Chapter 28
What was the difference between this and holding a warm, fragrant beauty in his arms? Shao Sui couldn’t resist the temptation and, suppressing his OCD, continued to lie there. However, he couldn’t fall back asleep, so he picked up his phone and started scrolling through short videos.
He muted the volume first, and as soon as he opened the app, he saw a chubby blue cat staring back at him.
He glanced at Mimi, sleeping soundly on his arm, and quickly double-tapped the screen, sending a red heart.
After adopting Mimi, Shao Sui, who used to dislike small animals, could now occasionally appreciate the cuteness of other animals, but if Mimi was with him while he was scrolling, he wouldn’t even dare to pause, let alone like a video, or he would get punched.
If Shao Sui deliberately teased him and didn’t scroll away, Mimi would even try to swipe the screen himself. If several videos in a row featured cats, Mimi would become furious and bite the phone.
The kitten didn’t understand Big Data recommendations; it only knew that its human was looking at other cats, which was utterly infuriating.
Shao Sui scrolled mindlessly, the spot on his lips where Mimi had licked him still feeling slightly damp, reminding him he had been kissed by a young man that morning.
He couldn’t ignore it, it was distracting.
Shao Sui lowered his head and, pretending to kiss Mimi’s head, rubbed the dampness onto the cat’s fur.
“Mrow…”
Mimi, without opening his eyes, patted Shao Sui’s chin with his paw and continued to sleep.
Finally, when the sun was high in the sky, Mimi woke up, stretched, using Shao Sui’s face and chest as support. The sunlight illuminated his fur, the kitten’s languid stretch incredibly endearing.
“Are you hungry?”
“Meow.”
Mimi stepped onto Shao Sui, preventing him from getting up, then expertly grabbed the hem of his pajamas and pulled it up, continuing to walk forward until his paws were directly on Shao Sui’s chest, then he started kneading.
“…”
Shao Sui, recalling online comments about kneading being a sign of heat, felt a strange mix of emotions. His vision was blocked by his pulled-up pajamas; he wasn’t sure if Mimi’s “little red pepper” was showing.
What was this?
Being molested by a cat? Mimi probably didn’t even know what “molested” meant.
He should send Mimi to a prison where the warden was named Shao Sui, to be strictly disciplined and properly educated.
Despite his wicked thoughts, Teacher Shao maintained a calm facade, “Is it uncomfortable?”
Mimi let out a muffled meow: “Mrow!”
It didn’t know what was happening to it either. It had been going on for days, not even subsiding in its human form, and Shao Sui wouldn’t let him touch him, so it could only endure.
I won’t turn human today, then Shao Sui won’t be able to refuse me.
Shao Sui was unsure what to do. Neutering was out of the question; Mimi could turn into a human, he would hate him forever.
Find a female cat for him to… spend some time with?
Shao Sui felt uneasy about this too. Would the female cat come to his apartment, or would Mimi go to hers?
What if she got pregnant? Wouldn’t he become a grandpa?
If he found a neutered female cat, it felt like… prostitution… and which cat owner would willingly offer their precious daughter to another male cat?
Cats didn’t even experience pleasure.
Teacher Shao was so worried he wanted to light a cigarette.
He had to find a solution. Online articles said cats in heat often tried to escape and find mates. What if Mimi ran away while he was at work?
He could lock an ordinary cat in the apartment, but not Mimi, who could transform into a human and open doors.
If Shao Sui was some kind of pervert, he could handcuff Mimi and lock him in a dark room, but he was a teacher.
He felt a strange sense of anxiety, as if his child was about to elope.
“Is it also uncomfortable when you’re human?”
“Meow.”
Shao Sui hesitated: “Have you ever… touched yourself?”
Normally, adolescent boys instinctively knew what to do, but…
Mimi tilted its head while still holding onto his pajamas, “Meow?”
Shao Sui tried to make the topic sound serious, “The one you use for peeing.”
Mimi understood. Shao Sui also had one; it had wanted to play with it before. But the kitten didn’t understand what “touching” meant and continued kneading Shao Sui’s chest.
Shao Sui hinted, “If you feel uncomfortable again, you can transform into a human and touch it yourself.”
Mimi: “Meow, meow.”
They stared at each other for a moment, and Shao Sui shuddered, feeling like a pervert, saying such strange things to a cat.
But Mimi claimed to be a cat, yet he could turn into a human, so what was the meaning of him kneading his chest?
No more kneading.
Shao Sui coldly pushed the cat away, “I’m going to make breakfast.”
Mimi, sprawled on the bed, was furious, “Meow! Meow!!”
So he really doesn’t love me anymore!
Shao Sui opened the refrigerator and took out a portion of the dwindling homemade cat food, placing it in the steamer. He hadn’t made a new batch in a while; Mimi, in his human form, preferred junk food.
Mimi followed him to the kitchen, jumped onto the refrigerator, and punched him.
Shao Sui deliberately misinterpreted its anger: “Don’t worry, breakfast will be ready soon.”
Technically, it was brunch. It was already 10 AM, he wouldn’t eat again in two hours.
Mimi jumped onto the stove and punched Shao Sui again.
“Don’t singe your fur.” Shao Sui pushed the cat away. “Other kittens knead on blankets, look at you, you have to knead on me.”
“Meow, meow, meow!”
Why else is it called kneading!
Mimi stood on the floor, looking at Shao Sui’s exposed ankles. There were two round scars near his Achilles tendon.
“What are you looking at?” Shao Sui started steaming the mantou. “You bit me there, remember?”
Mimi immediately bit Shao Sui’s ankle, but after gnawing on it for a while without breaking the skin, it turned and walked away.
Soon, the sound of the TV came from the living room. Shao Sui’s heart skipped a beat. He peeked out and, seeing it was the cat, not the human, on the sofa, breathed a sigh of relief.
He hadn’t had enough nuzzling yet.
Humans tended to feel more self-conscious around other humans, so even Shao Sui’s cat-nuzzling became restrained, afraid of acting like a pervert and being judged by Mimi in his human form, which would truly be mortifying.
“Come and eat.”
Shao Sui sat on a dining chair, Mimi on the table.
Both were eating at the table, after all.
Mimi pawed at Shao Sui’s bowl, wanting a mantou.
“No.” Shao Sui refused. “You can’t digest high-carb foods.”
“Meow!”
How can I eat only dishes without rice!
Just then, there was a noise outside. Shao Sui just glanced over, and Mimi, with lightning speed, snatched the half-eaten mantou from his bowl, placed it in his own bowl, and started chewing slowly.
What a cat wanted, a cat would get.
“…Only a little bit.” Shao Sui asked, “Not turning human today?”
Mimi, without looking up, meowed.
This was good too.
Less embarrassing.
Shao Sui, mentally prepared, carried the cat into the bathroom.
Mimi backed away warily, “Meow?”
“Not for a bath, to teach you how to use the toilet.” Shao Sui adopted his teacher voice. “Most men pee standing up, but in our house, we value hygiene, so we sit down. Like this person in the video, understand?”
Shao Sui showed Mimi a video on his tablet, a stick figure tutorial on how to pee sitting down. He even demonstrated himself, though without taking off his pants.
“If your… thing is pointing in the wrong direction, you can adjust it.”
Mimi, oblivious to human modesty, jumped onto Shao Sui’s lap and pawed at his waistband.
Shao Sui covered himself, “Using the toilet is also a private matter, you can’t show others, not even cats.”
Actually, most people didn’t mind cats watching. But so what? Mimi couldn’t go to other cat-owning households to verify this, and it wasn’t shown on TV.
And Shao Sui still received a cat punch.
“You’re not supposed to show others.”
“Meow!”
Mimi was hurt. Shao Sui was making up lies to distance himself from him.
He often saw male humans on the streets unzip their pants and pee in the bushes, completely unashamed, not avoiding anyone, the opposite of what Shao Sui said.
“Why don’t you transform back into a human?” Teacher Shao, constantly being assaulted, said, “It’s hard to communicate like this.”
“Meow?”
Mimi, who hadn’t had his fill of human form, said: I don’t understand.
Seeing that it had no intention of transforming, Shao Sui stood up, holding the cat: “Anyway, that’s how humans use the toilet, remember?”
Mimi, lying in his arms, nonchalantly licked its paws.
Shao Sui threatened, “Not paying attention in class? Next time you pee outside the litter box, you’ll see how I punish you.”
The most troublesome task was teaching him how to bathe.
The landlord had installed a piano-key style showerhead, a thermostatic model, which was relatively easy to teach. The old-fashioned kind with rotating knobs to adjust the water temperature and pressure would confuse a cat.
Shao Sui let Mimi wait by the shower door, took off his shirt, stepped under the shower, and demonstrated, “This button on the far right turns on the overhead showerhead, the water pressure is very strong, you won’t like it, so don’t press it.”
“Meow, meow, meow—”
You’re not taking off your pants!
Shao Sui completely misunderstood, thinking Mimi was agreeing with him. “The second button from the right turns on the regular showerhead, the water pressure is gentler.”
He sprayed water on his upper body. “Not scary at all, is it? You can direct the water wherever you want.”
Mimi craned its neck and meowed, “Meow, meow!”
The showerhead is peeing!
Teacher Shao said, “Looks comfortable, doesn’t it? You can try it next time you’re human, I’ll wait outside, don’t be afraid.”
This time, Mimi extended its paw and tugged on Shao Sui’s wet pants.
Shao Sui: “…Want me to take them off?”
Mimi let out a soft meow.
Shao Sui took a deep breath and complied. He kept telling himself, just a cat, just a cat, even as a human, he’s still a cat, I’ve seen it before.
“After wetting your body, turn off the shower, pump some shower gel… from this bottle.” Shao Sui squatted down to show the cat. “Apply it all over your body, then turn on the shower again after lathering, rinse thoroughly.”
Shao Sui demonstrated the entire process, essentially taking a shower before going out. He planned to take Mimi to the area near the Chinese medicine clinic today, a good opportunity for social training.
“After rinsing, dry yourself with a towel, then you can get dressed.”
As soon as Shao Sui turned around, he saw Mimi propping itself up with one paw on the shower door, the other raised, ready to pounce. He knew this wasn’t good, but before he could react, Mimi swiped at his genitals.
Having done the deed, Mimi bolted, but its long fur caused it to stumble at the bathroom door. It tried to get up, but its fate was sealed as Shao Sui grabbed it by the scruff of its neck.
Teacher Shao smiled gently: “What were you doing, baby?”
