Chapter 31 Part 1
Upon hearing this, Zhao Li’s pale face flushed with a coquettish shyness. “Jiang Jiang, you’ve already thought about having children with me?”
Then why did he run away earlier? Playing hard to get?
Zhao Li asked expectantly, “So, tell me, do you want a son or a daughter?”
Guo Jiang paused for a second, then said, “If possible, I’d like a human child.”
As if understanding Guo Jiang’s hint, Zhao Li’s pupils dilated, turning darker, her Yin qi surging.
Guo Jiang immediately dropped to his knees. “I was wrong, Li Li, let’s do the checkup first.”
Zhao Li looked at Wu Heng sullenly. This doctor looked so young! But as a malicious ghost, she didn’t question his medical skills like the living would. After all, although he looked young, who knew when he died? He might have been practicing for years in the afterlife.
“Don’t they say no one wants to get married anymore? Why mandatory premarital checkups? I never heard of this before tonight,” Zhao Li complained, looking at Wu Heng suspiciously.
The newly appointed Ghost Marriage Premarital Checkup Doctor Wu Heng patiently explained the new policy to his patient. “Yes, premarital checkups aren’t mandatory in the human world anymore because fewer people are getting married and having children. Reincarnation slots are highly sought after, and there are too many spirits lingering in the underworld. When basic needs are met, thoughts turn to desires. Naturally, more ghosts want to get married in the underworld, right? With so many wanting to get married, we need premarital checkups to select the best candidates.”
“Sister, doesn’t that make sense?”
Completely taken in by Wu Heng’s smooth talk, Zhao Li nodded, slightly dazed. “You’re right, I’ll cooperate with the government.”
The two “newlyweds” sat side by side at Wu Heng’s long table, obediently filling out their personal information on the examination forms.
Guo Jiang, born after 2000, peeked at his girlfriend’s information, his eyes widening at her birth year: 1971. She could be friends with his mother.
Zhao Li looked slightly embarrassed. “What do you know? A wife three years older brings prosperity, a wife thirty years older… brings a mountain of gold!”
Besides, she was a young, vibrant woman when she died.
Wu Heng patted the table, giving Guo Jiang a lecture. “Comrade Guo, your thinking is wrong. Age is not a problem, neither is gender.”
Zhao Li, now fully convinced of Wu Heng’s official status as an underworld doctor, nodded repeatedly. “Exactly!”
“Doctor Wu, where do we queue up for the checkup? Where’s the hospital?”
Wu Heng coughed. “No need, just extend your hands, and I’ll take your pulses. No need to waste time running around different departments, delaying your marriage registration.”
Zhao Li, holding the examination form, looked at Wu Heng incredulously. “Is the underworld government… that broke?”
Thinking of the mountains of useless joss paper in the underworld, she figured the government’s financial situation was indeed dire.
So the government had tightened their belts for the sake of their eugenic program!
The two extended their arms, man on the left, woman on the right, and Wu Heng took their pulses simultaneously.
Guo Jiang wanted to cry. He was actually having a premarital checkup with Doctor Wu Heng, it was just a bit beyond his expectations.
Guo Jiang was indeed in good physical condition, his organs averaging 80% functionality, his heart even 90%. Nowadays, students were burdened with heavy workloads, and young workers were overworked, their health deteriorating. Guo Jiang was definitely above average among his peers.
And Zhao Li, by underworld standards, was also excellent, after all, she was a malicious ghost.
Wu Heng filled out the examination forms meticulously.
This was indeed much faster and more convenient than running around different hospital departments.
Zhao Li, after reviewing both forms, said happily, “All indicators are normal, so can we go to the City God Temple and register our marriage with these medical certificates?”
Guo Jiang’s face paled, looking at Wu Heng anxiously.
This wasn’t how the script was supposed to go!
Wu Heng placed his slender hand firmly on the two forms. “Sorry, you failed the premarital checkup.”
Zhao Li froze, while Guo Jiang almost cried tears of joy. Yes, yes, yes, this was how it was supposed to go!
If he was forced into a ghost marriage, who knew what kind of offspring they would have, human, ghost, or something in between?
Zhao Li was enraged. “Nonsense! All our indicators are normal, why did we fail? You quack!”
Her long red nails grew several times longer as she released her Yin qi menacingly towards Wu Heng. “Do you even have a license for premarital checkups? Show it to me, or I’ll report you!”
Wu Heng said, “It’s common sense that close relatives can’t get married.”
“What?”
“Huh?”
Both Guo Jiang and Zhao Li were stunned, staring at Wu Heng blankly.
This plot twist was unexpected. But Wu Heng’s expression didn’t look like he was making things up, could it be true?
Wu Heng said with an amused expression, “Marriage within three generations is prohibited. You two are close relatives, you can’t get married anywhere, on earth or in the underworld.”
Wu Heng continued, smiling, “Comrade Guo, didn’t your grandfather have a previous wife?”
Guo Jiang didn’t know much about his grandfather’s generation, only vaguely remembering hearing his parents mention it. “Seems like it, but I don’t know the details.”
“Your grandfather was an alcoholic and a gambler. He would beat his wife when drunk, even during her pregnancy. His ex-wife ran away after giving birth to your father, before even finishing her postpartum confinement. Later, she remarried and had a daughter.”
“The girl grew up well, but her family fell into poverty after she finished high school. Hearing about the booming development in the coastal areas, she decided to go work in another province. But on her way there, she encountered a heavy rainstorm and died in a car accident.”
Zhao Li stared at Wu Heng, speechless.
He was talking… about her.
She died on her way to another province for work. That night, during a heavy downpour, the car overturned and fell into a ditch. Then she died.
Wu Heng was spot on.
Guo Jiang’s mind went numb as he pieced things together. “So, so Li Li is my… aunt?”
If this happened during a premarital checkup in the human world, his world would crumble. Now, with the added ghost marriage element, why was finding true love so difficult?
Zhao Li was even more shocked, exclaiming, “How is this possible?! Guo Jiang and I are attracted to each other because of love!”
Wu Heng touched his chin. “Aunt-nephew love is still love, right? Nothing wrong with that.”
Zhao Li was struck dumb: “…”
Damn it!
Her beautiful love had inexplicably become a familial relationship.
Zhao Li wailed, sobbing uncontrollably, “No, I can’t accept this! I can’t accept it at all! How can this be?! What stupid mandatory premarital checkup?! Why introduce this policy now, of all times? You’re all bullying me! The underworld is unfair, I refuse to accept this!”
She was indeed a delicate beauty, her crying summoning a gust of Yin wind, tears streaming down her face, a picture of misery.
Guo Jiang felt heartbroken seeing Zhao Li cry like that. Just yesterday, she was his soon-to-be wife. How could he bear to make her cry like this? Now, everything was a mess, and he had inexplicably gained an aunt who had died younger than he was now.
As Guo Jiang was wallowing in his misery, Zhao Li looked at him with reluctance, bit her lip resolutely, and said to Wu Heng, “Then, then I’ll introduce another female ghost to Jiang Jiang, she can do the checkup immediately and then we’ll register their marriage, how about that?”
Guo Jiang: “…”
Seriously, Auntie, why were you so insistent on him getting a ghost marriage?
Wu Heng asked curiously, “Do you have a candidate in mind?”
Zhao Li said nonchalantly, “No, but the gates of hell are closing in half an hour, I’ll just grab a good-looking one on my way back.”
Truly something a malicious ghost would say.
Zhao Li then asked Guo Jiang, “Jiang Jiang, do you have any preference for how your ghost wife should have died?”
Guo Jiang: “…” Did he dare to have any?
Wu Heng’s face turned serious as he warned the malicious ghost, “Absurd! Please respect the freedom of marriage! No arranged marriages!”
Upon hearing “arranged marriage,” Zhao Li started crying again. She and Guo Jiang were clearly a couple, how did this become her arranging a marriage for him? Heaven was unfair!
Guo Jiang couldn’t help but ask, “Auntie… Li Li, my dear Li Li, why are you so insistent on me getting a ghost marriage?”
And so desperate that she was about to grab any random ghost for him.
In his memories, Zhao Li was delicate and possessive. She would even get jealous when he taught female clients at the gym.
Zhao Li remained silent, her head lowered, and Guo Jiang could only look at Wu Heng pleadingly.
Wu Heng looked at Guo Jiang thoughtfully. “Your organs are being targeted.”
Zhao Li had a happy life, loved by her parents, even if she died in a car accident, she should have reincarnated normally, but she became a malicious ghost instead. How could this be without external influence?
Guo Jiang was confused, not understanding what “organs being targeted” meant.
Wu Heng paused, then explained simply, “Someone wants your organs, and your aunt, afraid that something would happen to you, wanted to marry you to protect you.”
Zhao Li sniffled, finally confessing, “I approached Guo Jiang initially because someone instructed me to, they wanted his organs, but then I truly fell for him. I don’t want Jiang Jiang to get hurt.”
“If he marries a malicious ghost, his soul will be marked, no longer an ordinary soul, then they can’t touch him, it would be too troublesome.”
Wu Heng nodded. “Because you’ve been together for a while, Guo Jiang carries your Yin qi. And the deity at that abandoned City God Temple is weak, so it might mistake both of you for spirits and issue you a ghost marriage certificate.”
“But you didn’t consider that a marriage between a human and a ghost wouldn’t be beneficial to Guo Jiang.”
Zhao Li covered her face and cried again. Wu Heng was right about everything.
The underworld was indeed poor and unfair, such a capable and handsome ghost was assigned to be a premarital checkup doctor for ghost marriages, not even a proper Yin messenger.
Guo Jiang, shocked, felt a chill run down his spine. No wonder! No wonder Wu Heng said his organs were 80% new and in excellent condition during their consultation. Someone was after them!
Guo Jiang was furious. “Organ harvesting, that’s illegal!”
Wu Heng chuckled. The underworld didn’t have as many laws and regulations as the human world. With the increasing number of strange illnesses in this world, someone must have had some malicious ideas.
Wu Heng said, “Just like that graduate student who had that taken, the organs of the living appear normal on the surface.”
A chill ran down Guo Jiang’s spine. He understood what Wu Heng meant. If his soul had its organs harvested, his physical body wouldn’t show any signs, but his health would gradually deteriorate, and hospitals wouldn’t be able to diagnose the cause. He would simply wither away and die.
Guo Jiang turned to look at the crying Zhao Li, his heart aching. He had thought she was just a ghost trying to trick him into a marriage, that everything was a pretense to lure him to his death. But… Li Li was actually trying to save him.
Damn it, his sweet love was gone, his girlfriend was gone.
