Chapter 9: Mala Crispy Pork

Chen Ji had no clue that a mere tinfoil box would hold anything worth licking so eagerly. The System Cat must have flipped some incredible switch inside itself, barking orders left and right all the way up the mountain. By the time they neared the summit, the bamboo basket was stuffed to the brim with all sorts of mushrooms.

Chen Ji couldn’t help but marvel, “How do you spot them so precisely?”

Piles of dead leaves bulging suspiciously were one thing, but even fungi hidden under fallen logs or just peeking out of the soil—the System Cat nailed them every time.

The System Cat fell suspiciously silent for a moment before declaring righteously, 【Full Territory Scan!】

Chen Ji raised an eyebrow. “Didn’t you say that thing drains a ton of your energy?”

The System Cat puffed up proudly. 【A measly three-kilometer model? Piece of cake!】

Chen Ji pressed, “……? So, are there plants like madder, sappanwood, mulberry, or indigo—dye sources—in that three-kilometer radius?”

【Emmm… Can’t tell you. Giving the host cheats like this would get the system in hot water.】 The System Cat sounded genuinely conflicted, then suddenly blurted, 【Hey hey hey, Chen Ji, over there! Mushrooms! Mushrooms!】

Chen Ji followed the massive arrow in his mind and turned his head. There was nothing but a sparse patch of weeds—no sign of any mushrooms. He hefted his sickle like it was second nature, stepped forward, yanked up a handful of weeds, and slashed them down. He was about to dig into the soil when the System Cat drawled in a weird tone, 【Oh… my bad, I goofed.】

The next instant, the system prompt chimed in: 【Congratulations, host Chen Ji! Task [Repair Mountain Lord Temple · Primary Color] (1/3) completed. Recorded as [Madder]. Task item stored in System Backpack. Keep up the great work!】

Chen Ji: “……”

The System Cat: 【Hey, that’s got nothing to do with me!】

Chen Ji couldn’t help but laugh. When the young man smiled, a gentle warmth softened even the corners of his eyes and the tips of his brows. “Got it. I cut this grass myself—what’s that got to do with the system?”

【Exactly, exactly! That’s the spirit!】

Man and system silently forged a united front.

Spring was the season when the mountains overflowed with bounty, and someone like Chen Ji—who always planned three steps ahead—certainly hadn’t come equipped with just a single bamboo basket. When he spotted another prime cluster of mushrooms, he whipped a Magic Pocket out of his outdoor jacket pocket with a flourish and started stuffing them in, even poking a few small holes in the bottom to let the spores spread along the trail.

As he packed, Chen Ji chuckled to himself. “I should start a livestream and land a sponsorship for this Magic Pocket. Right now, it’d be the perfect seamless product placement.”

The System Cat perked up. 【Product placement? What kind? …Can that even air?】

Chen Ji shot it a look. “……? You just cherry-pick what you wanna hear?”

【……】 The System Cat caught on. 【Pfft! Bah! You corrupted me!】

Chen Ji flashed the cold, ruthless grin of a heartless capitalist. “Once things quiet down in a couple days, we’ll go live and you can do some edging content. Little Cat edging? Bet it’d pull tons of viewers. You could earn your own cat treats and keep me fed on the side.”

The System Cat bristled. 【Chen Ji, are you even human?!】

Chen Ji fired back instantly, “Nope.”

They bantered as they climbed toward the peak, Chen Ji’s innate biological compass finally kicking in. He didn’t even need the System Cat’s guidance to know the general direction.

Suddenly, Chen Ji halted. Curious, the System Cat tapped into his viewpoint and saw him staring at a wildflower poking out of the brush. It looked bizarre—like a twig jabbed straight into the dirt, topped with a string of flower buds.

Before the System Cat could ask, Chen Ji strode over, cradling a bud with his slender fingers. He examined it closely, then said to the System Cat, “Come out here for a sec.”

The System Cat materialized from thin air. Chen Ji plucked the flower and held it to its mouth. “Give it a taste.”

Thinking it was some delicacy, the System Cat chomped down—then spat furiously. 【Pah! So bitter! Chen Ji, you jerk! You did that on purpose!】

No sooner had it finished griping than it caught Chen Ji staring at it intently, like he was waiting for something. The System Cat huffed, 【What’re you looking at? It’s bitter, sure, but not poisonous!】

Chen Ji nodded solemnly, crouched down, and began digging with his sickle. He scooped out a pit beside the plant.

After excavating about a foot deep, he shifted to more careful digs toward the flower itself. Soon he ditched the sickle altogether, clawing at the soil with his hands. The root soon emerged, and Chen Ji teased away the dirt bit by bit along its edges. The System Cat watched, dumbfounded. 【……What on earth are you doing?】

Chen Ji was a neat freak; the System Cat would’ve never imagined him digging in the dirt barehanded.

“Shh…” Chen Ji had no time to reply.

Moments later, his fingertips hit soft soil again. Judging it deep enough, he stood, gripped the stem, and yanked toward the pit. Out came a massive, potato-like tuber. He sniffed it, catching that familiar funky scent, and nodded in satisfaction.

He’d smelled it, so the System Cat had too. It wrinkled its nose in disgust. 【What the heck? Smells like chicken shit.】

Chen Ji laughed in exasperation at that, rubbing a mud-caked hand over the cat’s head. “Please, use that all-knowing brain of yours to look it up. This is wild gastrodia—super expensive. Stew it up back home, and it’ll blow your mind.”

The System Cat’s eyes lit up at “blow your mind.” 【For real? For real?!】

“For real.” Chen Ji gave its broad back another rub, cleaning his hands on its fur in the process. He tucked the gastrodia into a separate bag, rinsed his hands with the mineral water he’d brought, then hoisted the little cat onto his shoulder—wiping his hands on its belly a couple more times for good measure.

Oblivious to being used as a living hand towel, the System Cat zoned out, already mentally surfing the web for how amazing this stuff tasted in soup. Chen Ji paid it no mind and resumed foraging in the underbrush.

He’d anticipated a big haul before heading up, so he’d packed extra bags. Now the two Magic Pockets and the bamboo basket were full, and while he had three more on him, carrying them by hand was a pain. He needed bamboo.

He knew there was some higher up. Split a suitable pole down the middle, cut it to length, and it’d make a perfect shoulder yoke. If the load got too heavy, he could even lash together a simple sled.

He searched the area—no luck here. The back slope definitely had some; might as well head that way. No big deal.

Unbeknownst to him, Chen Ji had wandered out of the System Cat’s cheat zone. His stamina was flagging, but he knew better than to rest now—if he ate lunch here and lounged a bit, by the time he reached the back slope and returned, it’d be dark.

For all his self-confidence, Chen Ji wasn’t about to stumble down mountain trails in the pitch black. No telling how he’d end up dead without anyone the wiser.

After trudging farther, he emerged from the woods. Chen Ji shaded his eyes against the glaring sun. The warm rays chased away the damp chill clinging to his skin. He squinted in bliss. This was a flat clearing dotted with low shrubs and grass; he remembered a water source nearby—perfect for washing his hands.

The System Cat was a system at heart, not a real cat, so getting its fur wet and letting the mountain breeze dry it wouldn’t cause a cold!

Chen Ji worked efficiently. He found the stream, cleared a spot nearby, unpacked his self-heating meal, then dragged the protesting System Cat to the water. He added filter tablets to a scoop of water, washed his face and hands, and once clean, wrestled the cat over and gave it a thorough towel-down from head to tail before carrying the freshly groomed feline back to eat.

Only when he sat did Chen Ji realize how exhausted he was. His back ached, his shoulders throbbed, his legs burned like fire, and every inch of him felt like it’d been run over by a semi-truck—each muscle screaming its own complaint. Even opening his mouth felt like effort; he picked at his food listlessly.

The System Cat’s eyes gleamed slyly. 【Chen Ji, you tired?】

Chen Ji shot it a withering glance.

The System Cat cleared its throat dramatically. 【Ta-da! System Special Stamina Recovery Agent—for just one hundred points! High-tech stamina boost for only a hundred points!】

That “hundred” meant contribution points from tasks, of course. Chen Ji rarely bothered with those; the points were still from the system’s newbie starter pack.

Chen Ji didn’t hesitate. “Pass.”

The System Cat’s smug expression crumpled. 【Huh? No, really? It’s a steal! One sip and you’re at full stamina! Only this cheap ’cause you’re still in the newbie protection period—normally it’d cost ten thousand!】

Chen Ji turned his icy side-eye on it. Crestfallen, the System Cat slunk to his knee, draping its paws over it and nuzzling his arm repeatedly. 【C’mon, buy it! Buy it! Otherwise my sales this month are zilch again! The other systems will laugh at me, waaah~ Chen~Ji~】

It milked his name for all it was worth, drawing it out pitifully. Chen Ji’s expression didn’t budge. “What, you systems compete with each other?”

The System Cat nodded frantically. It had become the punchline of the whole system community after failing to nudge Chen Ji into tasks for half a year. It pawed the air pleadingly. 【Just buy it! I wouldn’t scam you—this stuff works great! It’ll jump to ten thousand later! Think of it as backup meds~!】

Chen Ji paused. “Fine. But in a couple days, you do that livestream edging gig.”

The System Cat: 【……Gah?!】

Staring at Chen Ji’s chiseled jaw, the cat went slack-jawed, its mind ping-ponging between cursing him out and more begging.

Suddenly, Chen Ji scooped it up in one hand, gripped his sickle in the other, and tensed, eyes locked on the stream. The foliage across the water rustled violently, and out poked a massive cat head.

Sort of.

White fur, ‘king’ markings—a feline through and through.

A colossal White Tiger emerged from the brush, moving with leisurely grace, his piercing blue eyes fixed unblinkingly on Chen Ji.

The sensation of being locked onto by a top predator was no less terrifying than the Yellow Weasel’s earlier stare—pure, impending doom.

The System Cat: 【Holy crap!】

【Quiet.】 Chen Ji snapped to cold focus. Panic wouldn’t help; he needed a plan.

He sized up the White Tiger’s powerful build. No chance of outrunning it. Tigers climbed trees, so that was out too. Counter-killing? Unlikely.

As the White Tiger drew closer, Chen Ji swallowed hard. A layer of clammy cold sweat broke out on his palms while his mind raced desperately for some way to escape. He’d never heard of wild tigers around these parts back home!

He recalled that Africa Big World documentary, which mentioned how animals often observed a strange truce near water sources. They generally refrained from attacking one another there… but that was Africa, not here.

Chen Ji studied the tiger’s appearance, but he couldn’t tell if the beast was full or not. Think, you idiot, think!

Suddenly, inspiration flashed through Chen Ji’s mind. Physics wasn’t going to save him, so metaphysics it was. He remembered something from his grandfather’s notes: in times of danger, certain little rituals could diminish or conceal one’s presence, causing the threat to simply overlook you.

Fresh waves of cold sweat drenched his back, yet his hands remained steady. How did it go again… Metal, Wood, Water, Fire, Earth?

Metal from the sickle, wood from the bamboo basket, water from the mineral water, earth from right here on the ground, and fire… Chen Ji’s gaze drifted to the alcohol blocks he’d been using for the barbecue. He took a slow step backward, eyes locked on the White Tiger. This stare-down was meant to unnerve it, placing any wild animal on alert and discouraging rash attacks—at least, if the tiger had any hostile intentions.

The bamboo basket lay right at his feet. Chen Ji tilted his body slightly and reached in with one hand to pull out an alcohol block. He lit it with his lighter and set it on the tin foil plate. Each block burned for about ten minutes, and he had five or six left. He nudged the basket forward a bit, then slowly ground his foot against the earth to scrape up some soil. The mineral water bottle was already nearby. Bending down carefully, he laid the sickle on the ground.

All the while, he kept his eyes glued to the White Tiger. Who knew if this mystical trick would even work? What if it didn’t? He couldn’t abandon his only weapon. He had to be ready to snatch up the sickle for a counterattack at a moment’s notice. If the White Tiger lunged at him, he figured he could hold his own as long as it didn’t snap his neck right away. A few deep gashes ought to give it pause.

In the next instant, the White Tiger’s gaze grew visibly dazed. Then it stopped looking toward Chen Ji altogether and padded over to the stream, where it lowered its head to drink. Chen Ji let out a huge sigh of relief. No attack meant all was well.

Just finish drinking and wander off, he thought.

Chen Ji made no move to draw the White Tiger’s attention. Whether the ritual had truly worked or the beast simply wasn’t interested in him, he wasn’t about to provoke it. His curiosity wasn’t nearly strong enough to risk his life for it.

Still, with his eyes unable to stray, Chen Ji boldly took the opportunity to admire the White Tiger.

What a sight—a real white tiger! Sure, zoos had them, but nothing compared to one in the wild.

He was magnificent, his fur gleaming snow-white, his eyes sparkling like sapphires. Even that barbed tongue of his didn’t look ferocious as it curled delicately to lap at the water. Somehow, the tiger managed to appear refined and polite.

As Chen Ji watched, he began to relax. The System Cat whispered softly: 【Can I talk now?】

Chen Ji: 【Take a photo! Group shot!】

System Cat: 【??? So you can include it with your death certificate as evidence?】

Chen Ji: 【Just take the damn picture!】

In the midst of their back-and-forth bickering, the White Tiger raised its head and started walking from the stream toward Chen Ji. Man and cat fell instantly silent. Caught between faith in metaphysics and faith in science, Chen Ji chose to trust his gut. He was just about to grab the sickle and bolt when the White Tiger suddenly leaped across the stream in a single bound, landing right beside him.

The old saying went that clouds followed dragons and winds followed tigers. A powerful gust from the leap buffeted Chen Ji, freezing him in place for a crucial second. Then the White Tiger brushed right past his pant leg.

And headed straight for…

—the Haidilao Self-Heating Hotpot, Mala Crispy Pork Flavor.