Chapter 19: Mental Hospital
The bus slowly pulled over, the sudden inertia of braking abruptly dispelling Xi Leng’s light sleep.
The side of a building appeared outside the window, too close, the large windows only showing a cold gray, no signs or markings.
At this moment, the front door hissed open, and a man dressed in a white coat and silver-rimmed glasses, looking like a doctor, walked in.
“I’m Dr. Jia from Ren’ai Mental Hospital. Before admission, I’ll conduct a simple mental health assessment, you just need to answer a few questions.” The doctor, played by a professional actor, carried himself with authority, his sharp eyes sweeping across the bus. “So, who wants to go first?”
Luo Jiayan turned to remind Qiaoqiao, the amateur guest: “This is the introductory segment, no matter how we answer, we’re definitely going to be admitted…”
His peripheral vision drifted towards Xi Leng; he was the one he truly wanted to inform.
Following Dr. Jia, two nurses also boarded the bus. One was a gentle and slender nurse in white, fitting the traditional image, the other a tall and burly male nurse, his nurse uniform stretched taut over his bulging muscles, the fragile buttons looking as if they could burst open at any moment.
The two of them efficiently set up a folding table, placing a laptop, paper medical records, and even a stack of self-serve candies on it, quickly creating a makeshift examination station.
Luo Jiayan initiated the conversation, and the others followed suit, discussing amongst themselves. Qiaoqiao analyzed: “Although we’ll most likely be admitted, how we answer these questions will probably affect the later stages, we need to figure out the most advantageous answers.”
“Then we’ll need someone to go first and test the waters.” Jiang Songnan interjected with a look of disdain. “If we can prove we’re not sick, maybe we can get off work early.”
He clearly didn’t care about screen time. He wasn’t lacking in popularity. If he could outsmart the program team and get off work right after starting, it would definitely generate a lot of buzz, maybe even a trending topic.
Regardless of whether they could leave early, being the first one was clearly the most disadvantageous. And the protagonist shou, as the embodiment of kindness and righteousness, volunteered resolutely: “Then I’ll go first.”
Xi Leng subconsciously looked at Jiang Songnan.
Jiang Songnan was the domineering and unhinged villain gong, attracted, like Xi Leng, to the protagonist shou’s contrasting qualities. But Xi Leng was the devoted male supporting character, the deceased white moonlight, silently and devotedly waiting, while Jiang Songnan would do hurtful things in the name of love.
Unexpectedly, Jiang Songnan didn’t pay much attention to the volunteering Luo Jiayan.
Xi Leng’s glance was met directly by the other person’s fierce, upturned eyes.
“What are you looking at?” Jiang Songnan raised an eyebrow, repeating the words from their first meeting, but without the previous hostility. His fiery red hair was dazzling, his thin lips curving slightly upwards, silently mouthing a few words, “Fallen for me?”
Each word was clear, visible to both Xi Leng and Min Zhi behind him.
“…”
“I’ll ask you a few questions, and you need to answer them within a minute, remember not to hide anything. Only if you answer truthfully can we make an accurate diagnosis and provide effective treatment…”
On the other side of the bus, Luo Jiayan’s examination had already begun.
The others at the back temporarily ceased their hostilities.
Dr. Jia asked ten questions seriously, adopting a rather professional demeanor even in an entertainment-focused variety show.
The reliability of psychological tests was often questioned. Firstly, people might not have accurate self-awareness; secondly, people often concealed information, real patients might hide their symptoms, while healthy people could lie to get the diagnosis they wanted.
The four observers had their own thoughts, trying to figure out the program team’s intentions. Luo Jiayan, on the other hand, answered all the questions seriously and honestly. Everyone could see that his mental state was completely normal.
And then Dr. Jia said coldly: “Severe schizophrenia.”
“…Huh?”
The little flame of hope in Luo Jiayan’s eyes was extinguished, and he was completely stunned.
“You’re completely unable to accept reality. Due to a strong defense mechanism, you’ve developed a perfect false self.” Dr. Jia’s acting was impeccable, he said seriously, “But don’t worry, as long as you receive treatment at our hospital, you’ll recover soon and be able to live like a healthy person.”
It was clearly nonsense, but it somehow seemed to make sense.
Luo Jiayan obediently took the diagnosis sheet and returned, his head lowered, still pondering the questions and Dr. Jia’s diagnosis.
He sat back in his seat, and no one else went forward for a while.
“How can this be…” Qiaoqiao, experiencing the ruthlessness and absurdity of variety shows for the first time, pouted and said, “There’s no way for us to prove we’re not sick! He just needs to move his lips, and we’re instantly terminally ill!”
Xi Leng, who had personally undergone psychotherapy, knew this all too well.
He leaned against the back of his seat, his expression indifferent, then leaned forward slightly, picking up Qiaoqiao’s words: “That’s right. In the last century, a psychologist conducted an experiment where he had several normal people admitted to a mental hospital, and they acted like normal people, but in the end, they all came out with a diagnosis of schizophrenia. There are many films and TV shows with similar themes, normal people wrongly admitted to mental hospitals, unable to prove they’re not sick…”
Even Luo Jiayan, who had known him for over a decade, had rarely seen him speak continuously for several minutes—except when reciting texts in class.
The others had never seen or heard of it.
Jiang Songnan was the most interested, being the first to raise an eyebrow and ask: “You seem to know a lot about this? Did you do a lot of research in advance?”
Xi Leng paused, then unexpectedly answered him.
In a flat and straightforward tone, he said something shocking—
“No need for research, I’m actually sick.”
Jiang Songnan: “…………”
Sheng Jiao, watching this scene unfold in the bus, almost burst out laughing. Who would have thought! Xi Leng, who seemed the most quiet and boring, was currently the most entertaining guest, the first to create a memorable scene, even silencing the troublemaker Jiang Songnan.
Jiang Songnan, brewing silently for a while, was about to explode when Xi Leng happened to stand up, heading towards the examination station without looking back.
Jiang Songnan’s anger subsided, his eyes fixed on the amateur who kept provoking him. Not only was his face good-looking, but his figure was also well-proportioned.
Xi Leng said the same thing to the doctor: “No need for the test, I know I’m sick, you can’t cure me.”
In the long silence, the glasses slipped down the doctor’s nose slightly, his sharp eyes fixed on the person who readily admitted to being sick, as if trying to discern the truth of his words.
Perhaps only Dr. Jia himself knew that he was frantically searching his mind for the script, trying to figure out how to deal with this unexpected situation…
Sick or not, they were all sick!
Dr. Jia calmly pushed his glasses back up, quickly writing a diagnosis sheet and handing it to Xi Leng, saying: “Mild cognitive impairment, plus special patient management.”
Although he didn’t know what “special patient management” meant, at least the condition was mild?
He didn’t know if this was a good thing, but one thing was certain, his plan to leave early had clearly failed.
He didn’t know if Sheng Jiao’s setup included an option to leave early, but even if it did, the conditions must be very strict.
He couldn’t let the other guests imitate him, otherwise there would be no show to film. Xi Leng decided to sit back and observe the situation, waiting for everyone to finish their diagnosis, and then say he hadn’t answered any questions and request another test.
Next, it was Min Zhi’s turn for the diagnosis. He answered all ten questions, deliberately choosing the most severe answers.
Luo Jiayan, who chose normal answers, received a diagnosis of “severe schizophrenia,” so Min Zhi did the opposite.
But Dr. Jia didn’t play by the rules: “Severe depression, with suicidal tendencies.”
Min Zhi chuckled in amusement. He had a history of cursing on camera, so Sheng Jiao instantly broke out in a cold sweat, afraid that he would explode, but he only smiled.
Then, crossing his arms, he looked at the doctor nonchalantly: “I think you’re quite right.”
The doctor observed him, then pointed at his arms with the pen cap: “This is a clear defensive posture. If you don’t even trust the doctor, how can your illness be cured?”
…This guy actually had some knowledge?
Min Zhi was silent for a few seconds, then placed his arms on the table, sliding them forward, his intimidating dark eyes locking onto the doctor through the lenses.
And like Xi Leng, he admitted frankly: “I’m sick, I’ve always known that.”
“Plus special patient management.” However, Dr. Jia was unmoved, his tone unyielding. “Diagnosis complete. Next.”
“…”
Jiang Songnan and Qiaoqiao, who followed, didn’t admit to being sick, as they both felt “special patient management” wasn’t a good thing.
The diagnosis of the five patients was complete, all except Xi Leng had answered the ten questions.
Xi Leng seized this opportunity and quickly called out to the doctor who was about to leave: “Wait, I didn’t answer any questions, let me do the diagnosis again.”
“Our diagnosis is never wrong.” Dr. Jia was very confident. “The more you resist reality, the more serious your illness is.”
“…” Xi Leng paused. “I know, but I have something to say…”
No matter when he finished filming, Xi Leng’s pay for the first episode was fixed, paid in full before filming began.
Although Sheng Jiao told him that traffic equals money, Sheng Jiao didn’t know anything about the complex relationships between these guests, even the protagonists themselves only had a vague understanding. It was he, the male supporting character, who was troubled by it.
Having solved the piano staircase riddle and completed the hidden camera mission last night, Xi Leng was content. This amount of screen time was enough, he didn’t want any more trouble.
He had decided to clock out early today.
“I have no money.” He said sincerely, with a hint of misery. “I have no money, I can’t afford your hospital.”
“…”
“?”
All the guests fell silent.
Dr. Jia also fell silent.
The dedicated actor’s inner panic grew wildly.
…The script didn’t say what to do in this situation!
