Chapter 16
“Jian Xiaowu, do you want–”
Suddenly awakened from his sleep, still half-conscious, and faced with a rather terrifying sight, Song Shuci’s heart raced. He instinctively started cursing out of habit, only to abruptly swallow his words halfway.
Jian Wu could guess what the unspoken word was. He silently looked away and warned in a small voice: “Hey… you’re supposed to be the abstinent ice prince in their eyes, watch your language and don’t ruin your image.”
His wrists were pinned down by Song Shuci, his phone had fallen onto his chest during the commotion, but the flashlight still diligently shone upwards from his chest, adding to the horror movie vibe.
Song Shuci had a headache looking at him like this. He covered Jian Wu’s head with the quilt to avoid seeing him and pressed down on his wrists through the quilt to prevent him from moving.
Jian Wu wriggled for a while, struggling, finally managing to pull the quilt down a little, revealing his eyes, shining in the darkness: “You lied to me.”
“What did I lie to you about?” The man’s voice was still hoarse from sleep, low and deep, yet soft in the darkness. It was clearly a tone of complaint, but it seemed to carry a hazy gentleness.
“You’re treating me like a fool! The pill bottle wasn’t filled with pills, and you weren’t planning to take any just now.” Jian Wu listed his crimes. “And, there’s no such sentence in the papers.”
“You know,” he said emphatically, word by word, “I. read. for. two. hours.”
“You really are something…” After hearing his accusations, the man’s voice was amused and helpless, with a hint of endearment. “It’s a shame you didn’t join me in research with such a strong thirst for knowledge.”
“It’s fine,” Jian Wu said, “Even if I had another chance, I wouldn’t want to do it.”
“Hey,” Song Shuci said, “You could finish reading such boring papers, why didn’t you read my publications?”
Although Jian Wu hadn’t actually read Song Shuci’s papers, Song Shuci’s certain tone made him suspicious: “How do you know I didn’t read them?”
“I just know,” Song Shuci’s eyes were subtle, “Did you actually read them?”
Jian Wu felt uncomfortable under his gaze and turned his head away, denying:
“Not interested.”
He gestured with his eyes at his wrists, which were pinned down by Song Shuci: “Let go.”
Song Shuci leaned down, almost pressing against Jian Wu’s chest.
“If I let go,” he said half-threateningly, “Will you scare me again later?”
Jian Wu didn’t hesitate: “Yes.”
Song Shuci lowered his eyes and chuckled, then looked at Jian Wu: “I didn’t sleep a wink last night. If I don’t sleep tonight, I’ll really turn into a ghost tomorrow.”
Jian Wu’s eyes darted around: “Why didn’t you sleep last night?”
“Didn’t you also take a nap on the bus today?” Song Shuci retorted.
“I’m used to taking afternoon naps,” Jian Wu argued.
Besides, he had only woken up intermittently last night, it wasn’t like he hadn’t slept at all.
“Then I was because…” Song Shuci paused, looking at Jian Wu meaningfully.
Sensing his deliberate gaze, Jian Wu felt inexplicably nervous. He unconsciously swallowed, lowered his eyelashes, and avoided Song Shuci’s eyes: “Because of what?”
“Stress and a lot on my mind, choose one.”
Jian Wu rolled his eyes at him: “You’re sick.”
Song Shuci just smiled.
Jian Wu pursed his lips after cursing, and Song Shuci didn’t speak either. They remained in this uncomfortable position, locked in an awkward stalemate like a standoff.
After a while, Jian Wu, trying to find something to say, changed the subject: “Speaking of which, aren’t you researching oncology? Why are you reading papers about erectile dysfunction? Don’t tell me… you have ED at such a young age?”
Song Shuci: “…”
Seeing Song Shuci’s silence, Jian Wu hesitated: “Really?”
“What are you thinking?” Song Shuci was exasperated. He freed one hand and ruffled Jian Wu’s hair, explaining, “A professor specializing in ED wants to collaborate with me, so I’m just doing some background research.”
Jian Wu’s left hand was finally free, and he immediately went to rescue his right hand, which was pinned under the quilt by Song Shuci.
As he tried to pry Song Shuci’s fingers off his wrist through the quilt, he casually said “oh” and said solemnly: “It’s fine, I heard thirty is a hurdle, I understand.”
Song Shuci: “?”
“You don’t believe me?” he asked.
“I believe you.”
Feeling Song Shuci’s grip loosen slightly due to the distraction, Jian Wu felt his left hand’s freedom was within reach.
“If you want me to believe you,” he continued to pry at Song Shuci’s fingers, “Then I’ll reluctantly believe you.”
Men hated being questioned about their abilities by those they cared about. Even though Song Shuci knew Jian Wu was provoking him, he still took the bait without hesitation. He noticed Jian Wu’s small movements and grabbed his left hand, which had finally escaped, through the quilt, pinning it down beside his ear again.
“Say that again?”
Feeling Song Shuci’s knee press against his thigh, Jian Wu curled his fingers and silently closed his mouth.
He shifted his hips, trying to dodge, but Song Shuci pressed even closer.
“You think I have ED, huh?” The man snorted, a hint of threat in his voice.
“Jian Xiaowu,” Song Shuci’s nose touched his, his hot breath falling on his face, scorchingly hot, “Why don’t you try it?”
Realizing he might have gone too far, Jian Wu turned his head away and muttered: “I take it back.”
Song Shuci turned his face back: “Two minutes have passed, you can’t take it back.”
His anger hadn’t subsided yet, and he continued to rehash old arguments: “By the way, didn’t you say on the bus that I was terrible in that aspect and you didn’t enjoy it at all? Let’s try again and see if I’ve improved.”
Jian Wu’s Adam’s apple bobbed as he looked at him in the darkness.
Song Shuci seemed angry, but it didn’t seem like he was only angry.
He didn’t know how long they stared at each other before Song Shuci suddenly released his wrists. Under Jian Wu’s gaze, he took the hand sanitizer from the nightstand and rubbed his hands, then looked down to unbuckle his watch.
Jian Wu suddenly realized something and stopped him.
Song Shuci, halfway through unbuckling his watch strap, saw the hand covering it, chuckled softly, and looked at Jian Wu: “What?”
Jian Wu’s hands were free, but Song Shuci’s elbow was still pressed against his side, a form of restraint.
The smell of alcohol filled the air, faintly mixed with the scent of leather from the watch strap.
Jian Wu lightly bit his lip.
Taking off his watch also seemed to be an unspoken agreement between them.
It started when they were fooling around once, and Jian Wu was poked by the watch and cried out in pain. So from then on, Song Shuci always remembered to take off his watch beforehand.
After so many times, Jian Wu knew what Song Shuci wanted whenever he saw him take off his watch.
He might still be joking or teasing verbally, but taking off his watch meant he was serious.
Jian Wu felt they were both a little crazy.
Although the last time they met, they were still in a relationship where they could just jump into bed.
He let go, stiffened his body, and slowly moved down, burying his head back in the quilt: “Don’t you think we’re being a little ambiguous?”
Song Shuci’s voice was low and hoarse: “You were the one who started the ambiguity.”
“How about… I remind you.”
Jian Wu’s voice came from under the quilt, muffled by the soft bedding: “We’re exes now.”
As soon as he said this, the movement above him stopped, as if a pause button had been pressed mid-movie, abrupt and sudden, leaving only the audience and darkness.
Jian Wu looked up, wanting to see, but his head was buried in the quilt, and he couldn’t see anything.
Inexplicably, his heart was racing.
Even faster than when Song Shuci’s knee was pressing against his thigh.
After a while, Jian Wu felt the pressure on him disappear. Song Shuci had gotten up at some point, and his knee was no longer against his leg.
A strange thought suddenly popped into Jian Wu’s head—
So “exes” was, in a sense, a safe word.
He pulled the quilt off his face and looked at the man beside him.
Song Shuci sat on the bed, leaning against the headboard. He had turned on the bedside lamp and was drinking water, one gulp after another. His neck and ears were slightly flushed, perhaps from the heat, or perhaps an illusion created by the light.
Sensing his gaze, Song Shuci called his name: “Jian Wu.”
Without any lust.
He said: “If you’re not sleepy, let’s talk.”
Jian Wu looked at him, silent for half a minute.
Then he turned his head, closed his eyes, and let out a fake, exaggerated snore, clearly indicating he didn’t want to communicate.
Song Shuci chuckled, exasperated. After a moment, he continued, despite the fake snoring: “Fine, if you don’t want to talk about anything else, I still want to explain the profile picture and earring incident.”
“That day at the group meeting,” Song Shuci recalled the difficult past in the quiet night, “I had another argument with Lu Lizhu. He was the one who went crazy and insisted I take off the earrings and change my profile picture, or he would withhold my salary.”
When Song Shuci was pursuing his PhD, his income consisted of three parts: national subsidy, school subsidy, and advisor subsidy. The rent in City A was too expensive, and he couldn’t afford to lose any of it.
Lu Lizhu was Song Shuci’s doctoral advisor. After Song Shuci moved out of the dormitory to live with Jian Wu, due to the commute in City A, he spent about two hours less in the lab every day.
Lu Lizhu was very displeased with this.
Since academia was the only legally recognized “slave society” in the country, he believed his slave wasn’t working for him wholeheartedly, so he would often find trouble for Song Shuci to assert his dominance as a slave owner.
“I actually wanted to tell you, but we were always arguing at that time. You were so sensitive, like Zhu Bajie always wanting to break up the group as soon as Tang Sanzang was captured. I didn’t want you to know he had a problem with me moving out, I didn’t want you to feel pressured.”
Song Shuci’s tone became self-deprecating, “If I had known you cared so much, I wouldn’t have–” He then changed his words, “If I had known he would still upset you… I wouldn’t have hidden it.”
“I wasn’t angry at him, really,” Jian Wu suddenly stopped his fake snoring.
He opened his eyes and looked at Song Shuci, “What he said was indeed excessive, but he’s just an outsider.”
Song Shuci paused, seemingly surprised that Jian Wu was finally not avoiding the topic and willing to express his opinion.
But he didn’t get to hear Jian Wu’s insightful views. He only saw Jian Xiaowu turn his back to him, wrapped in the quilt, and his resentful retort:
“And, you’re the pig.”
