After Death, I Became My Childhood Friend’s Cat 25

Chapter 25

Even when showering, Lu Yichuan never took off the object around his neck.

The smooth, warm bone accompanied him into the bathroom.

Steaming hot water cascaded over his head, droplets rolling down his face and onto his chest, splashing against the pale finger bone. He carefully wiped away the water with his hand.

His body heat mingled with the moist steam in the confined space.

The cold bone, held close, seemed to absorb a hint of human warmth.

…

Lu Yichuan made sure he was clean and refreshed before returning to the hidden room.

The single bed inside was narrow and small, the teddy bear-printed bedsheets faded from washing. His legs couldn’t even stretch out fully when he lay down.

But Lu Yichuan felt an inexplicable sense of peace.

The air was thick with the scent of incense ash, a peculiar fragrance that induced drowsiness.

He pulled the covers over himself, glanced at the enshrined photograph, took the finger bone from inside his shirt, and gently kissed it.

“Good night, Rongrong.”

Lu Yichuan first met Jiang Heng when he was four.

He was four, and Jiang Heng was two.

Four-year-old Lu Yichuan was forced by his mother to practice piano in the living room after kindergarten.

The piano keys had turned his childhood black and white.

That was when Jiang Heng came to his house.

At that time, the Lu family wasn’t wealthy, just a minor player among the rich. The Jiang family, on the other hand, hadn’t yet declined and held a much higher social standing.

By coincidence, the two families became neighbors. When the Jiang family came to visit, Lu Yichuan’s mother was overjoyed. Seeing the two-year-old child, she asked Lu Yichuan, who was two years older, to go downstairs and play with the guest.

That was the first time he met Jiang Heng.

Two-year-old Jiang Heng had just learned to walk. He wore a duck-themed onesie, his hair fluffy and thick, his big eyes and small mouth making him look like a doll.

Lu Yichuan, seeing such a cute child for the first time, was momentarily stunned.

Little Jiang Heng was naturally sociable. Seeing Lu Yichuan, he waddled over, carrying a duck plushie.

He held up the fluffy duck for Lu Yichuan to see, his speech still unclear. “Fluffy…fluffy…”

Lu Yichuan, after a moment of trying to understand, asked, “Are you saying your name is Fluffy?”

Laughter erupted from the adults in the living room.

Little Jiang Heng stamped his foot anxiously. “Wongwong…Wongwong…Ni-ni…”

Lu Yichuan was completely lost and looked at his mother for help.

But the next second, Jiang Heng shoved the fluffy duck plushie into Lu Yichuan’s arms. “Wongwong…you…”

Lu Yichuan tried to decipher his meaning. “Are you saying…your name is Rongrong, and Rongrong is mine?”

The little boy’s face fell.

Jiang Heng’s mother laughed. “Yes, Rongrong is yours. You have to take good care of him.”

It wasn’t until much later that Lu Yichuan understood that Jiang Heng’s nickname wasn’t Rongrong at all. He had been referring to the fluffy duck plushie, wanting to give it to him.

But none of the adults present had bothered to explain, so he continued calling him Rongrong for many years.

As for Jiang Heng’s mother’s playful words, he had taken them literally.

After all, he had accepted Jiang Heng’s introductory gift; it was only right that he should take care of him.

At that time, the Lu family was struggling, and Jiang Heng’s parents were often away, so both sides were satisfied with this arrangement.

After that, when Lu Yichuan practiced piano after school, Jiang Heng would sit in his baby chair and watch, his eyes wide with wonder at even the simplest melody, as if witnessing something extraordinary.

When Lu Yichuan finished playing, the little boy would clap enthusiastically and exclaim, “Wow!”, the candy in his mouth falling out without him noticing.

Lu Yichuan would pick up the candy from his clothes, wipe it clean, and put it back in his mouth, then wipe the drool from the corner of his mouth with a tissue.

He was only four years old, yet he exuded a strange maturity.

Little Rongrong, with the candy in his mouth, mumbled, “Dodo…Dodo…”

“It’s Gege,” Lu Yichuan corrected him.

“Gogo!”

“Watch my mouth. Ge—ge—”

“Ge—ge—”

“…”

“Forget it, Dodo it is.”

Jiang Heng grinned again.

“Dodo, star…star…”

“What star?”

“Play, star…”

“You want to hear Twinkle Twinkle Little Star?”

“Yes!”

Lu Yichuan sat at the piano again, the familiar melody filling the living room.

The little boy beside him started clapping along, singing in a drawn-out tone.

“Twin…kle…twin…kle…lit…tle…star…How…I…won…der…what…you…are…Up…a…bove…the…world…so…high…Like…a…dia…mond…in…the…sky…”

“Dodo…Dodo…little star…”

Lu Yichuan woke up early.

He turned his head and looked beside him. The paper effigy was just as he had left it, the smile on its painted face unchanged, staring at him eerily.

Lu Yichuan watched it for a few seconds, then got up and carried the effigy to the brazier.

He set it on fire, his face expressionless.

The flames leaped up, brightly illuminating the emptiness in his eyes.

Lu Yichuan watched the effigy burn, extinguished the candles by the shrine, and left the room.

As Qingming Festival approached, it rained more frequently, a constant mist lingering in the air, as if setting the mood for the upcoming holiday.

He woke up early. The streets were almost deserted, only a few elderly people exercising.

The crabapple blossoms in the courtyard had mostly withered, and after a night of rain, very few remained on the branches.

But spring’s decline marked the beginning of summer.

A season of even greater vitality.

As Lu Yichuan left the house, he ran into the woman he had met at the supermarket on Jiang Xingbai’s birthday. She seemed to be returning from her morning exercise and paused when she saw him, then greeted him with a smile.

“Xiao Lu, out so early?”

Lu Yichuan was dressed in black from head to toe, his skin seemingly paler than when she had seen him at the supermarket.

Not the kind of paleness from being indoors, but more like…

The paleness of someone drained of all vitality.

Yet, he was smiling, his features relaxed, like a bamboo stalk washed clean by the spring rain, elegant and pure.

“Yes, I have a class this morning.”

The woman couldn’t help but take a second look at him, a strange feeling in her heart, but she couldn’t pinpoint what was off.

“Are you a teacher?”

The man in front of her adjusted his watch strap and smiled. “Not a teacher. I’m a graduate student. My tutor is lazy, so he asked me to teach some of his less important classes.”

The woman’s gaze was drawn to the watch on his wrist, but before she could get a closer look, Lu Yichuan pulled his sleeve down to cover it. “It looks like it’s about to rain. You should head back.”

As soon as he finished speaking, a light drizzle began to fall. The woman was about to leave, but seeing Lu Yichuan slowly open his umbrella, she suddenly asked, “Are you leaving your younger brother home alone?”

The man turned to look at her.

In the thin mist, his face seemed cold, washed clean by the rain, but the smile on his lips remained.

“Did I forget to tell you? My younger brother goes to the same university as me, but he’s only a sophomore. He likes to go out with his friends during the holidays and doesn’t often come home.”

Hearing this, the woman felt a sense of relief, for some reason.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have asked. Goodbye, Xiao Lu.”

“Goodbye.”

The woman watched his retreating figure.

They hadn’t met often, but she always seemed to see him from behind.

Always alone, always smiling, yet always surrounded by an unshakeable loneliness.

The rain was heavy today.

Zhao Shuo, toothbrush in his mouth, took his socks off the railing and turned to see a bald kitten staring at him.

He slapped his forehead, toothpaste foam flying from his mouth. “I almost forgot about you! Wait, I’ll take you back for breakfast after I’m done.”

Jiang Heng took a couple of steps back, keeping his distance.

Zhao Shuo quickly finished washing up and carried the cat to Lu Yichuan’s dormitory.

As soon as they entered, Jiang Heng felt the air become noticeably cleaner.

His expression was so obvious that even Zhao Shuo, oblivious as he usually was, noticed. “Is my dorm really that unbearable?”

The cat in his arms struggled free, jumped down, and nodded emphatically.

Zhao Shuo was dejected.

Was it really that bad? His dormitory was at least average compared to the rest of the male dorms, wasn’t it?

He glanced at Lu Yichuan’s room.

Well, it was Lu Yichuan’s fault for being such a clean freak.

He found the cat food and poured some into a bowl for Jiang Heng. “I filled it up for you. Lu Yichuan went to class and probably won’t be back until the afternoon. Do you want to stay here or come back with me?”

Jiang Heng, having been hungry all morning, immediately buried his head in the bowl and started eating, making muffled sounds. Zhao Shuo guessed he didn’t want to return to his “dog house.”

He took the opportunity to pat the cat’s head. “Alright, you stay here then. I’ll go back.”

Before leaving, he secretly took a picture of Jiang Heng with his phone and sent it to Lu Yichuan, chuckling softly. “He was still listless yesterday, but he’s full of energy this morning.”

Seeing Lu Yichuan leave with Jiang Xingbai yesterday had upset Jiang Heng, but after a night of thinking, he had figured things out.

His previous thinking had been too narrow-minded.

He had always looked at things from his own perspective, so he would be unhappy if Lu Yichuan treated him badly, and unhappy if Lu Yichuan treated others well. He kept comparing the current Lu Yichuan to the past Lu Yichuan, forgetting that Lu Yichuan didn’t know who he was.

To him, he was just a stray cat that had latched onto him. Just a cat. Providing food and shelter and not mistreating him was enough; how could he treat a cat like a person?

Besides, he was dead. He wanted Lu Yichuan to live a good life. New friends, a new younger brother, a new life…It was better than…

Still being trapped in grief for him.

Jiang Heng thought.

He had been so selfish before.

He didn’t want Lu Yichuan to grieve for him, but he also didn’t want to see him happy.

But the world didn’t revolve around him. The current situation was the best outcome for everyone.

He couldn’t just announce to everyone that he was Jiang Heng.

After four years, everyone had finally adapted to their current lives. If he suddenly appeared and disrupted the existing balance, he might be happy, but what about everyone else?

Besides, he was a dead person who had suddenly become a cat. Could others accept that? Wouldn’t they just send him to a research lab?

As for Lu Yichuan…

Jiang Heng had already been a burden to him for over ten years. This time, he didn’t want to be a burden anymore.

Jiang Heng thought to himself.

If Lu Yichuan was still grieving for his death, he would tell him the truth. If he was living well, then he would leave him alone.

As for himself…

If Lu Yichuan wanted to keep him, he would stay. A cat didn’t cost much to keep anyway. If he didn’t want him, he would go back to Big Yellow and Little White.

A cat’s lifespan was so short; he should at least live happily.

After figuring things out, Jiang Heng felt the world brighten.

He finished eating, dragged his cat bed to the balcony, listened to the rain, and decided to take another nap.

…

Lu Yichuan returned, damp from the rain. He hung his umbrella by the door and noticed something was missing from the dormitory.

His gaze shifted to the balcony, and he saw that the missing object had been relocated.

The cat bed was half-covered, and from his angle, he could only see the back of the cat and a paw dangling over the edge.

The paw flexed and stretched, kneading the bed even in its sleep.

He could also hear faint purrs, adding a touch of warmth to the rainy afternoon.

He stood at the doorway, watching quietly. The wind blew past his face, erasing the trace of warmth in his eyes.

But a few seconds later, a smile curved his lips.

He knew it was wrong, but he indulged himself, like taking a drug he knew was poisonous.

Because he was already beyond saving.

…

Jiang Heng woke up in a jasmine-scented embrace.

Only a thin shirt separated the man and the cat, their body heat mingling without reservation.

Jiang Heng was still in a daze when a small dried fish was placed in his mouth.

Crispy, savory, a hundred times more delicious than any cat food he had ever tasted.

After swallowing it, Jiang Heng eagerly pawed at the man’s shirt. “Meow!”

More! Give me more!

Lu Yichuan gave him another one, his voice soft and gentle. “Mimi’s awake?”

Jiang Heng looked up at Lu Yichuan with the dried fish in his mouth.

The man wore a simple white shirt. It was dark due to the rain, and the dense foliage of the plane tree blocked most of the light, but it made Lu Yichuan look very gentle.

For a moment, Jiang Heng felt like he was back in the past.

Lu Yichuan looked down at him. “Want more?”

He bent down and opened the bag in his hand, revealing a bag full of dried fish. “They’re all yours.”

Jiang Heng’s eyes lit up, his mind filled with nothing but dried fish, the strange feeling from earlier forgotten.

There was no one outside due to the rain, but laughter drifted in from the corridor, making Lu Yichuan’s balcony seem strangely quiet.

Lu Yichuan didn’t mind. He poured the dried fish into a dish for Jiang Heng and leaned back lazily in his chair, taking out a cigarette.

Jiang Heng glanced at him.

The man, with a cigarette in his mouth, looked down at him, a smile on his lips, but his expression was distant.

His nicotine-stained fingers gently pinched Jiang Heng’s ear. “What? Is Mimi going to tell me off for smoking too?”

He spoke with the cigarette in his mouth, his voice slightly muffled, low and husky, his Adam’s apple bobbing, giving him a strangely roguish air.

A warmth spread through Jiang Heng, and the dried fish slipped from his mouth.

A low chuckle came from above him.

Jiang Heng looked at the finger still by his mouth, annoyed, and bit it.

Lu Yichuan didn’t move, letting him bite. When Jiang Heng was satisfied, he withdrew his slightly damp finger.

“Not bad fighting skills,” he commented, “but you didn’t even leave a mark.”

Jiang Heng: “…”

Lu Yichuan wiped his finger, lit his cigarette with his lighter, took a deep drag, then closed his eyes and exhaled slowly, the smoke curling around his face, blurring his features, his expression weary.

Jiang Heng sneezed from the smoke.

Lu Yichuan flicked the ash off his cigarette, seemingly not hearing his sneeze. “It’s raining really hard today…”

“The weather forecast says it’s going to rain for several days, probably until Qingming Festival.”

“Time flies, it’s Qingming already.”

Qingming Festival was a day for commemorating the dead.

Jiang Heng’s heart clenched, and he looked up at Lu Yichuan.

But the man suddenly ruffled his fur, messing him up completely, blocking his view.

Lu Yichuan’s voice was strangely cheerful. “Such nice weather, isn’t Mimi sleepy?”

Jiang Heng pulled his head free from his grasp.

“Meow!”

Stop it, stop it! You’re messing up my fur!

“It seems Mimi wants to sleep too.”

“How about I sing you a lullaby?”

Before Jiang Heng could respond, Lu Yichuan cradled him in his arms, his gaze fixed on the dripping leaves of the plane tree.

His voice was a bit hoarse, drifting in and out amidst the sound of the rain.

Only the cigarette between his fingers burned brighter in the wind.

…

Lu Yichuan’s childhood was far from the idyllic picture painted by others.

He had an older brother who was honest and quiet, not one to cause trouble, but certainly not outstanding either, far from the perfect heir his mother desired.

So she had Lu Yichuan.

But while she was pregnant with him, his father had an affair.

Lu Yichuan’s birth was neither fortunate nor unfortunate. He enjoyed a more privileged life than his brother, the best of everything, but he also had to endure his mother’s controlling nature and emotional outbursts.

After discovering his father’s infidelity, his mother’s mental state became unstable, and it worsened after Lu Yichuan was born.

Lu Yichuan was her only bargaining chip, the only way to win back her husband’s heart and regain control, so he had to excel in everything.

But Lu Yichuan’s face resembled his father’s too much, and his mother always saw the other man in his features.

A thorn in her heart, no matter how outstanding he was, she would always find fault with him.

He spent most of his childhood in a small attic in the back garden of their villa, so small that even as a child, he could barely stand up straight.

The attic was never cleaned and was filled with junk. If he listened closely, he could hear the scurrying of rats. The only source of light was a narrow window.

Besides meals and studies, Lu Yichuan spent most of his time locked in the attic, pushed inside by the housekeeper and told to reflect on his behavior.

He didn’t know what he was supposed to reflect on, so he would just silently watch the single ray of light shift and dim until the world was plunged into darkness.

Then, one day, a star landed on the windowsill.

Unlike him, silent, cold, and disliked, Jiang Heng was a radiant sun, loved by everyone, even the housekeepers at the Lu villa.

Three-and-a-half-year-old Jiang Heng started kindergarten. He hadn’t grown much taller, but his face was rounder from being constantly fed, his arms chubby. He always smiled with his eyes crinkled, his dimples almost disappearing.

No one could resist his sweet, mochi-like smile, not even the cold-hearted housekeepers of the Lu family.

So, after school, Jiang Heng was given a ladder with a large basket attached, and wearing a safety harness, he descended like a star to the narrow window of the attic.

“Dodo…”

Jiang Heng pressed his face against the glass, his features squished. “Dodo, I came to see you.”

Lu Yichuan seemed to have been born without the ability to cry. Even locked away like this, he smiled when he saw Jiang Heng. “Step back a little, be careful not to fall.”

After Jiang Heng moved back, he said, “It’s Gege, not Dodo.”

Even after starting kindergarten, little Jiang Heng’s speech was still unclear. “Dodo, what happened? Why are you here?”

Lu Yichuan shifted his position, leaning against the window, and looked at Jiang Heng outside. “Nothing. Is kindergarten fun? Did anyone bully you? Did you make any new friends?”

“Fun! Someone pinched my face, and…and stole my things. Pretty teacher gave me candy…”

He rummaged in his pocket, his chubby hand pulling out a crumpled piece of candy. “Candy, for Dodo.”

Lu Yichuan’s heart softened.

“I don’t want it…” he said. “You eat it, Rongrong.”

Little Rongrong was often given candy because he was cute, and his teeth were already showing signs of decay at such a young age, so his candy intake had to be strictly controlled.

He had managed to get a piece of candy at kindergarten and was willing to give it to Lu Yichuan. He must really like him.

Seeing that Lu Yichuan didn’t want it, Jiang Heng quickly unwrapped the candy and popped it into his mouth, his cheek bulging with the candy, his eyes crinkled in a happy smile.

“Dodo…” he mumbled, “How long will you be here? When will you play with Rongrong?”

Lu Yichuan shifted his weight, a burning pain shooting through his knee.

His mother had pushed him in a fit of rage that afternoon, and he had fallen on the gravel path in the garden, scraping his knee.

“Probably not today. I buried treasure here and have to guard it all night, or it will be stolen.”

Little Jiang Heng looked at him, half-understanding. “What’s treasure?”

“It’s something very important.”

“Like…”

He said slowly,

“Like Rongrong.”

Compared to Lu Yichuan, who was mature beyond his years, almost like a freak, Jiang Heng was a normal child. He just stared at Lu Yichuan with a silly grin, drool dripping from his mouth without him noticing.

“I’ll stay with you…”

The sky darkened, and a few stars appeared in the distance.

Little Jiang Heng, clutching his duck plushie, swayed slightly. “Many children in kindergarten, fun! I’ll go again tomorrow…”

Lu Yichuan asked him, “What did you learn today?”

“Sang song!”

Little Rongrong said loudly, “Sang song today!”

Lu Yichuan, whose stomach growled from not having eaten all day, looked at Jiang Heng. “What song did you learn?”

“Little star! And…and…”

He thought for a moment.

“Bug fly!”

Lu Yichuan chuckled. “It’s ‘Bug Flies.’”

Little Jiang Heng touched his head. “Yes, bug fly!”

“Really? How does it go?”

Jiang Heng fidgeted with his hands and feet, then, as if finally remembering, sang loudly,

“Bug fly…bug fly…”

“And then?”

“Bug fly…bug fly…”

“Silly.”

“…”

The dark sky hangs low
Bright stars follow
Bug flies
Bug flies
Who are you missing?
…

Lu Yichuan looked down at the cat staring at him, stopped singing, and took a drag of his cigarette. “Don’t you like it?”

He blew smoke into Jiang Heng’s face, who grinned, then sighed softly. “That’s right, kitties should listen to kitty songs. Children’s songs are for children.”

He took out his phone, searched for a so-called kitty song, and played it for Jiang Heng, lighting another cigarette for himself.

The rain continued throughout the afternoon, and they sat on the balcony, listening to cat songs and smoking.

The rain hadn’t stopped the next day either, and Lu Yichuan took Jiang Heng to the hospital for his injection.

It had been a while since his last injection, and the sudden jab made Jiang Heng cry out in pain.

Unlike before, when he could only endure silently, Lu Yichuan was with him this time, holding him and comforting him softly.

The doctor, seeing this, couldn’t help but remark, “You seemed quite indifferent before. I didn’t expect you to become such a cat slave in just a week.”

Lu Yichuan wiped the tears from the kitten’s glassy eyes and smiled. “Yes, I was only focused on my studies before and didn’t care about anything else. Now that I think about it, having this little guy around is quite nice.”

The doctor put away his instruments. “Yes, having a furry little companion makes you feel much better every day when you come home.”

“By the way,” he said, “I haven’t asked yet, what name did you give it? We need to register it.”

Lu Yichuan said, “Just call him Mimi.”

The doctor paused for a couple of seconds. “That name…”

The man smiled wryly. “I’m not very good at naming things.”

The doctor chuckled. “Well, Mimi is fine too. At least it’s easy to remember.”

Lu Yichuan’s life had become incredibly routine these past few days. He would wake up at 6:30 every morning without fail, go for a run if it wasn’t raining, exercise on the balcony if it was, wash up at 7:30, have breakfast, study until noon, attend meetings or classes in the afternoon, and take Jiang Heng for a half-hour walk in the evening.

Everything seemed to be getting better.

In the blink of an eye, it was Qingming Festival.

Jiang Heng hadn’t realized it was Qingming until he saw Lu Yichuan getting up early, trying on several outfits, styling his hair, and putting on cologne.

At first, he thought he was going on a date, until he saw the man pour enough food for several days into his bowl and bend down to say goodbye.

“I might not be back for a few days. Be good at home.”

He glanced at the date on Lu Yichuan’s phone and realized it was Qingming.

Was he going to visit his grave?

It was still raining on Qingming Festival. Song Zhang was already waiting downstairs.

Seeing Lu Yichuan, he offered him his umbrella and complained, “It’s been raining so much this year, for a whole week straight. I’m almost growing mold.”

Hearing his complaint, Lu Yichuan chuckled. “It’s the rainy season, it’s supposed to rain.”

Song Zhang looked at him, his heart skipping a beat when he saw his relaxed expression. “Lu Yichuan…”

Lu Yichuan turned to him and patted his shoulder. “Why are you looking at me like you’ve seen a ghost? Let’s go. The sooner we go, the sooner we get back. Didn’t you say you have to visit your grandfather this afternoon?”

He seemed perfectly normal, no different from anyone else visiting graves on Qingming Festival.

But it was this normalcy that made Song Zhang uneasy.

“Lu Yichuan, what’s wrong with you?”

The man looked at him. “Hmm? What do you mean?”

Song Zhang looked away. “Did the Jiang family say when they’re going? Should we avoid them?”

“No need.” Lu Yichuan opened the car door and got in. “Jiang Zhuo told me his brother is sick and hospitalized. His parents can’t come, so he’s going alone.”

Song Zhang was silent.

He wanted to say something, but he didn’t know what to say.

Lu Yichuan fastened his seatbelt, seemingly oblivious to his hesitation. “You don’t have to come if you’re busy. It’s not a big deal.”

A chill ran down Song Zhang’s spine. “What do you mean? How is it not a big deal?”

“It’s not a big deal. Jiang Heng and you weren’t that close either. You don’t have to come with me every year. You have your own things to do.”

He added, “And you don’t have to feel guilty. That incident wasn’t your fault. I was confused and blamed you wrongly.”

His words stung Song Zhang like a needle.

Four years ago, if he hadn’t called Lu Yichuan because of an emergency, Lu Yichuan and Jiang Heng wouldn’t have separated, and Jiang Heng wouldn’t have gotten on that bus.

He had been like a mother hen to Lu Yichuan all these years, taking care of him tirelessly. He couldn’t even tell anymore whether it was because of their friendship or something else.

Song Zhang retorted, “Do you think I want to accompany you? Look at yourself, would you even be able to make it back without me?”

Lu Yichuan tossed him a pack of gum. “Thanks. But there won’t be a next time.”

Song Zhang, clutching the gum, turned to him in surprise. “What do you mean ‘no next time’?”

Lu Yichuan blew a bubble. “I mean, I won’t be troubling you to drag me back anymore.”

The chill didn’t dissipate, but instead intensified.

Song Zhang’s grip on the gum tightened, almost crushing it. His smile was strained. “No need to trouble me? Are you saying you’re finally moving on?”

The man beside him looked at the rain outside, his voice languid. “Sort of. People have to move on.”

People had to move on, but Lu Yichuan wouldn’t.

The expensive cemetery was spacious and deserted. There was no one around when Lu Yichuan and Song Zhang arrived.

The rain had lessened when they got out of the car. They didn’t bother with umbrellas, and Lu Yichuan put on a baseball cap.

Jiang Zhuo was already there. A bouquet of chrysanthemums lay in front of the tombstone, and he was looking down, seemingly talking to it.

Seeing them approach, Jiang Zhuo stepped aside.

He explained to Lu Yichuan, “Xingbai’s condition is still quite serious. He can’t leave the hospital, so he can’t come today. They’ll come together when he’s better.”

Lu Yichuan looked at the black and white photograph on the tombstone. “You don’t have to explain. Whether they come or not is their choice. Besides…”

He bent down and placed the jasmine flowers in his arms in front of the tombstone. “The dead are gone, the living are more important.”

His understanding made Jiang Zhuo speechless. “Yichuan, Xingbai was wrong that day, I’ve already talked to him. He won’t appear in front of you again.”

Lu Yichuan didn’t even glance at him.

Song Zhang gave him a look. “We’ll go wait down there. You can stay with him for a while.”

After everyone left, Lu Yichuan wiped the raindrops off the tombstone.

He leaned against the tombstone and slowly sat down. The surroundings were misty. The tall man sat there, his cheek against the cold stone, his fingertips tracing the boy’s face in the black and white photograph.

Trying to warm the cold stone.

Lu Yichuan didn’t speak. He just sat there, as if asleep.

Only when he was completely soaked did he move his fingertips.

“Sorry…”

His voice was hoarse. “I came here and didn’t even talk to you.”

“But it wouldn’t matter anyway. You can’t hear me.”

“If you could hear me, why wouldn’t you come find me?”

The wind blew past him, icy cold.

“Rongrong is always silent.”

“Silent.”

“Not even visiting me in my dreams.”

“But it’s okay…”

He said with a smile.

“We’ll see each other soon.”

He leaned forward and gently kissed the photograph, a kiss that carried the dampness of Qingming.

“Living is too tiring.”

“I’ve tried my best to live for four years.”

“Rongrong understands me, right?”

“…”

“Since you’re not saying anything, I’ll take that as a yes.”

…

Song Zhang waited until noon before Lu Yichuan finally appeared. He was surprised because in previous years, Lu Yichuan wouldn’t leave until nightfall.

“Why are you back so early this time?”

Lu Yichuan sat down beside him. “I had nothing more to say, so I left.”

Song Zhang felt something was off, but before he could figure it out, Lu Yichuan said, “It’s raining harder again. Let’s eat something before we go.”

They were at a small restaurant near the cemetery entrance. They ordered two bowls of noodles. The food wasn’t particularly good, but they finished it anyway.

Unexpectedly, the rain didn’t lessen after they finished eating; instead, it turned into a downpour.

They could only wait for the storm to pass.

Perhaps because of the holiday, or perhaps because of the weather, Song Zhang couldn’t resist asking Lu Yichuan for a cigarette.

He stared at the rain, a rare feeling of sentimentality washing over him, perhaps because he had heard that Lu Yichuan was finally ready to move on.

“To be honest, seeing you like this these past few years, I’ve sometimes regretted it.”

“Regretted saving you that time.”

That scene, even now, made Song Zhang shudder.

He couldn’t even remember how he had managed to open Lu Yichuan’s door. Blood was everywhere, the wound so deep he could see bone. If he had arrived even a moment later, Lu Yichuan would have been dead.

“I was studying medicine back then, I thought I was a savior, saving people was my mission. I’ve saved so many people over the years, and I’ve never regretted it, except for you…”

Lu Yichuan didn’t speak.

Song Zhang thought that perhaps being alive was the greatest punishment for him.

He hadn’t told Lu Yichuan, but watching him endure countless long nights, eyes wide open, and then act as if nothing was wrong the next day, he had wanted to tell him:

Just give up.

But his professional ethics wouldn’t allow him to say those words.

So he had stayed by Lu Yichuan’s side, enduring with him. One year, two years, three years…

Eventually, Song Zhang finally understood.

Lu Yichuan had already died, died on that bright, sunny afternoon.

He was like a broken watch with a new battery forced inside. No matter how methodically the hands moved, there was only one ending –

Stopping.

Song Zhang took a drag of his cigarette. “So I’m happy, happy that you’re finally letting go. People have to move on.”

Lu Yichuan rested his hands on his knees. In front of him were rolling hills, tombstones dotting the landscape, gleaming coldly.

He would find his place among them soon enough.