Chapter 33
The seven-day holiday was enough time for Shao Sui to teach Mimi many things.
Of course, Mimi wasn’t always cooperative.
“Open your mouth.”
Mimi instinctively wanted to run, but was cornered by the relentless Shao Sui, who forcefully pried open his mouth and shoved a bristly thing inside.
This thing was called a toothbrush. Humans had an intimate encounter with it every day. And in Shao Sui and Mimi’s home, it was at least twice a day, sometimes even after every meal.
“Relax.”
“Lift your head.”
The cat wasn’t as obedient at home as he was outside, especially after sharing a bed with Shao Sui. Mimi felt his human status had risen and started to act boldly.
“N-no brushing!”
The bristles tickled his gums, and the astringent taste of the toothpaste was hard to swallow.
“It’s not for eating.” Shao Sui held Mimi’s chin. “Keep your mouth open, wider.”
Mimi shrank back against the wall, mumbling, “I don’t want to be human anymore!”
Shao Sui chuckled, “Even cats have to brush their teeth.”
Mimi grumbled a few protests, which Shao Sui ignored, continuing his task.
“Just a little longer.”
“Stick out your tongue.”
“Almost done.”
Human Mimi’s tongue didn’t have barbs, and because he hadn’t eaten any junk food or stayed up late, his tongue was healthy and pink.
“Okay, spit it out.” Shao Sui poured a cup of mouthwash. “Take a sip, don’t swallow.”
Mimi glanced at the locked door, then took a sip and obediently opened his mouth, letting Shao Sui brush his teeth again.
“Did you learn?”
“Yes…”
Shao Sui was a good teacher, but Mimi wasn’t exactly a good student. Whenever Shao Sui wasn’t watching, he would do a sloppy job brushing his teeth.
Until Shao Sui threatened to withhold kisses, Mimi finally became more diligent.
Brushing teeth and showering were basic life skills. The more challenging lessons were yet to come.
“This is the stove, used for cooking. You don’t need to learn how to use it, and don’t touch it, improper use can lead to dangerous accidents, understand?”
Mimi, although a curious kitten, valued his life.
Whenever Shao Sui said something could kill him, he would immediately obey.
“This is the kitchen smoke alarm. If it beeps, immediately open the windows for ventilation, don’t touch any electrical switches, and run downstairs as quickly as possible to ask the security guard to call the fire department.”
“This is a fire blanket, usually kept in the cabinet at the entrance. If there’s a fire, and it’s not too big, immediately go to the entrance and turn off the main power switch… this button here.”
Click.
Shao Sui demonstrated, “See, all the lights are off now?”
Mimi exclaimed, “So magical!”
“After turning off the power, quickly take out the fire blanket and cover the fire with this side. If the fire is too big, also leave immediately and go downstairs to find the security guard, remember?”
“Yes!”
“This thing is called a power outlet. Never go near it if there’s spilled water, and don’t stick anything other than plugs into it, not even your cat paws.”
Mimi’s voice gradually softened, “How did you know I poked it when I was a cat…”
Shao Sui: “…”
Mimi’s confession earned him five swats on his backside with the ruler.
This wasn’t a minor mistake. Shao Sui’s punishment was severe, Mimi felt his butt was on fire, and he threw himself into Shao Sui’s arms, yelling, “I’m not kissing you today!”
The Great Meow King kept his word, not kissing his human all day.
The human felt his lips were a bit… lonely.
“This is a fire escape rope, I’ll show you how to use it, you have to remember.” Shao Sui half-knelt in front of Mimi and demonstrated. “Like wearing shorts, put your legs through, buckle it, this end can be secured to the hallway railing or the bedpost, and escape through the nearest window.”
“But didn’t you say to run downstairs?”
“That’s if the fire starts in our apartment.” Shao Sui explained, “If there’s a big fire in the building, and we don’t know where it started, the stairs might not be safe.”
Shao Sui also found some instructional videos and asked Mimi to watch each one five times.
These were safety-related matters, he couldn’t be careless.
Shao Sui spent seven days teaching Mimi all the safety knowledge he could think of, exhausting himself both mentally and physically.
“I haven’t angered you for two days.”
Mimi judged Shao Sui’s anger based on whether he was punished. Two days without punishment meant Shao Sui hadn’t been angry for two days.
“So?”
“I’m sleeping on you tonight!”
Cats were creatures of escalating demands, and cat spirits were no different. Once they realized they were favored, they would become tyrannical—
Shao Sui wholeheartedly agreed.
Initially, Mimi would add polite suffixes like “okay?” or “can I?” when asking for something. Now he simply issued commands.
On the seventh day of having the privilege of sleeping in the bed, he wanted to sleep on top of him.
Shao Sui said, “Transform back into a cat, and I’ll agree.”
Mimi accused, “You only love him, not me!”
Shao Sui said perfunctorily, “Watch less TV.”
That night, unable to sleep under Mimi’s weight, Shao Sui stared at the ceiling, unsure how to tell Mimi he was no longer a six or seven-jin kitten, but a hundred-plus-jin young man.
And normally, a man wouldn’t lie on top of another man while sleeping.
“But male cats can lie on top of men.” Mimi’s logic was always sound. “I’m a cat, you’re a human, so it’s allowed.”
Shao Sui subtly sucked in his stomach, trying to avoid too much contact with Mimi.
Ten minutes later, Mimi asked with concern, “You’re going hunting tomorrow, why aren’t you asleep yet?”
Shao Sui, under immense pressure, negotiated, “How about this, I lie on top of you.”
Mimi immediately refused, “That won’t work, you’re so big, I’m so small, you’ll crush me.”
Shao Sui almost laughed in exasperation.
He covered his eyes with his arm, still unable to sleep. It wasn’t just because of Mimi’s weight, he was also anxious.
It had been a while since Mimi first transformed. Both the human’s and the cat spirit’s mentalities had changed.
Shao Sui no longer saw Mimi as just a cat, and Mimi was getting used to being human.
Being human meant responsibilities and obligations, and learning to avoid danger.
Shao Sui had to go back to work tomorrow. Had Mimi remembered all the safety knowledge he taught him? Was there anything he had missed?
Leaving a newly transformed, curious cat spirit alone at home was worrying.
“Shao Sui.”
“Hmm?”
Mimi, nestled against Shao Sui’s neck, sniffed and nuzzled him restlessly.
“I think Grandma isn’t very effective, let’s worship a different god.”
“Why?”
“Because many of my wishes haven’t come true, it’s been a long time.”
A cat spirit didn’t worship useless gods.
Shao Sui hadn’t stopped Mimi from offering incense to his mother. And because the surveillance camera’s audio quality wasn’t very good, and Mimi whispered his wishes, he even placed a voice recorder behind his mother’s portrait to check on the cat spirit’s little wishes every day.
Initially, the wishes were small, things Shao Sui could easily fulfill, but gradually, they became more outlandish.
For instance, yesterday, Mimi wished for Shao Sui to be hit on the head by ten million yuan while walking down the street, a new phone for himself, and a bigger house with a yard.
After his math lessons, Mimi gradually developed a concept of money, knowing a phone was expensive, so the thoughtful cat spirit no longer asked for it directly, instead hoping Shao Sui would suddenly become rich.
Didn’t Shao Sui also want to become rich? It’s just that he couldn’t. He could only pretend not to hear Mimi’s wish.
Mimi, determined, said, “Shao Sui, you should buy a lottery ticket.”
“Why?”
“Because everyone on TV wins a lot of money after buying lottery tickets! The math teacher hasn’t taught me how to do addition and subtraction with that many digits yet.”
Cheng Ke was right, raising a cat was easy, raising a human was difficult.
See, it hadn’t even been that long, and the little cat spirit had already learned to cut corners.
Shao Sui wanted to correct Mimi’s views on money: “You have to be down-to-earth, you can’t pin your hopes on such unrealistic things.”
Mimi said, “I can’t be down-to-earth, we’re on the seventh floor, castles in the air.” (A pun on the Chinese idiom for “castles in the air,” which literally translates to “buildings on the seventh floor.”)
Teacher Shao was almost persuaded.
Perhaps he should also give Mimi separate lessons on idiom comprehension.
Mimi, feeling his chin itch, rubbed it against Shao Sui’s stubble, “Shao Sui, don’t you want to win the lottery?”
Shao Sui choked.
Most people probably fantasized about winning the lottery, but if you truly pinned your hopes on it, you were no different from a gambling addict.
“The probability of winning the lottery is very low.” Teacher Shao said patiently. “Lower than the probability of you being hit on the head by a can of cat food while walking down the street.”
That was indeed very low.
Mimi finally gave up, “Okay…”
Shao Sui asked, “Why do you want me to be rich so badly?”
The kitten said haughtily, “I won’t tell you.”
“Tell me.” Shao Sui coaxed. “What if I can afford it even without winning the lottery?”
Mimi thought this made sense and said, “I want a phone.”
Shao Sui asked, “Why?”
Mimi’s reasoning was simple, “Because everyone has a phone, and since I’m human now, I should also have one.”
A phone wasn’t expensive, the cheapest ones cost only a few hundred yuan.
The reason Shao Sui didn’t want to buy Mimi one was partly because he had just become human, his values hadn’t been established yet, and he could easily be influenced by the chaotic online world.
And he had seen many students ruined by their phones. Adolescents had no self-control and easily became addicted. If Mimi became glued to his phone all day, completely ignoring him, his owner… tsk.
Mimi whispered, “And when you talk to me through the surveillance camera, I can reply immediately, but when I talk to you, it takes you a long time to reply.”
And on TV, everyone could talk to anyone instantly using their phones, very convenient.
Shao Sui’s heart softened, “I’ll buy you one in a couple of days.”
“Really?” Mimi was overjoyed. “Don’t force yourself, it’s okay if you can’t afford it.”
“…” Although the cat was very understanding, his words were still a bit hurtful.
Shao Sui opened his phone and showed Mimi his bank balance: “How many digits?”
“One, two, three… six digits before the decimal point, so much money!” Having attended a few math lessons, Mimi knew the more digits, the more money. “How do you have so much money?”
Although he knew Mimi wouldn’t understand, Shao Sui still explained, “I earned some money from various part-time jobs in school, there’s also a talent subsidy here, the school salary is decent, and during summer and winter breaks, I can work elsewhere and earn more.”
Mimi was confused, but it didn’t stop him from praising Shao Sui, “So amazing! You’re such a good owner!”
Shao Sui asked deliberately, “Not a good owner if I don’t buy you a phone?”
Mimi hesitated.
Shao Sui’s eyes narrowed.
Mimi said, “The video you watched yesterday said parents who don’t buy their children phones aren’t good parents, and you liked the video.”
Therefore, owners who didn’t buy their cats phones weren’t good owners.
“…”
See, he didn’t even have a phone yet, and he was already being influenced by short videos.
“His situation is different from yours.” Shao Sui, having nowhere to put his hand, placed it on Mimi’s waist, unconsciously caressing it. “If the parents really don’t have the money, then it’s understandable, the child can work and save up. But that person was about to start university, and his parents didn’t approve of his chosen major and refused to buy him a phone, wanting to force him to retake the college entrance exam, so they weren’t good parents.”
Mimi only vaguely understood, but he got the gist. Whether a person was good or bad depended on the specific situation.
He shifted his body, “Stop touching my waist, it’s ticklish.”
“Nonsense.” Shao Sui deliberately rubbed it a few more times. “Where does a kitten have a waist?”
Mimi burst into laughter, rolling around in Shao Sui’s arms, “Haha… I’m human now, the teacher said everyone has two kidneys… stop it, stop it…”
Shao Sui, as the cat wished, stopped and pushed him away, calmly getting out of bed.
Mimi, suddenly deprived of the human warmth, was confused, “Are you angry? Then you can touch it, I won’t resist.”
“I’m not angry.” Shao Sui left the bedroom. “I’m going to use the bathroom, don’t follow me, keep the bed warm.”
On the first night of the holiday when they shared the bed, they had separate blankets, but Mimi wasn’t a still sleeper, often kicking his blanket off and burrowing into Shao Sui’s in the middle of the night.
After two such incidents, the numb Teacher Shao accepted his fate.
What was the big deal?
It was his own cat.
Mimi obediently lay on Shao Sui’s side of the bed, listening intently to the sounds from the bathroom, ready to rush to Shao Sui’s aid if he was in danger.
Soon, he heard the sound of rushing water. It wasn’t the sound of peeing.
Mimi quickly threw off the covers, forgetting even his slippers, “Shao Sui, is the toilet leaking!?”
A fire was called a fire hazard, so a leak could be called a water hazard.
The Great Meow King was always creating new vocabulary.
Just as Mimi was frantically trying to open the locked bathroom door, he heard Shao Sui’s muffled voice, “No leaks, I’m taking a shower, I’ll be right back.”
But Shao Sui had already showered that evening.
A thought struck Mimi, and he arrived at the correct conclusion: “Shao Sui, did you pee yourself!?”
“…Keep your voice down.”
“Okay!”
Mimi knew peeing oneself was embarrassing, and he had to be considerate of the human’s pride. He walked back to the bedroom, glancing back several times, as if hearing strange noises.
After Mimi left, Shao Sui, under the shower, finally released a pent-up groan.
…
Mimi was a clever cat spirit, having mastered most basic life skills after seven days of intensive training, even able to tie neat bows with his ten fingers.
So on the first day back at work after the holiday, Mimi volunteered to tie Shao Sui’s shoelaces.
Mimi, holding Shao Sui’s hand as he stood up, hinted, “Did I tie them well?”
Shao Sui said, “Very good,” and quickly opened the door and left.
The door slammed shut, leaving the cat spirit alone in the apartment.
Mimi, who had been watching historical dramas recently, said incredulously, “How could this be?”
Before, whenever he did something well, Shao Sui would reward him with a kiss, the kind where Shao Sui kissed him. But today, he just left, without even saying goodbye.
Mimi sat on the sofa, a heartbroken expression on his face, unsure what he had done wrong. He had just woken up, he hadn’t even had a chance to annoy Shao Sui yet.
Shao Sui’s voice suddenly came from the surveillance camera: “Don’t open the door for strangers.”
Mimi waited, but there was no further instruction.
Mimi touched the camera, saying sadly, “We gaze at each other, tears in our eyes, yet words fail us.” (A line from a famous Chinese poem.)
Shao Sui greeted his colleagues in the office, “Morning.”
“Morning, Teacher Shao.” Shu Yi hesitated, “Why do you look even more haggard after a long holiday? Like me after my maternity leave.”
“…” The analogy wasn’t entirely wrong, both were the result of childcare.
“A relative’s child is staying with me.”
Shu Yi sympathized, “A boy? Are they difficult to manage?”
Shao Sui didn’t like others criticizing his cat: “He’s quite well-behaved, doesn’t cause trouble on purpose, just doesn’t know anything, I have to teach him everything.”
Shu Yi suddenly understood, “A child from the countryside?”
Shao Sui nodded: “You could say that.”
Shu Yi asked while pouring water, “How long are they staying?”
Shao Sui said vaguely, “Not sure, he has no one else, I have to take care of him for a while.”
Shu Yi immediately imagined a tragic backstory of orphaned parents, sympathizing, “Then you should definitely take good care of him, how old is he?”
Shao Sui estimated, “Eighteen or nineteen.”
Shu Yi said, “Just started university? Then the tuition fees…”
Shao Sui didn’t like divulging his family matters and made a few vague excuses, then opened an app and started browsing phone reviews.
He had initially budgeted three thousand yuan, after all, it was just for a little cat spirit, just something for watching videos, he hadn’t changed his own phone in three years.
But netizens pointed out various shortcomings of cheap phones, saying they were only suitable for the elderly, young people should use trendy brands to fit in with their social circles.
Although Mimi only had a “cat social circle” and nothing to compare with, Shao Sui thought, what if Mimi liked taking pictures? The phone should have a good camera and large storage.
What if he wanted to listen to music? The sound quality should also be good.
And Mimi rarely went out, what if he wanted to play games to pass the time? Then the specs needed to be even higher.
So the four-thousand-yuan budget quickly ballooned to ten thousand.
Despite the heartache, Teacher Shao still placed the order, opting for next-day delivery.
Just as he was about to put down his phone, he accidentally swiped to the next short video, a man deliberately lifting his shirt and a naive kitten licking his nipples.
The comment section was full of suggestive remarks, only one stood out: Getting turned on by a cat, you’re a pervert.
It struck Teacher Shao to his core.
I’m a pervert.
Shao Sui repeated the words silently.
Cheng Ke, passing by and seeing his dazed expression, said, “Although I also don’t want to work, you’re being a bit dramatic. You’re not even a homeroom teacher anymore, why so heartbroken?”
Shao Sui wanted to speak, but he couldn’t confide in anyone about this.
He could only tell himself it was because he hadn’t… relieved himself since getting the cat, it had nothing to do with Mimi. Mimi used to wait outside the bathroom door while he was showering, and if he took too long, it would meow and scratch at the door, making it impossible for him to… do that. That’s why he had suddenly reacted last night while playing with Mimi.
It had to be that.
