Chapter 4: The Function of a Body Pillow
“Ouch, young man, you… get up quick! Is your butt okay??”
Yu Weixi covered his face with his hands… The collision had sobered him up.
…
…Fuck!
Yu Weixi jolted. He stood up, one hand rubbing his butt, the other frantically mashing the elevator buttons.
Damn, damn, damn, damn it!
Yu Weixi stared lifelessly at the elevator as it ascended, heading to the floor the old man had pressed.
Yu Weixi finally remembered what was inside that box.
When the elevator finally returned to its original floor, Yu Weixi leaped out. He saw Feng Yan standing to the side with his arms crossed, and at his feet was that conspicuous… life-sized body pillow.
Yu Weixi: “…”
Why the fuck didn’t Feng Yan leave? Why is he still here??
Feng Yan looked at the Yu Weixi before him—fluffy hair, loose pajamas, and a casually thrown-on jacket, his face still showing a bit of grogginess from just waking up.
Feng Yan subtly reached up and touched his own face.
So cute.
Yu Weixi stood frozen in front of Feng Yan, staring at the mini-Feng Yan lying on the ground. To pick it up or not to pick it up, that was the question.
Right now, he was embarrassed. Very embarrassed.
The worst thing was the sudden silence in the air.
Adhering to the principle of “if I’m not embarrassed, then someone else is,” Yu Weixi put on a cold, matter-of-fact expression, knelt down, and put the pillow back into the box.
“Yo.”
Feng Yan raised an eyebrow from the side. “I didn’t realize the little Dance King had such a fetish. Yikes~”
He threw the exact words Yu Weixi had said to him earlier right back at him.
Yu Weixi’s expression didn’t change. He said in a cool tone, “I also didn’t expect someone to send me this thing to disgust me. I should have opened the box downstairs to check first.”
Feng Yan asked curiously, “And after checking?”
Yu Weixi looked up at Feng Yan. “Then I could have thrown it directly into the big trash can downstairs. The dry waste category.”
—The kind that not even pigs would eat.
“You’re so heartless. We played a couple, at least.” Feng Yan clutched his chest, feigning heartache.
“Is Film Emperor Feng very free?” Yu Weixi narrowed his eyes. “Weren’t you in such a hurry just now that you couldn’t even see where you were going? You still have the leisure to flirt with me here?”
“Well, it is my life-sized body pillow, after all.” Feng Yan gestured with his chin toward the incredibly risqué pillow. “Naturally, I’d like to know why you have it.”
It was simply too bizarre.
Heaven knows what thoughts had gone through Feng Yan’s mind before the elevator doors opened for him to be able to stand here and banter with Yu Weixi now.
“I already told you, a hater sent it.”
“Then what do you plan to do with it?”
“Don’t be hasty.” Yu Weixi sneered. “I’ll tell you tonight.”
With that, Yu Weixi hoisted the box, held his head high, and walked away with an air of cool arrogance.
The kind of swagger that disowned all relatives, all while wearing watermelon-patterned pajamas.
Feng Yan couldn’t resist. He secretly took out his phone and filmed Yu Weixi’s retreating back as he carried the large box away.
Then, one-click upload.
@Actor Feng Yan: Ran into a big star.
[Video]
…
When Yu Weixi got home, he felt like an immortal who had just returned to the celestial court after completing his mortal trial. He collapsed on the sofa, and before he could even catch his breath, his phone chimed.
It was a WeChat message from his assistant.
{Big Bro Yu… you’re on the hot search again.}
After seeing the hot search, Yu Weixi realized that his damn mortal trial wasn’t over yet.
Real-time Hot Search Ranking
-
Yu Weixi’s swagger that disowns all relatives (hot)
-
Yu Weixi’s pajamas (hot)
-
Feng Yan posts photo of Yu Weixi in pajamas (hot)
Yu Weixi: “…”
Extreme anger brought a strange calm, and his thoughts became unusually agile. Yu Weixi instantly thought of a way to kill two birds with one stone.
First, Yu Weixi asked a fitness-loving group member for something. Then, Dylan bot started its business for the day early.
@DylanLovesToDance_: Suddenly got into boxing recently. The punching bag hasn’t arrived yet, so I’ll make do with something a hater sent me for now. [Photo][Photo]
The first photo was of boxing gloves. The second showed an indoor boxing stand by the floor-to-ceiling window in Yu Weixi’s home, with a foam mat underneath. However, hanging from the stand wasn’t a punching bag but… Feng Yan’s life-sized body pillow.
Yu Weixi had even thoughtfully wrapped a piece of cloth around the naked part.
Weibo instantly exploded.
Yu Weixi successfully achieved his goal—hardly anyone was discussing that “swagger that disowns all relatives” video anymore. Everyone was just “hahahaha-ing” at the body pillow.
Feng Yan’s fans were so angry they were about to ascend to heaven on the spot. Encountering Yu Weixi was a daily trial for them.
The FengYu shippers were being cursed out by both sides’ solo stans, taking the blame for “sending ship-related products and merchandise of the other party.” However, being cursed at was one thing; this group was still as happy as if it were the New Year, adding another milestone to their journey of “publicly bickering but secretly flirting.”
“Finally solved.”
Yu Weixi curled up on the sofa, looking at the reactions on Weibo and snorted. “If I couldn’t have solved it, I would have killed you.”
Yu Han sat beside him, still shaken. He had almost been thrown out of the apartment by Yu Weixi.
But it was his fault for not checking the contents of the package first.
“You and Film Emperor Feng have a pretty strange dynamic.” Yu Han was also scrolling through his phone, not knowing whether to laugh or cry. “He doesn’t like you, does he?”
“Bullshit. The person he likes is Luo Yucheng.” Yu Weixi said with disdain. “His taste is so low.”
“Luo Yucheng…?” Yu Han thought for a moment, then asked for confirmation, “That new singer Luo Yucheng who sang ‘Falling Rain’?”
“Yeah, he’s also acted in quite a few dramas.”
But his acting was about on par with Yu Weixi’s. The only difference was that Yu Weixi openly admitted he was a landmine to be avoided, while Luo Yucheng was the hard-working type. At least in front of the camera, he appeared humble, diligent, gentle, and sensible.
“Ah… Ze worked with him on a movie before. He said…”
Yu Han leaned closer to Yu Weixi and said mysteriously, “He said that this Luo Yucheng person is…”
Yu Weixi coolly finished his sentence, “A bitch. A white lotus.”
“Cough, cough, cough…” Yu Han had wanted to be more tactful.
“Cough, cough… Well, how did you know, Xixi?”
“Didn’t I work with him?” Yu Weixi rolled his eyes.
Back then, in The Coast’s Solitude, Yu Weixi and Feng Yan played the male leads, and Luo Yucheng played the friend and wingman of Feng Yan’s character.
“He clung to Feng Yan all day, and Feng Yan actually fell for it.” Yu Weixi commented again, “Low.”
Yu Han didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. “Well, his public image is quite good. He only uses his dirty tricks on people who pose no threat to him or on his competitors. Plus, his looks are just too suitable for it.”
Luo Yucheng’s appearance was the standard elegant and handsome type, with delicate features like an otherworldly immortal. His demeanor was gentle and shy.
“It’s fine, Xixi, you’re still publicly recognized as the number one beauty in the entertainment industry! Look, even the haters don’t have the face to say you’re not good-looking. Every press release is about you being a sugar baby, a seductive fox, a pretty vase, and…”
“Oh, thank you so much. Why don’t you just shut up? Should I help you apply to be a crosstalk comedian?”
Yu Weixi took out his game console, and the two of them sat in front of the TV and started playing.
Yu Han waved his hand. “Sigh, that Luo Yucheng really isn’t on the same level as you. Whether it’s looks or ability. You’re already the Dance King of Asia, a professional dancer from the US who transferred to the domestic entertainment industry. He’s still wavering between singing and acting.”
“Are you trying to kill me with praise?” Yu Weixi didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. “I already said the body pillow incident is over. I won’t throw you out. Save your breath.”
On the TV screen, two anime characters were beating each other up, jumping around with flashy special effects. Yu Weixi had a naturally competitive personality. Seeing his character gradually losing, a murderous glint appeared in his eyes.
He wouldn’t back down even in a game.
Yu Han smiled as he watched Yu Weixi, feeling a sense of pride as if his own cub had grown up. He continued, “And last year’s top ten in the global handsome men ranking, and this year’s number one beauty in Asia. That’s not killing with praise, is it?”
Yu Weixi rolled his eyes on the outside but was secretly delighted on the inside.
Seeing Yu Weixi’s smug look, Yu Han thought to himself, Cubs really do need to be coaxed by stroking their fur the right way.
But their group’s cub was truly beautiful. Alluring but not at all effeminate, like a sculptor’s most exquisite work. Every line, from the curve of his cheeks and the bridge of his nose to his long, narrow phoenix eyes, seemed to have been perfectly measured.
“So… Xixi, please believe that you’re the best! Even if you have to work with Luo Yucheng next, please don’t tear him to shreds by hand…” Yu Han finally got to his main point.
Yu Weixi: “…”
Yu Weixi: “What did you say??”
With his attention diverted for a second, Yu Weixi’s character in the game took a punch, leaving him with only a sliver of health.
Yu Han rubbed his nose. “Ze told me that Luo Yucheng will also be joining the second season of All-Round Teen Idol…”
Yu Weixi, an original cast member of All-Round Teen Idol: “…”
Yu Weixi: “I’ve been fucked by a dog.”
“Mmm.” Yu Han’s expression was grave. “Just pretend you’ve been fucked by a dog, but please don’t bully him too much in front of the camera. You know his persona, a weak little white flower. If you bully him, you’ll be criticized.”
“My brain would have to be fried for me to bully him. He’s not worthy.”
Yu Weixi manipulated the controller, launching a counterattack with his remaining health.
“I was just worried you’d get angry because he’s pestering Feng Yan again…” Yu Han muttered under his breath.
Yu Weixi’s hands paused. “No need. It’s not like it was back then. They should be together by now.”
“But that’s not confirmed, is it?” Yu Han frowned slightly.
There were rumors, but if they were to go by rumors, weren’t there even more rumors about Yu Weixi and Feng Yan?
Yu Weixi fought back from the brink of defeat and KO’d Yu Han’s character.
“I said, Yu Han, why are you so talkative? What they do is none of my damn business.”
Except for Yu Weixi, the rest of the group was relatively unknown. Since Yu Weixi didn’t have much work recently, the two of them spent the afternoon decadently playing games. When Niangao came back, he leaned against Yu Weixi, clinging to him while doing his homework. If he had a question, he could ask Yu Han.
In the evening, Yu Weixi received the cast list for the second season from his manager. As expected, Luo Yucheng was on it.
Yu Weixi: “…”
And… Feng Yan is on it too!
Although there was a [Pending] next to his name, it meant that the Film Emperor was at least considering it.
Heh, scummy couple, coming to a show in a pair.
Shameless.
Author’s Note:
Xixi: Feng Yan likes that Luo Yucheng!
Feng Yan: ?????
