Chapter 9
He Yunxiao’s waistline had visibly shrunk. Before Mrs. He could celebrate, He Yunxiao let out another fart, the foul stench hitting her face and making her stumble back two steps, momentarily dizzy.
It was incredibly stinky!
It was like a dam had burst, and now there was no stopping it.
“Pfft, pfft, pfft—”
He Yunxiao’s face turned crimson, his hands, which had been cradling his belly, now scrambling to cover his rear.
But how could he control his body? It was as if countless gases had gathered within him, now desperately trying to escape, threatening to rip through his pants.
Wu Heng had already moved far away, two tissue balls stuffed up his nostrils, and most of his face covered with the silk scarf as a makeshift mask, for fear of getting too close.
So stinky!
[emmmm… I can smell it through the screen, holding my breath.]
[Three hundred thousand people online watching him fart, aaaaa if I were him, I’d move to another planet.]
[Oh my god, it’s really working, the patient’s belly seems to be shrinking.]
[Uncle, please stop, I’m scared QAQ.]
[Truly eye-opening, jumping for the gods actually cured the illness! Could he really be a shaman doctor?]
[If it’s a strange illness that hospitals can’t diagnose, can we look for a shaman doctor? Maybe witchcraft works?]
…
He Yunxiao was utterly mortified. He had probably let out all the farts he would in his life.
He was certain that his classmates were watching the live stream. How could he go back to school now?! The thought of transferring schools swirled in his mind.
As He Yunxiao wallowed in his misery, he suddenly realized that as the farts became less frequent, his body felt much lighter.
He couldn’t help but lift his loose “maternity clothes,” revealing his now flat, wheat-colored stomach.
Smaller.
It was visibly smaller!
He Yunxiao reached out a trembling hand and gently placed it on his stomach, his eyes welling up.
Mr. He, on the verge of fainting from the smell, couldn’t help but chuckle. “Silly child, look how happy he is!”
Mrs. He said tearfully, “How can he not be happy?”
He Yunxiao, his eyes red-rimmed, exclaimed in exasperation, “Damn it, my eight-pack abs are gone!!”
That damned, stupid snake, don’t let him see it again!
[Hahahaha, this is indeed a sad thing.]
[I’d be upset if I lost even one ab, losing all of them is like the sky falling.]
[Young Mr. He is truly a victim of a freak accident, I wish those school bullies could experience his pain.]
[Is the streamer still accepting new patients? I want to connect!]
[Haven’t you forgotten that the patient also gave birth to a snake? What about that one?]
Seeing that He Yunxiao’s belly had finally returned to its normal flatness, Wu Heng removed the tissues from his nostrils and chanted a spell for fresh air.
The He family butler carefully carried the little snake in the bassinet. The snake, sensing danger, stared at everyone with wide eyes, flicking its tongue.
He Yunxiao felt an inexplicable awkwardness. The ones in his belly were released as farts, fine, but this living creature that he had vomited out seemed to be a life too. Was this considered killing?
Wu Heng said, “Your snake fetuses were formed from your seven emotions and six desires. This one is ‘Joy,’ the foremost of the seven emotions. If raised well, it will actually be beneficial to you, even taking care of you in your old age wouldn’t be a problem.”
Human emotions and desires could be both good and bad. “Joy,” if nurtured well, could become a silly, happy little spirit snake.
[?? So he gave birth to a spirit beast? Whoa, suddenly I’m a little envious?]
[Guys, who understands? I gave birth to a household deity~ A snake immortal is my child.]
[Other people’s household deities need to be worshipped and served, afraid of offending them! My household deity—I gave birth to it!]
The netizens in the live stream, who had been watching the drama unfold, many sympathizing with the young man, were now restless, especially those who believed in the Five Great Immortals.
It sounded like a blessing in disguise, a huge advantage!
He Yunxiao stared at the little snake, his lips moving but not speaking. Even the He couple stammered, unable to say anything.
Wu Heng understood. People in this world didn’t seem to believe in ghosts, gods, or shaman doctors. It was normal for them to be apprehensive. He said, “Then let me keep it for now. I’ll bring it to your house on the weekends?”
This compromise was readily accepted by the He family.
Mrs. He was conflicted. This was, after all, something that came out of her son, He Yunxiao… a fart.
It was still part of their family, how could they harm it?
But they were truly afraid to raise it.
Wu Heng’s words solved their immediate problem, and the shrewd Mr. He immediately understood the deeper meaning.
This consultation wasn’t a one-time deal. With more interactions in the future, they might even be able to recognize Wu Heng as a godson.
From chatting with the female CEOs in his business circle, Mr. He vaguely knew that strange illnesses had been occurring frequently in recent years. Knowing a shaman doctor would be greatly beneficial.
After all, everyone got sick sometimes. Doctors were definitely not to be offended, especially shaman doctors.
Both parties agreed. The little snake seemed to sense something. When Wu Heng picked it up, its body tensed, its head raised high, ready to attack.
Wu Heng said, “You’ll follow me from now on, and I’ll bring you to your dad’s place during holidays. I’ll treat you well.”
He Yunxiao still felt awkward, but remembering that pet owners also called themselves pet parents, he reluctantly accepted it.
He Yunxiao saw the little snake staring at him, then, glancing at Wu Heng’s partially lifted Guan Gong mask, blurted out, “Me, me too.”
Wu Heng used a spell to remove the putrid smell from the little snake and patiently coaxed it, “If I have food, you’ll have food.”
He Yunxiao immediately followed, “Me too.”
Wu Heng glanced at him in surprise and said, “As long as you don’t misbehave and be a good snake, I’ll protect you.”
He Yunxiao fully embraced the role, cupping his hands and saying excitedly, “Me too!”
[Hahaha, doesn’t Wu Heng know the Zhang Fei meme? I’m dying of laughter.]
[Woke me up in the middle of the night with laughter, gotta find something to eat.]
[You guys are eating in the middle of the night? I’ll just watch the food streamer and satisfy my cravings.]
Seeing that the family’s troubles were completely resolved, the He couple beamed with joy and immediately instructed the butler to pack Wu Heng’s things and invite him into the villa.
Mrs. He enthusiastically asked the maid to prepare a guest room for Wu Heng to stay the night.
Wu Heng shook his head. “I’ll leave after a while.”
Borrowing ancient wells was best done at night. Doing it during the day would easily scare people, and if You Jin found him missing in the morning, he would be worried and nag him to death.
Hearing this, Mr. He immediately asked the butler to prepare a thank-you gift for Wu Heng.
The Shark platform’s live streaming activity required participating streamers to broadcast for one hour each day to check in.
Wu Heng, seeing that it was still early for check-in, simply sat in the He family’s villa hall and connected with the next person in line.
Since Chengde Medical Clinic had become famous, many netizens were curious and wanted to be the next patient for consultation.
As soon as the connection was established, He Yunxiao let out a cry of “Ah!” upon seeing the person on the other end.
An old acquaintance.
Li Hao and his friends were playing games together tonight, so they had witnessed the entire process of He Yunxiao’s follow-up consultation.
The more they thought about it, the more worried and scared they became, so they decided to spend money to connect with the streamer.
Li Hao, wearing a mask and hat, revealing only his eyes, extended his hairy leg and said, “Streamer, I was also bitten by a snake before, but my belly isn’t big. I heard you can take a pulse remotely? Take my pulse and see if I’ll also give birth to some little critters.”
Several of his friends with strange hairstyles echoed, “Doctor Wu, take my pulse too, I was bitten on my left arm.”
“And me! We really didn’t bully anyone, you netizens are talking nonsense.”
[Oh, aren’t these the bullies? They dare to connect with Doctor Wu?]
[But still, a benevolent doctor doesn’t choose his patients, right?]
[I’m biased, I’ll say it first, all bullies should die!]
[Doctor Wu Heng, don’t bother with them! If you dare treat them, I’ll unfollow you immediately.]
Many netizens who had experienced school bullying expressed their anger in the barrage comments, strongly demanding that Wu Heng kick Li Hao out of the live stream.
Li Hao didn’t bother to explain, and, unwilling to show weakness, he gifted ten Carnivals, the dazzling special effects dominating the screen.
That was a lot of money.
Wu Heng accepted them with a smile.
“I can treat you,” Wu Heng said.
Li Hao and his friends were overjoyed, a smug look flashing across their faces. So what if he was a shaman doctor who might be more skilled than a regular doctor? Everyone bowed to money these days!
Money talks!
The netizens in the barrage comments were extremely disappointed. This Wu Heng was truly mercenary, a typical example of skill without conscience.
Some even left the live stream immediately after hearing his words.
Wu Heng: “On the condition that you apologize to the person you bullied until he’s satisfied.”
The triumphant smiles on Li Hao and his friends froze, quickly turning into shame and anger.
Apologize to Shi Xuan?
Why should they?!
Who was Shi Xuan to this damned shaman doctor that he was being so protective?
Moreover, they didn’t dare to see Shi Xuan, that guy was creepy.
Li Hao’s veins bulged, and he shouted angrily, “Fine, don’t treat us! Just because He Yunxiao got a big belly doesn’t mean we’re sick!”
“Exactly, I’ve been perfectly fine these three months, no illness whatsoever.”
A friend with bleached yellow hair sneered at Wu Heng on the screen. “You’re giving up an easy money-making opportunity. Don’t regret it!”
Cursing and swearing, they left the live stream first.
Apologize? Never in their lives!
This wasn’t entirely their fault in the first place. They hadn’t intended to bully Shi Xuan, they just wanted to play with the snake. After all, who would dare provoke Shi Xuan? But after they set their eyes on the snake, they felt like they were in a daze, unable to control their actions. Only after throwing the snake at Shi Xuan did they realize it was too late.
But since they had inexplicably done it, they would stick to it! They would never admit they were wrong.
He Yunxiao wasn’t surprised by their reaction at all. He was only concerned about how to get his eight-pack abs back.
[That scared me, I thought the streamer was really going to treat those bullies.]
[Right, unless they apologize and are forgiven! They’re classmates with the first patient, probably all rich kids. The streamer could resist the temptation of money, I’m a fan again!]
[Too bad, they look perfectly healthy, we won’t get to see them cry and beg.]
[Hasn’t it been an hour yet? Can the streamer pick another patient for consultation? Pick me, pick me! I’ve been waiting for ages!]
Wu Heng did intend to do so. He clicked the official rematch button, and after about ten seconds, he connected with a new person.
As soon as the other person appeared, many netizens in the live stream got excited.
This was a recently popular food blogger!
Wu Heng glanced at the young man on the other end and asked, “What are your symptoms?”
The man raised an eyebrow and asked with a smile, “Aren’t you a self-proclaimed shaman doctor? Can’t you tell what’s wrong with me?”
Thanks for the chapter 🌻✨