasel fell silent. Then Chen Ji carried it into the kitchen, untied the red cord from its mouth, and pulled a shiny little bag from a nearby box. He tore it open and stuffed a yellow pastry radiating milky fragrance into its mouth. The yellow-skinned weasel instinctively munched twice. In the next instant, rich sweetness and buttery flavor exploded across its tongue. It was delicious!
Holding the egg yolk pastry, Chen Ji said leisurely, “Eat slowly. Be a stuffed ghost at least—that way you’ll reincarnate easier.”
The yellow-skinned weasel froze, staring blankly at Chen Ji while munching another couple of bites. Its little face was full of confusion. “…？？！”
What the heck?
No, this is really good.
Chen Ji’s brow didn’t even twitch; he remained utterly calm. “The Chen family has returned to our ancestral home. By custom, we send gifts to our neighbors. You’ve made an enemy of me, but you’re still a neighbor, so of course you get one too.”
The implication: Gift delivered. Time to slaughter your whole family.
The yellow-skinned weasel’s fur exploded. It had no doubt about Chen Ji’s sincerity—this kid could kneel and beg with fawning sweetness one moment and slit throats without hesitation the next!
Chen Ji watched it chew furiously, assuming it was going out as a stuffed ghost. He was about to feed it another bite when the yellow-skinned weasel howled. 【I agree! I agree! Let me go!】
Chen Ji shoved in half the remaining egg yolk pastry and began sharpening a knife, saying slowly, “I hear the Huangs are awfully cunning.”
The yellow-skinned weasel chomped desperately, terrified that any delay would bring the blade down. Once it swallowed, it blurted, 【Nooo, let’s swear an oath before Grandpa Mountain Lord! That should be good enough! From now on, we’ll stay out of each other’s way! If I bother you again, may I be a mere rat!】
Only then did Chen Ji set the knife down. He stuffed the last piece of egg yolk pastry into its mouth. The yellow-skinned weasel chewed it reluctantly, savoring every bit. Chen Ji grabbed the plastic cord and carried it to the main hall. Just as the yellow-skinned weasel finished munching, Chen Ji took out a sheet of yellow talisman paper and wrote neatly upon it: ‘Today ____ swears: Henceforth, to live amicably as neighbors with mutual respect. Never again deceive or harass Chen Ji of the Chen family in any way. Violators shall be struck by heaven’s five thunderbolts, their entire clan perish without survivors. Witnessed by Grandpa Mountain Lord!’
He even dated it meticulously. Smiling, Chen Ji asked, “What’s your name?”
Dazed by the sweet, soft pastry, the yellow-skinned weasel answered on reflex. 【Huang Er! …Hey, what’s with the knife?】
It finally noticed Chen Ji holding a knife again.
Chen Ji wrote the two characters, extracted the yellow-skinned weasel’s little paw from the bindings, pricked it, and pressed the emerging blood bead onto the yellow talisman paper. Then he pricked his own finger beside it, wrote his name, and burned it all right there.
The yellow-skinned weasel was going numb. How was this Chen kid so practiced after just returning? He even knew to use yellow talisman paper!
What a pity—it hadn’t scared him off. This one would have been a great supplement. If not for whatever was on him… it would have eaten him long ago!
Chen Ji paid no mind to its thoughts. As flames leaped up, the ashes spiraled skyward in the still air of the main hall, dancing like butterflies. He tilted his head toward the vibrant statue, feeling for some reason that the Mountain Lord must have a spirit.
It seemed to be watching him too.
Chen Ji carried the yellow-skinned weasel outside, untied the red cord, tossed it into the egg yolk pastry box, and hurled the box—along with the weasel and the cutting board it’d touched—out the temple door.
A pack of little yellow weasels waiting for news squeaked and swarmed forward. Out popped Old Great-Grandpa’s head from the box, a bit of fragrant, sweet pastry still in his mouth. He squeaked and squawked wildly!
Huang Er’s head throbbed from the noise. With a swipe of his paw, the little yellow weasels lifted the egg yolk pastry box—with him inside—and carried it back to their nest.
From inside the door, Chen Ji heard the bugs start chirping outside again. He let out a slow breath.
He should have probed more, but weasels were too sly and clever. Chen Ji knew to act fast. Right now, it was bluffed into submission, so he’d dragged it to swear the oath and settled things immediately. If it realized he was actually sharp as a tack—a proper barefoot powerhouse—it wouldn’t have been so easy.
System Cat: 【Chen Ji, what are you doing? Why’s it so noisy outside?】
Chen Ji replied, 【Nothing. Some rats chewed the egg yolk pastries. I tossed them out.】
System Cat immediately grumbled. 【Those were my favorite egg yolk pastries! Those damn rats—I’m not done with them!】
Chen Ji soothed it. 【I’ll buy more. They won’t come back anyway.】
That stuff was too processed—sky-high sugar, fat, calories. Only System Cat could chow down without fear of keeling over. Chen Ji, twenty-five and verging on unhealthy, wouldn’t touch it unless starving.
Chen Ji returned to the brightly lit room with the snacks. System Cat hopped off the bed in two bounds and flopped onto his foot with a thud. Chen Ji bent down, hoisted it onto his shoulder, and patted its round rear. “I’ll open them for you now. Be good.”
【Okay~】
