Chapter 15: Nightmare

An unprecedented terror rose in Chi Lanyi’s heart.

The door was shut. Gao Xi’s crying and Gao Yuanzhou’s helpless, consoling words were locked inside the room. Chi Lanyi hadn’t expected Gao Rong to deal with his own sister so calmly, so calculatingly.

Gao Rong would surely be even more ruthless to outsiders or enemies who shared no blood ties with him.

Then… how would Gao Rong treat his prey?

Chi Lanyi wanted to flee. But Gao Rong’s steady voice pinned him down: “Go sit on the first floor. Since you’re here, let’s have a cup of coffee together.”

“What about… them?”

Chi Lanyi hesitated.

“They will handle themselves. And if they can’t handle it, it won’t affect the outcome in any way.” Gao Rong said sternly.

Chi Lanyi was stunned by Gao Rong’s immensely controlling demeanor. Only after a long while did he nod.

Gao Rong made a gesture inviting him forward. Chi Lanyi silently followed behind Gao Rong.

Suddenly, Chi Lanyi thought of his own father.

His father, Chi Kuang, was an extremely domineering man within the family, and exceedingly proud of his masculine identity. Chi Kuang provided an exceptionally comfortable living environment for his family and also autocratically decided and judged all family matters.

He said Chi Lanyi’s older brother was masculine and outstanding, while Chi Lanyi was effeminate and unpresentable. He had once mocked Chi Lanyi openly in front of friends, saying it would be great if Chi Lanyi were a girl—at least Chi Lanyi was so beautiful; he would surely be valuable for an arranged marriage.

He had people discipline and control Chi Lanyi, wanting Chi Lanyi to become the image he approved of. Even though he mistreated Chi Lanyi so, in Chi Lanyi’s adolescence, Chi Kuang had always been a role model Chi Lanyi admired yet dared not approach.

Yet Gao Rong was even more domineering and successful than Chi Kuang—and Gao Rong was still so rational. Chi Kuang often threw tantrums in front of family when things didn’t go his way. Facing the unreasonable Gao Xi and Gao Yuanzhou, Gao Rong could handle it calmly and accurately provide them with a safety net.

Chi Lanyi sat on the sofa. His mouth was parched, and he couldn’t tell if he was attracted or terrified.

Gao Rong said: “Have some hot tea.”

Chi Lanyi glanced at the clear tea, somewhat afraid to drink it. Gao Rong added: “This afternoon, I was supposed to go to your school to see you. Unfortunately, my family had some issues, so I had to stay home and deal with them. I recommended you to the ANI Group—you’re very talented and deserve this opportunity. It can help you grow quickly, prevent you from getting bogged down among your classmates, wasting precious time on infighting with those mundane people. I’ve seen many of your works; they shouldn’t end up in the scrap heap.”

Chi Lanyi didn’t know if he felt a chill or curiosity: “Who exactly are you… which of my works have you seen?”

Without realizing it, Chi Lanyi switched his form of address for Gao Rong to the more formal “you.”

Gao Rong looked at him: “First question: Gao Rong, founder of Mirror Bridge Capital. Second question: every single one.”

Chi Lanyi’s heart began to race: “I didn’t know a financier like you had so much free time.”

“Financier?” Gao Rong echoed his tone, “Once a person climbs to a certain position, the things requiring his personal attention become very few. I can, of course, spend more time on matters that interest me.”

“…Is that so.”

“Of course, your design industry is different. Even top-level designers must spend a vast amount of time on their own works.” Gao Rong said further, “And regarding you, perhaps you’ve already sensed it—I do indeed have an unusual interest in you. It’s just, I’m still evaluating.”

Ding.

In his mind, the sound of a lighter seemed to echo again.

As if a dark blue, ghostly flame was roasting his spine, scorching hot and dangerous. Chi Lanyi’s voice trembled: “What are you evaluating?”

Gao Rong put down his tea.

“Did you hear what Gao Xi said earlier?”

When Gao Rong said this, he didn’t even make a forward-leaning, oppressive motion. He was still leaning back casually on the sofa, as if merely discussing the weather in Paris.

Yet his eyes were still fixed intently on Chi Lanyi.

Chi Lanyi had indeed heard—Gao Xi said, “Gao Rong wants to play with pretty little boys.”

His face paled, a strong sense of shame surging in his heart. Gao Rong, however, said: “What I intend to do isn’t as filthy as she makes it sound. I don’t plan to keep anyone, or force anyone. I—prefer things that are mutually consensual.”

“Ha…”

Chi Lanyi trembled even more. Gao Rong added: “You don’t need to rush an answer. Chi Lanyi, you are truly very beautiful, and also very fragile, just that you also have a personality that makes it truly difficult to approach. I know that using direct force on you will only make you shatter. By the way—the cigarettes I bought last time, have you finished them?”

He brought up that ambiguous smoke kiss.

“It’s… it’s about to pour rain.” Chi Lanyi finally couldn’t bear it and stood up, “Mr. Gao, I don’t understand what you’re saying. I have to go back to school. I… I can’t stay here…”

Gao Rong remained seated calmly in his original spot, as if he didn’t think he had said anything out of line at all: “Alright, I’ll have the driver take you back. It’s about to storm; take an umbrella.”

“No need…” Chi Lanyi just wanted to escape quickly.

Gao Rong continued: “Being with me, you can gain far more than you imagine. Chi Lanyi, I hope you can give me an answer soon. I don’t have much time left in France.”

Chi Lanyi lowered his head. After a moment, he said softly: “You might… have some misunderstandings about me.”

“What misunderstandings?”

“I’m not the kind of person you imagine. Towards men, I… I’m heterosexual.” Chi Lanyi stammered.

Gao Rong actually laughed. His soft chuckle rendered Chi Lanyi’s defense pale and futile: “Are you sure?”

“I…”

Gao Rong’s next words, however, fell like a thunderclap. “You’ve dreamed of me these past few days, haven’t you?”

Gao Rong fixed his eyes on Chi Lanyi, a hint of amusement in his gaze, as if he could see right through Chi Lanyi’s heart.

Chi Lanyi completely broke down at that moment.

His face was ashen, as if his most unwilling secret had been exposed. Only after a long while did his lips move.

“I never want to see you again!”

Chi Lanyi turned and ran out of Gao Rong’s villa, dashing into the dense rain clouds. Without waiting for the driver to come get him, he had already fled out the main gate like a panicked deer.

Gao Rong sat inside the villa and calmly instructed the butler to have the driver go find Chi Lanyi. It was pouring; Chi Lanyi couldn’t have gotten far.

He would have the driver safely escort Chi Lanyi home.

…

Chi Lanyi was gone.

The rain was bucketing down. Gao Rong stood before the window until he received the message that Chi Lanyi had safely returned to school. Then, he pulled another cigarette from the pack.

This time, it was one with a crush ball.

Chewing it in his mouth, it had a sickly sweet taste.

Expressionlessly, he chewed this cigarette, his fingers slowly picking and peeling at the folds of the pack.

—Just as if Chi Lanyi were still lying docile and safe in his palm.

The Maybach once again stopped beneath Chi Lanyi’s student apartment building. Chi Lanyi got out of the car and felt the icy raindrops hitting him.

He lingered for a moment before the apartment entrance. Finally, on the verge of collapse, he braved the rain and ran to the studio. The corner of the studio belonging to him still retained the chaotic state left after Gao Yuanzhou’s departure. Scraps of fabric and loose threads were scattered all over the floor. He buried himself in the fabrics, grabbed a piece of cloth, and tried to do what he was supposed to do.

Sketching, cutting, sewing… Chi Lanyi spent an entire day in the studio, numbing himself with work.

The daylight turned from dusk to deep night, then to the faint glow of dawn. When his classmate arrived at the studio, yawning, she was startled by the sight before her.

“Chi Lanyi, you pulled an all-nighter? You just made this?” She murmured, “Good heavens, this kind of draping simulation… this is better than every piece I’ve seen this year. Chi Lanyi, you really are a genius.”

Chi Lanyi forced a smile and didn’t chat with her.

As more and more people filled the studio, Chi Lanyi picked up his backpack and rushed to his next class. His steps were weak, his hurried manner like someone fleeing for his life—escaping from one task to another, as long as he didn’t have to think about anything.

Critique time arrived. Perhaps because he had stayed up all night, Chi Lanyi felt a bit dazed, feeling that the sound of the teacher critiquing classmates’ work in the distance was very far away.

Thankfully, this dizziness finally allowed him to stop thinking about Gao Rong—at this thought, Chi Lanyi realized the name “Gao Rong” had appeared in his head again.

…What did all those things Gao Rong said to him count as?

A confession? Or just some frivolous sexual invitation?

His mind was a tangled mess; he didn’t even notice the teacher approaching. Until his work was picked up by the teacher: “You combined deep blue velvet with a gold metallic mesh, embellished with lace, sealed with resin. From afar, it looks elegant and restrained, but up close, it’s intense twisting and struggling… like some untouchable emotion.”

Chi Lanyi was jolted awake as if splashed by cold water. He looked up in panic, seeing everyone watching him. The teacher asked earnestly: “You did very well. What’s the name of this piece?”

“…Chi.” Chi Lanyi said subconsciously.

“Chi” from Chi Lanyi.

Suddenly, Chi Lanyi realized what he had said. His face turned very ugly.

The voices of classmates, whether praising or jealous, also seemed to become very distant. Chi Lanyi fidgeted restlessly, finally enduring until class ended. He took his coaster and fled back to his apartment as if escaping.

Chi Lanyi hid the coaster deep inside a cabinet, then hurriedly went to delete the coaster’s introductory website. His mind was filled with the word the teacher had used.

Untouchable.

At that very moment, a visitor record appeared on the website. Chi Lanyi glanced at it and instantly turned deathly pale.

The visitor’s name was “Gao.”

On the webpage above was the coaster that exposed his desire. Below the webpage was Gao Rong’s name—heaven knows how Gao Rong discovered this website. But a person of immense power and influence could indeed see everything.

Suddenly, Chi Lanyi felt as if he were still on that sofa in the villa.

Gao Rong was watching him, smiling: “I’ve seen everything.”

Chi Lanyi completely collapsed.

He let out a pained whimper, curled up in his chair hugging his head, not knowing what to do. He was thinking of Gao Rong’s eyes, of Gao Rong’s voice, of Gao Rong’s breath spilling near his lips. Everything related to Gao Rong felt both alluring and dangerously filthy.

If Gao Rong were his family, could he also be protected by Gao Rong like Gao Yuanzhou was?

If Gao Rong could protect him, would he never have to be responsible for his own chaos and fragility again?

He wouldn’t have to handle anything he didn’t want to handle, and could also do everything he wanted to do. Gao Rong was terrifying, but every action of Gao Rong’s demonstrated to him—Gao Rong was powerful, calm, and capable of bringing a sense of security.

And besides, it was Gao Rong who came to him first, it was Gao Rong who first revealed his desires to him—perhaps he was merely a victim driven by Gao Rong’s homosexual desires.

Suddenly, as if some notion had been switched on, Chi Lanyi thought dazedly: if Gao Rong could force him, he wouldn’t have to be responsible for his current desires.

This thought made Chi Lanyi feel even more disgusted with himself. He closed his eyes and forced himself to sleep, wanting to forget everything.

But an even more despairing thing happened.

That night, he dreamed of Gao Rong again.

This dream was even more excessive than the last one.

…

When the first ray of morning sunlight fell upon him, Chi Lanyi woke amidst the wreckage.

Outside the window, F University after the rain still looked like its usual self. Spring had arrived; irises bloomed in the botanical garden. Chi Lanyi watched those beautiful, pure flowers from the window for a long time, finally trembling as he realized what he had dreamed of last night.

Chi Lanyi put on a neat trench coat, tidied up the room, and numbly carried a bundle to the garbage disposal point.

He threw his bedsheets, along with the pajamas he wore last night, into the trash bin together.

Only after watching the garbage be taken away by the collection truck did Chi Lanyi return to his room. He knew this trash would be crushed, just like last night’s impulse, disappearing without a trace.

Chi Lanyi sat down in the bathtub once more, letting the warm water envelop him. His phone received a text from his teacher, asking if he wanted to participate in an exhibition famous for its high standards and excellence.

Chi Lanyi didn’t reply a single word.

He simply covered his face with his hands, using the water to hide everything. Thinking about how, in last night’s dream, he and Gao Rong had kissed intertwiningly, he started to dry heave slightly.