Chapter 15
One hour later.
The frogs outside had stopped croaking.
Song Shuci had clearly fallen asleep.
However…
Jian Wu clenched one fist, the other hand crumpling a corner of the sheet, his face ashen.
Insomnia doesn’t disappear, it just gets transferred.
He angrily turned over and made a punching motion at the peacefully sleeping face of the man who had just claimed to have insomnia.
Although the punch didn’t connect, perhaps because the motion was so forceful, it created a small gust of wind that lightly ruffled the hair on Song Shuci’s forehead.
The room was completely dark, but Jian Wu had been awake for so long that his eyes had gradually adjusted to the darkness.
His gaze followed the strands of hair, falling on Song Shuci’s sleeping face, and a subtle ripple of emotion stirred within him.
Although they had grown up together, it wasn’t until their seventh year together that they finally had their own “world for two” in a rented apartment in City A.
At that time, Song Shuci was very busy with his studies, often returning after midnight and waking up before 7 am.
For Jian Wu, most of the time, he was only half-awake, vaguely aware that Song Shuci had come back, and that Song Shuci had left again.
Thinking about it carefully, moments like tonight, where he was awake and Song Shuci was asleep, weren’t many.
Perhaps because he was always under a lot of pressure, Song Shuci often frowned in his sleep. His eyebrows were dark but not thick, giving him a somewhat aloof and heroic look when his eyes were closed.
But Jian Wu didn’t like him frowning.
He tentatively extended a finger, hovering about two millimeters above Song Shuci’s brow, and gently rubbed it as if performing a ritual, carefully smoothing both eyebrows.
Perhaps sensing something, Song Shuci suddenly turned over. Jian Wu quickly withdrew his hand, pulled the quilt over his face, and pretended to sleep.
Fortunately, the man only adjusted his position and didn’t wake up.
Jian Wu listened to Song Shuci’s breathing for a while, confirming it was even and steady, definitely not pretending to sleep. He opened his eyes again and tucked the quilt around Song Shuci.
As he withdrew his hand, his gaze suddenly fell on Song Shuci’s earlobe.
It was dark, and he could only vaguely see its outline. After a moment of hesitation, Jian Wu half-covered the light and turned on his phone’s flashlight.
A small beam of light shone through the tiny gap between his fingers, not bright enough to disturb Song Shuci, but just enough for him to see clearly.
The man’s right earlobe was smooth and intact, without any scars.
Jian Wu pursed his lips, a complex look in his eyes.
Song Shuci had good taste and loved fashion. He was the type who knew he was handsome and was keen on making himself even more handsome.
He got his ears pierced after graduating high school, and not content with just piercing his own, he also tried to persuade Jian Wu to get his pierced after graduation, saying they could buy a pair of earrings and share them, the perfect item for showing off their love.
When it came to showing affection, teenage Song Shuci and Jian Wu were on completely different levels.
From setting his phone wallpaper and social media profile pictures to their photos, to coming out on the first day of university during the icebreaker activity when asked if he had a girlfriend, there was nothing the newly enrolled Song Shuci wouldn’t dare to do.
And after being called in by his advisor for publicly coming out, not only did he not repent, he even printed Jian Wu’s photo onto a badge and hung it on his bag, as if wanting to tell the whole world he had a wonderful boyfriend.
If it weren’t for Jian Wu stopping him, he felt that with Song Shuci’s enthusiasm at the time, he might even have written a book about them and sold it throughout the school, showcasing their love from every angle.
Compared to that, getting his ears pierced was really no big deal.
But when he finished high school and got into university in City A, and Song Shuci actually took him to the hospital, seeing the doctor holding the anesthetic-filled syringe, he still couldn’t control his urge to run.
The consequence of being afraid of pain was Song Shuci chasing him around A Medical University for two laps. Finally, after negotiations, they reached an unequal treaty where he was responsible for all of Song Shuci’s earrings, ending the incident.
Jian Wu kept his promise, buying Song Shuci an earring every year, completely taking charge of his ear piercings.
And Song Shuci almost never took off his earrings. Whenever someone complimented them, he would say casually: “My boyfriend gave them to me.”
Until one day, Jian Wu belatedly realized Song Shuci hadn’t worn earrings for a long time.
He casually asked why he had taken them off, and Song Shuci replied equally casually: “Mm, I put them away.”
Whenever Song Shuci encountered a question he didn’t want to answer, he would repeat the question in a different way. Jian Wu even thought that if Song Shuci couldn’t graduate with his PhD, he could totally become an editor at UC with his talent for talking nonsense.
Time really flew by. Jian Wu looked at Song Shuci’s fully healed earlobe and thought, it had only been four years.
An earlobe that had worn earrings for so many years could return to its original state in just four years.
A seven-year relationship could also end just like that.
Perhaps time could never be used to measure feelings.
He turned off the flashlight and curled his lips, his emotions unclear.
He and Song Shuci had been childhood sweethearts for over twenty years, dated for seven years, and been broken up for four years.
He heard that on the day he was born, besides the doctors and nurses, the first person he saw was his mother, the second was his father, and the third was Song Shuci, who was about ten months old.
He and Song Shuci were neighbors, their parents were best friends.
When his mother was giving birth, Song Shuci’s parents waited outside the delivery room with his father for half a day. After he was born, a group of people surrounded his mother, offering their congratulations, while Song Shuci crawled around beside him, and supposedly even called him “dad.”
Of course, these were stories told when the two families got together to reminisce. Jian Wu couldn’t possibly remember, and Song Shuci himself refused to acknowledge it ever happened. To get back at him, he often forced Jian Wu to call him “dad” when they were young, trying to claim him as his son.
Until Jian Wu’s father passed away.
His father’s death was sudden. He was only in ninth grade at the time. So Song Shuci moved in with him, accompanying him every day, eating, sleeping, and playing with him, helping him through the most difficult time.
Later, he also went to high school.
Perhaps it was the hormones of puberty, but after a while in high school, Song Shuci suddenly started pursuing him.
Their back-and-forth lasted for almost a year. Finally, in the last semester of Song Shuci’s senior year, they officially went from childhood sweethearts to lovers.
Their seven-year relationship spanned his youth.
From Jian Wu’s seventeen to twenty-four years old, from adolescence to adulthood, they endured the longing of a long-distance relationship, the pressure from their families, and the trials of time…
But in the end, it all ended abruptly after an argument.
Four years had passed in a flash.
Jian Wu clicked his tongue softly, a little annoyed that his unruly brain loved to reminisce so much.
He turned over, his back to Song Shuci, deciding to distance himself from the culprit of these memories.
But perhaps because the night was long and serotonin secretion decreased, not only could he not sleep, but fragments of the past also flashed through his mind like a slideshow, like endless pop-up ads on some web pages, impossible to close.
He banged his head against the pillow and, in frustration, unscrewed Song Shuci’s pill bottle, deciding to give up resisting and just solve the problem with medication.
However, when the small white bottle labeled “estazolam” was opened, Jian Wu discovered it wasn’t filled with sleep-inducing pills, but with several colorful small wooden beads.
They looked a bit like the ones Song Shuci had bought at a stall in the scenic area today.
So–
Anger was indeed the best antidote to sadness. Jian Wu, who had just been feeling a little emotional, instantly snapped out of it. He realized: Song Shuci hadn’t intended to take any pills at all.
That vulnerable, helpless act was all for show!
Unbelievable.
Jian Wu tightly screwed the cap back on, turned, and glared at Song Shuci. Unfortunately, the latter was oblivious, still sound asleep.
He was fuming, but he couldn’t bring himself to wake Song Shuci up, so he could only lie down, holding back his anger.
Without medication to help him sleep, Jian Wu opened his phone, wanting to distract himself with external information and prevent his overly active brain from thinking about his past with Song Shuci.
But at times like these, the trivial information online seemed even more boring.
Jian Wu listlessly opened and scrolled through various apps, then opened and browsed various video platforms. His hands seemed busy, but his mind, like a pop-up ad, inexplicably conjured up the image of him squatting naked at the bathroom door, staring at Song Shuci.
Fuck.
Why hadn’t neuroscience developed a memory erasure technique yet?
He closed his eyes, trying to dispel the image, but memories were like whack-a-mole. As soon as one image disappeared, a sound would pop up.
Song Shuci’s words, “Getting an erection after receiving visual stimulation from a former sexual partner is a normal physiological phenomenon,” echoed in his ears, as if played on repeat with surround sound.
Perhaps out of defiance from hearing it too much, Jian Wu began to doubt the veracity of this statement.
He unlocked his phone again, opened NCBI, went to PubMed, and typed in “Erectile dysfunction.”
This phrase itself was a medical condition, not the title of a specific research paper, so there were many search results.
Jian Wu didn’t know which paper Song Shuci was referring to, so to be thorough, he opened and scanned the abstracts of the top few review articles.
Although the abstracts didn’t seem to have anything to do with what Song Shuci had said, trusting Song Shuci, Jian Wu still clicked on the full text.
The small phone screen was inconvenient, and his English wasn’t fluent enough to read without any obstacles, so he had to rely on translation from time to time.
After two hours of arduous reading, Jian Wu closed his phone with a deadpan expression, finally convinced that, as expected, Song Shuci was lying to him again.
He was already annoyed, and after reading these papers, he was even more furious.
Rage welled up in his heart, and evil thoughts arose. He glared at Song Shuci, pondered for a moment, and decided to temporarily abandon his kindness and compassion.
In the silent night, the young man turned on his phone’s flashlight and placed it under his chin, casting a pale, eerie light onto his face.
The advantage of having fair skin was fully displayed at this moment. Coupled with the resentment emanating from him after reading the papers, it was doubly terrifying.
He gently tugged on Song Shuci’s collar, leaned close, and whispered eerily: “Song Shuci… wake up… Song Shuci… wake up…”
Perhaps because he vaguely heard a voice in his sleep, Song Shuci, who had been sleeping on his side with his back to him, turned over. Jian Wu was too close and didn’t have time to retreat, his arm, which was propping him up, bumped into Song Shuci.
He let out a muffled groan of pain. Before he could react, Song Shuci suddenly opened his eyes.
Their eyes met unexpectedly, and Jian Wu froze guiltily, his creepy whisper stuck in his throat.
But in that moment of his daze, a strong force suddenly pressed down on him. Jian Wu only had time to let out a yelp before Song Shuci pinned him beneath him.
