Chapter 25
After yesterday’s events, Pei Songji was the last person Jing Ciying wanted to see. He instinctively wanted to avoid him.
But Pei Songji was standing right by the entrance, blocking his path.
He could go back inside and wait for him to leave, but it was a flimsy plan. And as he hesitated, Pei Songji turned around.
He knew he couldn’t avoid him. He continued walking.
He was no longer a naive college graduate. He forced a smile, although it was thin and brittle, a mask of politeness.
“Mr. Pei,” he said.
Pei Songji, who had been hesitant, approached him.
“What are you doing here?” Jing Ciying asked, his voice laced with surprise.
“Waiting for you.”
Pei Songji knew he had little leverage now, and Jing Ciying’s patience was wearing thin, so he got straight to the point. “I need to talk to you. Can we go somewhere?”
“I see…”
Jing Ciying checked his phone. “I’m sorry, Mr. Pei, but I have to go to work. I’m already late. I don’t have time.”
“I know,” Pei Songji said quickly. “Then when you’re free?”
He sounded almost pleading, but Jing Ciying shook his head. “I’m working on a new project. I really don’t have time.”
Pei Songji recognized the dismissal.
He abandoned his plan for a private conversation, deciding to say it now.
“I came here to…”
“Mr. Pei, I’m going to be late,” Jing Ciying interrupted, subtly hinting he had to leave.
But Pei Songji ignored him. “I’ll give you a ride.”
“No, thank you. I’ll take the subway.” He started walking away.
Pei Songji stopped him again. “Wait. I haven’t finished. Just a few words. Please?”
Jing Ciying stopped. He had worked for Pei Songji for years and didn’t want to be rude. He reluctantly agreed.
The “please” sounded strange. Pei Songji had never asked for his permission before. It was unsettling.
“Go ahead,” he said.
He had always addressed Pei Songji formally, but today, the formality felt strained, almost mocking.
Pei Songji spoke.
“Come back to Pei Group.”
Jing Ciying hadn’t expected that. Hadn’t he made himself clear yesterday? He wasn’t going back. And after six months, why was Pei Songji still clinging to this idea?
He was about to refuse again when Pei Songji continued, “Not as my secretary. You can choose any position you want, do what you enjoy. I’ll give you my full support. I’ll ensure you have every opportunity to utilize your talents.”
This was the offer he had come up with after a sleepless night.
He was confident he could offer Jing Ciying more than Ji Shuhuai.
But Jing Ciying refused without hesitation.
“Thank you for the offer, Mr. Pei, but no. I’m happy where I am. I like my new job and my new life.”
The hope in Pei Songji’s eyes dimmed. He looked defeated, lost.
Jing Ciying didn’t offer any words of comfort. It wasn’t his responsibility anymore.
“Mr. Pei, if there’s nothing else, I really have to go,” he said coldly.
“There is,” Pei Songji said quickly, as if snapping out of a daze.
“What?” Jing Ciying sighed inwardly, forcing himself to be patient.
Pei Songji looked at him, his voice soft, almost pleading. “Do you… really not like me at all? Not even a little? Not even a tiny bit, after all these years?”
Jing Ciying fell silent.
Pei Songji hadn’t expected much. He knew Jing Ciying didn’t like him, but he couldn’t help but ask.
He had hoped for a flicker of hesitation, a hint of reciprocation.
But Jing Ciying just laughed.
And shattered his hopes.
“Never,” he said firmly.
Despite his preparation, the word felt like a knife twisting in his gut.
Only Jing Ciying knew how to inflict the most pain.
His fingers curled into fists, but his expression remained unchanged. He even managed a self-deprecating chuckle. “I see. My mistake.”
Jing Ciying just looked at him, hoping he would finally give up.
But Pei Songji surprised him. “Then let’s forget about the past. Let’s start over.”
“Start over? Start what?”
“I want to pursue you. Is that alright?”
Jing Ciying stared at him, searching for a hint of a joke, but there was none. Pei Songji was serious.
The more serious he seemed, the more Jing Ciying believed he had lost his mind.
“No,” he said firmly.
“Why not?” Pei Songji asked quickly.
There were countless reasons, but he didn’t have time to explain. He offered a generic response. “We’re not compatible.”
“Why not?” Pei Songji persisted.
Jing Ciying was getting frustrated. Was Pei Songji truly oblivious, or was he pretending? He decided to be blunt.
“Don’t you know why?”
He was running late, but he had to end this now, before it became an endless cycle of awkwardness and unrequited affection.
“Mr. Pei, we’re from different worlds. Our backgrounds, our experiences… they’re completely different. You’ll never truly understand me, and I’ll never truly understand you. Without that basic understanding, how can there be love?”
“I can try to understand,” Pei Songji pleaded.
But Jing Ciying cut him off. “Some things can’t be achieved through effort alone. You should know that. Perhaps, initially, we could overlook our differences, pretend the distance between us doesn’t exist, but what about the long run? Eventually, one of us will get tired, and then comes the regret, the resentment. It’s better to avoid it altogether.”
“But…”
“No buts. I know this is just a whim. You miss the convenience of having me around, you realize how useful I was, how much you relied on me. But that’s not love. You can easily replace me with a new assistant.”
He almost offered to help him find a replacement, but he stopped himself. That would only prolong the awkwardness.
But Pei Songji wasn’t convinced. He gave a sad smile. “Do you think I can’t differentiate between dependence and love?”
Jing Ciying didn’t respond. “Love, to me, requires equality. But the gap between us is too vast. You can control my life, dictate my every move, with a salary that means nothing to you. I have to constantly anticipate your needs, obey your every command, never daring to disagree, reducing myself to a mere tool, executing your orders, submitting to your will.”
“You say you like me, but you don’t even know me.”
He chuckled, as if amused by something, but his next words stung Pei Songji like a slap in the face.
“Besides, normal couples don’t require one person to constantly prepare the other person’s bath, squeeze their toothpaste, lay out their clothes… that’s not a partner, that’s a servant.”
Pei Songji’s carefully prepared arguments evaporated.
He had simplified everything, underestimated the complexities of their relationship.
He wanted to argue, to promise things would be different, but words seemed inadequate. He didn’t know where to begin.
Jing Ciying, seeing his silence, continued, “And your family would never approve. Your grandparents… they’re traditional. They wouldn’t accept it. You’ll only hurt them.”
The mention of his grandparents seemed to affect Pei Songji, his expression darkening.
Jing Ciying pressed his advantage. “Mr. Pei, you have a bright future ahead of you, and I don’t want to be the one to ruin it. I’m sure your grandparents wouldn’t want that either.”
Having finally said everything he wanted to say, he felt a sense of relief.
Pei Songji remained silent, lost in thought.
Jing Ciying, assuming he had finally gotten through to him, said goodbye, preparing to leave.
“Mr. Pei, I really have to go now.”
As he turned to walk away, Pei Songji asked one last question, his voice filled with desperation.
“Is there really no chance for us?”
Jing Ciying paused, then shook his head. “No.”
“Even if our positions were reversed, you wouldn’t like me.”
