Chapter 2: Elusive as a Ghost
After watching Fu Yunzhi enter the manor, Qi Xiao remained standing outside, his gaze fixed on the long-closed archway, though what he was looking at was anyone’s guess.
The evening breeze brushed against his cheeks. He didn’t know how long he had been standing there when he saw a figure striding briskly toward him. The man was tall with a cold, handsome face—it was none other than the head of the Inspectorate, Qi Shaoling.
Qi Shaoling stopped in front of Qi Xiao. “I went to the Qi manor to find you. You weren’t there.”
“So you came here to find me?” Qi Xiao wondered silently. How did Qi Shaoling know I was here?
Qi Shaoling shook his head.
“Since I couldn’t find you, I had no choice but to come to the Fu manor to borrow some memorials.”
Qi Xiao thought he had misheard. “You what? Borrow what?”
Inspector Qi—Qi Shaoling—was famously cold and rarely smiled, a man who cherished his words like gold. Having explained his purpose, he said nothing more.
Qi Xiao looked at the silent man walking beside him, his mind in a bit of a fog.
Qi Shaoling said he had been looking for Qi Xiao, but since he wasn’t home, Qi Shaoling had to go to the Fu manor… to borrow official memorials. But the court distributed more than enough blank memorials to every minister each month. Even that Censor Zhang, who loved to find fault and was so old his eyes were failing, couldn’t use them all up. So how could a man as frigid as Inspector Qi, who didn’t even bother submitting routine courtesy greetings, run out?
Seeing Qi Xiao staring at him, Qi Shaoling was forced to add, “They were stolen by a thief.”
Hearing this, Qi Xiao’s eyes widened even further.
Stealing from Qi Shaoling? What petty thief had such a death wish, breaking into the manor of the head of the Inspectorate to steal things! And not gold or jewels, but blank memorials? Without the Inspector’s official seal, what kind of mischief could you even cause with stolen memorials?
Not that Qi Xiao knew how one would cause mischief with memorials anyway…
Qi Xiao thought for a moment, then clapped his hands together. “I’ve got it!”
Qi Shaoling looked at him.
Qi Xiao declared with righteous conviction, “I bet that thief has fallen in love with you, Shaoling.”
He looked smug. That’s how it always plays out in the TV dramas.
Qi Shaoling turned and walked away without a backward glance.
“Hey, Shaoling, wait for me! I’m telling you, this is exactly how it’s written in the storybooks! People who can’t stand each other at first end up becoming lovers, or they get into one of those love-hate, kill-each-other relationships! I’ve recently discovered that the ‘bickering lovers’ trope is especially popular with the common folk. I’ve made so much money selling those stories my hands have gone soft from counting it.”
Qi Shaoling: “…”
Why did this man always discuss such ridiculous topics with such a dead-serious expression?
“That’s probably why the story of the Martial Arts Alliance Chief and the Demonic Cult Leader is such an evergreen. To be honest, my book, The Domineering Alliance Chief’s Vicious Cult Leader, is still a bestseller.”
“I don’t read them,” Qi Shaoling said stiffly.
“You mean no matter how much I praise you, you still won’t read it, right?” Qi Xiao said with regret. “As my dear friend, can’t you show a little support?”
He desperately wanted someone to have a rational discussion about plot with him. He was completely out of inspiration lately. Back in his old life, he at least had his online buddies, his editor, and other novels to give him ideas. But the popular storybooks on the market now were all about scholars and beauties or tragic romances between humans and ghosts. As for the works of great scholars and literary masters, their prose was too high-brow for him to understand.
And the common folk?
No, that wouldn’t do! Leaving aside whether it would tarnish his imposing image as a battle-hardened general, the readers’ reviews were all just, “Ahhhh, the Alliance Chief is so handsome!” “Ahhhh, the Cult Leader is so beautiful!” and “Ahhhh, the Alliance Chief is so ‘big’!”
General Qi sighed. How was he supposed to live a life where both his career and his love life were in shambles?
The two of them walked to the Qi manor, exchanging a few words here and there.
In the rear courtyard of the Qi manor, after Qi Xiao solemnly swore that he would help Qi Shaoling catch the thief, Qi Shaoling began to recount his “ordeal.”
He had been plagued by this petty thief—the “Red Longevity Peach”—for several months. He called the thief that because after every crime, a red-painted carving of a longevity peach would be left at the scene. But while this Red Longevity Peach was highly skilled, he wasn’t well-known in the Jianghu, likely because he had only committed three crimes.
But upon closer investigation, Qi Shaoling was astonished. Although there were only three cases, the victims were no small fries.
The first victim was the master of the Duanmu family. Duanmu Villa was the most prestigious estate in the Jianghu, and it went without saying that its guards were numerous and highly skilled. Yet the Red Longevity Peach had slipped in and out as if it were his own home, stealing twenty-seven antique treasures in a single night. This caused the Duanmu family’s antique appraisal conference to be canceled, a great loss of face in the martial arts world.
Twenty-seven was no small number. How on earth did the Red Longevity Peach transport them all without anyone noticing?
The second victim was the Martial Arts Alliance Chief. The Chief’s martial arts were second to none in the Jianghu, and his wife was the Demonic Cult Leader, whose skills were just as formidable. However, the way the Chief was “victimized” was a bit… peculiar. It was said that the Red Longevity Peach stole a pile of undergarments from the women of a brothel, mixed them with the Alliance Chief’s own sash, and threw them all into his room. The thief even maliciously carved his signature red peach symbol in an inconspicuous spot. When the Demonic Cult Leader returned to her room and saw the items, she was so enraged that she fought the Alliance Chief from the top of the Alliance mountain all the way to the bottom. It was rumored that the henpecked Chief’s leg still hadn’t fully healed…
The Red Longevity Peach was the first to dare to commit a crime against the top dog of the Jianghu. The reason he didn’t become famous for successfully injuring the undefeated Alliance Chief was that the Chief found the matter of nearly being beaten to a pulp by his wife too humiliating and deliberately suppressed the story.
The third victim was Qi Shaoling himself. The Red Longevity Peach seemed to be toying with him. Three months ago, all the writing brushes in his manor disappeared. Not just one, but every single brush. Qi Shaoling had been free that day and planned to finish all his paperwork, but how could he write without a brush? He had stormed off to the stationer’s shop only to find that every brush in the entire city had been bought out. The next day, after borrowing a brush from a colleague, Qi Shaoling faced a new problem: he had to go out of the city for inspections for the next few days. He would be so busy he wouldn’t have time to breathe, yet he still had a mountain of paperwork to start. Would he even have time to sleep?
A few days later, sporting dark circles under his eyes and feeling utterly exhausted, Inspector Qi couldn’t help but wonder: Could this thief have investigated my schedule beforehand? If he could come and go from the Alliance Chief’s room as he pleased, the Inspectorate would be no challenge for him at all!
After that, things kept disappearing from his manor, but the most serious incident happened a few days ago. The Emperor had suddenly summoned him. When Qi Shaoling stepped into the imperial study, he saw the Emperor staring at him with a very strange expression. The usually inscrutable ruler’s eyes seemed to be tinged with a rare flicker of anger.
Qi Shaoling was puzzled. Surely I haven’t done anything wrong?
The Emperor threw a memorial down in front of him. “Qi Shaoling, what is the meaning of this! Insubordination, challenging imperial authority—you have some nerve!”
A chill went down Qi Shaoling’s spine. Could someone have tampered with my memorial and written something treasonous?
But when he opened the memorial, Qi Shaoling froze in shock.
The pages were filled with… erotic art.
All sorts of positions, a complete collection. Men with women, men with men, women with women… the variety was astonishing!
And in the bottom right corner was a tantalizingly drawn red longevity peach symbol.
It was the first time in his life that Qi Shaoling had been so completely dumbfounded. He didn’t even know how he managed to explain himself to the Son of Heaven, or how he walked out of the imperial study that day.
And then last night, his memorials were stolen again! All of them!
Qi Shaoling couldn’t imagine what the Emperor would think if, after already being presented with a gallery of erotic art, he showed up to morning court the next day empty-handed.
Are you trying to say that besides erotic art, you have nothing else to report?!
After listening to Qi Shaoling’s tale, Qi Xiao was practically draped over the table, laughing so hard he could barely breathe.
“Hahahaha, our Emperor doesn’t have a single consort. He’s as pure as a blank sheet of paper in that department, and you actually showed him that kind of stuff… How wicked, how utterly wicked!”
Qi Shaoling sat ramrod straight at his side, furiously writing on the memorials Qi Xiao had lent him. He felt it was not • one • bit • funny. And also…
“What are you writing?”
“I’m taking notes for material,” Qi Xiao replied. “This whole episode with you and the Red Longevity Peach is perfect for one of my storybooks.”
Qi Shaoling said coolly, “If someone replaced the letters you write to Master Fu with erotic art, you wouldn’t find it so funny.”
Qi Xiao shuddered violently. The laughter died in his throat.
The mere thought was horrifying!
Seeing Qi Xiao’s reaction, Qi Shaoling spoke more than he usually did. “If you like him, just tell him.”
If someone else snatches him away one day, like that Mingyue Cheng, it’ll be too late for you to cry.
Qi Xiao’s feelings for Fu Yunzhi were no secret to Qi Shaoling, not that Qi Xiao ever intended to hide them. He had many acquaintances, but fewer than three he would call true friends, and Qi Shaoling was one of them.
Qi Xiao deflated. “He doesn’t feel that way about me. If I confess, we won’t even be able to be friends anymore.”
Sighing, Qi Xiao waved a hand dismissively. “Ai, let’s not talk about this. Before morning court tomorrow, we’ll go find Yunzhi and come up with a plan to deal with that Red Longevity Peach. For now, hurry up and finish your memorials, then you can drink with me.”
Qi Shaoling clicked his tongue silently. Every time Fu Yunzhi goes to Raoliang Pavilion, Qi Xiao has to drink himself into a stupor.
The night was beautiful. Neither of them slept, simply drinking until the sun came up.
