Chapter 31: The Moocher Part 2

With that, the old man abruptly swallowed the milk candy in his mouth hard. He’d popped at least four or five pieces in there in one go, and they wouldn’t dissolve that quickly—this was him trying to choke himself to death!

In an instant, the old man’s eyes returned to the normal black-and-white clarity of a human’s. He looked at Chen Ji with a pained expression, letting out nonstop “ah ah” cries from his mouth. One hand pounded his chest as a flush gradually crept over his face.

Uncle Liu and everyone else present were terrified. Chen Ji didn’t hesitate; he grabbed the old man from behind, wrapped his arms around him, and pressed his hands just above the man’s navel, thrusting upward forcefully. After just two or three tries, the old man retched and spat out a clump of white milk candy, his breathing easing once more.

Chen Ji laid the old man on the bed. He shot a cold smile at the motionless fox, then slung his backpack off and smashed it heavily toward the black shadow. Unexpectedly, the bag passed straight through the shadow without any sense of impact.

But Chen Ji felt his hand brush against something.

It was like fur, but only for an instant. That tangible sensation vanished so quickly that Chen Ji almost thought it was his imagination.

【It’s not an illusion.】 System Cat said in Chen Ji’s mind. 【System scan confirms contact.】

The next moment, the old man on the bed groaned in agony again. The fox bared its teeth and bit viciously into the old man’s body. Chen Ji instinctively moved to intervene, but each time he could only graze a tiny bit of solidity. Helplessly, he said, “Fox Grandpa, if you kill the man, you won’t get your revenge.”

A tear slid from the corner of the old man’s eye, only to be covered again by the black membrane. The fox perched squarely on the old man’s chest, cackling wickedly. “Didn’t you just save him? The candy was from you, not me! If he choked, that’s on you!”

“You even wanted to hit me? See if you have the chops for that first!”

Chen Ji opened his mouth to speak again, but the old man drew a line across his throat with his finger, making it clear that any more nagging would mean death for the old man.

Left with no choice, Chen Ji stepped back a bit. Uncle Liu asked, “What do we do now?”

Before Chen Ji could reply, the old man barked, “Hurry up and bring your grandpa his meal!”

Uncle Liu and the others felt chills run down their spines. Chen Ji nodded and said, “Send up some food for now. We’ll keep making offerings.”

Seeing Chen Ji speak so confidently eased the crowd’s nerves a little.

As he said this, he’d actually realized upon arriving that he’d need outside help for this. What did a novice like him know? He’d snapped a photo of the old man with his phone and sent it first to the Daoist priest at the City God Temple in town, but got no reply. So he’d forwarded it to Red-Clothed Little Bro, Zhang Cheng.

Uncle Liu’s eyes went wide. He had no idea why Chen Ji had wandered to the corner to make a call, so he busied himself preparing food nearby.

Zhang Cheng soon replied with a question mark, followed by a video call. Chen Ji slipped on his Bluetooth earpiece and answered. Zhang Cheng was in what looked like a logistics warehouse, perched on a stack of express packages. “What’s up?”

Chen Ji flipped the camera to show the old man. “Someone in the village is possessed. Bro, take a look—this is the couple from the Express Station. What should I do?”

“Possessed, huh? … Got a way to deal with it? Beat it! Don’t go easy!”

Chen Ji paused. “But what if there’s some grudge…”

“Beat it down first, then talk!” Zhang Cheng said. “Whatever beef it has, smack it off him and deal with it after! You think it’ll chat nicely otherwise? You’re lucky it hasn’t bitten you! Listen to your bro—give it a good thrashing first, then sort the rest!”

“…” It made so much sense that Chen Ji couldn’t find a counterargument. He asked, “Brother Zhang, uh… how exactly do I beat it?”

“Huh? You don’t even know that?” A flash of surprise crossed Zhang Cheng’s bloodshot eyes. “Didn’t Brother Huang say you have an electric baton? Use that!”

Chen Ji: “…Won’t that electrocute someone?”

“Pfft, what a waste of those good looks if your brain’s this slow!” Zhang Cheng said. “Who told you to zap the old man? What if you fry him? You’ve got Yin-Yang Eyes, right? Charge in and pound it!”

“I can’t touch it,” Chen Ji said. “I can brush a tiny bit of solidity, but it vanishes right away.”

Zhang Cheng cursed under his breath—he’d figured Chen Ji was green, but not this green! He snapped, “Don’t you have talismans? Slap one on the baton! See that shadow? Smack the crap out of it!”

Chen Ji: “You can use it like that?”

Zhang Cheng: “How else?”

Chen Ji quietly sent a photo of his yellow talismans to Zhang Cheng. Zhang Cheng rolled his eyes at him, then said, “Those aren’t it!”

Chen Ji gazed at him pleadingly. With a sigh, Zhang Cheng relented. “Fine, fine… Use your blood! You’ve got your household god watching over you—it’ll carry some weight!”

“…?”

Chen Ji’s bewildered expression must have been too obvious, because Zhang Cheng clicked his tongue. “What else? You think it’s free incense? Gobbling it up every day without giving back? That’d be shameless!”

Chen Ji: “…Thanks, Brother Zhang.”

Zhang Cheng thought for a moment, then added, “Don’t waste those talismans in your photo on random stuff! They’re for life-or-death moments! Using them on trash like this is a waste! Got it?”

“Got it. Thanks again, Brother Zhang.”

Only then did Zhang Cheng hang up, satisfied.

Out of nowhere, System Cat chimed in: 【What if your Mountain Lord really is shameless?】

Chen Ji replied helplessly in his mind: 【Then we’ll just have to try.】

Just as Chen Ji was sizing up his finger with a knife, a yellow weasel burst in through the window. The crowd, now psychologically scarred, had someone stammer, “M-Master Chen, is this…”

Chen Ji turned to see Second Grandpa Huang already scampering up his pant leg to his shoulder: 【Why aren’t you done yet! Chen Ji, you useless or what?!】

Second Master Huang had been waiting at the mountain gate. In his mind, a trivial matter like this should’ve been child’s play for Chen Ji. He’d been counting on heading back with him for a plate of salt-and-pepper fried rabbit chunks! So he’d come to check.

Chen Ji said helplessly, “Second Grandpa Huang, the fox is holding the old man hostage against me. What can I do?”

Second Grandpa Huang crossed his legs smugly: 【Tch tch, humans are such a pain! It’s just a little fox spirit acting tough because it grabbed a hostage! Time for your Second Grandpa Huang to step in!】

In the next instant, everyone saw the yellow weasel leap from Chen Ji’s shoulder, landing right on the bed. It unleashed a flurry of punches and kicks at the spot above the old man’s chest. In moments, the old man’s eyes cleared, and Second Uncle Wang and Xiao Wang’s Wife, whom they’d been gripping, went limp and fainted.

From Chen Ji’s perspective, it was like this: Second Master Huang didn’t even bother manifesting the black shadow. With his tiny paws, he delivered a massive beatdown to the fox, who yelped pitifully. Finally, Second Master Huang shoved the fox toward him while cursing: 【Oh ho, big shot, huh! Didn’t you know this guy’s under your Second Grandpa Huang’s protection?!】

【Think a bit of cultivation makes you hot stuff? Gotten too big for your britches?! Haven’t even paid respects at the docks and you wanna throw your weight around? Dream on!】 Second Master Huang dragged the fox right up to Chen Ji: 【Speak!】

【Oh right, forgot—you can’t even talk.】 Second Master Huang threw up his paws: 【What a pathetic loser!】

He looked up at Chen Ji and beckoned with a claw: 【See that, kid? That’s how you do it! Why be all polite with it? You’re embarrassing me, your Second Grandpa Huang!】

Chen Ji sighed. “The old man’s up in years…”

Second Master Huang saw nothing odd about it. Chen Ji had caught him slick as could be back then—how could he be stumped by this fledgling fox spirit? He was just being cautious for the old man’s sake, trying to talk it out nice.

He gave the fox spirit another shove. 【He was being polite, and you actually thought you were somebody! Chen Ji, we good to go?】

Chen Ji pointed at the fox spirit. “We still need to find where it’s hiding… Why don’t you head back first? I’ll come up the mountain once I track it down.”

【Tch!】 Second Master Huang said impatiently: 【Why bother? You want this fox spirit, right? I’ll snag it for you on the way back. Its dharma image is with me—it ain’t going nowhere! Let’s move!】

With that, Second Master Huang hopped onto Chen Ji’s shoulder. A thread now dangled from his claw—one end with him, the other tied to the fox spirit, forcing it to trail obediently after them.

Now Chen Ji finally had a moment to address the room. Uncle Liu held up a big wok spatula and asked, “Chen Ji, this food…” Should they still offer it?

Chen Ji maintained his usual calm demeanor. “Go ahead and eat this spread yourselves.”

“Second Grandpa Huang handled it today. Once the old man’s fully recovered, we’ll set a proper table at the mountain gate to thank him… That’s all.”

Uncle Liu eyed the yellow weasel strutting smugly on Chen Ji’s shoulder and swallowed hard. “Got it!”

Chen Ji nodded and turned to leave. As the door swung open, dozens of curious eyes from outside turned toward him in unison. Seeing it was Chen Ji, they bombarded him with questions. “Master Chen, what’s going on inside? Did I hear something about a great immortal?”

“Was it really the great immortal causing trouble?”

“Is it sorted now, Master Chen?”

Chen Ji raised a hand, took a deep breath, and struck a profound, otherworldly pose. “All a big misunderstanding. Probably just mushroom poisoning. Nothing serious—off to the hospital soon and he’ll be fine…”

The crowd peered inside as Chen Ji slipped away in the chaos.

Second Master Huang snorted. 【Why’s your family always pulling this? Your grandpa used to say the same—soul loss from bad shrooms, possession from bad shrooms…】

A hint of amusement crept into Chen Ji’s smile. “Family tradition. Gotta learn it.”

【You’re a natural.】

Chen Ji smiled without replying.

What had he learned so well? He had no idea.

If it hadn’t come in today, he’d probably still be over there right now, cutting his finger to draw talismans.