Chapter 49
Jing Ciying understood his aunt’s concerns; she wanted what was best for him. He would do anything for her, except this. He couldn’t leave Pei Songji.
Even though they hadn’t been together long, even though he had initially agreed to a trial relationship, the thought of breaking up with Pei Songji filled him with a deep, almost unbearable, pain.
“I can’t, Aunt,” he said firmly. “I can do anything else for you, but not this.”
His aunt, seeing his unwavering resolve, was taken aback. “Why? Do you love him that much?”
Having grown up in a reserved family, he had always been reluctant to express his emotions, rarely uttering the words “I love you,” even to Pei Songji.
But today, facing his aunt’s question, he didn’t hesitate.
“Yes, I love him,” he said, his voice clear and steady.
“Very much.”
He received a call from Pei Songji that afternoon.
“How are you and your aunt doing?”
Jing Ciying sighed.
Pei Songji instantly understood.
“I have a meeting this afternoon, but I’ll come see you afterwards. Are you at home or the studio?”
“Studio.”
“Okay, I’ll be there soon.”
“Actually…”
“What is it?”
“Nothing. Just… come over later. I have to go now.”
“Okay.”
He hung up, putting his phone down and leaning back in his chair.
He wasn’t usually one to seek comfort or support, but now, he longed for Pei Songji’s presence.
Pei Songji arrived near the end of the workday.
Jing Ciying, seeing him, immediately stood up and hugged him tightly.
Pei Songji was startled by his unusual display of affection, then hugged him back, his voice filled with concern. “Your aunt doesn’t approve, does she?”
Jing Ciying didn’t respond, just nuzzled against his chest, his silence confirming Pei Songji’s suspicions.
“It’s okay,” Pei Songji said softly. “It takes time.”
Jing Ciying sighed. “You can’t come home tonight. My aunt is staying with me.”
“Alright. I’ll stay at my place. How long is she staying?”
“Three days.”
“I’ll arrange a farewell dinner before she leaves.”
“Okay.”
Since they couldn’t go home together that night, they lingered at the studio, reluctant to part.
Pei Songji drove him home, and they stood outside his apartment building for a while, exchanging lingering goodbyes.
His aunt was still awake when he arrived, cleaning the apartment. “You’re back! Have you eaten? I saved you some dinner.”
She put down her cleaning supplies, washed her hands, and went to the kitchen to reheat his dinner.
His heart warmed. She had been upset earlier, but she had still saved him dinner.
He took the cue, changing his shoes and following her to the kitchen. “Aunt, the apartment is clean. You don’t have to do this.”
“You only clean the surface. You never wash the sofa covers, the bedsheets… I cleaned your sister’s room this afternoon. I’ll do yours tomorrow.”
“Really, you don’t have to…”
“Nonsense. I don’t come here often. I have to take care of you while I’m here.”
He couldn’t argue with that. “There’s nothing to clean in my room. Don’t tire yourself out.”
“It’s nothing. Go wash your hands. Dinner is almost ready.”
“Okay.”
He washed his hands and sat at the dining table, where his aunt had already placed his dinner, handing him chopsticks and watching him eat.
Adults always seemed to enjoy watching children eat.
His grandparents had done that, his parents too.
As if watching a child eat was the greatest source of joy.
His heart softened. He regretted his earlier harshness.
From his aunt’s perspective, his relationship with Pei Songji was difficult to understand.
But he couldn’t break up with him.
It was an unsolvable problem.
He couldn’t find a solution, so he gave up thinking about it, focusing on his meal.
His aunt didn’t mention the breakup either.
They both avoided the topic.
He hadn’t told her about his resignation yet, fearing it would be too much for her to handle after the earlier revelation, so he got up early the next morning, intending to go to the studio.
But his aunt was already awake, the aroma of food filling the apartment.
She was making him egg pancakes.
“Smells delicious,” he said, walking into the kitchen.
“Flattery will get you everywhere. Go wash up, breakfast is almost ready.”
“Okay.”
He quickly washed his face and sat down at the dining table.
She placed a plate of freshly made egg pancakes in front of him.
“Eat up. I also made soy milk.”
“Aunt,” he said, taking a bite of the pancake, “a child with an aunt is truly blessed.”
She playfully hit his shoulder, calling him cheesy, but her smile betrayed her pleasure.
“Eat up. I’ll make some more.”
“Okay.”
“What do you want for lunch, Xiaoying? I’ll bring it to you,” she called out from the kitchen.
He panicked. “No need, Aunt. I’ll come home for lunch.”
“Come home? Will you have time?”
“Yes.”
“Alright. I’ll be waiting.”
“Okay.”
He quickly finished his breakfast, not wanting to answer any more questions, but the pancakes were so delicious he ended up eating five before he could finally escape.
He stepped outside, intending to walk for a while to aid digestion, when he saw Pei Songji’s car at the intersection.
As he approached, the car door opened automatically, revealing Pei Songji sitting in the back.
“What are you doing here? Aren’t you afraid my aunt will see you?” he asked, getting into the car.
“I told the driver to park further away,” Pei Songji said, instructing the driver to leave.
“How are things going?”
“The food was amazing,” Jing Ciying said, still savoring the taste of the egg pancakes.
Pei Songji, puzzled, looked at him, seeing his blissful expression.
It seemed like they were getting along. He had worried for nothing.
Time passed quickly, and it was almost noon.
Jing Ciying called his aunt, wanting to gauge her mood, to see if it would be alright to invite Pei Songji for lunch.
But she didn’t answer.
She usually answered his calls. Was she busy?
He called again a few minutes later, but there was still no answer.
He started to worry. Had something happened?
Although it seemed unlikely, he couldn’t shake his anxiety. He hailed a taxi and rushed home.
The apartment was empty, but his aunt’s belongings were still there. Vegetables were neatly chopped on the kitchen counter, ready to be cooked, and the rice cooker was full of freshly cooked rice.
It looked like someone was home.
“Aunt?” he called out, checking his sister’s room, then his own.
He found her sitting on his bed.
He was relieved. “Aunt, why weren’t you answering my phone?”
She seemed to snap out of a daze, her eyes unfocused.
“Xiaoying?” she said, then slowly turned to face him.
He saw tears streaming down her face.
“What’s…” he started to ask, then he saw the thick stack of medical records in her hand.
He understood.
“Aunt…” he said softly, his voice filled with guilt, unable to approach her.
“Such a big thing…” she whispered, her voice hoarse, as if she hadn’t spoken in a while.
She wiped her tears. “And you hid it from me. You hid it so well.”
He knew her pain, her fear. He knew she would be angry. He didn’t try to defend himself, just looked down, accepting her anger.
“Your parents died so young. I raised you and your sister like my own children. And you… you hid this from me. Do you even consider me family?”
“I’m sorry, Aunt,” he finally said, unable to bear her pain any longer. “I didn’t want you to worry. So much has happened… I didn’t want to burden you.”
“So you carried this burden alone? Hospitalized, surgery… all by yourself? No wonder you looked so unwell before. I asked you if you were sick, but you lied, said you were just tired from work. Tell me honestly, were you already in the hospital then?”
The truth was evident; there was no need for an answer.
“And you kept refusing to come home, wouldn’t let me visit… it was all because of this, wasn’t it? It was so obvious, how could I have missed it?”
Tears streamed down her face again.
He approached her, his voice filled with remorse. “I’m sorry, Aunt. It’s all my fault. I shouldn’t have kept it from you. I’m so sorry. Yell at me, hit me, just… please don’t cry.”
He offered his arm, but she pushed it away, then pulled him into a hug.
“Why would I hit you?” she sobbed, her voice choked with emotion. “I’m not angry, I’m just… heartbroken. You must have suffered so much. It must have been so painful.”
“It wasn’t,” he said, trying to reassure her. “The anesthesia… I didn’t feel anything. I just slept through it.”
“You…” she hit his shoulder playfully. “You’re always so stubborn.”
Seeing her mood lightening slightly, he tried to distract her. “Aunt, I’m hungry.”
“Oh, right! You haven’t eaten yet. I’ll make you something. I’ve already prepared everything.”
She wiped her tears and went to the kitchen, the sound of the exhaust fan filling the silence.
He put away the medical records and followed her.
She quickly prepared a meal, urging him to eat.
He washed his hands and sat at the table, observing her.
She seemed calmer now, although her eyes were still red.
He felt a pang of guilt, avoiding the topic of his illness, not wanting to upset her further. He ate quickly, his head down.
“Eat more,” she said, piling food onto his plate.
“That’s enough, Aunt,” he protested.
But she ignored him. “You’re too thin. You need to eat more.”
“I’ve been eating a lot. I’ve gained weight.”
“Gained weight? Look at Ruoruo’s arms, then look at yours.”
“Aunt, don’t be mean to Ruoruo,” he teased.
“I’m only saying this to you. Kids are sensitive these days. I wouldn’t say it to her face.”
“She’s still growing,” he said.
“And so are you. Eat more.”
“Aunt,” he chuckled, “I’m almost thirty.”
“You’ll always be my child.” She placed another piece of meat on his plate.
He couldn’t refuse, so he continued eating.
She finally stopped when he was truly full, starting her own meal.
He stayed with her, chatting.
“Have some more,” she said, her eyes filled with concern.
“I can’t, Aunt. I’m stuffed. I ate twice as much as usual.”
Her brow furrowed. “Is that how your boyfriend treats you?”
He was taken aback by the sudden change of topic. “What do you mean?”
“He only lets you eat this much?”
He chuckled. “Aunt, this is a normal portion. Eating more than this would be unhealthy.”
“Don’t defend him. He’s rich; he should be more generous.”
He knew she wouldn’t believe him, so he didn’t argue, just asked curiously, “Why are you suddenly talking about him?”
She was silent for a moment, then said, “Was he the one taking care of you when you were ill?”
“How did you know? You’re amazing!” he said, pleased she wasn’t averse to mentioning Pei Songji.
But she didn’t respond, her silence heavy with unspoken questions.
“Are you with him because you’re… grateful?”
He hadn’t expected that question, but it wasn’t surprising. He had asked himself the same question.
He knew the answer.
“No,” he said, meeting her gaze.
“I’m with him because I love him. That’s all.”
“Love him?” She still couldn’t comprehend it, but her anger had subsided, replaced by a quiet curiosity.
He knew honesty was the best approach, even if it was painful. He continued, “He took care of me when I was ill, but that’s not why I’m with him. It’s because…”
“Because what?” she asked, putting down her chopsticks, her full attention on him.
He took a deep breath. “Because… when I received the diagnosis, I didn’t want to… live anymore.”
“What?!” she exclaimed, her voice rising in alarm. “How could you say that?! Of course you have to fight! I would have sold everything to help you…”
He didn’t respond, a sad smile twisting his lips.
Seeing his smile, she seemed to understand, her anger fading, her eyes filling with tears.
“He’s the one who… gave me a reason to live. I was standing on the edge of a cliff, ready to jump, and he pulled me back.”
“He took care of me after the surgery, but that’s not why I love him. It’s because… just before I went into surgery, I realized I wasn’t ready to die. There were still things I wanted to live for: you, Ruoruo, Uncle, Happy… and him.”
She was speechless, tears streaming down her face.
He wanted to comfort her, but she stood up and went to the bathroom, the sound of running water masking her sobs.
He didn’t follow her, knowing his presence would only make it worse.
He sat there, finishing his lunch, his heart aching for her, and for himself.
“So, it’s not gratitude,” he thought. “It’s love. He loves Pei Songji.”
He returned to the studio that afternoon.
His aunt needed time to process everything.
But she called him that afternoon.
“Hello, Aunt,” he answered quickly. “Is something wrong?”
“No, nothing’s wrong,” she said, her voice calmer now, although still slightly hoarse. “I just wanted to ask what you want for dinner.”
“I want dumplings.”
“Okay, I’ll make some.”
“Good.”
He had assumed that was all she wanted, but then she asked, “By the way, Xiaoying, what’s his name again?”
Although she hadn’t specified “his,” he knew who she was referring to.
“Pei Songji. Song as in pine tree, Ji as in clear sky after rain.”
“Oh, he’s your former boss, right?”
“Yes, Aunt. Why?”
“Just curious.”
Although she tried to sound casual, he sensed a shift in her tone, a softening, and he was relieved.
He seized the opportunity. “Aunt, he wants to have dinner with us before you leave. Is that okay?”
She fell silent.
Just as he was about to give up, she spoke.
“We’ll talk about it tomorrow.”
It wasn’t a rejection, so he didn’t push it. “Okay. We’ll talk about it tomorrow.”
“I have to go now. I need to buy some dumpling filling.”
“Okay. Do you know where to buy it?”
“Yes, don’t worry,” she said, hanging up.
He smiled, then called Pei Songji.
“Hello? Why are you calling?”
“Guess.”
“You sound happy.”
“I’m… okay,” he said, deliberately vague.
“Did your aunt agree to our relationship?” Pei Songji asked directly.
“Not yet, but she’s warming up to the idea. I mentioned dinner tomorrow, and she didn’t immediately refuse.”
“That’s a huge improvement,” Pei Songji said. “It seems I don’t have to cancel my restaurant reservation after all.”
“You already made a reservation?”
“Of course. First dinner with your family. I have to be prepared.”
“Don’t get ahead of yourself,” Jing Ciying teased.
“I think I’m allowed to be optimistic,” Pei Songji said.
Jing Ciying felt a sudden pang of sadness. “Even if she agrees, there’s still… everything else.”
“Don’t worry. This is all new to her. It’s understandable if she needs time to adjust.”
“You’re right. We’ll take it slow.”
“Yes.”
The conversation had lifted his spirits, and he returned to his work.
Meanwhile, Pei Songji was also about to start work when his phone rang.
“Mr. Pei,” his assistant’s voice said.
“What is it?”
“There’s a woman downstairs who wants to see you. She doesn’t have an appointment. The receptionist tried to turn her away, but she insisted that you would see her if you knew who she was, so…”
“Really? What’s her name?”
“She didn’t say. She just said… her surname is Jing.”
