Chapter 8: When Tantai Tian Carried the Cat Toward the Bath Chamber, Rendong Had No Idea He Would Regret It. After All, It Was the Cat Who Had Driven the Human Back Inside to Dry His Hair.

Cats never liked water.

Wet fur clung flat to the body and drew away so much heat that it could easily kill a cat.

Humans were probably about the same, right?

After all, the old Tantai Tian had no modern hair dryer.

When Tantai Tian returned to the bath chamber, someone quickly brought in a lovely woven basket lined with soft, cushiony padding, along with two little rattan balls.

Rendong loved the basket.

The moment he was set down inside, he rolled around hugging one of the rattan balls.

He lay there in the basket, his little cat head tilted back against the rim, watching as Yu Zeming carefully changed Tantai Tian out of his soiled clothes while an attendant behind him dabbed at the ends of his hair with a cloth. Their movements were deft and thorough, never once brushing against Tantai Tian’s body.

Everyone Yu Zeming had selected to serve the Emperor were old hands from the Eastern Palace, well versed in every taboo, incapable of making some improper mistake.

The humidity in the bath chamber was a bit heavy, and Rendong didn’t much care for it.

But the room itself was very warm, and that cozy heat lulled the cat toward drowsiness. His head tipped sideways, and one pointed ear flattened against the basket.

Half the cat fell asleep!

The other half heard people talking, though he couldn’t make out the words.

Drip, drip, drip.

From the inner room came the sound of more water.

A pair of hands reached into the basket, startling Rendong wide awake.

His paws slammed down on a wrist. The moment his half-lidded cat eyes made out who it was, the outstretched claws slid back in.

Tantai Tian stared at him, unblinking.

The cat meowed a couple of times, then helpfully laid his other fluffy paw on top as well and began kneading, pressing down again and again.

While kneading, Rendong was a very good cat and kept his claws sheathed.

Human skin was fragile. One careless hook of a claw would leave red marks.

After being kneaded a few times, Tantai Tian lifted the cat up.

Rendong went soft and pliant in his grip, slinging his two front paws over either of the man’s wrists.

The cat noticed that Tantai Tian’s hair had mostly dried, the long strands gathered up with a simple hairpin. Very neat and efficient.

“Itchy, is it?”

Two flat words from Tantai Tian struck the little cat speechless.

Itchy?

That was kneading!

What a tasteless person.

Fuming, Rendong let himself be carried into the inner bathing pool. The tinkling sound of water grew clearer and clearer, and the steam in here was far thicker than outside.

The cat went on high alert.

He began to wiggle and squirm.

Something was wrong.

Was the human plotting against the cat?

The moment Tantai Tian set Rendong down on a round wooden basin, the sense of impending danger peaked. Rendong arched his back, planning to bolt the instant the human looked away—

“Everyone out.”

At Tantai Tian’s cold command, the palace attendants stationed around the inner pool all withdrew, closing the door behind them.

Now Rendong had nowhere to run.

“Mrrroooow!”

The cat yowled at the top of his lungs.

The human repays kindness with cruelty! Cats do NOT take baths!

Tantai Tian ignored the racket entirely, lifting the little cat basin and carrying it toward the pool. Rendong tried to leap down, but the wooden basin was slick and slippery, and the cat wobbled, lost his footing, and tumbled right back in.

By the time he’d shaken off his daze and scrambled upright, the basin had already entered the pool, drifting free of the edge.

Yes, the edge.

To a cat, a bath pool built for humans was a lake!

The cat’s cries rang out with pure disbelief.

One after another, like a litany of accusations against human cruelty.

Rendong angrily spoke to the System.

“Cat wants to talk to the human!”

【Host is currently talking to Tantai Tian.】

The full-throated yowling never stopped.

“But Cat can understand humans, and humans can’t understand Cat. Cat is getting ripped off!”

【If a cat could actually talk, the ancients would most likely declare it a demon and have it burned at the stake.】

The System wasn’t fearmongering.

Even in the era Rendong had crossed over from, anyone who encountered something like that would probably have been terrified out of their mind.

Rendong supposed the System had a point.

Still, Tantai Tian was being wicked beyond all reason!

The cat watched the edge drift farther and farther away on the water, and there stood Tantai Tian on the shore, unhurried, fussing with who knew what. So wicked!

All this water, and where exactly was a cat supposed to leap?

Splash.

The cat’s pupils snapped toward the edge.

There was Tantai Tian, outer robe removed, stepping into the water in nothing but his inner garments, the plain white cloth clinging to his body and outlining its smooth, full lines.

Huh?

Human flesh was this solid?

The cat’s eyes couldn’t help locking onto Tantai Tian’s lean, well-muscled waist, paws itching with the urge to pounce.

The human waded through the water and came right up to the cat.

Only then did Rendong notice the wooden tray in his hands, holding towels, honey locust soap, and an exquisite little gourd ladle.

The cat surveyed the tray and quickly locked onto Tantai Tian’s hand.

One step closer, human, and Cat would smack you and give you a proper scolding.

But instead, Tantai Tian reached for the gourd ladle first and pressed it face-down into the water.

The ladle bobbed right back up.

Slowly, lazily, it drifted over to the cat’s basin and stopped.

Hey!

Why is that thing the one getting closer?

Rendong clung to the rim of the basin, one paw pressing the gourd ladle down while he secretly cursed Tantai Tian in his heart.

He’d curse him properly after playing for a while.

The ladle got pushed under by a fluffy paw, then popped back up.

Such simple joys. Rendong was having the time of his life.

Until a splash of water landed on his back.

Enemy attack! Enemy attack! Enemy attack!

The cat puffed up into a complete ball of fluff and sprang straight up.

Even though the basin wasn’t small, Rendong’s body was far stronger than an ordinary kitten’s, and that leap was about to send him crashing into the water.

Tantai Tian snatched him back with quick reflexes, barely saving him from a dunking.

The terrified cat slapped a paw against the human’s hand.

“Bad human!”

If Rendong had actually fallen in, that whole pool of water would have swallowed him up!

No feline honor whatsoever!

Expressionless, Tantai Tian carried Rendong back to the big wooden basin, then retrieved the gourd ladle that had been bobbing in the water, scooped up a ladleful, and poured it over the cat’s back.

Rendong’s eyes went perfectly round at that string of smooth, practiced little motions.

He arched his back and hissed at Tantai Tian, then smacked the back of the man’s hand again and again with his round little paw pads.

“Rendong does NOT want a bath—”

The little cat was practically pressed against Tantai Tian’s ear, hissing his objections.

Tantai Tian finally paused, lifting the now-damp, disheveled cat up in his hands.

Same as before, gripping both small front legs, he slowly brought them level with those golden cat eyes.

Such a tiny cat, yowling away so ferociously!

Those water-dampened paw pads patted against the back of his hand, one little slap after another.

“Cats die if they get wet! Cats don’t take baths!”

“Cats aren’t dirty—”

At the final mrrrow, the little cat’s whiskers quivered with equal passion.

Tantai Tian gave the bath-refusing little kitten in his hands a little shake and said slowly, “Are you cursing me?” Beneath that calm, silky tone lurked something dark and unreadable.

The cat didn’t notice.

After all, humans loved to sniff cats, fuss over cats, talk to cats. Plenty of humans cooed at their kitties, begging Mommy and Daddy to hear them speak. Even if they couldn’t understand a word, they still loved responding back and forth like that.

“If it wasn’t Rendong, who else could it be, a little cat ghost?” Rendong, safe in the knowledge that Tantai Tian couldn’t understand a word, pettily cursed him out. “Humans are idiots!”

As the cat meowed and meowed, protesting Tantai Tian’s outrageous behavior, another ladle of warm water poured over his little back.

Rendong froze like a cat statue, lifting his stunned little face.

Over the soft murmur of water, Tantai Tian’s voice sounded unbearably flat. “Well, your fur is already wet. Better a short pain than a long one. Rendong might as well put up with the bath.”

Rendong held back, and held back, and in the end couldn’t hold back.

Take this cat’s shadowless kick! Hah!

…

By the time the cat was washed, Tantai Tian was soaked through.

His earlier bath had gone to waste entirely.

He stepped out of the pool with a black cat thrashing and bristling in his arms, all his fur bristling, and wrapped the animal in a fluffy towel, rolling him into a little cat burrito.

The cat burrito rolled and struggled, little bumps popping up across its surface in turn, a testament to just how hard Rendong was fighting.

By the time Tantai Tian found a spare moment to change out of his soaked clothes, the cat burrito had already come undone. He snatched up the cat just as it was about to make a break for it and said flatly, “Your fur needs to be dried.”

Rendong hissed at him, soggy paw pads going slap slap slap all over the man’s waist.

Go away, you coldhearted human. Don’t touch Cat.

Since the bath had started, Tantai Tian had been ambushed by paw pads plenty of times. But no matter how wildly all four paws flew, Rendong only ever struck with his pads. Not once did the claws come out.

Tantai Tian poked a finger at Rendong’s ear.

He only withdrew his hand once the ear had flattened.

Cradled in Tantai Tian’s arms, the cat dampened a fresh patch of the newly changed clothes.

The wicked-hearted cat saw it and deliberately rubbed himself against the human.

If you drag a cat into a bath, then Cat gets to use you as a drying cloth!

Yu Zeming, waiting outside, heard the sounds from the pool die down and promptly arrived with the incense burner, the openwork golden incense sphere, and other items.

His entrance was very quiet.

The attendants behind him all kept their heads bowed, not daring to sneak a glance.

Inwardly, though, Yu Zeming was sighing with relief. Well, well. So this Little Ancestor really is good for something. After washing the cat, His Majesty was still expressionless, but that fierce, violent aura of his had settled.

Yu Zeming had braced himself to take the Little Ancestor over and dry him, but seeing that His Majesty seemed inclined to do it personally, he swallowed the words and simply set everything within reach of his Master.

And so Tantai Tian rolled the warm openwork golden incense sphere along Rendong’s body while combing through the cat’s fur with a fine-toothed comb.

It was delicate work.

Yet Tantai Tian did it with great care and focus.

Handling tools far too small for his hands, he groomed the cat meticulously.

Under the double assault of warmth and combing, the previously furious Rendong slowly melted into a little cat pancake.

Mmm… so comfy…

Without any sound at all, the little cat crouched on the table and his head dropped with a plop, burying his little face as he drifted off.

Tantai Tian nudged Rendong’s small body with his palm.

Sleeping face-down like that… can’t you breathe?

The cat flopped sideways, revealing his damp belly, and cracked one eye open with effort to look at the enormous human. Seeing it was the familiar Tantai Tian, his left paw gave a perfunctory wave by way of greeting, a slightly damp pink paw settling onto the back of Tantai Tian’s hand.

“Rendong needs to sleep.” The paw pads of his other pink paw rubbed against the side of his own head, as if he wanted to bury his face in the fur of his chest. “…Play with human again after Cat wakes up.”

Purrrr. Purrrr.

The cat’s chest rumbled like distant thunder.

Tantai Tian dried the sleepy cat without a word.

He lifted the paws to dry the fur under the arms, and dried the fur around the rump as well.

Half-asleep, Rendong threw several little cat tantrums along the way, but nothing stopped Tantai Tian’s hands. In the end, the cat, dried soft and fluffy, burrowed groggily into the man’s sleeve, tucking away everything down to his rump.

Tantai Tian felt that tiny breath against him. This whole night’s ordeal had left him in a tangled mess, yet his handsome face was utterly calm, as if the simple motions were slowly pressing down the violent emotions within.

His gaze drifted over the gourd ladle Rendong had so thoroughly enjoyed playing with.

The day before, the Imperial Cat Bureau had delivered a great many supplies for the kitten, all ordered hastily made after Tantai Tian’s ascension. When Yu Zeming reported it to him, on a whim he had summoned the steward of the Imperial Cat Bureau for questioning.

The steward eunuch had glowed with pride at the honor.

But when the New Emperor asked whether something might be wrong with the kitten’s health, since it purred constantly whenever he was near, the steward’s face shifted again and again. Finally he answered delicately, “Your Majesty, that means the cat feels safe with you. It likes you very much.”

Tantai Tian’s palm cradled Rendong’s little head inside his sleeve.

Even now, the purring droned on and on.

His palm was so warm.

Warmth of another body was spreading through it.

A predatory excitement, suppressed to its very limit, crept across Tantai Tian’s face without his awareness, like a beast on the eve of the hunt, its pupils brimming with plundering, fevered desire.

That hunting urge, which had shattered his cold composure for an instant, was strange indeed. It had been a long time since Tantai Tian had felt such an impulse. To plunder, to touch, to excite, to devour… The moment flesh touched flesh, some sadistic craving had surged up.

In this present age when no one dared come near him, Tantai Tian had believed that burning hunger would never resurface. So even this pitiful, tiny illusory creature could stir such longing?

Tantai Tian gave a low laugh, without a trace of self-reflection.

His damp hair curled slightly, falling loose across his forehead, and one hand idly pushed it back.

“Yu Zeming.”

At Tantai Tian’s raised voice, Yu Zeming appeared at once.

“The medicine.”

The small medicinal pills were presented without delay.

A single dose was supposed to be three pills. But this time, with one lift of His Majesty’s hand, he swallowed six or seven at once.

Yu Zeming’s face went white, and he dropped to his knees with a thud, his voice trembling. “Your Majesty…” What was going on? Could the Little Ancestor not soothe His Majesty after all? Why else would His Majesty take so much medicine at once?

Too much was as bad as too little.

Medicine in excess was poison.

Tantai Tian picked up the teacup at his hand.

The tea had gone cold. He didn’t call for a fresh cup. He simply swallowed the icy tea, letting it do its tiny, negligible part against the scorching heat inside.

Then he crushed the teacup in his hand.

He simply squeezed the shards tight in his grip.

The scent of blood dripped down, and he let out a long sigh that sounded almost satisfied.

Rendong, tucked away in his sleeve, seemed to smell something. His paws kneaded once, twice, half awake.

The hand he was nestled against stroked the cat’s back at an unhurried pace.

One gentle pat after another.

All that frenzied heat, all those shrieking voices in his skull,

finally, as the medicine took hold, sank into silence bit by bit, like ice sealing over.