Chapter 37
Although the diagnosis wasn’t what he had expected, Jing Ciying wasn’t surprised.
He accepted it with surprising calmness. “Thank you, Doctor,” he said.
The doctor, taken aback by his composure, paused, then remembered what he had to say. “We need to run more tests. It might be early stage. Don’t be pessimistic before we have all the results. I recommend immediate hospitalization. Your family should start the admission procedures now.”
Jing Ciying was about to say he was alone when Pei Songji spoke up. “Alright, I’ll do it.”
He thanked the doctor and helped Jing Ciying out of the room.
Jing Ciying chuckled, amused by his solicitousness. “I have liver cancer, not a broken leg. I don’t need help.”
Pei Songji just looked at him, his concern deepening.
Jing Ciying, unable to offer any words of comfort, gently pulled his arm away. “Thank you for today. I can’t be hospitalized right now, so there’s no need for admission procedures. You can go now, Mr. Pei.”
“What?” Pei Songji stared at him, incredulous.
Jing Ciying knew how unreasonable he sounded, but he didn’t have the energy to explain. He offered a weak smile and turned to walk away.
But Pei Songji grabbed his arm, his grip tight, almost painful.
Pei Songji’s fingers felt like they were digging into his bone, realizing how thin Jing Ciying’s arm was, how little flesh there was.
His heart ached, his voice softening. “The doctor recommended hospitalization. We should listen to the doctor. If you don’t like this hospital, we can go to one of the Pei family hospitals. Yes, let’s do that. I was just panicking earlier, chose the nearest hospital. This one isn’t very good. Maybe they made a mistake. We’ll get a second opinion.”
He released Jing Ciying’s arm but still blocked his path, as if fearing he would leave, his eyes filled with a desperate plea.
But Jing Ciying shook his head. “Maybe another day. I’m tired.”
“Alright, then we’ll stay at this hospital. I’ll arrange a private room for you. Get some rest.”
He tried to lead Jing Ciying towards the admissions desk, but Jing Ciying didn’t move.
“Mr. Pei,” he said, seeing Pei Songji’s insistence, “I don’t want to be hospitalized. I’m tired. I want to go home.”
“Jing Ciying,” Pei Songji’s voice rose, his patience wearing thin, “didn’t you hear the doctor? Liver cancer! It’s cancer! It’s life-threatening!”
“I know.”
He felt a sudden surge of frustration, instinctively reaching for a cigarette, but his pockets were empty. He remembered leaving his last pack in Pei Songji’s car.
He had promised to quit.
He hadn’t been smoking for long, but he already felt the cravings.
He was surprised by his own thoughts. Even now, facing a life-threatening diagnosis, his mind was occupied by such trivial matters.
“I’m sorry,” Pei Songji said, his voice softening, realizing his outburst. “Just… please, get admitted. I beg you.”
“I don’t want to,” Jing Ciying refused. “I have things to take care of. I have to go home.”
He turned to leave, but Pei Songji stopped him. “What things? What could be more important than your life?”
“Work. My project is at a critical stage. I can’t leave now.”
Pei Songji was speechless, then he took a deep breath. “I’ll talk to Ji Shuhuai. He’ll understand. He’ll assign your project to someone else.”
“Don’t decide for me,” Jing Ciying said, annoyed, although he appreciated the gesture.
But Pei Songji ignored him, pulling out his phone to call Ji Shuhuai.
Jing Ciying tried to stop him, but Pei Songji grabbed his hand and started searching for Ji Shuhuai’s number.
“Mr. Pei! Stop! Pei Songji!”
He finally lost his patience, his voice rising.
The sudden outburst in the quiet hospital corridor attracted attention. People turned to stare.
He lowered his voice, his tone icy. “Mind your own business.”
Pei Songji froze, his eyes filled with confusion, then he put his phone away.
“Is your work more important than your life? The project will continue without you. They can easily find someone else. But you… you…”
He couldn’t finish the sentence, his voice trembling, his eyes reddening.
Jing Ciying understood.
“But I only have one life.”
Yes, he only had one life.
But…
What did it matter?
He didn’t explain, just walked away, past Pei Songji, towards the exit.
He was exhausted, mentally and physically. He just wanted to go home, hold Happy, take a shower, and sleep.
Pei Songji didn’t stop him, just watched him leave.
He arrived home and was greeted by Happy, who jumped off the sofa and rubbed against his legs.
He knelt down and picked up the kitten, burying his face in its soft fur.
He usually avoided holding Happy for too long, fearing cat hair on his clothes, but today, he didn’t care. He held it tightly, Happy struggling to escape his unusual embrace.
After a while, he rested his head against Happy’s soft fur, sighing wearily.
Happy, sensing his distress, stopped struggling, flopping onto its back, exposing its belly.
“Happy,” he whispered.
The kitten, although not understanding the words, recognized its name and purred.
He chuckled, repeating the name, finding a strange comfort in the sound.
“Happy.”
“Happy.”
“Happy, Happy, Happy…”
He repeated the name over and over, his smile slowly fading, his head drooping.
“Happy,” he whispered, “I’m not happy at all.”
“I’m scared. Do you know what I’m scared of? Of course you don’t. You’re just a kitten. You don’t understand anything.”
“I wish I were a cat too.”
“Maybe in my next life, I’ll be a cat, and you can take care of me.”
“Yes, a cat. Not a human. No, wait, you can’t take care of me. I have to find my sister. She must have been reborn by now. Probably just a baby.”
“I have to find her, be there for her, help her grow up. But will she even recognize me?”
“Probably not.”
“It doesn’t matter. I’ll recognize her.”
He held Happy, whispering his thoughts, his voice hoarse, until he was too tired to even get up for a glass of water.
He fell asleep on the sofa, Happy nestled in his arms.
His sleep was restless, filled with fragmented dreams, waking up after a few hours, unable to fall asleep again.
He lay there, watching the sunrise through the window, the darkness giving way to light.
Time to get up.
His clothes were wrinkled and covered in cat hair.
He couldn’t go to work like this. He showered and changed, then prepared to leave.
As he reached the door, he heard a noise. He looked through the peephole and saw someone unlocking his door.
He grabbed a feather duster and his phone, ready to call the police.
The door opened, and someone stepped inside.
His heart pounded, his brow furrowed.
It was a woman.
