Chapter 70
Yu Congyan had initially tried to convince himself that as long as they got through this period, everything would be fine.
Xia Wansheng was probably just adjusting. It was like climbing to the top of a ladder only to have it suddenly pulled away, anyone would be shaken.
But every time he met Xia Wansheng’s gaze, he felt a pang of pain, a sudden realization.
This trial was tormenting him, not Xia Wansheng.
He didn’t dare to question the sincerity of Xia Wansheng’s “yes,”
It felt like the door to his heart, which had been slightly ajar, was slammed shut, without any chance of reopening.
Just half a day had passed, and Yu Congyan felt like he was falling apart.
He couldn’t let this continue, he had to find an opportunity to talk to Xia Wansheng.
Xia Wansheng was listlessly writing in his diary.
He was a bit curious why his past self hadn’t had this habit, but he felt the need to record something now.
The therapist had also suggested he focus on his own life and feelings, not just the people and events around him.
He glanced at his phone and wrote down the first date and location entry since arriving in this world.
It was the winter solstice already.
These past few months had been extraordinary, completely changing his life’s trajectory. If the orphanage director were still alive, she would be happy for him.
Dinner was prepared by Yu Congyan again. He wondered how the CEO had managed to master the essence of various cuisines in such a short time, even asking about his preferences, despite Xia Wansheng saying anything was fine.
Then he saw an unspoken question in Yu Congyan’s eyes, a hesitant look.
“???”
Xia Wansheng was puzzled, did Yu Congyan want him to specify his preferred cuisine?
“Should I make it bland? I remember you have a sensitive stomach.” He asked tentatively.
Then he noticed Yu Congyan’s expression darken even further.
Xia Wansheng wisely shut up, lamenting Yu Congyan’s increasingly unreadable thoughts, his lack of transparency.
Yu Congyan, on the other hand, desperately wanted to tell him the truth about his amnesia.
In just half a day, he was driven mad by this change in Xia Wansheng.
His blatant attempts at closeness and appeasement made him feel empty.
He missed the old Xia Wansheng, the “I don’t care about life or death, bring it on” Xia Wansheng.
The one who, even when they weren’t close, would ignore his sensitive stomach and order spicy stir-fried lamb, seizing every opportunity for barbecue and Mala Tang, casually asking him if he wanted to join him for hot pot after being discovered.
The extra spicy, nine-grid kind.
That was the Xia Wansheng he knew.
But now, he was like a puppet with its strings cut, cautious and observant, constantly trying to please others, sacrificing his own preferences and enduring everything.
Everything was different now, the earlier carefree spirit just a fleeting illusion.
Yu Congyan had only experienced this for half a day and was already on the verge of a breakdown.
And Xia Wansheng had lived like this for over twenty years.
If it weren’t for this bizarre encounter, he would probably have continued enduring it.
If it weren’t for the therapist’s suggestion, Xia Wansheng might have truly become like this after the system left.
He might even choose to return with the system out of fear.
Just like when he knew the system was about to disappear, he was willing to give up the substantial reward to return to his familiar life.
Nothing could stop him.
After dinner, Xia Wansheng decided to go grocery shopping, mainly to familiarize himself with the surrounding area.
Yu Congyan was in the study, working, so he didn’t want to disturb him, quietly taking his keys and leaving.
He even turned off the living room lights to save electricity.
He calculated that, based on Yu Congyan’s usual schedule, he should still be working when he returned.
He gently closed the door.
As he walked, several notifications popped up on his phone, automated messages about the solar term and a bunch of funny videos Lu Mingxi had shared.
Normally, he would just mark them as read and send a perfunctory reply.
But he was in a good mood today, so he started scrolling through them, even commenting on a few.
This scared Lu Mingxi, who immediately called him, his voice hushed: “Dude, are you in danger? If you are, just say ‘mm,’ and I’ll call the police!”
They hadn’t interacted much in almost a month, this must be a cry for help! Thankfully he was online!
“…You’re overthinking.” Xia Wansheng replied helplessly.
He should have just replied to the automated message.
“Then why are you suddenly replying to every single message? This isn’t like you.” Lu Mingxi complained, “I thought something happened to you, I almost fell out of my chair and bruised my ribs.”
“I’m fine, just going to the supermarket, I saw the notifications on my way.” Xia Wansheng explained, knowing Lu Mingxi would overthink it otherwise.
“Yu Congyan didn’t go with you?” Lu Mingxi’s voice turned suspicious, “Did you two have a fight?”
He slammed his hand on the table.
“Stay where you are, I’ll call Brother Yang, we’ll beat him up and then go back to our hometown and open our shop! I won’t let him bully you!”
“Wait a minute,” Xia Wansheng thought things were getting out of hand, “Nothing happened between us, what are you talking about?”
It took a while to explain everything.
Xia Wansheng finally declared, “I’m blocking you when I get back.”
“Don’t, I was just worried about you…” Lu Mingxi tried to defend himself, only to be hung up on.
He wouldn’t reply to his messages unless it was a life-or-death situation.
But after hesitating, he didn’t block him, just sighed and put away his phone.
He was just being kind, after all.
The fluorescent lights in the supermarket were bright, creating a perpetual daytime atmosphere to encourage spending.
But Xia Wansheng was unfazed, glancing at the time, exactly 8 pm.
Discount time.
After a whirlwind of bargain hunting, he hummed a tune on his way home, his key turning smoothly in the lock.
Chatting with Lu Mingxi had taken longer than he expected, he should have left the lights on.
The apartment was dark.
He opened the door slightly, using the motion-sensor light in the hallway to find the light switch.
As he turned on the lights, he saw Yu Congyan sitting silently on the sofa, and he was startled.
“Why didn’t you turn on the lights?” he asked casually, putting away the groceries.
“Thinking about something.” Yu Congyan’s voice sounded resolute.
These soup dumplings didn’t come with steaming papers, could he use corn husks instead…?
Xia Wansheng finished putting away the groceries and, seeing Yu Congyan still sitting motionless on the sofa, curiously approached him, “What’s wrong?”
He reached out, only to have his wrist grabbed and pulled down, landing on the sofa with Yu Congyan on top of him.
Yu Congyan held his wrists loosely above his head, his gaze intense as he leaned in, “I want to kiss you.”
He didn’t want to see Xia Wansheng’s cautious, almost subservient demeanor any longer, as if pleasing others was his only purpose.
He would test how far Xia Wansheng would go to accommodate him.
He waited for him to struggle, to protest, to even whimper in pain, any sign of genuine emotion.
Then he could use this as an opportunity to tell him he didn’t need his compliance, he just wanted him to prioritize his own feelings.
But Xia Wansheng showed no resistance, only avoiding his gaze, “Why are you asking me…”
He wasn’t socially adept enough to look someone in the eyes and confess his love.
A shiver ran down his spine, but he still didn’t push him away.
Yu Congyan’s hand slipped under his shirt, as if to caress his lower back, then stopped, his voice husky, “What if I want to do something else?”
This position was dangerous, things could escalate quickly.
Xia Wansheng couldn’t avoid his gaze now, but he felt something was different about Yu Congyan’s emotions.
It felt more like a plea than a threat.
Yu Congyan clearly had the upper hand, but Xia Wansheng sensed a desperate plea.
He paused for a moment, then asked tentatively, “Does it have to be here?”
This sofa was really hard, the comfortable one he ordered hadn’t arrived yet, this wouldn’t be a pleasant experience.
His back wouldn’t be able to handle it.
Yu Congyan hadn’t intended to take things further, it would be taking advantage of him.
He just wanted to push Xia Wansheng, to see how far he would go.
He expected to be rejected at the kiss, but Xia Wansheng’s reaction had been surprisingly calm, as if treating this as another wish fulfillment task.
Having gone this far, there was no turning back.
“It has to be here.” Yu Congyan said, each word deliberate.
He increased the pressure slightly, it didn’t matter if he was deceiving himself, as long as Xia Wansheng said “stop” or “it hurts,” he would immediately pull back, ending this test.
He couldn’t take this anymore.
He felt like continuing would lead to a disastrous outcome.
But Xia Wansheng still didn’t complain, just shifted his position slightly to ease the pressure on his wrist, then closed his eyes and said, “Go ahead.”
A string snapped in his mind.
Yu Congyan stared blankly for a few seconds, then finally processed his words.
He had been so forceful, and yet Xia Wansheng had only asked “does it have to be here?” and, after being rebuffed, offered no resistance, even adjusting his position, seemingly resigned to whatever would happen next.
Did he not care about him at all? Not care about being hurt, not care about what would happen next?
Yu Congyan’s strength suddenly drained away, the pain in his chest almost physical.
He rested his forehead on Xia Wansheng’s shoulder, his voice choked with tears, barely audible, “Don’t do this to me…”
Please don’t.
He was the one on top, yet he was the one crying.
Xia Wansheng hesitated, then reached out his free hand and gently embraced him.
