Lu Qingyuan shaped a heart-shaped bun. Instead of filling it with meat, he put in a few spoonfuls of custard filling.
Auntie asked curiously, “Why are you only making one like that? If you like this shape, I’ll make more with you.”
Lu Qingyuan lowered his head and smiled, said “Okay,” and then simply turned the remaining dough into hearts, letting Auntie add the filling.
Chen Annan finished replying to his messages and came back to help wrap buns. But Auntie wouldn’t let him wrap anymore because his buns all came apart, the “belly buttons” oozing filling everywhere, unable to be put in the steamer.
Chen Annan said pitifully, “I’m the most useless one in the family.”
Seeing his poor little pitiful look, Auntie laughed so wide her dark yellow gums showed. “My darling, you help Auntie roll the dough.”
Chen Annan sweetly said “Okay,” picked up the rolling pin, and flattened the dough into round pancakes. As he busied himself, he hummed a tune—the song “Peach Blossoms Blooming,” which lately was playing in every street and alley.
Hearing the sound, Lu Qingyuan’s eyes behind his glasses crinkled with a smile.
In the kitchen, a wisp of soft white smoke drifted from the steamer, curling lazily into the clear winter sky.
Come to think of it, this was the first time in Lu Qingyuan’s life that he was spending the New Year in the countryside.
The festive atmosphere here seemed much stronger than in the city. Although Nanjing had lifted the fireworks ban as early as 2004, whenever they wanted to set off firecrackers, they still had to drive to a distant suburb. It was very inconvenient.
Unlike the quiet New Year in the city, in the countryside, as Little New Year approached, the sound of firecrackers could go off from day until night, crackling and booming into a lively chaos. Cotton Candy had never seen such a scene before; it hid under the bed and refused to come out. Chen Annan was also kept awake by the explosive sounds of the firecrackers, climbing out from the quilt early.
During the days of sweeping away the old and welcoming the new, many people visited. The entrance of the small courtyard was littered with peanut and sunflower seed shells, mixed in with the scraps of firecracker paper.
After breakfast, Lu Wenyuan called Chen Annan to go with him to visit his parents’ graves.
The little cub would be eighteen after the New Year; it was only right that he should go see them.
Chen Annan’s parents’ graves still stood in the fields behind the house. The color on the headstones had faded from their original vibrancy under the wash of the seasons. Even the earthen mounds had become very small.
In recent years, most people had started burying their deceased loved ones in dedicated cemeteries, choosing a tomb with good feng shui to comfort the living. The headstones in the fields were decreasing every year.
Only these two headstones, every year, were submerged in a sea of gold as the wheat ripened, then revealed their dark, unadorned forms again when the time came.
“The little cub is eighteen this year. An adult now. When I took him away, he was still a little tyke. In the blink of an eye, he’s this big. Isn’t it amazing?” Using a calligraphy brush, Lu Wenyuan traced the names on the tombstone black again, boasting, “Nannan is really amazing now. In our house, that big cabinet? It’s full to the brim with awards he’s won. Can’t even fit them all.”
Time was like sand slipping through the fingers. In a blink, fourteen years had passed.
Fourteen years—even the best of times would feel like a long duration.
Lu Wenyuan proudly jutted his chin towards the tombstone. “I raised this son of yours pretty well, didn’t I?”
After saying this, he corrected himself, “No, he’s my son now. I’ve raised him all these years, surely I get to claim a little benefit?”
As he spoke, he shifted aside, letting Lu Qingyuan and Chen Annan come into view. “Look, this is our family’s big cub, and this is our little cub. Both are doing well for themselves. You two rest easy, don’t worry. When the Gaokao is over this year, I’ll send them both off to Beijing to study.”
Lu Wenyuan tossed spirit money into the fire. “When the time comes, I’ll sort you two out as well. Staying in one place all the time must be stifling, right? Let’s move somewhere else and live a good life over there.”
After finishing, he beckoned to Chen Annan. “Come, little cub. Spend some time talking with your Mom and Dad.”
Chen Annan obeyed. While burning the paper money, he chattered on, telling the tombstones about his life in bits and pieces. They were all happy things. He said Uncle treated him very well. He said he wanted to go take the exam for Beijing with his Brother. He also said he wanted to release an album like his idol one day, because Auntie said he was very talented.
The winter wind was cold, filling his lungs with a chill. Chen Annan talked until his mouth felt a bit numb.
“Old Chen, although I never met you, you and Uncle were very close friends. You must have been a very good father too. I’ll always love you, just like I love Mom.”
As his words fell, Chen Annan threw the last stack of spirit money into the fire.
The flames swiftly consumed the paper along its edges, and the wind teased the firelight, reflecting red onto his face.
In the open field, the smell of burning straw drifted away with the wind, carrying off an ash.
The ash drifted down before a small courtyard. Fluffy Dog barked, running back and forth spiritedly on the dirt path with another family’s dog.
On New Year’s Eve, the bowls and chopsticks on the big round table hadn’t been cleared yet, silently bursting with a lively chaos.
Lu Wenyuan, Auntie, and Uncle sat in front of the TV watching the Spring Festival Gala. Lu Qingyuan held Cotton Candy, listening to the hosts’ steady, measured voices. When he casually glanced back, he suddenly noticed Chen Annan was gone.
At that moment, Chen Annan was sitting on the rooftop platform, looking up at the night sky.
Not far from his line of sight, someone was setting off fireworks. Cluster after cluster of colorful blooms shot into the clouds and scattered, brilliantly illuminating the pitch-black sky.
The Little New Year in the village was truly lively. Every household was wrapped in the din. The air was thick with the acrid smell of saltpeter. The road was unkempt; scattered bits of red were trampled into the soil by passersby, looking messy.
Chen Annan propped his hands behind him, his legs dangling in the air, swaying slightly.
Suddenly, a sound stirred behind him. He didn’t look back, knowing who it was.
The shadow slowly drew near. Lu Qingyuan moved the air-drying vegetables aside and sat down next to Chen Annan on the edge of the platform. To his left was a small radio, borrowed from Uncle.
“I’ll generously let you lean on me for a bit,” he said.
“What, you’re afraid I’d feel sad?” Chen Annan smiled, his eyes curving into crescents. “I’m not sad at all. Not one bit sad. Actually, I’m very happy. Really.”
Lu Qingyuan listened quietly.
The light from the tungsten bulb downstairs barely reached here. Chen Annan swung his legs. “If Mom and Dad see me happy, they’ll be happy for me too. If they see me sad, they’ll definitely be sad too. So I have to be happy.”
“Little Lu, you have to be happy too. We all have to be well. Later, when I tell Dad and Mom about us, they’ll definitely be happy that someone treats me so well.”
Lu Qingyuan didn’t speak. He placed his hand over the back of Chen Annan’s, holding it. A wave of tenderness melted through his heart.
Neither of them spoke again. Chen Annan played with his Brother’s fingers.
The side of Lu Qingyuan’s right finger was thickly calloused, the bone slightly deformed—all marks left from years of writing. Chen Annan pinched and rubbed them. Lu Qingyuan gently stroked the back of his hand with his index finger.
Fireworks continuously blossomed. The lively noise of the Spring Festival Gala from downstairs seemed to carry all the way up here.
“Let’s watch the Spring Festival Gala here for a while too,” Lu Qingyuan suddenly said.
“How can we watch it here?” Chen Annan asked.
“My choice of words was imprecise. It should be ‘listen to’,” Lu Qingyuan said. As he spoke, he placed the small radio on his lap and turned it on. A burst of static crackled forth. He fiddled with the antenna, extending and angling it, searching for a signal.
Then he tuned into a station.
A voice slowly came through the broadcast: “Welcome, listeners, to FM 89.7. Hello, I’m your host… Today is a very special day…”
It was actually Jiangsu Music Radio.
In this day and age, almost every household had a color TV. Not many people listened to the radio anymore.
Chen Annan was amused by this unknown side of his Brother. “You actually listen to this?”
“Yeah. When you first competed, only this station had your replay, so I listened to it then,” Lu Qingyuan said.
Catching the replay of Chen Annan had been an accident. Later, it became a habit. During his senior year of high school, his greatest comfort during evening self-study was putting on his earphones, turning on the phone’s radio function, and listening to this station.
The radio wasn’t as clear as a phone. The crackle of the broadcast current occasionally sounded, blurring the host’s voice. Lu Qingyuan tapped it, and the sound quickly returned to normal.
“It is now Beijing time, eleven fifty-nine, one minute away from the year 2012. On this New Year’s Eve where families gather together, I am deeply honored to count down to the New Year with all the listeners and friends in front of their radios… Alright, let’s do the New Year countdown together. 10, 9, 8… 5, 4, 3, 2, 1—”
“2012! Happy New Year—!”
Accompanied by the host’s spirited shout, another cluster of fireworks burst high, clearly reflecting the numerals “2012” in the sky.
One cluster after another, the fireworks exploded in succession—on the horizon, in front of their eyes—bathing Chen Annan’s face in a brilliant, multicolored glow. Lu Qingyuan gazed at his profile and lowered his head. He nuzzled the top of his head with his nose, his tone gentle. “Happy New Year, Cub.”
Chen Annan’s nose was filled with his Brother’s scent. He leaned against Lu Qingyuan’s shoulder and said softly, “Happy New Year, Brother.”
Happy New Year, Mom and Dad. He said it in his heart.
I’m very happy. Truly, very happy…
The night wind howled, sweeping over from the fields in lingering gusts, pulling the small patch of skin at the corners of his eyes tight.
On the radio, the host’s voice continued: “Today is the first day of the new year. Let’s see what our first listener connection is. Hmm… it’s actually a multimedia message. Let’s hear what this listener’s New Year’s wish is.”
“This is a submission from a netizen named ‘L’. He hopes someone can listen to his story. The message says he and his lover have known each other since childhood and grew up together. This is a story about growing up.
…
Hmm? This netizen is actually homosexual. Haha, this is the first time our station has received such a submission. Lastly, let us wish these two happy people a long and lasting relationship. May they not be troubled by worldly perspectives, and may they bravely continue forward…
“Next, is a song he dedicated to his lover. From the Taiwanese pop-rock band Sodagreen, ‘Little Love Song’…”
