Chapter 36
Mimi’s joyful voice came through the phone, “Shao Sui, I can recite the multiplication table backward now, do you want to hear it?”
Shao Sui, indulging him, said, “So impressive? I’ll listen when I get home tonight.”
Actually, Mimi’s progress in math class had been glacial. Having acquired a phone, Mimi was obsessed with short videos. He could understand what the content creators were saying, but the comment sections were like an indecipherable code.
There were other solutions, like turning on the phone’s accessibility features for the visually impaired, the AI could read aloud every comment. Or downloading a font with pinyin, so Mimi could sound out the characters based on his phonics lessons.
But to prevent Mimi from becoming too addicted to the internet and to encourage him to learn characters quickly, Teacher Shao chose the most tortuous method—
He bought a dictionary.
Although the online teacher had taught him how to use a dictionary, it was still quite challenging for a first-time human like Mimi. Sometimes he couldn’t differentiate between radicals and components, often spending ages flipping through the dictionary without finding the answers he was looking for.
So to be able to navigate the comment sections quickly, Mimi studied Chinese with ferocious dedication, sometimes even practicing while eating, neglecting his math lessons completely.
Mimi asked with concern, “It’s raining outside, do you have an umbrella?”
“No, I’ll just buy one from the convenience store after work.” Shao Sui said casually. “Could you do me a favor?”
Mimi asked, “Is there a reward?”
Shao Sui, assuming it was the usual request for a kiss, said, “Sure.”
Mimi’s tone on the phone was always very formal, “Okay, what is it?”
Shao Sui thought it was a simple task, “Move the potted plants on the plant stand to the balcony, let them get some rain.”
Mimi asked again, “Should I open the windows?”
“Just the screen windows.” Shao Sui said, “Put on more clothes if you’re cold, there are some of my jackets in the wardrobe.”
Shao Sui’s OCD was practically nonexistent around Mimi.
He had kissed him, slept with him, even wiped his feet and bathed him in his human form, what was sharing clothes compared to that?
Shao Sui said, “The temperature has dropped suddenly, the jacket I bought you won’t arrive for a couple of days, you’ll have to make do for now.”
Mimi knew “make do” meant putting up with some discomfort, “I don’t mind, I like wearing your clothes, it’s like you’re hugging me.”
Shao Sui took a deep breath, unable to handle such a straightforward confession, “Let’s hang up, okay? It’s almost time for class.”
“Okay, remember to miss me.”
The call ended, the screen reverting to the browser.
The search bar displayed: #What to do if you increasingly enjoy being kissed by your cat#
Below were some strange answers—
[What to do if you enjoy being kissed by your cat? It means you’re lacking in xxx…]
[What to do if your cat likes kissing you? It means you and your cat have built trust and intimacy, just take your cat for regular checkups, brush its teeth often…]
Shao Sui decided to try a different app and a different phrasing. Many people seemed to have the same question, the search bar auto-completing his query before he even finished typing.
#Is it normal to not mind being kissed by someone of the same sex, even enjoy it a little#
Dropping a Turd: You’re gay. Next.
Are You Dumb: Don’t jump to conclusions, try kissing other parts of their body and see if you still enjoy it.
Netizens these days were very open, Shao Sui, having been browsing short videos frequently since getting the cat, was used to it. He wasn’t satisfied with “Dropping a Turd’s” answer and blocked him.
He didn’t know him anyway.
As for the second suggestion… how could he implement that?
Before, when he hadn’t thought much of it, Shao Sui didn’t find kissing a big deal, but now he felt like a criminal every time it happened. Although Mimi was legally an adult, even old enough to have kittens, he was, after all, only in his first year of being human, still naive and innocent.
Shao Sui opened another thread, hoping for different answers.
#Is not minding same-sex kisses a sign of being gay#
Poop: I don’t know, but Guan Yu and Zhang Fei didn’t kiss. (Guan Yu and Zhang Fei were sworn brothers in the famous Chinese novel Romance of the Three Kingdoms.)
Doing Kegels Every Day to Crush Heartless Gays: It depends on whether you get hard.
Spicy Chicken Flavored Rice Crust: They told me sucking on a man wouldn’t be addictive, easy to quit, so I wanted to try it. I wasn’t addicted at first, but then I couldn’t stop, even one day without it made me feel incredibly anxious, like ants crawling all over me. Now I can’t quit, my peaceful life is gone. And those who got me addicted are now blackmailing me, making me… DM me for 50 yuan to hear the rest.
…
Shao Sui calmly closed his phone, feeling none of these answers applied to his situation.
Mimi wasn’t purely a man; he was Shao Sui’s cat first, then a human. So from the beginning, Shao Sui’s tolerance level for Mimi was exceptionally high.
If Mimi was an ordinary human from the start, Shao Sui probably wouldn’t have even met him, let alone kissed him.
Even if the most perfect man was presented to him now, Shao Sui wouldn’t be able to kiss him.
Therefore, he wasn’t gay.
Cheng Ke, passing by, asked casually, “It’s getting colder, does Mimi sleep in your bed now?”
Shao Sui was very sensitive to the phrase “sleep in your bed”: “In principle, no.”
Cheng Ke was surprised, “You have principles with him?”
“…”
His phone buzzed. Shao Sui checked and saw a payment request from a garbled account with no profile picture.
The product name was “Cat Winter Essential.”
Shao Sui’s first thought was it was a scam. It couldn’t possibly be Mimi.
As soon as work ended, Shao Sui hurried to leave. It was raining heavily outside, he could buy an umbrella from the convenience store near his apartment complex.
The security guard on duty said, “Teacher Shao, leaving? Someone’s here to pick you up.”
Shao Sui’s first thought was his father had come, and his expression turned slightly unpleasant. But after taking a couple of steps, he saw a familiar figure standing on the sidewalk under a tree, holding a black umbrella.
The figure called out in a clear voice, “Brother! Look at me!”
Shao Sui’s heart almost leaped out of his chest. He quickly walked over, “What are you doing here!?”
The little cat spirit, observing his expression, said, “I came to pick you up from work! Aren’t you happy?”
“No, I thought it was… someone else.” Shao Sui said vaguely. “You can’t stand under a tree in the rain, you know?”
Mimi asked, “Why?”
Shao Sui said, “Because trees are tall, they can act as conductors, attracting lightning strikes.”
Mimi argued, “It’s not thundering today.”
“Always talking back, what else can you do besides argue?”
“I can also kiss…” Turning to leave, Mimi whispered, “Someone was watching you.”
Shao Sui: “Male or female?”
Mimi: “Male.”
Shao Sui’s eyes flickered, but he didn’t turn around, “Why did you come to pick me up?”
“You didn’t bring an umbrella, buying one would cost money.”
Mimi, having joined a poor household, felt he should be frugal.
Shao Sui felt it was magical, “How did you find the school? By smelling my pheromones?”
“No.” Mimi was a cat spirit who believed in science. “The navigation app guided me.”
Some of the materials in the study had the name of Shao Sui’s school on them. Mimi, unable to recognize some of the characters, looked them up in the dictionary, then compared them one by one in the navigation app’s search bar, finally confirming Shao Sui’s location—
No. 3 Middle School, Junior High Department.
“So smart.” Shao Sui was still slightly worried. “Did you follow the traffic lights on the way here?”
Mimi, a law-abiding citizen, replied, “I didn’t run any red lights.”
Shao Sui’s feelings were complex. Only now did he truly feel that Mimi had become a human.
Mimi was no longer just a cat spirit confined to his home. He studied, imitated human behavior, explored new things, and could even go out on his own.
In the future, Mimi wouldn’t need Shao Sui, he could go shopping, buy food, talk to people, make new friends… even meet other cat spirits and develop closer relationships.
Would Mimi still be his cat then?
“Are you bored at home all day?”
Mimi thought for a moment. Without Shao Sui, it was indeed a bit boring, so he nodded.
Shao Sui’s heart sank, “Were you scared on your way here?”
Mimi said, “A little, but people don’t bother me now, unlike before, when they would rush over and try to touch my… you know, very uncouth.”
Shao Sui chuckled, then warned seriously, “Don’t go out alone anymore, and don’t talk to strangers.”
Mimi didn’t understand, “Why?”
Shao Sui said half-truthfully, “Because it’s dangerous outside.”
Mimi thought of the man who abused him, shrinking his neck in agreement, “Then I’ll try not to go out anymore.”
Shao Sui, having achieved his goal, felt satisfied but also slightly guilty, as if he was tricking a naive teenager, restricting his freedom with underhanded tactics.
Mimi, oblivious to this, stopped at the crosswalk and habitually leaned against Shao Sui, “Can we have luosifen for dinner tonight?” (A pungent Chinese noodle dish.)
Shao Sui felt his OCD bottom line couldn’t be pushed back any further, his fleeting guilt dissipating as he continued to deceive Mimi, “Kittens can’t eat that.”
Mimi, having seen a bit of the world, was skeptical, “Really?”
Shao Sui: “Really.”
Mimi, unimpressed: “You’re lying.”
Shao Sui, exasperated, swatted his backside, “When have I ever lied to you?”
Mimi took out his phone and presented the evidence coldly—
It was a short video explaining a foreign movie, with several kissing scenes.
Mimi accused, “You said humans only kiss their partners, but this main character kissed so many people, her mother, her daughter, her husband, her friend…”
Shao Sui choked, “Those are foreigners, they’re different from us.”
Mimi grumbled, indicating Shao Sui’s credibility had plummeted.
The light turned green, and Shao Sui pulled Mimi across the street, changing the subject, “Did you register any accounts today?”
“Yes, as a reward for helping you move the plants.” Mimi suddenly remembered, “I sent you a link, can you buy it for me? Winter is coming, I really need it.”
Shao Sui felt a pang of sadness. Mimi had even figured out how to register accounts, even how to request payment when he didn’t have money, how far was he from becoming completely independent?
He extended his hand, “Let me see, what is it?”
Shao Sui thought it would be something cheap, something he could easily afford, but after opening the product page, he fell silent, “…You want to buy a cardboard box for the winter?”
Mimi nodded, “Yes.”
Shao Sui, the human, couldn’t understand, “Didn’t I buy you a bed? A human bed, a cat bed…”
Mimi insisted on a cardboard box, only accepting “I can’t afford it” as a valid reason, rejecting all other arguments.
Forced to place the order, Shao Sui made another post using his old account—
[The biggest scam in cat ownership: cat beds of any kind. No bed, no matter how fancy, can compare to a trashy cardboard box.]
Back at the apartment, Shao Sui found all the balcony windows open, the tiles wet from the rain, the plants, however, well-watered.
And recalling the cardboard box request, Shao Sui was annoyed, “Didn’t I tell you not to open the windows?”
Mimi, playing with his phone after washing his hands, replied, “But you said to open the screen windows.”
“…”
Shao Sui was trapped by Mimi’s logic: Which way was “open” for a screen window?
And Mimi was browsing online, searching: Can cats eat luosifen?
The answers online were the same as Shao Sui’s, that luosifen could cause hair loss and even kidney problems in cats, but it also said “not too much.”
Then a little should be fine, right? And he was a cat spirit, would he lose hair in his human form too?
He pulled at his thick hair, figuring losing a few strands wouldn’t matter.
So Mimi searched for “Can cat spirits eat luosifen” instead. The first few pages were irrelevant. He persistently scrolled to the eighth page and, after refreshing, finally saw a link to a forum called “Cat Spirit Gathering Place.”
A user with the ID “Tortoiseshell from Xihan District” said: Discovered a human delicacy! Luosifen! Although it smells like shit, not eating it for a day feels even worse!
Mimi took out his dictionary, wanting to ask this Tortoiseshell if it had died yet.
If not, he was definitely having luosifen tonight!
But as soon as he clicked on the forum link, he was met with a “404 error.”
The little cat spirit, refusing to give up, scrolled up and down several times, but the page wouldn’t load.
Mimi angrily uninstalled the app, “You’re a trashy app!”
After venting his frustration, Mimi thought of a new plan. He went to the bathroom, opened the short video app, clicked the “+” button to create a new video, and imitating the tone of online influencers, said in a deep voice, “Today’s fun fact, kittens can eat luosifen, especially calicos, a moderate amount of luosifen can promote hair growth, improve mood, and strengthen the bond between cats and humans…”
The little cat spirit was quite pleased with himself. He sounded so professional, and he had also used the app’s built-in filter to distort his face, making it impossible to tell it was fake. Shao Sui would definitely believe this fun fact!
