Chapter 4
My Father
My Imperial Father, ordained by Heaven’s mandate.
With literary virtue and martial prowess, flourishing in brilliance.
A casual glance, elegant and graceful, his bearing ever youthful.
Loving and approachable, yet commanding respect.
…
Monday.
Morning self-study time at Underworld High School.
“Lü Bu, did you write your essay?”
“You’ll have plenty to write about, just killing your adoptive fathers could fill three thousand words!”
“Get lost!”
“Actually, I’m more curious to see Yang Guang’s essay.”
“Yeah, Guang, how’s your essay coming along?”
“Show it to us!”
Yang Guang was unusually subdued today, a stark change from his usual languid self. His Underworld High School uniform was neatly worn, buttons meticulously fastened, zipper pulled all the way up. He wasn’t slouching, nor were his legs crossed. Upon entering the Class Nine classroom, he sat down properly.
—Sitting like a well-behaved student.
Several students gathered around, teasing Yang Guang. He gritted his teeth, maintaining a smile, and squeezed out a single word through clenched teeth.
“…Scram.”
“Huh? Yang Guang, what did you say?”
“We didn’t hear you, speak up!”
“Louder—”
Yang Guang glared. “I told you to… scram!”
Tap, tap, tap…
Elegant and composed footsteps approached. The specially invited transfer student, Yang Jian, entered the classroom, his gaze sweeping over the room and landing on Yang Guang.
With a fatherly smile, Yang Jian said gently, “Guang’er, why are you in such a hurry? You didn’t even wait for your father to come to class with you.”
Classmates whispered amongst themselves, “I knew there was a reason Yang Guang arrived so early today.”
“I’ve never seen him so enthusiastic about morning self-study!”
“And his uniform, has anyone ever seen Yang Guang wear his uniform?”
“He’s not even crossing his legs.”
“So well-behaved!”
Yang Guang: “…”
“Class, settle down.” Xue Changyi entered the classroom, and with a flick of his wrist, the black umbrella disappeared, transforming into a pen placed on the podium. “Morning self-study has begun. Return to your seats.”
“Teacher Xue!”
“Is it time to hand in our essays today?”
“Teacher, make Yang Guang read his essay! We all want to hear it!”
Yang Guang gritted his teeth, glaring at his classmates. “Shut up, all of you, or I’ll rip your mouths apart!”
Yang Jian frowned. “Guang’er, such vulgar language.”
Yang Guang instinctively straightened up. “…Father, you are right.”
Xue Changyi opened his briefcase and pulled out a stack of essay papers.
“I have indeed received your essays. The quality of the writing is… inconsistent.”
Xue Changyi’s gaze fell on Lü Bu. “Lü Bu, why did you put eight hundred ellipses on your essay paper? Are you ovulating? Rewrite it.”
“Hahahaha—” The classroom erupted in laughter.
Lü Bu: “………………………………”
Xue Changyi picked up another essay. “Li Bai.”
In order to hear Yang Guang’s essay today, Li Bai had refrained from getting drunk, replacing the Erguotou in his Nongfu Spring bottle with low-alcohol fruit wine.
“Teacher Xue, is my writing, as the Poet Immortal, not magnificent?”
Xue Changyi said indifferently, “The writing is indeed magnificent, but your handwriting is illegible, going all over the lines, and you wrote the entire essay backwards. This wouldn’t earn you any points on an exam—rewrite it.”
Li Bai: “…”
“Xiang Yu.” Xue Changyi rubbed his temples. “The essay topic is ‘My Father,’ not ‘My Deskmate.’ Your entire essay discusses the necessity of transferring your deskmate, Liu Bang, to another class. Off-topic, no points—rewrite it.”
Xiang Yu: “Teacher! Why don’t you consider transferring Liu Bang! Or transfer me! I’ll go to a regular class!”
Liu Bang laughed. “The students in regular classes all passed their exams. You failed every subject, how can you go to a regular class?”
Xiang Yu: “…!!!”
“Liu Bang.” Xue Changyi called the next name.
The entire class was waiting for the teacher to utter those classic two words—rewrite it.
A smile graced Xue Changyi’s face, like ice melting in spring, refreshing and heartwarming. When he smiled, the students of Class Nine suddenly realized how much of a waste it was when Teacher Xue didn’t smile. Such a handsome face should be captivating everyone, not teaching remedial classes!
Xue Changyi unfolded the essay. “Liu Bang’s essay is concise and touching. Every word is filled with longing for his father. The theme is also elevated. Maintain this level of writing, and you’ll definitely get a high score on the Chinese make-up exam.”
Clang!
Xiang Yu stood up, shouting, “I don’t believe it!”
Xue Changyi said, “Liu Bang’s essay can serve as a model. Please pass it around and learn from it.”
Xiang Yu immediately snatched the essay, unfolding it roughly, his sharp, hawk-like eyes scanning the text.
Liu Bang came from a farming family. His father, Liu Taigong, lived in Fengyi. In Liu Bang’s writing, his father was an ordinary, kind, and loving farmer.
After the Chu-Han Contention began, the Chu army captured Liu Taigong. Xiang Yu used Liu Taigong’s life as leverage, placing him on a large chopping block and sending a message to Liu Bang: If he refused to surrender, his father would be boiled alive!
Liu Bang replied: “I and Yu have sworn to be brothers. My father is your father. If you insist on cooking your father, please share a bowl of the broth with me!”
The essay paper rustled in Xiang Yu’s trembling hands. He was shaking like he had touched a live wire.
“You—you you you, you…” Xiang Yu sputtered. “Why did you mention me in your essay!”
Liu Bang smiled. “Ah Yu, didn’t you also mention me in your essay?”
Xiang Yu: “…Get lost!”
“Quiet.” Xue Changyi picked up the Divine Striking Whip and tapped it lightly on the podium.
Clang!!!
The Divine Striking Whip emitted a sound unlike that of wood, a sharp, piercing resonance that instantly silenced the classroom.
Xue Changyi said calmly, “The essay topic I gave you was ‘My Father.’ Most of you only wrote about your fathers, neglecting the ‘My.’ Liu Bang’s essay not only portrays his father’s love but also subtly highlights his own wisdom and composure. It’s worth learning from.”
Xiang Yu grumbled. “Hmph…” Hypocrite!
Xue Changyi commented on each essay, leaving only the last one—Yang Guang’s.
“Yang Guang.” Xue Changyi smiled again.
That same captivating smile, a gentle voice that somehow didn’t sound gentle at all.
Yang Guang: “…”
Yang Guang forced himself to correct the teacher. “Teacher Xue, my name is Yang Guang, not Guang Yang.”
“Oh,” Xue Changyi nodded. “Is that so?”
Yang Guang: “…???”
Xue Changyi continued, “I believe everyone is most anticipating Yang Guang’s essay. So, let’s have Yang Guang come up and read it himself—’My Father’.”
Yang Guang: “…!!!”
Yang Guang sat rooted to his chair, shaking his head and forcing a laugh. “Teacher Xue, I know my writing is excellent, with flowery language, flowing sentences, a grand theme, moving and inspiring. Surely I don’t need to read it aloud.”
Xue Changyi nodded. Yang Guang breathed a sigh of relief, thinking the new substitute teacher had let him off the hook.
“Since Yang Guang doesn’t want to read it,” Xue Changyi said casually, “Yang Jian, would you please read his essay for him?”
Yang Guang: “……………”
My father, reading My Father?
Yang Jian, gentle and composed, stood up from his seat. “Certainly, Teacher Xue.”
Whoosh—
Yang Guang sprang into action, using his agility to snatch the essay before Yang Jian could touch it.
“Fa-Father…” Yang Guang smiled sweetly, his smile oddly strained. “It’s… it’s better if I read it. I suddenly really want to! Very much!”
Xue Changyi raised an eyebrow. “Then let Yang Guang read it himself.”
Yielding the podium, Xue Changyi smiled for the third time today. “Class, let’s give Yang Guang a round of applause.”
Clap, clap, clap!!
“Hahahaha! Guang! Read it!”
“Louder!”
“Go on—the model essay!”
“Your dad is listening!”
Yang Guang: “…The greatest pain in my life isn’t the fall of my kingdom, but this public humiliation…”
Yang Guang took a deep breath and cleared his throat.
“I…”
“My Father…”
“My Im-Imperial Father, ordained by Heaven’s mandate. Ahem… With literary virtue and martial prowess, flourishing in brilliance. A casual glance, elegant and graceful, his bearing ever youthful. Loving and approachable, yet commanding respect. Expanding territories, establishing dynasties, leading officials, riding in grand chariots, his presence illuminating the court, like the sun, like…”
Xue Changyi interrupted coldly: “That’s enough.”
Yang Guang: “…Like the heavens.”
Xue Changyi nodded, repeating, “That’s enough.”
Yang Guang pointed at the essay. “Teacher, I haven’t finished reading.”
Xue Changyi raised an eyebrow. “Yang Guang, I asked you to write ‘My Father,’ not a National Day congratulatory speech—rewrite it.”
Yang Guang: “…”
“Yang Jian,” Xue Changyi said, “Yang Guang’s essay is unacceptable. Please help him after class, perhaps by recalling some heartwarming memories of filial piety and fatherly love. It might help him improve his writing.”
Yang Jian smiled. “Certainly, Teacher Xue. My incompetent Guang’er has caused you trouble.”
“No trouble at all,” Xue Changyi said gracefully. “It’s my duty.”
Yang Guang: “…”
While retrieving his essay, Yang Guang whispered, “Teacher Xue, why are you always picking on me?”
“I know,” Yang Guang suddenly realized, “Are you from the Sui Dynasty? Did I confiscate your family’s property? Behead you? Force you to build the canal?”
Xue Changyi shook his head. “None of the above.”
Yang Guang gritted his teeth. “Then why, out of all the students in Class Nine, are you targeting me? Don’t tell me it’s because I’m handsome!”
Xue Changyi looked Yang Guang up and down. “You are indeed handsome.”
Yang Guang didn’t expect him to admit it so readily, without hesitation.
Xue Changyi continued, “But not enough to capture my attention.”
Yang Guang: “…”
Xue Changyi added, “Yang Guang, have you heard of asserting dominance? A new official lights three fires. My first fire naturally has to burn the troublemaker. You excel in both literary and martial arts, especially in manipulating public opinion. If I let you run wild in class, how am I supposed to teach?”
Yang Guang lowered his voice. “What do you want?”
Xue Changyi said earnestly, “I just want you to be a good student who focuses in class, listens attentively, submits homework on time, passes the make-up exams, and sets a good example for Class Nine… Can you do that?”
Yang Guang sneered. “A good student? Do you think I’m a three-year-old child?”
“Yang Jian,” Xue Changyi raised his voice, “Come to my office after class.”
“Wait!” Yang Guang interrupted. “Let’s talk this over.”
Xue Changyi asked again, “Can you do that?”
Yang Guang mumbled, “…I can… uh…”
Xue Changyi said softly, “Yang Guang, you have such a shy side? Your voice is too soft, I can’t hear you. Say it again, louder.”
Yang Guang: “…”
Yang Guang took a deep breath, gritting his teeth. “I can do it!”
Xue Changyi reached out and patted Yang Guang’s head.
Yang Guang was tall and imposing, much taller than Xue Changyi. Xue Changyi had to look up to pat his head, but his demeanor didn’t diminish in the slightest. He smiled and said, “Good boy.”
