Chapter 31
Liang Xusheng observed Lu Xun closely, but he seemed perfectly normal: busy with meetings, reviewing documents, taking calls, and discussing work with colleagues. The small gestures – bringing him Sprite, picking out chili peppers from his food, chatting during breaks – seemed like ordinary acts of friendship, nothing more.
He messaged Lulu: [I think I was wrong.]
Lulu replied with the photo of their kiss under the fireworks: [What was that again?]
Liang Xusheng: “…” Can we please be serious?
Lulu: [I don’t understand how you can think you’re wrong. Tell me your reasoning.]
Liang Xusheng described Lu Xun’s behavior that day.
Lulu: [Of course, he’s working at the office! What else would he be doing? Tell me about your interactions.]
Liang Xusheng sent her a photo he had secretly taken of Lu Xun picking out chili peppers from his food: [He picked out the chili peppers for me.]
Lulu: [Seriously?! Why did you even order spicy beef if you don’t eat chili peppers?! Do you know the last time I saw someone do that? It was my grandpa picking out cilantro from my grandma’s noodles! Slamming book on table emoji. What straight guy does that for his bro?! How can you think you’re wrong?! Shaking you violently emoji. He wouldn’t do that if he didn’t like you! He’s a rich CEO! He wouldn’t care if you ate chili peppers or dirt!]
Liang Xusheng: “…”
While he was messaging Lulu, Lu Xun, leaning back in his chair, was watching him with amusement.
Later that evening, as Lu Xun was patiently picking out chili peppers from his food again, Liang Xusheng said, “You’re so patient, picking out the chili peppers for me.”
Lu Xun glanced at him. “Mm.”
“You really don’t have to,” Liang Xusheng said, scratching his head. “I can do it myself.”
“You’ve always been picky about your food,” Lu Xun said calmly. “No chili peppers in spicy dishes, no ginger or scallions in steamed dishes. Only one brand of Sprite. Always the same barbecue places.” He continued, without looking up, “Picking out chili peppers is the least I’ve done for you. I did your homework in junior high, inflated your bike tires in high school, brought you breakfast and attended your classes in college.”
Liang Xusheng: “…” He’s right.
“Here,” Lu Xun said, handing him his plate. “Eat.”
“Thanks,” Liang Xusheng said, grinning. “You’re the best. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
He relayed Lu Xun’s words to Lulu, who replied with the fireworks kiss photo: [He did your homework, so it’s okay to kiss you under the fireworks? He inflated your bike tires, so it’s okay to kiss you? He brought you breakfast, so it’s okay to kiss you? Hmph. Don’t try to fool me. I think he’s liked you since junior high. Why else would a teenage boy do all that for you?]
Liang Xusheng: “…” His suspicions, instead of being dispelled, had intensified.
As they waited for the elevator, he sighed.
“What’s wrong?” Lu Xun asked, looking at him.
“Nothing,” Liang Xusheng said, shaking his head.
Lu Xun smiled, unable to help himself.
In the car, as Lu Xun reached over to fasten his seatbelt, Liang Xusheng paused, watching him. Is this just a friendly gesture?, he wondered, suddenly remembering a scene from their teenage years: they were playing basketball, and during a break, he had noticed his shoelaces were untied. Lu Xun had knelt down and tied them for him.
Your hands broken? Can’t even tie your own shoes?, his friends had teased.
He finally realized how much Lu Xun had done for him throughout their lives, small gestures he had taken for granted. I’ve always taken him for granted.
But is this love?, he wondered again, unsure. He felt it was, and yet, it seemed so ordinary in the context of their friendship. He needed more evidence.
The car stopped at the flower shop. He watched as Lu Xun got out and walked towards the shop. Do bros give each other roses? Red roses?, he asked himself. He knew it would be red roses. He had received so many lately that his desk was overflowing with them.
As Lu Xun returned, handing him the bouquet through the car window, Liang Xusheng’s heart skipped a beat. He was almost certain now.
He sat quietly in the car, holding the roses, not messaging Lulu, not talking to Lu Xun. The silence in the car amplified the sound of his own heartbeat. He realized something else: Lu Xun had never hidden his feelings. It was he who had been oblivious.
He looked down at the roses, then out the window, the passing scenery blurring like the memories flashing through his mind: Lu Xun winning him a stuffed animal, buying him a panda balloon, taking his pictures, asking him to watch a movie, trying on a ring with him, holding his hand while signing documents…
So that’s it, he thought. I’ve been so blind.
“What’s wrong? You’re so quiet,” Lu Xun said.
Liang Xusheng sighed softly.
Lu Xun glanced at him, noticing his unusual silence. This time, Liang Xusheng didn’t try to hide his emotions. He carried the roses into the elevator, into their apartment, and straight to his study, without a word, just a silent wave of his hand.
Lu Xun watched him go.
Liang Xusheng placed the roses next to the others on his desk and sat down, his expression unreadable. He took out his phone and messaged Lulu: [You were right. Lu Xun likes me.]
Lulu replied with a celebratory GIF: [What are you going to do?]
Liang Xusheng leaned back in his chair, twisting his phone in his hand. [I don’t know.] He wasn’t making excuses; he genuinely didn’t know. His mind was blank, his emotions numb.
He sat there for a moment, then went to the window, opening it to let in the night air. Lu Xun likes me? Since when? How much? Why? Isn’t he straight? He wondered why he felt so numb.
What are you thinking?, he asked himself, but there was no answer.
“Xusheng, are you asleep?” Lu Xun knocked on his door.
“I ordered barbecue. Want some?” Lu Xun asked, entering the room.
“Sure,” Liang Xusheng replied flatly.
He was unusually quiet during dinner. Lu Xun kept glancing at him, concerned.
“Song Zhihao was suspended,” Lu Xun finally said, trying to start a conversation.
“Good riddance,” Liang Xusheng said, nodding. “It won’t end there. I’ve been calling my parents, telling them to make sure he can’t work in finance again.”
“You’re that angry?” Lu Xun asked.
“Of course,” Liang Xusheng replied. “He insulted you. I don’t care about what he said about me, but I won’t let him get away with insulting you.”
Lu Xun smiled.
Liang Xusheng, realizing his actions might be misinterpreted now that he knew Lu Xun liked him, quickly added, “I just couldn’t stand it!”
“I know,” Lu Xun said, still smiling.
“Hey, you…” Liang Xusheng started to say, then stopped, his ears turning red.
Lu Xun, noticing his blush, smiled wider.
“I’m just… hot… from the barbecue,” Liang Xusheng stammered, trying to explain his blush. “Don’t get any ideas.”
Lu Xun’s smile deepened. What ideas could I possibly have?, he thought, his expression clearly implying otherwise.
Liang Xusheng looked away, fidgeting, his awkwardness confirming Lu Xun’s suspicions.
Lu Xun just smiled, continuing to eat, his gaze fixed on Liang Xusheng.
Chapter 32
Lulu: [A trip? What stage of your relationship are you two in now? Why a sudden trip?]
Liang Xusheng, packing his suitcase: [Lu Xun suggested it.]
Lulu: [Where to?]
Liang Xusheng: [A City.] Where they went to college. His old roommate, Lao Zhang, who lived there, had invited them for a visit. Liang Xusheng, always eager for new content for his Douyin account, had agreed.
Before the trip, he met with Lulu.
“So, what are you going to do now that you know Lu Xun likes you?” she asked.
Liang Xusheng shrugged.
“Just accepting it?”
“It’s not about accepting it,” he said. “I’m just going with the flow. What else can I do? Talk to him? He doesn’t want to talk. Do something else? Like what? We’re legally married. I can’t just reject him and get a divorce.”
“I’m asking about your feelings for him,” Lulu clarified.
“I don’t know,” Liang Xusheng repeated.
Lulu smiled knowingly.
“What’s with that look?” Liang Xusheng asked.
Lulu just smiled without answering.
“Tell me,” he insisted.
“If you didn’t like him back, you would have told him, not avoided the conversation,” Lulu finally said. “And you’re a straight guy. Being pursued by another man, especially your best friend, should be disturbing, right? But you’re saying you don’t know? Do you know what that means?”
“What does it mean?” Liang Xusheng asked.
Lulu showed him the fireworks kiss photo again. “It means you have feelings for him too.”
Liang Xusheng choked. What?!
Even as he boarded the high-speed train with Lu Xun, he couldn’t shake off Lulu’s words. No way. How could she possibly think that?
“What are you thinking about?” Lu Xun asked, looking at him.
Liang Xusheng shook his head, dismissing Lulu’s ridiculous claim. He was definitely straight, and his feelings for Lu Xun were purely platonic. Lulu was mistaken.
“I never explored the city when I was in college,” he said, browsing travel guides on his phone.
“Too busy being a knight in shining armor, rescuing damsels in distress,” Lu Xun said, also on his phone.
“I was just popular,” Liang Xusheng chuckled. “And you had more admirers than me. Most of the love letters I received were for you.” He added, “I was always annoyed that you were always surrounded by girls.”
“Are you bringing up the past?” Lu Xun asked, looking at him.
“You started it,” Liang Xusheng retorted.
Lu Xun chuckled.
Liang Xusheng, seeing his smile, wondered what Lu Xun was thinking, now that he knew his feelings. He seemed to be waiting for him to bring it up. Liang Xusheng quickly looked away, suddenly feeling like he was the one with a secret. He’s so patient, he thought, admiring Lu Xun’s restraint.
“Let’s visit the campus while we’re there,” Lu Xun suggested.
“Definitely,” Liang Xusheng agreed. “We have to eat at the cafeteria and visit my sycamore tree.”
In A City, Lao Zhang picked them up from the train station.
“Nice car,” Liang Xusheng commented, admiring the Porsche with its pink interior.
“My wife’s dowry,” Lao Zhang explained. “Couldn’t afford it myself.”
“Your wife is amazing,” Liang Xusheng said.
At Lao Zhang’s apartment, they had a delicious home-cooked meal, Lao Zhang’s pregnant wife joining them.
“They claim they’re straight,” Lao Zhang said to his wife, gesturing towards Liang Xusheng and Lu Xun.
“What do you mean ‘claim’?” Liang Xusheng asked. They were straight.
“Lu Xun was practically living in our dorm room in college,” Lao Zhang continued. “And Liang Xusheng, if you said anything bad about Lu Xun, he would jump down your throat.”
“Okay, okay,” Liang Xusheng said, laughing. “Don’t embarrass us in front of your wife.”
Later, at the hotel, Lao Zhang was surprised to see they had booked two separate rooms. “Why are you guys staying in different rooms?”
“We had a fight on the train,” Liang Xusheng said quickly, making up an excuse.
Lao Zhang looked at them, then at the front desk. “You’re married now. Just make up in bed.” He told the receptionist they only needed one room. “They’re experienced at this. They used to fight all the time in college, then make up the next day.”
Liang Xusheng: “…”
Lu Xun smiled.
Liang Xusheng wanted to glare at him, but knowing Lu Xun liked him and probably wanted to share a room, he couldn’t bring himself to do it. He sighed inwardly. Fine, I’m just that irresistible.
In the elevator, he said to Lu Xun, “One bed, two blankets.”
“I’ll sleep in the bathtub,” Lu Xun replied.
“Still getting their PDA even after all these years,” Lao Zhang sighed.
“There was no PDA before,” Liang Xusheng insisted.
“Sure,” Lao Zhang said, teasing him. He turned to Lu Xun. “Is he still this stubborn now that you’re married?” He then added a suggestive comment, making Liang Xusheng kick him.
“You’re disgusting!”
“You too!” Liang Xusheng said, kicking Lu Xun, who was smiling.
“Want to visit the campus this afternoon?” Lao Zhang suggested as they reached their room. “We can have dinner at the cafeteria.”
“Sure,” they agreed.
Soon, they were driving onto the campus, having exchanged their IDs for visitor passes.
“Wow,” Liang Xusheng said, looking at the familiar trees lining the road. It hadn’t changed at all.
They parked and walked around the campus, reminiscing about their college days.
“Look,” Lao Zhang said, pointing at the library.
Liang Xusheng and Lu Xun looked at it, their eyes filled with memories.
“I’m going to the basketball court,” Lao Zhang declared.
“I’m going to the south gate cafeteria,” Liang Xusheng said.
“Did they add two new buildings?” Lu Xun asked.
They wandered around, revisiting familiar places, their past selves superimposed on the present. Liang Xusheng remembered walking in and out of the dorm building with Lu Xun, waiting for him under the sycamore tree, playing basketball together, eating at every cafeteria window… So many memories, all with Lu Xun.
“It’s not surprising you two got married,” Lao Zhang said.
Liang Xusheng chuckled and turned to look at Lu Xun, his heart skipping a beat as he met his intense gaze. At least back then, it was just friendship, right?, he thought.
He went to the restroom, remembering how he used to drag Lu Xun with him even to the bathroom.
“Remember how someone always needed company in the restroom?” Lu Xun said, washing his hands beside him.
“That was me,” Liang Xusheng admitted, splashing water in the sink.
“You haven’t forgotten,” Lu Xun said, smiling, and looked at him in the mirror.
Liang Xusheng quickly looked away and turned around.
Lu Xun continued washing his hands, silent.
That evening, at the cafeteria, Liang Xusheng ordered a huge bowl of spicy hotpot, the price, exorbitant for a student cafeteria, reaching 70 yuan. The portion was so large it had to be served in two bowls.
“Your appetite hasn’t changed,” Lao Zhang commented, impressed. “He still eats like this?” he asked Lu Xun.
“Mm,” Lu Xun confirmed.
“Impressive,” Lao Zhang said. “You must be spending a fortune feeding him.”
“I’m not a dog,” Liang Xusheng protested. “I don’t need to be ‘fed.'”
“Lu Xun fed you throughout college,” Lao Zhang chuckled. “You never brought your own meal card. You always used his, and you never topped up your own card, just his.” He added, “You were worse than a dog. At least dogs carry their own bowls. Lu Xun brought you your food, all ready to eat, practically spoon-feeding you.”
Liang Xusheng: “…” He remembered, embarrassed. “Let’s eat,” he mumbled.
Lao Zhang chuckled, exchanging a look with Lu Xun, who smiled at Liang Xusheng.
“I didn’t mind,” Lu Xun said suddenly.
Lao Zhang cringed. Liang Xusheng paused, startled, then quickly looked down at his food.
After dinner, Lao Zhang went to buy drinks, and Liang Xusheng and Lu Xun walked to the large sports field in front of the cafeteria.
“Just like old times,” Liang Xusheng said, stretching, watching the students playing soccer and running.
They walked in silence, then sat down on a bench, watching the activity on the field.
Liang Xusheng didn’t know what to say. His college memories were filled with Lu Xun; he couldn’t talk about the past without talking about him.
Lu Xun was silent because he knew his past was filled with evidence of his love for Liang Xusheng.
They sat there quietly.
At some point, Liang Xusheng’s hand, resting on the bench beside him, brushed against Lu Xun’s.
And at some point, Lu Xun’s hand, the one with his wedding ring, covered Liang Xusheng’s.
They didn’t move, didn’t speak. But in that shared silence, they both understood.
