Chapter 4
Lin Queli mustered his courage, thinking that no matter what, Helan Xue wouldn’t kill a poor, frail little disciple who couldn’t take care of himself, right?
He propped himself up, reached out to tug on the hem of Helan Xue’s robe, and put on a voice even more saccharine than when he pretended to be a girl in online games. “Shizun, why are you in such a hurry to send me away? The night is dark and the wind is high, and this mountain is so desolate. I’ll be too scared to sleep if I go back alone. My heart will be pounding so much I won’t be able to sleep.”
With that, Lin Queli leaned forward, deliberately pulling his already open collar even wider, vaguely revealing his delicate collarbones and a soft, fair chest. With a slight tilt of his body, his robe fell open, exposing his calf, and his dark hair cascaded over his shoulders.
【Impressive.】
Of course.
This is how they always do it in the TV dramas!
Lin Queli looked at Helan Xue with hopeful eyes. “Shizun, can you feel my heart? See if it’s pounding?”
He was just about to take Helan Xue’s hand when Helan Xue spoke.
“Now that you are staying in the Cangsheng Sect, you must abide by the sect rules.”
Helan Xue’s voice was already cold, but now his tone was even stricter. “The first rule of my Myriad Sword Sect is a pure heart, a righteous heart, and a solemn heart. Do you know what this means?”
Lin Queli blinked. “Umm…?”
Helan Xue: “A gentleman straightens his robes and cap, and maintains a dignified gaze, so that others look upon him with awe. Is that not being imposing without being fierce?”
Lin Queli: “Huh?”
What?
“Immortal Lord Changming mentioned in his letter that you are usually careless and lazy. Little do you know, a gentleman straightens his robes and cap. If even your attire is as disorderly as this, and your hair is disheveled, how can you have the heart to persevere in cultivation?”
“Shizun…” Lin Queli’s voice softened even more.
“Secondly,” Helan Xue’s voice grew colder, “a cultivator’s qi being weak and unstable is a great taboo. How can you protect the world with such a frail body?”
Lin Queli: “…”
He was now behaving himself.
System, does this Long Aotian really have to be born?
Lin Queli managed to squeeze out a sentence, “This disciple… knows his mistake.”
Good news: he had successfully become Helan Xue’s semi-disciple.
Bad news: he got scolded in his very first lesson.
Worse news: Helan Xue seemed to really dislike him.
Helan Xue played with his prayer beads and said lightly, “Still not leaving… Do you need This Venerable to help you out?”
“…!!”
That probably wouldn’t be a very dignified exit.
Lin Queli slipped to the door like a greased eel. “This disciple takes his leave, I’ll leave right now, immediately! This disciple will be gone for the entire night!”
He didn’t want to be thrown out by Helan Xue, or carried out in two pieces.
But just before he left…
Lin Queli turned, leaning against the doorframe, and asked with pleading eyes, “This disciple promises this is the last time I’ll disturb Shizun. It’s just… when will Shizun start teaching this disciple cultivation?”
Like, should he report for duty tomorrow or something?
Lin Queli had come to a profound realization: ordinary seduction and showing weakness couldn’t move this Asura-like god of death. He needed to fight for more time together to find a new breakthrough.
Swoosh—
A gust of fierce wind hit him head-on. Lin Queli’s vision blurred, and his body was abruptly lifted into the air.
Thump!
After being slammed onto the snow, Lin Queli was dizzy for a good while before he could get up.
Seriously, if you don’t want to say, just don’t say it! Did you have to throw me out!
Ptooey, ptooey, ptooey, god of death! Dense straight man!
May you die alone!
It was said that the wind and snow on this Myriad Sword Mountain were formed by a single thought of spiritual energy from a powerhouse like Helan Xue during his cultivation. Lin Queli looked at the once again tightly shut door, puffed up his cheeks, and stomped on the snow on the ground with great force, as a form of revenge.
Just then, Ji Chun returned. After reporting to Helan Xue and getting his approval, he was ready to take Lin Queli to his room.
“By the way.”
Ji Chun walked towards Lin Queli, holding a tray. “This is from the Xianzun for you. You should cherish it.”
On the tray was a translucent, thin string made of immortal energy, with a single red bead strung on it.
Lin Queli was a little surprised. The color and shape were so similar to Helan Xue’s cinnabar prayer beads.
Ji Chun explained, “The Xianzun is extremely busy and naturally cannot teach you everything personally. But this bead is one taken from the string on the Xianzun’s own hand. It contains a fraction of the Xianzun’s cultivation, so it can detect and know the progress of your cultivation.”
Lin Queli was stunned, his face falling. “Oh… Shizun isn’t going to teach me?”
He promised to take me as a disciple, but in the end, he just fobbed me off with a single bead for supervision?
Ji Chun: “Young Master Lin’s foundation is currently unstable, and your cultivation is too low. There isn’t much difference between learning from the Xianzun, the elders, or the other high-level outer-sect disciples.”
Indeed, Helan Xue was high and mighty, his cultivation earth-shattering. It was natural that he wouldn’t pay much attention to this semi-disciple. After all, as Ji Chun said, why use a sledgehammer to crack a nut?
But how was he supposed to develop a relationship with Helan Xue like this?
Ji Chun smiled. “Young Master Lin doesn’t need to worry too much. Cultivate well, and once you’ve made progress, Shizun will naturally teach you everything he knows.”
Lin Queli’s face fell even further.
He didn’t care about cultivation; he just wanted to sleep with the Xianzun.
But after Lin Queli put on the bracelet, he suddenly felt his wrist tighten and his whole body go limp. He had just stood up, but now he was on his knees again.
What was going on?!
Lin Queli was puzzled, but an overly scorching heat spread from his wrist. He felt as if he had been electrocuted, trembling all over, and sat in the snow, unable to get up for a long time.
Thanks for asking, he had been standing for less than fifteen minutes and was on his knees again.
When the scalding bead touched the delicate skin of his wrist, it was as if some spiritual energy was trying to rush into his body, carrying an immense aggressive force.
Lin Queli panicked and tried to take it off, but he couldn’t move it at all. It even burned his fingers red.
“Mmm…” Lin Queli held up his hand pitifully. “This bracelet…”
Ji Chun quickly knelt down, infusing spiritual energy into Lin Queli’s bracelet while coaxing him, “Don’t be afraid, don’t be afraid… This bead contains a fraction of the Xianzun’s cultivation. It must be that your body is too weak to handle it right now. I’ll help you suppress it. But this bracelet is a good thing. Young Master Lin, please endure it and don’t throw it away. With the Xianzun’s cultivation in it, it can not only be used to calm your mind but also to ward off demons. If any ill-intentioned demon cultivators try to harm you, this bead will emit spiritual energy.”
Ji Chun looked at the “frail and weak” Lin Queli before him and thought to himself, this bead is the perfect gift!
Lin ‘The Biggest Demon Himself’ Queli: “?”
Huh?
Okay, case closed.
It wasn’t because his body was weak or his cultivation was low, but because he was the Demon Lord!
It was a good thing his cultivation was low and he didn’t know how to use spiritual energy, otherwise, the bracelet’s reaction would have been even stronger!
In the future, if he used any demonic techniques or did anything bad, he would probably be killed on the spot by this bracelet…
Lin Queli broke out in a cold sweat, wanting to cry but having no tears.
Good news: he had received a protective talisman from his Shizun to ward off demons.
Bad news: the demon was me.
And Ji Chun was even advising him not to throw it away. Bro, even if he wanted to throw it away, he couldn’t. It felt like it was welded to his hand.
After Ji Chun infused spiritual energy for a while, the bracelet slowly calmed down.
Lin Queli propped himself up on his legs and shakily got to his feet, thinking that he hadn’t been standing for long all night, and he’d better not kneel again.
After confirming that the bracelet was no longer acting up, Lin Queli quietly breathed a sigh of relief.
Ji Chun prompted, “Young Master Lin, shouldn’t you thank the Xianzun? This is a protective talisman from him for you!”
The corner of Lin Queli’s mouth twitched.
He turned to look at the tightly shut door and said with a pout, “Thank you, Shizun!”
Naturally, there was no response from inside. Lin Queli quietly stomped on the snow again with force.
Then he dusted the snow off his butt and followed Ji Chun back to his room.
…
The Myriad Sword Mountain grew colder as the night deepened. Lin Queli, now dressed in thick clothes, curled up under the covers, fiddling with the cinnabar bracelet that he still couldn’t take off while debriefing with the System.
He had successfully managed to stay in the Myriad Sword Sect…
First, he had to behave himself and not get himself killed by stealing some sacred artifact or doing something bad like the original Demon Lord. Second, his mission—to give birth to the Long Aotian.
“This is absurd, too absurd! Can Taxue Xianzun really be seduced? What’s the difference between this and seducing an NPC? This is too inefficient. By the time the Xianzun is willing to do it with me, the cultivation world will have evolved artificial insemination technology.”
Lin Queli took a deep breath.
“Da Zhuang, I think I need to find another way. I’ll just find a chance to drug him and then force myself on him. The sooner I finish the mission, the sooner I can get out of here!”
【Huh?】
【That’s not impossible, but with Taxue Xianzun’s golden body cultivation, mortal aphrodisiacs won’t work on him. He’s not even afraid of poison.】
Lin Queli was troubled. “Ah, so drugging him won’t work…”
【There is another way! We can spend points to exchange for top-tier drugs from other dimensions, like the ABO dimension or the Haitang dimension. I guarantee that even Fahai would get a rise!】
(TN: Fahai is a famously stoic and celibate monk from the Legend of the White Snake.)
Lin Queli: “Bring it to me at once!”
If it was for drugging, he was willing to spend the points!
As expected, where there’s a will, there’s a way!
【Host… you don’t have enough points to exchange for it. And unless it involves life and death, like the rewind and the heat pack before, I can’t apply for you to go into debt.】
Lin Queli: “…Drag him out and behead him.”
…The light at the end of the tunnel was just an oncoming train.
【Sob.】
Lin Queli was in agony. “Besides giving birth to the Long Aotian, is there no other way to earn points?”
Although the points earned from giving birth to the Long Aotian would be enough for Lin Queli to directly exchange for items to return to his original world, it was too difficult to make any progress before that.
【There is.】
【If you want to earn points, the Host can spend 100 points to activate a membership. Ah, you can use the debt function to activate the membership. After activation, you can earn points by getting close to the target, which is Helan Xue! Let me see… a touch +1, a hug +2, a kiss +5…】
Lin Queli: “…”
This was profiteering to the point of outrage.
Activating the membership and almost every item cost three digits, but physical contact only gave one or two points?
A kiss for a heat pack, was that it?! The System’s pricing was so absurd it could open the door for Helan Xue, absurd to the extreme.
【Host, do you want to activate the membership?】
“Activate your father.”
【Oh.】
A moment later.
“…Activate it.”
Lin Queli gritted his teeth, feeling like he was being exploited by a black-hearted capitalist.
But he had no other choice right now; he really needed the points.
But according to Ji Chun, Helan Xue had now gone into seclusion in the Ice Cave Abode. If nothing happened, he wouldn’t be able to see Helan Xue for a while.
So how could he get close to Helan Xue?
Lin Queli had been “infected” by Helan Xue and also started to fiddle with his bracelet while thinking.
“What if I break into the Ice Cave Abode, bring Shizun tea in the morning, noon, and night, and then secretly touch his little hand?”
【You can try!】
“When Shizun is tired, I’ll give him a massage to show my filial piety! Touch him all over!”
【Impressive!】
The future seemed more and more hopeful with this back-and-forth between man and system.
…
On the other side.
Helan Xue was meditating in the Ice Cave Abode in the back mountains. Then, as if remembering something, he held the cinnabar beads and focused his cultivation.
Helan Xue felt that there was something strange about Lin Queli. The spiritual energy in Lin Queli’s body was sometimes abundant and powerful, as if he had a high cultivation level; at other times, it was undetectable, and his body was also very weak.
It was as if there was a strong sense of fragmentation, and this spiritual energy was also shielded by a presence he couldn’t perceive, as if it were hidden.
Unfortunately, even the prayer beads couldn’t detect this unknown power.
Just then, Helan Xue felt a warm, soft touch gently brush across his placid sea of consciousness. It must be Lin Queli’s hand stroking the cinnabar bead.
If Helan Xue circulated his spiritual energy while Lin Queli was stroking the bead, he could share a sensory link with the bracelet and hear the sounds around it, but the probability of this was very small.
But he had encountered it just now. Helan Xue was about to stop, but then he heard Lin Queli’s voice.
—Secretly touch his little hand?
“…”
—Touch him all over?
“…?”
