We Can’t Go Back 53

Chapter 53

Early summer arrived, and with it, Jian Yu and Zhao Bin’s wedding.

Jian Wu, tasked with officiating the wedding, was nervously rehearsing his lines in the dressing room. Song Shuci tried to get his attention, pacing around him several times, but failed to elicit a response, so he finally spoke, “You stand on the podium every day, and you’re getting nervous now?”

Jian Wu glared at him: “Easy for you to say.”

“I’m clearly sitting,” Song Shuci said.

“Tch.” Jian Wu glanced at the time, put down his script, and put on his suit. He rarely wore such formal clothes and, feeling a little uncomfortable, looked at himself in the mirror, instinctively seeking validation: “How is it? Does it look alright?”

Song Shuci didn’t speak for a while. Jian Wu urged him: “Say something.”

“I’m looking,” Song Shuci’s voice came from behind him.

“So slow,” Jian Wu sat down impatiently and happened to meet Song Shuci’s gaze in the mirror. Song Shuci was also looking at him through the mirror, but not at his clothes, at his eyes.

“Hey,” Song Shuci suddenly asked him through the mirror, “If you were getting married, would you wear a suit or a wedding dress?”

“Obviously,” Jian Wu wondered what was going on in his mind, “A suit, of course.”

Song Shuci’s tone seemed slightly disappointed: “You used to stare at the wedding dress shop by our house for a long time, I thought you really liked wedding dresses.”

This was when Jian Wu was in elementary school. He hadn’t expected Song Shuci to still remember. He admitted: “When you watch so many dramas… you can’t help but have some fantasies.”

“Fantasies about what?”

“Just… my future wife appearing before me in the most beautiful dress.”

After all, at that time, Jian Wu still subscribed to the conventional marriage model of one man and one woman. Influenced by TV dramas, he also instinctively yearned for such a scene of conventional happiness.

Song Shuci agreed, “Indeed very beautiful.”

“But there’s no point thinking about these things now,” Jian Wu shook his head, “We won’t have wives in this lifetime.”

“But you can still wear one, I’m looking forward to it.”

Jian Wu rolled his eyes at him: “What are you thinking?”

“Coward.”

“You’re the coward, why don’t you wear one?” Jian Wu deliberately pulled up the photo of Song Shuci wearing a dress as a child on his phone and showed it to him, “You look good in a dress, right?”

“…” Song Shuci’s face burned at the sight of the photo, “Can you delete that photo?”

“No.” Jian Wu put away his phone before he could grab it, pocketed his script, and left.

The wedding was held on a lawn. The lush green grass was decorated with beautiful ornaments. Jian Wu went over the procedures a few more times, and finally, it was time to begin.

Jian Yu and Zhao Bin, being middle-aged, preferred simplicity and elegance for their wedding, so there weren’t any complicated rituals. They stood together in the center of the lawn, greeted their relatives and friends, and read their letters to each other under everyone’s blessings. Both elders were good at writing letters, their sincere and heartfelt words, read in gentle voices, filled with warmth and love.

The flower children presented them with the rings, and Jian Wu took the microphone and went on stage to officiate. After the usual formalities, it was time for the vows. This was a part Jian Yu had specifically requested to be added. Jian Wu mentally reviewed his script and looked at the kind and gentle man in a gray suit: “Mr. Zhao, do you take this woman beside you to be your wife, to support each other, trust each other, and stay together until old age?”

Zhao Bin looked at Jian Yu and said in a steady voice: “I do.”

“Then Ms. Jian…” Jian Wu looked at his mother in her beautiful wedding dress and said gently, “Do you take this man beside you to be your husband, to accompany you for the rest of your life, until death do you part?”

Jian Yu looked at him first, then at Zhao Bin: “I do.”

As her soft but firm voice faded, a “bang” sounded. As everyone looked up, attracted by the sound, dazzling golden ribbons rained down like shimmering rain in the sunlight. The middle-aged couple, finally together, embraced each other in the sentimental music. Jian Wu silently turned off the microphone and applauded enthusiastically.

As the wedding planner, every detail was within his expectations, every scene unfolded as rehearsed and planned, but at this moment, his eyes still teared up slightly.

Being at such a happy and beautiful wedding, it was easy to be moved by the genuine emotions displayed, but amidst the emotion, Jian Wu still remembered the look Jian Yu gave him before the vows.

Perhaps in that moment, Jian Yu was looking at her deceased husband through him, a silent, solemn farewell.

From now on, his mother had a new marriage.

Everyone at the wedding was happy. Amidst the cheers, he finished his last lines, brought the wedding atmosphere to a climax, and left the venue.

He wanted to find a place to be alone for a while, but after taking a few steps, he saw Song Shuci in the corner. He seemed to have been waiting there for a long time and wasn’t surprised to see him.

The other guests were being led to the dining area by the hotel staff. Jian Wu paused and asked him: “Aren’t you going to eat?”

Song Shuci shook his head, walked forward, and, like Zhao Bin embracing his mother, hugged him.

The wedding ended perfectly. Jian Yu, being middle-aged, couldn’t handle the exhaustion and went back to rest after the ceremony. Jian Wu and Song Shuci stayed at the hotel to clean up and settle the bills. By the time they left, looking exhausted, the sun had already set.

Song Shuci entered the address in the ride-hailing app and asked, “Going home?”

Jian Wu was silent for a while, then said: “Why don’t you go back first, I want to go for a drink.”

“Didn’t I tell you to drink less?”

“I haven’t had a drink in a long time.”

“Then I’ll go with you,” Song Shuci asked, “Where do you want to go? The riverside?”

Jian Wu snapped his fingers: “Okay.”

They took a taxi to the riverside, bought a case of beer from a nearby convenience store, and sat down on the riverbank. The riverbank was bustling at this hour. Children, free from school for the summer, were playing in the water, and elderly people were gathered in the nearby park, dancing to loud music.

July was approaching, and the weather was getting hot. Although the evening river breeze was refreshing, the summer heat lingered.

Jian Wu had finally caught his breath after sending his students off to the exam and preparing for the wedding. He expertly opened a bottle of beer and took two large gulps. The icy bubbles exploded in his mouth and throat, cooling him down, and he couldn’t help but let out a few sighs of satisfaction.

Song Shuci took the bottle opener from him, also opened a bottle, and, enjoying the river breeze, asked him: “Are you happy today?”

“Honestly?”

“Mm.”

Jian Wu chuckled without much emotion: “Happy… but not completely happy.”

“Seeing my mom so happy today, I was very happy for her. Listening to their vows, I was very touched, but maybe I’m being selfish…” Jian Wu looked at the river, as if zoning out, “Seeing Uncle Zhao, I still couldn’t help but think, it would be great if my dad were still here.”

Song Shuci looked at him, put his arm around his shoulder.

“Time really flies, it’s been almost fourteen years since my dad passed away,” Jian Wu rested his chin on his hand, reminiscing, “I still remember when I was young, during summer, when it was hot, my dad would lay out a bamboo mat in the living room, and my mom and I would sit on it and watch TV, while my dad fed us chilled watermelon. The characters in the TV drama were having a wedding, and my mom would complain that my dad never gave her a wedding ceremony.”

He chuckled, “But she wasn’t really complaining. And every time she said that, my dad would say seriously, ‘Although we can’t have a wedding ceremony now, we can still exchange vows,’ then he would imitate the TV drama and exchange vows with my mom… always making me the ‘officiant’.”

“Wedding vows are so beautiful,” he lowered his eyes, looking at the boats on the river, his gaze slightly unfocused, “Even though you know they might not come true, every time you say them, it still feels beautiful in that moment.”

“Mm,” Song Shuci nodded, “Indeed very beautiful.”

Jian Wu smiled, took a sip of beer, and after a moment, felt a warmth on the back of his head. He could feel Song Shuci’s hand on his neck and ear, gently resting his head on his shoulder.

This was a rather intimate gesture. Jian Wu should have pulled away, but perhaps he was really tired, he didn’t want to move. So he leaned against Song Shuci’s shoulder, letting the man hold the back of his neck and play with his hair, a silent comfort.

He had a high tolerance for alcohol and wasn’t drunk after several bottles, just a little lightheaded, a mix of drowsiness and excitement.

Someone by the river was snorkeling despite the “No Swimming” sign. Caught by the patrol, they were scolded and told to come out. Jian Wu pulled Song Shuci over to watch the commotion, then leaned against the railing, using a beer bottle as a microphone, and sang towards the river like he did when he was young.

Everything seemed just like when he was seventeen or eighteen, except the school uniform was now a suit.

He got carried away singing and even tried to make Song Shuci sing. After being forced to sing, he complained that Song Shuci’s singing was bad and told him to stop.

Song Shuci helplessly sang and stopped along with him. Just as they were getting into it, Jian Wu suddenly turned around and said: “Let’s go back.”

“Not staying a little longer?” Song Shuci asked.

“No, I have something… to give you.”

Song Shuci raised an eyebrow slightly. Jian Wu had already picked up the remaining half-case of beer and was walking towards the road. Song Shuci caught up and took his hand, and Jian Wu didn’t pull away.

They returned home, opened the door, and Jian Wu told Song Shuci to wait in the living room, then took off his suit jacket, tossed it aside, and mysteriously went to the kitchen.

He looked over curiously and saw Jian Wu bring out a cake from the fridge.

“Happy birthday!”