Chapter 79: Can’t Squeeze Out a Fart
Having been firmly told off by his wife in the hospital, Li Ge was quite miserable when he returned to his residence. He couldn’t even bring himself to mention the “breakup” with his fake partner, looking at his own mother with unspoken words.
Min Lanshu knew something was wrong with her precious son as soon as she saw him. Otherwise, would his hand be injured? She rolled her eyes at her son but couldn’t bear to scold him, only saying, “You’re just fooling your mother.”
“…” Li Ge promptly changed the subject, “Mom, I’ll drive you to the hospital.”
“What hospital? I came to see you.” Min Lanshu didn’t dwell on her son’s breakup and instead comforted him, “If it’s not meant to be, you can’t force it. Mom won’t persuade you, just don’t be sad. What do you want to eat for dinner?”
“…” Li Ge would rather his mother scold him a few times. Now he couldn’t even muster the courage to test the waters. He instantly became an obedient son, hugging his mother and acting coquettishly, “Mom, I’m really sad.”
“You child…” Min Lanshu couldn’t hold her tall son and patted his back, “Alright, don’t be sad. Mom won’t say anything, won’t say anything about our little treasure.”
Li Ge felt guilty, “You should say something, it’s okay to scold me a few times, or hit me a few times to vent your anger.”
“Are you messing with me?” Min Lanshu punched her son, “Don’t do it again, just don’t wrong the girl, be decent.”
“Yes.” Li Ge released his mother and scanned the spacious living room, missing his wife and his wife’s little nest, wondering what Chen Shuo was doing at home.
Min Lanshu felt sorry for her son, who hadn’t acted so coquettishly with her in a long time. It was obvious he was deeply hurt, probably dumped by the girl, too embarrassed to say.
Before tidying up the guest room, she comforted her son again, “Xiao Bao’er, Mom will stay with you in Beicheng for a while longer. I’ll go to the supermarket in a bit and make your favorite seafood dumplings for dinner.”
“…” Li Ge was stunned. Wasn’t this a complete failure?
He quickly chased after her to the guest room and explained, “Mom, I’m fine, really, I’m not that sad. Why don’t you go back after Yuan Feng gives birth? I’m busy with work, I can’t take care of you.”
“Take care of yourself.” Min Lanshu glanced at her son.
How could Li Ge have known that a moment of guilt would dig him a hole, one he fell into and couldn’t climb out of, thus forcing him and his wife to start a long-distance relationship in the same city.
That night, Li Ge went crazy on WeChat with Chen Shuo.
Xiao Bao’er: [Wife, I miss you so much, it’s so fucking uncomfortable! It’s my 20th birthday, and my mom wants to celebrate it with me. It looks like she’s going to wait until Yuanbao is one month old before going back. I can’t go find you now. I’ll go to the hospital with her tomorrow morning to see Yuan Feng, and I’ll find some time to come over in the afternoon. Wait for me at home (crying hard).]
When he received Li Ge’s message, Chen Shuo had just finished cooking his noodles. Seeing the wailing little yellow face at the end, he immediately thought of the video Fei Fan had sent, it seemed that Li Ge had really cried in front of him.
It was already seven o’clock, and it had been more than four hours since he had parted with Li Ge. He sent a “kiss” emoji to comfort Li Ge and replied, [Have you had dinner?]
Xiao Bao’er: [I have, my mom made seafood dumplings. What are you doing? You haven’t sent me a message in several hours, if I don’t take the initiative to find you, you don’t know to find me, right?]
Chen Shuo couldn’t tell Li Ge what he had been doing this afternoon for the time being. But his life was monotonous and uninteresting, with no social life, and besides, he had already gone to the hospital to see Yuan Feng, he was afraid his little treasure wouldn’t believe his lies.
So he thought for a moment and replied: [I went to the gym this afternoon, I was a bit tired when I came back and took a nap, I just woke up not long ago, I’m about to eat some noodles I cooked.]
But as soon as he lied, Li Ge got angry with him and lost his temper.
Xiao Bao’er: [Fuck, why did you go to the gym again? I fucking told you there are a lot of fucking homosexuals at the gym. You’re already so big, and you’re so handsome, lying there is just seducing people (angry).]
“…” Chen Shuo hadn’t thought too much when he lied. Seeing that Li Ge was angry, he didn’t even eat his noodles. He had to find a way to make his little treasure happy, but it was a bit difficult since he wasn’t by his side.
Xiao Bao’er: [You go out and fool around as soon as I’m not watching you. If you want to exercise, can’t you do push-ups at home?]
Xiao Bao’er: [[Emoji]]
“…” Chen Shuo looked at the little dinosaur breathing fire emoji that Li Ge had sent separately, imagining Li Ge’s fierce appearance, his eyes must be glaring at him, and he would definitely be cursing.
On this side, Li Ge, who was lying on the sofa like a corpse, wasn’t actually that angry. He was just setting the rules for his wife, he had to make Chen Shuo remember who he belonged to at all times.
Seeing that Ms. Min was still busy in the kitchen, he shouted twice, urging his mother to go take a shower and rest. Suddenly, a new message popped up on WeChat.
Wife: [Husband, don’t be angry (kiss, kiss).]
“Fuck!” Li Ge was so excited that he sat up straight, wishing he could fly to that small apartment right away and kiss his darling wife to death, his mouth was so sweet now.
Min Lanshu brought out a plate of cut watermelon and sat on the sofa to chat with her son, to enlighten him, but saw her son grinning foolishly at his phone, not looking heartbroken at all.
“Don’t use profanity, eat some watermelon.”
“…” Li Ge suppressed his excitement and honestly picked up a fruit fork, took a piece of watermelon, and put it in his mouth. As he chewed, he urged, “Mom, don’t work too hard, go take a shower and rest, the housekeeper will come and tidy up tomorrow. I have to go out, Fei Fan is looking for me.”
Min Lanshu knew about the Fei family’s child, he had a good character but was a bit playful and immature. Inviting her son out at night definitely wasn’t for anything important.
She didn’t disagree, asking her son how he had injured his right hand, and said, “Rest more so your wound will heal faster. You’re a grown-up now, you have to learn to take care of yourself.”
“…” Li Ge really wanted to tell his mother that he now had a very good wife who knew how to live, who was very good at taking care of him, and he didn’t have to worry about anything in his life. Besides not being able to have children, she was good in every way.
But Li Ge couldn’t bear to break this harmony. After some hesitation, he decided to test the waters after his birthday.
As for his wife, he could only endure it for now. While Ms. Min was eating watermelon, he secretly sent a dirty text to Chen Shuo to satisfy his craving.
Xiao Bao’er: [Wife, let me see your dick.]
Chen Shuo was eating noodles. When he saw the message, he almost choked, speechless.
Just the previous message, Li Ge had been coaxed by his one “husband,” sending him crying emojis and acting coquettishly, saying he missed him. How could he jump to this step so suddenly?
But then he thought, Li Ge was a pervert who liked to play the hooligan, it wasn’t strange for him to say or do anything. He might as well let him be, as long as he could make his little treasure happy.
Wife: [I know, I’ll take a shower later.]
Unexpectedly, his wife was so cooperative. Li Ge was so excited that he went crazy. He was in Cao’s camp but his heart was in Han. He didn’t even care about his mother for a moment and took the opportunity to say what he wanted to say.
Xiao Bao’er: [When my mom goes back, I’ll take you to see a house. Don’t say no, it’s for our future marital home, a home for my darling wife, you know?]
Chen Shuo stared at his phone screen, motionless. After carefully reading the new message Li Ge had sent, word by word, from beginning to end, he finally replied to Li Ge.
He actually had a thousand words he wanted to say, but a thousand words were not as good as a “thank you.” The other words could be said slowly in the days to come.
Chen Shuo wanted to thank Li Ge for entering his life.
For becoming a couple with him, for giving him a home.
Wife: [Thank you, husband.]
“Fuck!” This time Li Ge was so excited that he stood up straight, startling Ms. Min beside him. Only then did he realize and quickly put away his phone, calmly explaining, “Mom, I just closed a big project. You don’t know how difficult this project was, I’ve been talking about it for a year, and I just finalized it today, I’m so excited.”
Min Lanshu had always been quite satisfied with her son’s career and asked curiously, “What big project?”
“They just agreed, I’ll tell you after the contract is signed.” Li Ge stretched and said cheerfully, “Mom, I’m going back to my room to sleep now, you should go to bed early too.”
Min Lanshu: “Go ahead.”
Fortunately, the guest room was a certain distance from the master bedroom. As soon as he returned to his room, Li Ge secretly locked the door, finally free. He immediately sent a video call to his wife.
Chen Shuo answered, and the first thing he saw was the triumphant and flamboyant smile on Li Ge’s face.
“Wife,” Li Ge’s voice was a bit soft, and he looked directly at Chen Shuo and asked, “Did your ‘thank you’ just now mean you agree?”
Chen Shuo nodded at the camera, “Yes.”
“At least you’re sensible.” Li Ge pouted at the camera, “I’ll reward you with a kiss. Let me see what noodles you’re eating, why are you always making do when I’m not around?”
“I’m not making do.” Chen Shuo switched to the rear camera and showed Li Ge as he spoke, “I just heated up the leftovers from noon, it’s considered noodles with toppings.”
Li Ge: “That’s just making do, you see, you can’t live without me, right? By the way, wife, can you make dumplings?”
Chen Shuo: “I can, I’ll make them for you next time if you want to eat them.”
Li Ge: “When I saw my mom making dumplings, I thought it would be great if you were making them with her. I want to take you home for the New Year, so you won’t be alone.”
Chen Shuo switched back to the front camera and met Li Ge’s gaze.
He liked this kind of chat, just chatting about anything, even if it was meaningless. He didn’t have to deliberately find a topic, just the very ordinary daily life between a couple, life in its most original form.
“Xiao Bao’er,” Chen Shuo looked at Li Ge and said, “It’s okay for me to be alone, I’m used to it. We can video call like this.”
Knowing what Chen Shuo meant, Li Ge was unhappy, “I can see you but I can’t touch you, aren’t you uncomfortable? I’m uncomfortable. I didn’t even get to suck a few mouthfuls before I had to rush back, fuck.”
Chen Shuo: “…”
Li Ge saw that Chen Shuo was silent. That expressionless face was also quite magical, sometimes he liked it, sometimes it made him angry, like right now.
“I feel like you don’t miss me. I’m the one who’s thinking about you here, and you’re a quiet one who can’t even squeeze out a fart. It’s like asking for your life to say a few nice words, you really need to be dealt with.”
“I miss you,” Chen Shuo suddenly said, “I’m also uncomfortable.”
Li Ge scoffed and asked, “How much?”
Chen Shuo was just worried that he would put pressure on Li Ge by saying it, and he also didn’t want to be too lustful. Being too lustful would easily lead to losing control and hurting Li Ge. But he really missed Li Ge, there were many things he wanted to do to Li Ge, not just kissing and hugging.
Li Ge wanted to see his, and he actually wanted to see Li Ge’s too.
Li Ge: “I’m asking you, are you asking for a scolding again?”
The longing broke through the dam. Chen Shuo couldn’t hold it in and said, “I miss you very much, come over tomorrow afternoon, let me hold you.”
Li Ge was instantly overjoyed and asked again, “Just holding?”
Chen Shuo said seriously, “Yes, I just want to hold you.”
Li Ge’s expression changed, “Fuck, you’re not being good again, you just wait.”
Chen Shuo then said, “Okay.”
The next day, after having lunch at the hospital, Li Ge rushed to his wife’s house. As soon as he entered the apartment, he was hugged tightly. Chen Shuo’s two arms were so strong that he almost suffocated him, he couldn’t move at all.
“You fucking, are you trying to murder your husband?”
Although he knew Li Ge was almost out of breath, Chen Shuo still couldn’t control himself and held Li Ge very, very tightly, so close to him, so seamlessly.
“Xiao Bao’er,” he said, “The thongs you bought arrived this morning, I’ve washed them for you, they’re dry.”
“…” Li Ge suddenly smiled, “You want to see me wear them?”
Chen Shuo: “Yes.”
Li Ge: “That was a set, which one are you referring to?”
Chen Shuo: “Wear them all.”
Li Ge: “You secretly horny person, hurry up and serve me in the shower!”
The carefree days briefly returned. Li Ge was served comfortably by his wife in the shower, and he was almost dazed by the kisses. He lay on the bed like a king, and when he continued to enjoy his wife’s service, his thigh was suddenly hot, something dripping on his skin.
Li Ge opened his eyes and was terrified, his heart pounding violently.
He quickly sat up and used his hand to cover Chen Shuo’s nose, “Fuck, why are you suddenly bleeding! Quick, quick, wife, you cover it first, I’ll go get some tissues.”
“…” Chen Shuo himself was stunned.
His palm was covered in blood. Li Ge was scared and frantically pulled out tissues, then helped Chen Shuo stop the bleeding. Even after it stopped, he was still worried and said anxiously, “I’ll get dressed first, I’ll take you to the hospital right away.”
His nose was no longer bleeding. Chen Shuo grabbed Li Ge, “It should be fine, maybe… maybe I was a bit emotional, it’s not bleeding anymore.”
“It dripped on my leg, you think it’s fine?” Li Ge hadn’t even had time to take off his thong. He hurriedly put on his pants and then went to help Chen Shuo put on his pants, “Be good, wife, I’ll only be at ease after we go to the hospital for a checkup.”
Chen Shuo had regular physical examinations every year and thought it wasn’t a big deal, but seeing Li Ge so anxiously helping him put on his pants and clothes, as if he was afraid he had a terminal illness, he was happy in his heart.
“Xiao Bao’er, thank you.”
“Fuck, you still have the mood to thank me, I was almost scared to death by you.” Li Ge complained, “Why are you such a genius? You can even get a nosebleed from putting on a bra, people will laugh at you if they hear about this.”
Chen Shuo: “…”
