Chapter 34
“Came out? Are you crazy?!”
That was Jing Ciying’s first reaction to Pei Songji’s revelation. He was so shocked his hand went numb.
“How could you…”
He had so many questions, so many things he wanted to say, but the words tangled in his throat, a jumbled mess.
“You’re insane,” he repeated, his voice filled with disbelief.
But Pei Songji seemed unfazed, even amused.
“Are you concerned about me?” he asked again.
Jing Ciying was speechless, wanting to shake some sense into him.
Didn’t he realize the gravity of the situation?
“I’m not concerned about you. I’m worried about Elder Pei. He’s so old; can he handle this?”
Pei Songji’s voice softened slightly. “My grandfather already knew.”
“He knew?” Jing Ciying leaned against the wall for support, feeling overwhelmed by these revelations. “When did he find out?”
“After you resigned.”
“My behavior was… unusual. He noticed, but we both pretended not to know.”
“Then why did you suddenly decide to tell him?”
“Because…” Pei Songji hesitated. “He brought up the topic of marriage again.”
“And you refused?” Jing Ciying finished his sentence.
“Yes.” Pei Songji chuckled. “He asked me why, and I said…”
Jing Ciying knew what he had said. He felt a sudden dread, wanting to stop him. “Don’t.”
But it was too late.
“I told him I was in love with someone.”
Silence.
Pei Songji seemed to be waiting for a response, but Jing Ciying couldn’t speak.
“You’re insane,” he finally said, avoiding the real issue.
“Perhaps,” Pei Songji said, a hint of amusement in his voice.
“Crazy!” Jing Ciying muttered, then, remembering Ji Shuhuai’s words, asked, “You still haven’t told me why you’re in the hospital.”
“I told you,” Pei Songji said, enjoying his distress. “Because I came out to my family.”
“And then?”
“And then… I got beaten with a cane.”
“Elder Pei did that?”
“Yes.”
“Is it serious?”
“Not really. He’s old; he doesn’t have much strength left.”
“Then why are you in the hospital?”
“To make him feel bad.”
Pei Songji’s casual tone didn’t reassure Jing Ciying. “Which hospital? I’ll come and see you.”
“No need. I’m being discharged tomorrow. And Happy is waiting for you at home. Go home.”
“I…”
Jing Ciying was surprised by his refusal, falling silent, feeling a strange mix of annoyance and concern.
Pei Songji sensed his displeasure but insisted, “I’ll come and see you when I’m discharged.”
“Don’t,” Jing Ciying said quickly.
“I will,” Pei Songji said firmly.
Jing Ciying: “…”
“I promise I’ll come and see you and Happy soon,” Pei Songji said softly, his voice almost coaxing.
“Just take care of yourself,” Jing Ciying said, hanging up and heading towards the subway station.
He stopped, a sense of unease settling in his stomach.
Something felt wrong.
He knew Pei Songji well. If his injuries weren’t serious, he wouldn’t have refused his visit.
His evasiveness was suspicious.
Pei Songji, like him, tended to hide his pain.
He hesitated, then pulled out his phone and dialed a number.
He stared at the number for a moment, then pressed the call button.
After a long while, the call was answered. “Hello?” a hesitant voice said.
“Hello, Mr. Chu. This is Jing Ciying, Mr. Pei’s former secretary.”
He took a taxi, a rare indulgence, heading towards the Pei family’s private hospital, Chu Yang’s words echoing in his ears.
“Which hospital? You know?”
“Yes. He came out to his family. I told him to reconsider; his situation is different from ours. He said he would, but then he just… told them.”
“It wasn’t just about coming out. It’s because he wants to marry you.”
“Yes, I thought he was crazy too.”
“He was his personal secretary; you know his family situation. His parents are gone, and he’s an only child. Elder Pei was furious. He hit him with his cane, broke it even.”
“Discharged tomorrow? He’s lying. He could barely move when I visited him yesterday.”
“…”
“We’re here,” the driver’s voice interrupted his thoughts.
He paid the fare and got out of the car.
It was one of the hospitals owned by the Pei family.
The Pei family had a private doctor and rarely used hospitals. The fact that Pei Songji was hospitalized suggested serious injuries.
He understood Elder Pei’s anger.
Losing his own children and now his only grandson wanting to marry a man…
He would have been furious too.
But…
He couldn’t imagine Pei Songji, the pampered, delicate CEO, enduring such a beating.
He felt a strange mix of anger and concern, his heart pulling him in two directions.
He hesitated outside the hospital room, unsure how to face him.
He must have been standing there for a while because a nurse approached him. “Sir, are you looking for someone?”
“I…”
As soon as he spoke, he knew Pei Songji must have heard him.
He couldn’t hide any longer. “I’m looking for Mr. Pei.”
“He’s in this room. Go ahead.”
“Thank you.”
He pushed the door open.
Pei Songji, who had been lying on the bed, was trying to sit up, his movements slow and labored.
Jing Ciying rushed forward to help him.
He couldn’t see the extent of his injuries under the hospital gown, but his stiff movements suggested significant pain.
“How did you find me?” Pei Songji asked, his voice strained.
Jing Ciying, still unsure what to say, deflected the question. “Is this what you call ‘being discharged tomorrow’?”
Pei Songji looked slightly guilty.
“Let me see your injuries,” Jing Ciying said, reaching for his back.
Pei Songji flinched. “It’s really nothing serious.”
Jing Ciying realized he had overstepped and withdrew his hand, sitting down on a nearby chair.
Although Pei Songji had downplayed his injuries, Jing Ciying couldn’t help but say, “Mr. Pei, you were too impulsive.”
“I’m not your boss anymore. You don’t have to call me Mr. Pei.”
Jing Ciying was surprised he was even concerned about such trivial matters. He deserved the beating.
“Then what should I call you?”
“You can call me Songji.”
“Song…” he tried the name, but it felt strange, unfamiliar. “Mr. Pei,” he said finally.
Pei Songji chuckled, not pressing the issue.
“I still think you should talk to your grandfather. You don’t actually like men.”
“I don’t like men, but I like you,” Pei Songji said, his gaze steady, unwavering.
His calm intensity made Jing Ciying uncomfortable. He looked away.
“I don’t like you. We’ll never be together.”
“I know,” Pei Songji said softly, a hint of sadness in his smile, which he quickly masked. “I’m not trying to pressure you. This isn’t about you. Don’t feel obligated to reciprocate.”
“That’s easy for you to say. I know you’re suffering because of me. How can I pretend nothing happened?” Jing Ciying retorted, his frustration growing. “I told you I don’t like you. Why are you doing this? Do you think I’ll change my mind? Even if you tell the whole world, I still won’t like you.”
He expected Pei Songji to be angry, but he simply said, “I know.”
“I know you don’t like me. I’m not asking you to change your mind. I just… I know I can’t marry anyone else, so I told my grandfather the truth.”
“Why can’t you marry anyone else? You went on blind dates before,” Jing Ciying said, confused.
“It’s different,” Pei Songji shook his head. “I didn’t understand my feelings back then. Now I do, and I can’t pretend anymore.”
He looked at Jing Ciying, his gaze intense.
“I want to marry you.”
“You…” Jing Ciying started to interrupt him.
But Pei Songji continued, “I know there’s a big gap between us, and it makes you feel insecure, so… I’m willing to bridge that gap.”
Jing Ciying started visiting Pei Songji at the hospital.
Not exactly caring for him, just checking on him after work.
He didn’t have to, they weren’t related, and he wasn’t his employee anymore.
But Pei Songji’s hospitalization was, in a way, his fault.
He couldn’t ignore his conscience.
Sometimes, he thought Pei Songji was truly a master manipulator.
He hadn’t intended to get involved, but here he was.
Pei Songji seemed happy to see him every day.
It made Jing Ciying wonder if Elder Pei had hit him too hard on the head.
How could he be so cheerful after such a beating?
With nurses and orderlies attending to his needs, there was nothing for Jing Ciying to do, so he just sat with him, chatting.
Pei Songji claimed his pain subsided whenever Jing Ciying was around.
Although unsure of his newfound analgesic properties, Jing Ciying visited more often.
One day, after dinner, Pei Songji seemed restless.
“What’s wrong?” Jing Ciying asked.
Pei Songji didn’t answer, just said, “Call the orderly.”
“Orderly?” Pei Songji glanced towards the bathroom, and Jing Ciying understood. “Do you need to use the restroom? I’ll help you.”
Pei Songji hadn’t wanted to trouble him, but seeing his willingness to help, he agreed.
He had assumed Jing Ciying would wait outside, but he started unbuttoning his pants.
Pei Songji quickly grabbed his pants, the sudden movement triggering a sharp pain in his back. He winced.
Jing Ciying stopped, startled. “What’s wrong?”
“Have some decency,” Pei Songji muttered.
Jing Ciying realized he was embarrassed.
But they were both men; what was there to be embarrassed about?
Besides…
“Have you forgotten? I used to prepare your bath every day. And you’ve bathed in front of me before.”
The memory made Pei Songji blush. It had seemed so normal back then, but now, it felt… intimate.
Seeing his embarrassment, Jing Ciying didn’t tease him further.
They fell silent.
The small bathroom felt suddenly warm, the close proximity amplifying the awkwardness. Jing Ciying wanted to leave. “Can you manage on your own?” he asked, concerned about Pei Songji’s injuries.
“Yes,” Pei Songji said firmly, although he was still holding onto the sink for support.
Jing Ciying left the bathroom, waiting outside until Pei Songji was finished, then helped him back to bed.
The awkwardness lingered.
As Jing Ciying was about to leave, Pei Songji winced.
“What’s wrong?”
“My back hurts.”
“I’ll call the doctor,” Jing Ciying said, turning to go.
Pei Songji grabbed his wrist. “Don’t.”
He looked back to see Pei Songji sitting up slightly. “It doesn’t hurt when you’re here.”
Jing Ciying knew it was a ploy and pulled his hand away.
The sudden movement made Pei Songji wince again.
He looked at Jing Ciying, his gaze pleading.
“I can’t. Happy is waiting for me at home,” Jing Ciying said quickly, inventing an excuse.
A flicker of disappointment crossed Pei Songji’s face.
“Alright. I’ll have my driver take you home, then.”
If Pei Songji had ordered him to stay, he would have refused.
But his gentle tone, his vulnerability, made him hesitate.
He was susceptible to kindness, not authority.
He stopped at the door, then turned back.
“I’ll stay for tonight,” he said.
Pei Songji’s eyes lit up.
“Okay.”
Pei Songji’s VIP room was more like a small suite, with everything he needed, including a comfortable cot for visitors.
Jing Ciying lay down, still feeling uneasy.
“What if your grandfather comes?”
He was still intimidated by the man who had ruled Pei Group for decades.
“He won’t,” Pei Songji reassured him. “He doesn’t want to see me right now. And he’s busy with the company.”
Jing Ciying, still wanting to dissuade him, said, “Mr. Pei, shouldn’t you reconsider this?”
“I know what you’re worried about,” Pei Songji said softly, his voice almost a murmur in the dim light. “Don’t worry. I’ll handle everything.”
Jing Ciying fell silent, wanting to offer a reassuring “Okay,” but it felt wrong.
The room was quiet, the only sound their breathing.
He closed his eyes, about to drift off to sleep, when Pei Songji’s voice broke the silence.
“Did you… used to hate me?”
Jing Ciying hadn’t expected the question. He could feel Pei Songji’s gaze upon him. He kept his eyes closed, but his mind replayed the memories.
He had disliked Pei Songji.
“Yes,” he admitted.
Pei Songji fell silent, as if hurt by his honesty.
Jing Ciying didn’t respond, closing his eyes again.
Just as he was about to fall asleep, he heard Pei Songji’s voice again, soft, almost a whisper, like a dream.
“What about now? Do you like me… a little?”
