Chapter 62: “Who Could Be More Experienced Than You?”

The Spring Festival Gala on the TV was playing a song and dance number. Several stars, dressed in festive red, sang and danced with lively flair.

From somewhere outside the balcony came the distant sound of fireworks.

The whole world was wrapped in the atmosphere of the new year, except for the living room containing just the two of them, which had fallen into a delicate and ambiguous stillness.

The cherry pit in his palm was damp, its touch warm. Kong Ji pressed it with his fingertip, recalling how this pit had flickered in and out of Tong Xilin’s mouth, how he had lowered his eyes and spat it into his palm. Every frame seemed to hold an afterimage.

A nimble tongue.

He used his nail to press down on the top of the pit, slowly pinching in.

According to Tong Xilin’s thinking, being directly called out for having a reaction like that should be embarrassing for a man.

At his age, it certainly would be. No different from having his pants pulled down in public.

Yet Kong Ji’s reaction was too calm.

Clearly, just moments ago, he had been laughing at Tong Xilin for having no filter, putting everything out on the table. Now, being exposed so bluntly by Tong Xilin, he actually seemed even more at ease.

Even speaking these words made Tong Xilin’s face feel tight, his heart thumping with an unprecedented novelty and thrill as he darted his eyes towards Kong Ji’s body.

“Can you see clearly?”

Kong Ji suddenly opened his mouth to ask, startling Tong Xilin.

He quickly raised his eyes, confirming Kong Ji was indeed asking about that area, his brain buzzing with a jolt.

“You can pull aside the clothes and look.” Kong Ji tugged a tissue to wipe his palm clean, wrapped the cherry pit, and threw it in the trash. Then he pulled at his own sweater, leaning slightly towards Tong Xilin. “It’ll be more direct than feeling it with your foot.”

Tong Xilin’s ear went numb. He instinctively leaned back.

Kong Ji didn’t let him dodge at all. He slipped an arm behind Tong Xilin’s waist, easier than picking an apple, directly pulling him into his embrace. He even cupped Tong Xilin’s back with his palm, his fingers pressing right on the slender, prominent shoulder blade.

“Curious?” He asked right by Tong Xilin’s ear, using a breathy voice.

“…What?” Tong Xilin’s entire back went numb, his neck stiff as he feigned composure.

“The picture in your mind.” Kong Ji lightly took his earlobe between his lips, his voice slightly hoarse. “A man. Me.”

These three phrases, each pointing more clearly than the last. With every phrase Kong Ji spoke, the fingers pressing on Tong Xilin’s back traced upwards along his shoulder blade.

Speaking that final “Me,” he pinched the back of Tong Xilin’s neck again.

This neck-pinch felt different from all the previous times. Tong Xilin’s carotid artery was genuinely pressed, imagery flooding his mind. The sensation that had just briefly touched his foot became vivid enough to make his toes curl.

“I didn’t…” He meant to say something, but his mouth had just opened and closed when Kong Ji cut him off again by pressing against his lips.

It really was pressing.

Neither deepening nor withdrawing, even that ambiguous, barely-there distance from when making dumplings was gone. The friction of lip lines brought a subtle itch. Tong Xilin felt that addictive numbing sensation again, and he couldn’t help wanting to press closer, to make this slow, shallow kiss deepen and thicken. But Kong Ji avoided him mercilessly, keeping it only shallowly pressed together.

Avoidance aside, Kong Ji was still amused by Tong Xilin’s instinctive reaction.

“You’ve been asking questions all night. Shouldn’t I get to ask you a few?” He held Tong Xilin steady in his arms, asking with a light laugh, “What level has your ‘liking’ reached? What do you want me to do to you?”

“Or rather, what have you imagined me doing?”

Kong Ji wasn’t scaring a kid. When it really came to chatting about these things, ten Tong Xilins couldn’t get the upper hand on him.

He didn’t even need to make the words explicit. Just a simple mention like this was enough to make Tong Xilin’s face flush red.

But despite the blush, Tong Xilin answered seriously.

He shook his head very properly, saying, “Never thought about it.”

That wasn’t a lie.

Tong Xilin realized Kong Ji’s orientation precisely because he brought men home.

At that time, Tong Xilin just imagined what this uncle might be doing with some other man, annoyed enough without even thinking about himself in that context.

Later, when he realized his feelings for Kong Ji had changed, he simultaneously guessed the relationship between Kong Ji and Tong Yuzhi.

That was even more painful.

An adored uncle and his biological father — just associating the two of them was enough to make Tong Xilin dizzy. After discovering he was a substitute for Tong Yuzhi, Tong Xilin was left with only the thought of running away. It was impossible to think about those things.

Recalling all this now, Tong Xilin was stirred up again.

He propped himself up on the sofa, bracing on Kong Ji’s shoulder to kneel up. Their angles reversed. Tong Xilin looked down, gazing at Kong Ji’s eyes from above.

“I’ve only ever thought about you with others, Uncle.” He took the initiative to press his forehead to Kong Ji’s. “Who could be more experienced than you?”

This sarcasm was so drippingly sour. Tong Xilin deliberately used a flat tone, but it still couldn’t hide that strong whiff of jealousy.

Hearing it, Kong Ji felt his heart soften in ripples. Unable to help laughing, the arm around Tong Xilin’s waist tightened. His nose brushed against Tong Xilin’s collarbone, burying his face into the chest before him.

The feeling of the embrace was wonderful.

Almost addictive, like kissing.

But Tong Xilin was very principled — he being clingy was fine, but Kong Ji acting this ambiguous? That wouldn’t do.

“We’re not in that kind of intimate relationship, Uncle.”

He pulled back out of Kong Ji’s arms, settling back onto the sofa. He grabbed a throw pillow and placed it over his stomach, steadying his breath, then pulled the fruit plate back to continue eating.

This cover was purely an attempt at concealment. Just moments ago, he had been in Kong Ji’s arms; any physical change had been sensed clearly.

But Kong Ji didn’t expose him. Placing the tissue box on the coffee table within easy reach for Tong Xilin to wipe his hands and spit out pits, he asked, “No more questions today?”

Tong Xilin nodded. “None for now.”

Seeing Kong Ji stand to leave, he immediately asked, “Where are you going, Uncle?”

Kong Ji was going to continue washing the pots and dishes.

This Spring Festival, he had been busy in the kitchen all day long. Someone unskilled cooking was a complete disaster. Pots, pans, bowls, plates piled up like a mountain; the dishwasher couldn’t even fit it all. He had only cleaned half before being tricked over by Tong Xilin faking leg pain.

“Clean up the kitchen.” He walked around from behind the sofa, pressing down on Tong Xilin’s head. “Stop letting your imagination run wild. It’s not to the point of being unbearable.”

His thoughts read again, Tong Xilin withdrew his gaze from between Kong Ji’s legs and continued staring at the TV.

The Spring Festival Gala was truly unwatchable. With Kong Ji sitting beside him, Tong Xilin couldn’t focus; now that no one was there, listening to the sounds from the kitchen, he felt even less able to concentrate.

His phone buzzed a few times in the sofa crevice. It was a message from Zhou Qi, asking when he was free to hang out.

Tong Xilin chatted idly with him, and conveniently checked the dorm group chat.

His red envelopes still hadn’t all been claimed. Qi Yuan and Pang Xiaoda’s were the same. Qin Ji hadn’t shown up in the group all day to join them in the red envelope game.

Same with the department-wide group. The red envelope rain activity was still ongoing. Someone specifically @’d Qin Ji, calling for the Class Monitor to send out red envelopes. Qin Ji hadn’t appeared.

Tong Xilin exchanged two red envelopes with Zhou Qi, locked his phone screen, and his thoughts drifted back to Kong Ji.

He and Qin Ji were probably similar in terms of original family — each with their own misfortunes.

But comparatively, maybe he was somewhat luckier.

At least, in terms of the most practical issue, money, he met Kong Ji. And beyond money, in many aspects, Kong Ji used his methods and guidance to firmly hold Tong Xilin up.

Matters concerning money couldn’t be dwelled on. Thinking carefully made it feel too starkly realistic.

Tong Xilin’s heart was chaotic again. He opened his mouth and called for his uncle.

“What is it?” Kong Ji came over and asked.

Tong Xilin tilted his head up and watched him for a moment, then handed over the fruit plate. “Had enough.”

“You’re just lazy.” Kong Ji hooked a finger under his chin.

As usual, the Gala ended with “Unforgettable Tonight.” At midnight, the sound of fireworks briefly linked into a continuous wave. Tong Xilin found it pleasant, very festive, so he ran over to the balcony to watch.

Many homes in the compound still had lights on. Twinkling fireworks lit up the distant horizon. A thick layer of snow lay on the ground, making even the dark night seem somewhat bright.

Kong Ji stood beside him looking out, lighting a cigarette and leaning his hand on the windowsill.

This probably counted as the warmest year yet.

Tong Xilin looked at him and thought.

The warmest year since he was little.

“Uncle.” He nudged Kong Ji’s arm. “Happy New Year.”

“Are you happy?” Kong Ji asked him back.

“Decently so.” Tong Xilin nodded, admitting. “Happier this year than before.”

“Mhm.” Kong Ji ruffled his hair, a gentle smile appearing. “Happy New Year.”

Dumplings eaten, Gala watched, wishes exchanged. According to normal procedure and schedule, Tong Xilin should now bid Kong Ji goodnight, then return to his bedroom and burrow under the covers to sleep.

But he stood rooted to the spot until Kong Ji finished the cigarette in his hand, neither opening his mouth nor moving his legs.

Kong Ji stubbed out the cigarette in the ashtray, turned his head and noticed Tong Xilin’s gaze. He raised an eyebrow and asked, “Still not sleepy?”

“Are you sleepy, Uncle?” Tong Xilin immediately threw the question back.

“Sleepy or not, it’s time for you to sleep.” Kong Ji flicked his face. A faint scent of tobacco lingered on his fingers.

He withdrew his hand, preparing to head towards the living room. Tong Xilin followed behind like a tail. Kong Ji went to empty the ashtray, Tong Xilin also threw away a tissue. Kong Ji went to wash his hands and drink water, Tong Xilin opened a bottle too. Kong Ji turned off the lights and walked towards the master bedroom. Tong Xilin stopped at his bedroom door.

“Why not follow anymore?” Kong Ji didn’t even bother hiding the curve of his lips, leaning against the doorframe, looking at Tong Xilin. “Now I’m going to wash up. Want to come in together?”

Kong Ji’s master bedroom had a private bathroom, very spacious. Tong Xilin had never used it but knew about it.

Kong Ji’s bedroom and bed were also very spacious.

“Uncle.”

Tong Xilin couldn’t lie to himself. Today, he wanted to cling to Kong Ji. After deciding to fully express himself, some switch seemed to have been truly turned on.

But he didn’t say it directly. He took a step forward and asked Kong Ji, “Do you want to sleep with me?”