Chapter 4: Sharing a Pillow
“It’s good that you’re back, it’s good that you’re back…”
In the dining hall of the Wen Residence, the family was gathered around the table. With red-rimmed eyes, Madam Wen kept piling food onto Wen Ningyuan’s plate. He hadn’t even touched the large chicken leg in his bowl before his mother added a big piece of braised pork.
Wen Ningyuan smiled. “Mother, you should eat more too. Please stop, I can’t keep up.”
The men of the Wen family were all born with a gentle elegance. When Wen Ningyuan smiled like that, he was exceptionally handsome. Looking at him, Madam Wen’s heart ached even more. How could her fair and spotless son have been thrown into prison by those filthy people to suffer so?
Wen Ningyuan had suffered many injuries in prison, but fortunately, they were all superficial and hadn’t damaged his bones. But to a mother, these wounds were like cuts on her own heart.
“If there’s anything you want to eat, just let Mother get it for you. You have an injury on your arm; the doctor said you shouldn’t make any large movements for a while.”
Wen Ning’an smiled and shook his head. Now even picking up food was considered a “large movement.”
Wen Ningxi ladled a bowl of soup for Wen Ning’an and said with a smile, “Mother is so biased. She’s only paying attention to Eldest Brother and isn’t serving Second Brother, who worked so hard for this.”
Madam Wen laughed. “Your second brother has to enter the palace for an audience later. The eunuch who came to inform us also said that it seems the Emperor wants to assign your brother a new task. This is a good thing, a good thing!”
Wen Ning’an thought to himself, A good thing? That was hard to say.
His relationship with Feng Qi was extremely delicate right now. Whether this trip back to the capital would bring more hardship or a chance for promotion, no one could say for sure. Ever since the two of them had shared a bed on the night of Feng Qi’s coronation, their relationship had been strained. Feng Qi had even exiled him to the frontier. Because of this, Wen Ning’an felt a little apprehensive.
After the family finished a happy and fulfilling dinner, just as Wen Ning’an was about to leave the residence, Wen Ningyuan came to find him alone.
In the stables, Wen Ning’an was saddling his beloved horse, Wuying (Shadowless). Seeing Wen Ningyuan standing silently behind him, he asked, “What’s wrong?”
“I’m sorry…”
Wen Ning’an’s hands, which were threading the reins, stiffened.
Wen Ningyuan said in a low voice, “I’m truly sorry. I was too eager for success, and that’s why I fell into the Xu family’s trap… I shouldn’t have, I shouldn’t have been like that.”
“It’s nothing… As long as Elder Brother is safe, that’s all that matters,” Wen Ning’an said, lowering his head.
The Wen family had been in decline since his great-grandfather’s generation. Wen Ning’an could be considered the “aberration” of the family, choosing the path of a warrior over a scholar. Master Wen was open-minded and didn’t obstruct him when he saw his son’s dedication to martial arts, even finding him a master.
Wen Ning’an certainly didn’t disappoint his family. At the age of ten, he was chosen to be the study companion for the then-Crown Prince, now Emperor Feng Qi. The two of them supported each other, and after becoming a general, Wen Ning’an did everything in his power to help the Crown Prince ascend the throne. After Feng Qi’s coronation, Master Wen had originally thought the Wen family might rise again, but to his surprise, Wen Ning’an was exiled to the frontier.
Even so, as the Left General, Wen Ning’an was far more successful than his elder brother, who had remained obscure for so long, only managing to become a minor scribe in the Censorate after passing the imperial examinations. What outsiders said about the eldest son of the Wen family, what his parents thought in their hearts—Wen Ningyuan knew, and so did Wen Ning’an.
There was a reason Wen Ningyuan had fallen into the trap so easily.
This reason was self-evident. No one in the Wen family mentioned it, yet Wen Ningyuan confessed it himself in front of Wen Ning’an.
Wen Ning’an sighed and turned to gently embrace his brother.
“Elder Brother will always be the elder brother I respect.”
“And Ning’an will always be the little brother I dote on the most…”
In the Imperial Study, Feng Qi glanced at the time marked on the candle, then tossed the memorial aside and summoned Eunuch Fu.
“Fu Che, prepare some nice refreshments and bring them over. If I find them good, make more to entertain Beloved Minister Wen.”
“Yes.”
A short while later, a maid brought in a variety of pastries. Hibiscus cakes, water chestnut cakes, mille-feuille crisps, crystal dumplings… All sorts of exquisite desserts were laid out before Feng Qi, dazzling him.
Among all these appetizing treats, Feng Qi’s attention was drawn to an unremarkable round cake on a tall platter. Although it looked substantial, it appeared rather plain compared to the other pastries.
Feng Qi couldn’t help but point at it and ask, “What is this?”
Eunuch Fu replied, “Replying to Your Majesty, the common folk call this ‘Wife Cake’.”
[Translator’s Notes: Wife Cake : A real and popular type of Chinese pastry, especially in Cantonese cuisine. The origin story described is a common folk tale associated with it.]
Feng Qi raised an eyebrow.
Wife Cake?
Seeing the Emperor’s apparent interest, Eunuch Fu continued, “This is a story from a previous dynasty. A long time ago, there was a tyrannical king who levied exorbitant taxes. Life was so hard that the people could barely afford a meal, and so a rebel army rose up. The wife of the rebel leader was a very clever woman. At that time, with war raging, to solve the army’s food shortage and make it easier for the soldiers to carry rations, she mixed wheat, winter melon, and other edible things, ground them into flour, and made them into cakes to distribute to the soldiers. This is the origin of the Wife Cake.”
Feng Qi smiled. “For fighting a war? It seems quite suitable for Beloved Minister Wen.”
And the name, Wife Cake…
As if possessed, Feng Qi said, “Take away the other pastries. Have the Imperial Kitchen make more Wife Cakes.”
…What?
In the Imperial Kitchen, upon hearing the young eunuch’s message, all the female cooks exchanged bewildered glances.
“You’re saying the Emperor wants to eat Wife Cakes with General Wen?”
Thus, when Wen Ning’an arrived, the moment his foot crossed the threshold of the Imperial Study, he was met with a rich aroma.
Lifting his head slightly, he saw that the desk was not covered with memorials, but with high-footed silver platters. On the platters were round cakes of various flavors, fillings, and shapes. A mixture of sweet, savory, and fresh scents mingled in the air, like a group of ladies with different styles dancing gracefully.
“This subject greets Your Majesty.”
“Rise. No need for ceremony. Come, eat some wife… eat some pastries with me.”
“…” Something seems off. The Emperor summoned me to the palace to eat pastries with him?
“Thank you for Your Majesty’s great favor, but this subject has already had dinner.”
Feng Qi paused, then said, “Ning’an, I remember, before I ascended the throne, we used to drink and talk on the rooftops, often talking through the night. Can we not even share some pastries together now?”
Wen Ning’an stared blankly at Feng Qi’s earnest eyes.
The atmosphere was a little stiff. Neither of them spoke.
In the end, it was Wen Ning’an who, somewhat awkwardly, pulled out a pearwood chair and sat down opposite Feng Qi, silently eating the round cakes.
The room was utterly silent, so quiet that you could hear a pin drop. Wen Ning’an ate the cakes without a word, and Feng Qi watched him eat without a word. Rather than quiet, it was more like… bizarre.
And so, Feng Qi, who was determined to create a good atmosphere, broke the silence. “Is it good?”
“…Replying to Your Majesty, it is good.”
…
Although the air was thick with awkwardness, Feng Qi saw the subtle light in Wen Ning’an’s eyes and felt a sense of relief.
His preferences are still the same as before. He just loves to eat.
BOOM—
Feng Qi and Wen Ning’an turned their heads in unison to see the paper window rattling under the fierce wind. Outside, lightning flashed and thunder roared as a torrential downpour suddenly fell from the dark night sky.
Feng Qi then said, “Why don’t you spend the night here? It’s not convenient to go back now.”
Wen Ning’an felt that something was wrong, so he stood up. “Thank you for Your Majesty’s grace, but the heavy rain is no obstacle. This subject can return. This subject will take his leave now.”
Feng Qi also stood up, leaned forward, and grabbed Wen Ning’an’s wrist. “Stay.”
Outside the window, the willow trees were swaying violently in the wind, looking as if they might be uprooted at any moment, yet they stubbornly resisted the fierce storm, trying to straighten their slender trunks in the harsh environment.
The pressure from his wrist caused a dull ache in Wen Ning’an.
Wen Ning’an pulled his wrist free and knelt. “Your Majesty, this subject is slow-witted. If this subject has done anything wrong, I ask Your Majesty to make it clear.”
Seeing the distance in Wen Ning’an’s eyes and his guarded attitude, Feng Qi felt a sense of defeat. “I just wanted… to get closer to you…”
This sentence struck Wen Ning’an’s heart like a clap of thunder.
Wen Ning’an looked up and saw Feng Qi looking down at him, his eyes holding an emotion he had never seen before.
“I want to be close to you.”
Not “I (朕),” but “I (我).”
[Translator’s Notes: I (我): Here, Feng Qi switches from the imperial pronoun 朕 (zhèn) to the common, personal pronoun 我 (wǒ), signifying a shift to a more intimate and personal tone.]
The night was deep, and the rain continued, even intensifying.
Wen Ning’an lay fully clothed on Feng Qi’s Dragon Bed, with Feng Qi lying beside him. He felt his heart beating erratically, and his breathing quickened.
Originally, Wen Ning’an had intended to sleep on the long bench in the bedchamber, but to his surprise, Feng Qi had picked him up in his arms and placed him on the soft bed.
“Your Majesty…”
Feng Qi turned his head.
Wen Ning’an asked softly, “The closeness Your Majesty spoke of… what kind of closeness is it?”
Feng Qi was silent for a long while before propping himself up on the bed, leaning over Wen Ning’an, and pressing a light kiss on his forehead, as fleeting as a dragonfly touching water.
“This kind.”
Seeing Wen Ning’an’s earlobes turn red and his body stiffen, Feng Qi continued, “Let’s try, shall we?”
Wen Ning’an was speechless.
“Yixin, I was wrong before. Forgive me. Can we start over?”
[Translator’s Notes: Yixin (怿心): Wen Ning’an’s courtesy name (zì), a formal name given to men upon reaching adulthood, used by peers and elders to show respect. It means “Pleased Heart.”]
This was the first time in two lifetimes that Feng Qi had apologized and shown weakness to anyone, and the first time he had called Wen Ning’an by his courtesy name.
“From now on, I will do my best to treat you well.”
Wen Ning’an had lost the ability to speak. He reached out and secretly pinched his own arm.
It’s not a dream…
Feng Qi pulled open his own collar. “Look.”
Wen Ning’an saw the white bandages wrapped around Feng Qi’s chest, with some still-wet bloodstains on them. The sight was so glaringly stark that he couldn’t help but frown.
“Does your heart ache?”
Wen Ning’an turned his head away without answering. But Feng Qi was relentless.
“Yixin, does your heart ache?”
Feng Qi knew Wen Ning’an’s feelings, but he wanted to hear Wen Ning’an’s concern for him with his own ears, to gain a sense of security that he himself couldn’t explain.
Seeing Feng Qi’s sharp, pressing gaze, as if he wouldn’t give up until he got an answer, Wen Ning’an could only suppress his awkwardness and give a slight nod.
Feng Qi was satisfied. He turned back, leaned over Wen Ning’an again, and looked at him deeply. “You are never to betray me, do you understand?”
It was a domineering, forceful command. Wen Ning’an looked at the man’s face and suddenly broke into a smile.
“Alright.”
Feng Qi had rarely seen Wen Ning’an smile, so he had never noticed how beautiful it was, as gentle as an all-encompassing sea.
Feng Qi smiled too. His heart suddenly settled. It’s only this person, just this person. He felt that he might have truly come to his senses.
In his past life, he had loathed Wen Ning’an so much. But whether that was a blustering facade, a result of his flawed character, or whether he had truly been so disgusted by Wen Ning’an’s feelings for him, no one knew. And now, his heart was in turmoil. He just wanted to hold on tightly to this person who was genuinely good to him and draw a little warmth.
Another clap of thunder sounded, and a cold, biting wind blew into the room.
The two people in the room slept on the same bed. Although there was a subtle distance between them, neither of them felt cold.
