Chapter 8: Bone-Deep
Wen Ning’an and Feng Qi wandered until dusk before slowly returning to the palace. As they walked through the gradually emptying streets towards the palace, neither of them spoke much, both being too full. Wen Ning’an loved to eat, and Feng Qi was determined to complete the entire list of delicacies to make Wen Ning’an happy, so the two of them had truly overeaten.
An emperor and a general, having forgotten all self-control and eaten until they could barely walk. That’s a rare sight indeed, Wen Ning’an thought to himself.
The shops were beginning to close up, and the stalls were gradually being packed away, everyone rushing home to enjoy time with their families. At the city gates, many hunters were returning, carrying sack after sack of their spoils.
“Awooo…”
A weak wolf’s howl came from one of the hunter’s sacks. Wen Ning’an turned his head and saw a large, burly man with a full beard carrying a sack, inside which a spherical object seemed to be struggling.
From the sound, it must be a wolf cub.
Seeing Wen Ning’an staring at the sack in a daze, Feng Qi walked up to the hunter and asked, “Brother, what do you plan to do with the wolf cub in the sack?”
The hunter replied, “What else? Roast it and eat it, of course.”
Feng Qi took out a bag of silver from his robes and handed it to the hunter. “I want to buy that wolf cub. Is this enough silver?”
The hunter took the bag, weighed it in his hand, and seemed to be in disbelief. He then opened it to check.
“Young master, this is too much! It’s enough to buy three wolf cubs!” The hunter shook his head and looked closely at Feng Qi. His extraordinary air and fine clothes made him sigh inwardly. Rich families are so generous, spending silver like water.
“It wouldn’t be right for me to take it all. I’ll just take some of it. You can have the wolf cub.”
Wen Ning’an watched as Feng Qi bought the wolf cub from the hunter and then handed it to him, unable to react for a moment.
“A gift for you.”
The wolf cub had just been forcibly captured and was extremely wary of humans, so Feng Qi had to get some rope from the hunter to tie its limbs.
Wen Ning’an looked at the ball of fur that had been stuffed into his arms, his heart filled with complex emotions.
Feng Qi said, “From now on, it’s yours. Give it a name. How about Xingxing?”
[Translator’s Notes: Xingxing (星星): This means “star” or “stars.”]
Wen Ning’an felt as if a string in his heart had suddenly snapped.
It was a long time ago. Feng Qi was born to an unfavored concubine and had been disliked by the late Emperor since he was a child. When Feng Qi was ten, the late Emperor held a celebration for the Empress’s birthday. The entire palace celebrated, and he even led all the princes to hunt in the Imperial Forest.
Wen Ning’an, as Feng Qi’s study companion, had followed behind him.
The two of them had separated from the group and come to a secluded spot where they saw a girl screaming on the ground, seemingly too scared to run. Behind her was a hungry wolf, drooling and with green light in its eyes.
Feng Qi had a wild streak since childhood. Without a second thought, he had pounced on the wolf and fought it. He only had a dagger in his hand, but there was no fear in his eyes. With the help of Wen Ning’an’s bow and arrow, he had actually killed the wolf, though the price was a body full of injuries.
This scene had been witnessed in its entirety by the late Emperor, who had been observing from the shadows. The light in Feng Qi’s eyes and his fearless nature, like a newborn calf unafraid of a tiger, had caught the late Emperor’s attention. From then on, the late Emperor had kept Feng Qi by his side to teach him personally, and the more he taught, the more he grew to like him.
After Feng Qi and Wen Ning’an killed the mother wolf, her cub was left without anyone to care for it. If left alone, it would have starved or frozen to death in the forest. Wen Ning’an felt it was his responsibility to take care of it, so from then on, Wen Ning’an and Feng Qi had a wolf cub named Xingxing as a pet. Xingxing grew up with them, but eventually passed away from illness when Wen Ning’an was sixteen and Feng Qi was seventeen. At that time, Wen Ning’an had taken Xingxing with him to the frontier. The medicine was incomplete, the environment was uncomfortable, and Xingxing’s death was not peaceful.
Wen Ning’an buried Xingxing at the frontier, to keep company with the wind and sand.
When he returned to the capital, Feng Qi saw Wen Ning’an return alone and asked about Xingxing. And so, for the first time, Wen Ning’an cried in front of someone else.
Feng Qi had held Wen Ning’an and, also for the first time, used a gentle tone. “Next time something like this happens, I will definitely be by your side…”
…
“Yixin?”
Wen Ning’an came back to his senses and saw Feng Qi looking at him with concern.
“Are you alright? If not, let’s not call it Xingxing.”
Wen Ning’an shook his head, hugged the wolf cub, and leaned against Feng Qi with a smile. “It’s alright. Let’s call it Xingxing.”
Feng Qi looked at Wen Ning’an and felt that something had changed, yet it seemed as if nothing had changed at all. He felt that Wen Ning’an’s attitude towards him was subtly different, and the faint distance between them had lessened.
Feng Qi didn’t understand where this change came from.
He had spent so much effort, given priceless gifts, endured a day of uncomfortable wandering through the market with Wen Ning’an, and deliberately said things he thought Wen Ning’an would like to hear, yet none of it pleased Wen Ning’an as much as this casually bought gift.
Perhaps he had never truly paid attention to what Wen Ning’an really liked and pursued.
Feng Qi was silent, reaching out to gently take Wen Ning’an’s hand, which was hanging by his side. Wen Ning’an’s hands were covered in thick calluses, rough from years of holding weapons and reins. They were neither soft nor beautiful.
Yet Feng Qi liked them very much, liked the feeling of holding this hand. It was just a hand, yet it felt as if he had obtained a sense of complete satisfaction. And Wen Ning’an didn’t pull away as he had before, only turning his head to the other side to avoid looking at Feng Qi, his earlobes a suspicious shade of red.
The sky gradually darkened, and the twilight stretched their shadows long, as if they were nestled together…
It was late, so Feng Qi pulled Wen Ning’an back to the palace with him, and they stayed the night there. Xingxing was handed over to the servants to be fed. Feng Qi had prepared everything thoroughly. He had even had the servants prepare a hot spring beforehand and coaxed Wen Ning’an to soak with him.
“A hot spring in summer?” Wen Ning’an raised an eyebrow.
Feng Qi smiled. “The imperial physician told me. In summer, the heart-fire is strong. Soaking in a hot spring can relieve the heat, cool you down, nourish the heart, and replenish water, and it can also improve sleep.”
Wen Ning’an smiled and shook his head. After so many years in the army, he wasn’t so particular.
Feng Qi’s private hot spring was actually in the imperial villa, but since the emperor couldn’t be running off to the villa every few days, there was a small hot spring hall not far from his own bedchamber. Feng Qi was very fond of this place.
The hot spring hall was filled with steam, and the swirling mist blurred one’s vision. Feng Qi had taken off his upper garment and was soaking bare-chested in the hot spring. Seeing Wen Ning’an standing by the pool hesitating, he raised an eyebrow and asked, “What’s wrong?”
Wen Ning’an saw Feng Qi’s open and natural demeanor and felt that if he continued to hesitate, he would seem overly coy. So, he too, still wearing his inner robe, stepped into the water.
Feng Qi was inwardly disappointed. Did I not act like enough of a gentleman? Why is he still wearing his inner robe…
The water was warm, and the steam rose continuously. The warmth seeped into his body through every pore. Wen Ning’an felt his whole body relax, and he even began to feel drowsy.
Feng Qi sat down next to Wen Ning’an and gently rested Wen Ning’an’s head on his shoulder.
Seeing Wen Ning’an leaning against him with his eyes closed, his posture more languid than usual, with less rigor and more casualness, Feng Qi smiled. “Yixin, can I ask you a question?”
“You are the Emperor. You can naturally ask whatever you want.”
Feng Qi gently patted Wen Ning’an’s shoulder, not speaking for a long while, as if contemplating how to phrase his question.
After a long time, Feng Qi finally asked, “Yixin, why do you like me?”
Feng Qi knew what kind of person he was and understood that there was probably not much about him to like, so he really wanted to know why Wen Ning’an favored him.
Wen Ning’an was stunned. He subconsciously looked up and met Feng Qi’s unprecedentedly serious eyes.
“Your Majesty, I…” His words trailed off, and he seemed unable to continue.
“Didn’t I tell you to call me Huaitian?”
Wen Ning’an frowned. “Your Majesty, we are back in the palace.”
“So what if we’re back in the palace? I like it when you call me that name. Keep it, no need to change.”
Wen Ning’an had no choice but to comply.
Seeing Wen Ning’an’s silence, Feng Qi couldn’t help but remind him, “You haven’t answered my question yet.”
Wen Ning’an was flustered and at a loss. Feng Qi, however, moved closer and closer, almost trapping Wen Ning’an in his arms, his powerful aura pressing down on him.
Wen Ning’an felt that the tip of his nose was filled with the scent of dragon’s saliva incense on Feng Qi, a fragrance that couldn’t be washed away even by soaking in the hot spring, noticeable when one was close.
[Translator’s Notes: Dragon’s Saliva Incense: This is ambergris, a waxy substance from sperm whales, highly valued in perfumery. In a Chinese imperial context, it’s often associated with the emperor due to the “dragon” character.]
Wen Ning’an kept retreating until his back was against the edge of the hot spring.
“Yixin…”
As if suddenly thinking of something, Wen Ning’an retorted, “Then why has Your Majesty suddenly started to value me so much? How could I not know what Your Majesty thought of me before? And now, Your Majesty’s attitude has changed so drastically… Can I know the reason?”
This question was originally a desperate move by Wen Ning’an, but after asking it, he found that he really wanted to know the answer.
Now it was Feng Qi’s turn to be at a loss for words.
Wen Ning’an supported himself on the edge of the hot spring, stood up, and left the water, going behind a screen not far away to change. The difference in their status prevented Wen Ning’an from bargaining, but Feng Qi understood his meaning: if he couldn’t answer Wen Ning’an’s question, then Wen Ning’an wouldn’t give him an answer either.
“Yixin, I had a dream. In the dream, I lost you.”
The figure behind the screen froze.
Feng Qi took a deep breath and continued, “In the dream, I was in great pain. After that, even after I woke up, I couldn’t stop thinking, what would I do if I lost you one day? Then I realized, I would still be in great pain. So I suddenly realized that maybe my feelings for you… weren’t entirely what I showed on the surface…”
The only sound was the gurgling of water. No one spoke, and the silhouette behind the screen no longer moved.
After an unknown amount of time, Feng Qi heard Wen Ning’an’s voice, faint and indistinct.
“Ever since I can remember, there has only been one person I liked, and only one person in my memory. There was no reason, no catalyst. It has always been like this.”
As if it were innate…
Feng Qi was stunned. He stared wide-eyed at the silhouette taking off its soaked inner robe and putting on the white cotton robe he had prepared, feeling his heart beat faster and faster.
A feeling he had never experienced before.
Feng Qi felt like he was going crazy.
BANG—
Wen Ning’an was startled. He looked at the knocked-over screen and, before he could react, felt his feet leave the ground. The world spun, and he was being carried in Feng Qi’s arms.
“Your Majesty…!”
“I told you, call me by my name.” Feng Qi’s eyes were bloodshot. He spoke as he carried Wen Ning’an out of the hot spring hall.
“Huaitian, put me down!”
The bedchamber was not far from the hot spring hall. Seeing Feng Qi carry him through the doors of the bedchamber, Wen Ning’an kept shouting in a low voice, “Huaitian, calm down first!”
“I fucking want to calm down too.”
But he couldn’t. At this moment, Feng Qi’s heart and eyes were filled with only one thought: to devour Wen Ning’an whole.
