Chapter 18

Over the past couple of days, Yan Tuo had stopped lugging the birdcage to and from work. The little guy’s luxury villa now sat permanently on the desk by the window in his office, with just two extra food and water bowls placed at home. He had dropped all defenses, letting it flap around freely.

As for using the toilet, he’d only mentioned it once, and the Divine Bird with an IQ of 180 had already learned to use the commode. It was incredibly convenient.

The things happening to this little white dumpling shocked him every single day. By now, he had grown numb to the surprises. Even if someone told him it was actually a sparrow spirit on the verge of gaining enlightenment, transforming into a human, he would probably just say “Oh” with a faint smile and start helping it sort out an ID card.

After settling into his chair at the desk, Yan Tuo opened his computer and logged into the OA system to handle the day’s workflow. Then, as usual, he checked his email for unread messages.

The internet was lagging a bit, and the interface refused to load. Meanwhile, Bai Yiyi, standing nearby, suddenly broke out in a cold sweat.

A hundred secrets leaked through one oversight. In his rush to clean up last night, he’d deleted the browser history but forgotten the email login records. The moment the interface popped up, it would show his own account. This was his crush’s personal laptop—how could it not raise suspicions?

No time to waste. Bai Yiyi decided to immediately divert the man’s attention and figure out a slow-burn plan later.

He hopped onto the keyboard and began to sing: “Spring sleep not…”

The bird had only uttered three words when Bai Yiyi froze completely. His wings remained outstretched in position, his entire body turning into an ice sculpture.

Holy crap! He had clearly just spoken human words, enunciating each one crystal clear. System, get out here and explain yourself right now—I swear I won’t kill you!

The system replied cheerfully: “Surprise! Yiyi, aren’t I amazing? I made a slight adjustment to the base of your tongue and syrinx in bird form, so now you can mimic human speech just like a parrot. You can even call your mom to let her know you’re safe anytime—isn’t that convenient?”

Bai Yiyi ground his teeth to pieces in his mind. Convenient? Of course it was convenient—convenient enough to scare someone to death.

But no matter how convenient, couldn’t you have given me a heads-up?

A pet bird suddenly spouting Mandarin—what, did it want to frighten his crush into a nervous breakdown?

The song had already started, so playing dumb wouldn’t work. In a flash of inspiration, Bai Yiyi mimicked a parrot’s rote learning style, warbling off-key as he continued: “…not aware dawn, …how many slaps know.”

Yan Tuo watched his beloved pet sing the entire “Mosquito Song,” utterly at a loss for how to react.

He had just felt like he’d gone numb to shocks, that nothing strange could surprise him anymore. But the little guy immediately unlocked a new skill, shocking him all over again.

Now it had even mastered parrot mimicry. Next step: actual conversation?

“…Tangyuan, you can talk now?”

Bai Yiyi tried to play it off: “Tweet tweet.”

“…You sang a whole song perfectly. Learning a few words shouldn’t be hard. Come on, say my name… Yan Tuo… Yan… Tuo…”

His crush coaxed him gently, over and over. Bai Yiyi fell under the spell immediately. How tempting it was to call out the name he’d hidden in his heart openly.

He held back, and held back some more, until he couldn’t hold back anymore. A shred of reason remained, reminding him to pitch his voice like a little bird chirp: “…Yan… Tuo.”

Aaaah, so embarrassing!

In Yan Tuo’s eyes, the little white dumpling less than ten centimeters tall called his name in that delicate, piping voice. Afterward, it shyly lowered its head, letting the watermelon lid of its crest completely cover its eyes, too embarrassed to glance at him again.

This was foul play in the cuteness department…

Yan Tuo took a critical hit, his health bar dropping to zero. He finally understood what “moe” really meant. Without thinking, the words tumbled out:

“Baby’s so good… Tangyuan, you’re Tangyuan. Say it: Tangyuan is great. Tan… gyuan… is… great!”

Emailing went straight out the window to Java. He didn’t even notice the little dumpling hopping and pecking around, spawning a mess of pop-up windows across the screen. Right now, all he wanted was to teach it more words, get it to say more things.

Ah, toys really did sap one’s ambition.

When Sun Lei knocked and entered, she caught this heartwarming teaching scene. “Captain Yan, the director says there’s a short meeting in ten minutes. You’re…?”

Caught by a subordinate not working first thing in the morning, Yan Tuo flushed faintly—rare for him. He rubbed his fingers and replied, “Got it.”

Once he’d answered, he grabbed a paper and pen and stood, half-explaining and half-bragging to Sun Lei as he went: “Tangyuan’s found its voice. It can mimic now— it just said my name.”

Sun Lei’s eyes went wide as saucers. After the boss left, she hurried to the desk where the little dumpling stood and coaxed softly: “Tangyuan, say my name too. Sun Lei, I’m Sun Lei. Sun… Lei.”

For the sake of the crunchy noodles, Bai Yiyi obliged: “Gave… birth… gave birth.”

“Not ‘gave birth,’ Sun Lei. S-ūn sūn, l-ěi lěi! Sun… Lei.”

You’re really trying to teach a little bird Pinyin?

Seeing how earnest she was, Bai Yiyi dropped the act and enunciated properly: “Sun… Lei.”

It wasn’t perfectly accented, but it was pretty close.

Sun Lei lit up like she’d won the lottery, practically bouncing with joy. Her eyes darted around, then she dashed to her workstation, grabbed her phone, shut the deputy detachment captain’s office door securely, and clasped her hands in plea to the little dumpling: “Tangyuan, my dear Tangyuan, sing a song for sister so I can record a short video? You’re so good—I really want to post it on TikTok.”

Recording a video? Bai Yiyi wasn’t having it. He pretended not to understand and stayed silent, grooming the feathers on his shoulders instead.

He’d never liked being on camera. The first time he’d met his online friends in person, they’d roasted him mercilessly for wasting his stunning good looks. If he showed his face in art streams, he’d probably be famous already.

How could they understand a social anxiety sufferer’s panic? The more attention from crowds, the more terrified he got. He wished everyone around him was blind, unable to see that overly pretty face of his.

…Wait, no—that wasn’t his face anymore. Now he was just a bird.

The beautiful policewoman by the desk switched to temptation: “Three packs of crunchy noodles? Spicy flavor?”

Ooh, that was tempting. As a purebred C Province kid, after nearly a month of bland bird chow, his mouth felt like it was fading away. Anything spicy made his mouth water just thinking about it.

Fine, he’d play along… It wasn’t a human face getting exposed anyway. Get it over with, shoo her out, and he could fix the login issue.

Bai Yiyi hopped onto the computer screen, cleared his throat, and prepared his performance.

Sun Lei held up her phone to test the shot, then realized it wasn’t ideal—the boss’s desk was clearly visible in the background. What if it leaked sensitive info?

She glanced around and said to the little dumpling: “Tangyuan, let’s move. The windowsill’s perfect—blue sky background to make you look even more like white jade, all cute and adorable.”

Bai Yiyi happily switched stages. On the sparkling white windowsill, he performed his signature “Mosquito Song” once more, earning three small packs of spicy crunchy noodles as promised.

Once the girl left the office, thoughtfully closing the door behind her, Bai Yiyi used his claws to painstakingly maneuver the mouse, switching the email login back to his crush’s account. He finally breathed a sigh of relief.

That afternoon, a short video tagged “cute pet” on the Douyin quickly heated up. The uploader “Blooming Flower Bud” didn’t show her face, but her voice suggested a young woman.

She introduced the pure-white crested canary in the video, topped with a gray-black pot-lid crest: the little dumpling was named Tangyuan, the boss’s prized treasure. Its IQ was off the charts—it understood human speech, could say simple words, and even sang songs with perfect pitch.

After the intro came the performance. The little guy tucked its wings behind its back, standing on a windowsill and belting out the tune, swaying left and right to the rhythm.

“Spring sleep not aware dawn… how many slaps know.”

Once the full song wrapped, comments flooded the screen below, shooting straight up, with likes in the countless thousands.

“? Am I blind? Is this a fringed finch or a parrot?”

“OMG, fake dubbing, right? I can’t even sing it that on-pitch.”

“The lingering notes could circle the beams for three days.”

“What breed is this bird? Too cute, wanna sneak it home.”

“White crested canary—super rare.”

“Real Tangyuan, wanna poke it till it pops!”

…

“Blooming Flower Bud”‘s TikTok account exploded to over 60,000 followers from that one video alone.

Sun Lei, thrilled by the sudden attention, couldn’t contain her excitement. The next day at noon, after much wheedling and getting permission from the pet’s two owners, she started a little live stream.

This time, it was a live mimicry session.

“Sister Sun Lei, Tangyuan be good. Say… Sun… Lei… sis… ter.”

The little dumpling slightly raised its watermelon head, glanced at the camera, and chirped clearly in its bird voice: “…Sun… Lei… sis… ter? Wait, lit… tle sis.”

“Sis… ter Sun Lei.”

“Lit… tle sis Sun Lei.”

No matter how many times Sun Lei repeated it, “sister” always turned into “little sister.” Bai Yiyi griped inwardly: Don’t think just ’cause I’m a bird you can fool me and take advantage. I saw your ID at your desk last time—you’re two months younger than me. Sister? Never gonna happen!

The chat barrages were already rolling with laughter.

“I swear, I just saw ‘disdain’ in Tangyuan’s eyes!”

“Live failure of parrot training school.”

“UP main’s name is Sun Lei—cute.”

“Whoa, this bird mimics so well. When’s my myna gonna reach this level?”

“Upstairs, bring your myna to watch ASAP.”

…

After that day, the fan count broke through 100,000, and Sun Lei even received a message from the platform inquiring if she wanted to sign a contract, do some advertising, live stream sales, and the like.

As a public servant, Sun Lei naturally rejected the platform’s proposal. Moreover, the videos had gone viral thanks to Tangyuan’s cuteness, which had basically nothing to do with her. How could she possibly exploit this traffic for personal gain?

So signing was out of the question. But seeing so many people liking Tangyuan filled Sun Lei with pride. At the cost of bag after bag of instant noodles (spicy flavor), she occasionally coaxed the little one into shooting some short videos, which gradually turned this white dumpling into an internet sensation.

Bai Yiyi didn’t pay much attention to the little girl’s antics. To him, it was just singing or chatting in exchange for a small snack. Nowadays, he could earn a steady three to five minutes each day. As soon as midnight arrived, he couldn’t resist spending it, transforming into human form for an hour to secretly do the things he enjoyed.

What did he like to do?

It’s a bit embarrassing to say.