Chapter 1: I am the Zombie Emperor! Understand?…
“Auntie Man, I’m off to rule the world!”
A cheerful, clear voice rang out from the courtyard. Before anyone could answer, the sound of a door slamming shut followed.
Lin Ling, wearing a backpack and a pair of white sneakers, hung the front door key around his neck, his eyes sparkling.
Outside the courtyard was a long, dim alley. The moment the young man emerged onto the street, thousands of zombies in the city ruins turned their heads at the sound—
It was like a lamb walking straight into a tiger’s den.
Seeing this, Lin Ling blinked his beautiful almond-shaped eyes, which then curved into crescents. He smiled, revealing not only his dimples but also two not-so-sharp little fangs.
“Hey, why are you all looking at me like that? I’m the boss!”
Hearing the young man’s voice, the horde of zombies froze for a second before scattering in all directions.
Not a single zombie paid any attention to this strange-sounding little zombie.
Watching the horde disperse, Lin Ling felt a little discouraged. He could only console himself with the thought that he was the Zombie Emperor and shouldn’t stoop to the level of unevolved, low-tier zombies.
“I’m going on a long trip today to check out the next street over. You all need to watch the house, understand?”
The little zombie stood on a large rock, unilaterally assigning tasks to the zombie horde.
There had been signs of human activity in this dead city recently, and he had to go investigate.
After a long search, Lin Ling finally found a cool-looking off-road vehicle he had never seen before in an alley four streets away.
“Whoa—”
As a zombie, Lin Ling hid on the roof of a low building not far away, peeking cautiously over the railing to observe from the shadows.
The vehicle was spotless, without a single scratch or speck of dirt, and it was completely silent.
Something wasn’t right.
Lin Ling thought for a moment and decided to get a closer look.
“Privacy glass?”
Lin Ling hesitated for a second before moving closer, pressing his entire face against the car window to peer inside.
But the moment he did, the car door suddenly swung open. Inside sat a handsome human in a white lab coat, staring right at him.
The little zombie jumped in fright. He was about to turn and run, but it was too late. His vision went black.
It’s over. I fell for it.
In the last second before he passed out, Lin Ling saw the handsome human smile at him and belatedly understood.
…It was a honey trap.
Humans were so cunning!
**
By the time he regained consciousness, the little zombie found himself inside a giant hamster cage.
The cage had two levels, was lined with thick blankets, and came complete with food, water, and a large running wheel.
“Awake?”
Faced with the unfamiliar environment, Lin Ling had planned to keep feigning unconsciousness, but a low, amused voice came from behind him.
It’s the human who kidnapped me!
Lin Ling scrambled to his feet, glaring at the man with wary eyes. He bared his sharp little fangs, trying to put on the most ferocious expression a Zombie Emperor could muster.
“Canine teeth, 0.8 centimeters. A bit short.”
Shi Changyuan merely glanced at him before jotting another note on the report in his hand.
“They’re not canines, they’re fa—”
Lin Ling tried to correct him in a fierce tone, but he stopped mid-sentence as realization dawned, and he quickly retracted his fangs in alarm.
A lab coat, a data sheet, and outside the cage, test tubes and unfamiliar instruments…
This is a human who dissects zombies!
The Zombie Emperor was instantly wide awake and clear-headed. He tried to put his human disguise back on and start with a civil conversation.
“Why did you capture me? QAQ”
Shi Changyuan watched as the little zombie in the cage seemed to deflate in an instant. The ferocity was gone, replaced by a drooping head, downcast eyes, and a whiny, drawn-out tone.
He’s quite good at acting cute.
The human tapped the report with the tip of his pen and gave him an answer. “You’re a stray.”
A stray?
The little zombie had always known that humans divided all creatures into strays and pets, treating them differently.
“Do strays have to be captured?”
Lin Ling was a little sad. If stray humans were also captured, wouldn’t that mean he had no chance of escape?
Seeing the little zombie’s sudden drop in spirits, Shi Changyuan picked up a book from the side and flipped through it. After a moment’s thought, he offered some clumsy comfort.
“Strays, no.”
“But you were the liveliest and cutest one in the zombie horde.”
Being called lively and cute under these circumstances made Lin Ling freeze. He stammered, “E-Even if you call me cute…”
“Wait.”
“You know I’m a zombie?!”
Lin Ling’s eyes went wide, and he scrambled back a large step.
“Of course.”
The human’s tone was utterly matter-of-fact, and his gaze on the little zombie held a strange sense of satisfaction.
Lin Ling didn’t understand what that meant; he only felt angry.
Is this human provoking the Zombie Emperor?!
“You knew I was a zombie, and you still dared to capture me?” Lin Ling clenched his fists, his tone fierce, as if he were mimicking a great villain from some movie, reciting a line full of bravado.
“Such audacity from a mere human!”
“Do you have any idea who I am?!”
Looking at the little zombie in the cage, Shi Changyuan was genuinely a little curious. He played along, asking, “Hm?”
“I am the Zombie Emperor!”
After Lin Ling’s thunderous declaration, he waited with sparkling eyes for the human’s reaction.
But the human didn’t react. In the ensuing silent standoff, the little zombie inexplicably felt a little flustered. Just as he was about to muster up his courage to say something more, he heard a soft chuckle from the man.
Shi Changyuan looked at the little zombie before him, his tone slow and deliberate as he confirmed, “…You’re the Zombie Emperor?”
Lin, the Zombie Emperor, Ling, not understanding, nodded emphatically and continued to bare his little fangs. “Scared now, aren’t you! If you’re scared, then hurry up and let me go.”
“I’m afraid I can’t do that, little zombie.” The smile vanished from Shi Changyuan’s eyes. He turned, set down his report, and began fiddling with the medicines and syringes on a tray.
Staring at the cold, sharp needles and scalpels, Lin Ling swallowed nervously, already imagining the tragic fate of being dissected for research.
Who-Whose fault is it that I’m the Zombie Emperor? I was born to endure more than others, sob.
Lin Ling stared fixedly at the human, planning to launch an attack the moment he opened the cage.
Just as Shi Changyuan approached with a syringe, and a fight was about to break out, the lab’s doorbell suddenly rang. The human paused, then put down his things and left the room.
“Phew.”
The little zombie let out a heavy sigh of relief and immediately tried to bend the cage bars to escape.
He could force the cage open with a bit of effort, but there was only one exit from the lab—a high-tech one. Punching a lock like that would only trigger an alarm.
The door was thick and soundproof, so the little zombie couldn’t eavesdrop or peek out. He turned and smashed an experiment table in two, sending everything on it crashing to the floor.
If I can’t escape, I can at least cause some destruction! There’s a price to pay for messing with the Zombie Emperor!
The lab was thoroughly wrecked. Every piece of metal that could be bent was bent, and not even a single sheet of paper was spared! Among the casualties was the data sheet the evil man in the white coat had been holding earlier.
Before tearing it up, Lin Ling glanced at it. As expected, it recorded all his data, from his height and weight to his bone age and the length of his fangs.
What was most infuriating was that they had compared his data to other zombies and marked him with the small words “moderately malnourished.”
Seeing that note, Lin Ling tore the paper with even greater ferocity.
I’m the Zombie Emperor! I just haven’t fully evolved yet! Not evolved! Understand?!
As Lin Ling tore, he noticed small print on the back of the data sheet. Something about “basics,” some kind of “check,” and some “precautions.” He hesitated for two seconds, then, driven by curiosity, began piecing the scraps of paper back together.
On the back of the data sheet, in black and white, were notes, some with checkmarks, seemingly copied from a book.
√ Preliminary preparations: Seal all windows, deep clean the entire house.
√ Basic supplies: Food, water, a separate space.
Health check-up (to be completed).
It was strange, and the precautions below were even stranger. As a zombie, Lin Ling couldn’t understand any of it.
He looked around and suddenly spotted the book the evil man in the white coat had been flipping through earlier. Its contents were remarkably similar to the notes on the back of the data sheet.
“Found you!” Lin Ling snatched up the book. “A book important enough to take notes from must be very valuable.”
The little zombie was about to rip the book in half when he heard a “beep.” The lab door opened, and the evil man in the white coat walked back in.
Their eyes met again, and Lin Ling froze on the spot.
Shi Changyuan glanced around the lab, a brow slightly raised. His gaze finally landed on the book in the little zombie’s hands, and he spoke in a completely unruffed tone.
“Could you help me look something up?”
“What’s the punishment for a pet that wrecks the house?”
Lin Ling understood every word and every phrase, but when put together, they made his brain go completely fuzzy.
What pet? What wrecking the house? What punishment?
He stood there stunned for a moment, then followed the evil man’s gaze and turned the book in his hands around. He carefully read the cover, where the title was printed in bold, eye-catching letters—
A Novice’s Guide to Pet Rearing
