Chapter 11: Face-Hugger Bird

Pei Du hadn’t guarded against Little Bird’s first attempt, but he managed to block it with his hand just before the bird could charge upward again, averting any real danger.

Shen Jiujiu collided with Pei Du’s palm. His wings splayed across the man’s fingers, and his little head rested lightly against them as he let out a soft cheep-cheep.

No matter how you looked at it, Little Bird wasn’t giving up.

The bed-crawling bird would never surrender!

Shen Jiujiu’s black bean eyes brimmed with stubborn defiance.

If Pei Du didn’t know that this tiny bird housed the soul of a young man, he could have simply locked it in a birdcage and thrown a cover over it to muffle any noise.

But Pei Du knew the truth, so he couldn’t do that.

If a human teenager had tried to climb into his bed instead, Pei Du would have called for servants to drag the boy away and sternly lecture him on such improper behavior.

But it was a fist-sized bird stubbornly clambering onto the bed, so Pei Du couldn’t very well summon people to capture and remove a single bird.

And as a bird with a human soul, Shen Jiujiu might not be able to speak or fly, but he was an expert at picking locks, slipping through doors, and patching windows. Even if someone watched him closely, a single moment of dozing off would leave Pei Du with a wall-climbing, midnight-raiding bird on his hands.

In that brief span, countless thoughts raced through Pei Du’s mind, ultimately settling into a helpless twitch of his eyelid.

Pei Du: “You…”

Little Bird tilted his head up: “Cheep!”

Pei Du stepped back: “Fine. You can come up.”

Pei Du scooped up Little Bird and placed him in the corner by the headboard. He even dragged over a pillow to form a barrier between himself and the bird.

“But you’re too small. I might roll over and crush you, so you can only sleep here.”

Shen Jiujiu knew better than to push his luck when he’d already won a concession. He obediently nestled into the narrow space between the pillow and the headboard. His tiny claws padded gently across the soft bedding in a circle, and he seemed quite satisfied as he settled down.

Moonlight silently spilled through the window lattice, faintly illuminating the bed curtains draped at the edge.

From the calming incense in the corner of the room, wisps of light smoke drifted out, slowly dissipating into the quiet night.

Gradually, the rise and fall of Pei Du’s chest evened out, his breathing growing steady and deep.

Little Bird’s eyes snapped open.

Confirming that Pei Du was truly asleep, Shen Jiujiu flicked his tail feathers, waddled to his feet, backed up a couple of steps for a running start, and leaped onto the pillow separating him from Pei Du.

But he misjudged, his foot slipping out from under him. The entire bird went tumbling headfirst toward Pei Du’s pillow.

Help—help—help—

Shen Jiujiu’s eyes bulged wide. He didn’t dare flap his wings for fear of waking Pei Du, so he clawed desperately at the bedding to slow his momentum. Just as he was about to crash into Pei Du’s pillow, in a moment of desperation, Shen Jiujiu opened his beak and clamped down hard on the sheet beneath him. With a screech of fabric, he barely managed to halt his little bird bumper car.

Shen Jiujiu let out a silent sigh of relief. Cautiously, he released his grip, smacked his beak a few times to ease the strain from clenching so hard, and leaned against the edge of Pei Du’s pillow to catch his breath.

While he was at it, he checked if his commotion had woken Pei Du.

Shen Jiujiu’s head poked cautiously over the edge of the pillow.

Pei Du slept deeply, hands folded neatly over his stomach in a proper, upright position.

Shen Jiujiu was a bird meant to be active by day and sleep at night, so his night vision wasn’t great. To avoid bumping into anything, he fixed his gaze on his target and inched forward on his belly.

By the time Shen Jiujiu finally wriggled close enough to Pei Du to gently press his little head against the man’s earlobe, the midnight intruder was thoroughly exhausted and drowsy. He fell asleep in moments.

In his dream, Shen Jiujiu saw Shen Xinian once more.

…

Shen Jiujiu opened his eyes, the distinct sweet juiciness of watermelon lingering in his mouth.

But he knew full well he was dreaming.

This was a rural courtyard home. Not far from the main hall, a mirror hung on the wall, perfectly reflecting Shen Jiujiu’s current appearance.

The boy looked young, maybe seventeen or eighteen. His black, soft short hair gave him a quiet, studious air. He wore a short-sleeved shirt and shorts, cradling half a watermelon in his lap as he scooped it out with a spoon. A fan whirred noisily beside him.

A phone lay by his leg, reading a novel aloud.

The boy glanced down, and from Shen Jiujiu’s perspective as the boy, he saw the novel’s title on the screen.

Without warning—just as he’d instantly recognized all the furnishings in the room upon seeing them—Shen Jiujiu knew at once what this was: a male-oriented Long Aotian harem power fantasy web novel.

“…Sui Ziming’s death was a massive blow to Pei Du. Without Sui Ziming’s collaboration, the Canlang Army guarding the borderlands suffered heavy casualties that winter due to shortages of supplies, shocking the court.”

“That same year, Prince Wu’s heir Zheng Min visited the borderlands to console the troops and investigate the embezzlement of military funds, laying the foundation for his future reputation as a beloved and wise leader in the army…”

“Tch, Sui Ziming just dies like that?” The boy bit down on his spoon, utterly speechless. “The story spent so much ink introducing this side character early on—noble birth, son of a great general—and I thought he’d at least make it to the end. Nope, that’s it?”

“What a lame way to go. Ridiculous.”

The boy slurped some watermelon juice and grumbled in dissatisfaction.

“It’s obviously a power struggle between the Emperor and Prince Wu, both pulling in allies and needing cash everywhere, so they both dip into the military funds. One thinks he’s only skimmed a little, the other figures he didn’t take much either. Boom—together they’ve siphoned off more than half the budget.”

“If word gets out, it’ll be a laughingstock for the whole empire. Everyone will think this rotten court is doomed.”

“If Pei Du hadn’t shelled out his own money—and with all his talented subordinates and good reputation getting merchants to pitch in—the hole probably couldn’t have been filled.”

The boy grew more incensed as he spoke, jabbing his spoon hard into the watermelon.

“So Pei Du racks his brains and pours his heart into sustaining the Canlang Army for over three years, and in the end, all the credit and the army go to Long Aotian?”

“Stealing peaches like that—he’s not afraid of throwing his back out!”

“The author is just nerfing the antagonist on purpose to hand goodies to the Long Aotian male lead.”

“Shameless!!”

…

The boy in the dream ranted on in frustration, and Shen Jiujiu fumed right along with him, shadowboxing the air with a flurry of tiny bird punches.

When he finally blinked his eyes open, he realized he’d somehow ended up sprawled across Pei Du’s nose bridge.

His little bird claws were planted squarely on Pei Du’s face, and from all his fidgety kicking, visible red marks now marred the man’s otherwise flawless, jade-like features.

It wasn’t hard to imagine whose body Shen Jiujiu’s flurry of little bird punches from his dream had landed on.

No matter how deeply Pei Du slept, he was jolted awake by the little bird’s sudden face-hug, followed by a relentless barrage of rapid kicks.

Shen Jiujiu could even feel Pei Du hold his breath before drawing a deep one, the warm puffs of air clear against the soft fur of his bird belly.

The little bird struggled to stand tall on his claws, thoughtfully hiking up his tail feathers to keep his belly fluff out of Pei Du’s nostrils.

But this tail-first, head-last maneuver turned the bird who had been clinging to Pei Du’s nose bridge into a downright brazen face-stander—kicking noses and climbing faces with impunity.

Shen Jiujiu slowly lowered his tail feathers, releasing his claws and wings all at once. He tumbled round and smooth off Pei Du’s face, landing on the quilt.

“…Cheep.”

Under Pei Du’s calm gaze, Shen Jiujiu swallowed hard. He gingerly retracted his little bird claws and huddled into a trembling ball, tucking his head completely out of sight.

The bird really hadn’t meant to do it.

Waa.