We Can’t Go Back 49

Chapter 49

Jian Wu and Song Shuci weren’t about to fight, they were about to make a bet.

This was how they played games when they were young. The winner could make the loser do something for them, including but not limited to buying snacks, helping with homework, calling the winner “boss,” or being their “son” for a day.

After a few rounds of intense competition, Jian Wu, in his loose-fitting pants, won with the advantage of his attire, and leisurely walked away from the battlefield, holding his jacket and the braised food. Song Shuci followed behind him, fixing his tie and putting on his suit jacket, but there was no sign of frustration on his face. “What do you want me to do?”

“I haven’t thought about it yet,” Jian Wu walked ahead with his head held high, “I’ll come find you when I do.”

Song Shuci looked at him and said: “Not nervous anymore?”

Jian Wu paused, and Song Shuci continued: “It’s okay, you don’t have to pretend in front of me.”

Jian Wu: “…”

“So you played hopscotch with me to help me de-stress?” he asked.

Song Shuci hummed in agreement, “I think if it weren’t stressful for you, you wouldn’t have avoided seeing my parents after returning to City B… You don’t have to come if you don’t want to.”

“You know what Aunt Xu is like,” Jian Wu said, “I can’t refuse.”

“That’s you,” Song Shuci said as they climbed the stairs, as if complaining, “So stubborn, yet so soft-hearted, believing everything anyone says.”

“That’s because it’s your mother—”

Jian Wu turned around to retort, just as Xu Xiu’s voice came from the landing above.

The enthusiastic Mrs. Xu hadn’t even closed the door, leaving it slightly ajar, waiting for them. As soon as she heard noises at the door, she came out to greet them.

“Xiao Wu! You’re finally here! Auntie missed you so much!”

Jian Wu quickly composed himself, jogged up the stairs, and, seeing the increasing gray hairs on the two elders, felt a pang of emotion, forgetting his awkwardness: “Auntie Xu! Uncle Song! Long time no see!”

He handed them the braised food from Auntie Wang and the fruits, milk, and other groceries he had bought downstairs. Song Guochuan took the things beside Xu Xiu, his smile also kind and loving: “Xiao Wu, you seem to have lost weight, haven’t you?”

“I don’t think he’s lost weight,” Jian Yu said from the side, smiling gently.

“You see him all the time, unlike us, it’s been four years,” Xu Xiu said to Jian Yu, then playfully chided Jian Wu, “And you too, you only visit your mom after coming back, refusing to see us. What, are you ignoring us because we’re not your parents?”

“I was wrong, Auntie Xu,” Jian Wu said coquettishly.

“Aiya, don’t say that, hasn’t Xiao Wu been buying us gifts online every year?” Song Guochuan chimed in, cooperating with his wife.

“Alright, come in,” Jian Yu said, “Aunt Xu and Uncle Song made a lot of delicious food for you.”

She then nodded at Song Shuci, who was behind Jian Wu.

“Auntie Jian,” Song Shuci greeted her.

Jian Yu, unusually, responded with a gentle smile: “Hey.”

Five people at the table, but they had prepared over ten dishes, all meat and fish, full of parental love.

Jian Wu looked at the familiar square table, feeling a little dazed.

Although this was Song Shuci’s home, he had eaten at this table no less often than at his own. Such scenes of the two families gathered together were countless.

Looking at the full table of dishes and the familiar faces, Jian Wu suddenly felt like he was back in his childhood.

“What are you still standing there for, sit down,” Xu Xiu, seeing Song Shuci sit down, pulled Jian Wu to the empty seat between her and Song Shuci, and said, just like countless times in their childhood, “Sit next to your brother, he can get you the dishes you can’t reach.”

“No need, Auntie Xu,” Jian Wu tried to stand up, “My arms are long enough now.”

But Xu Xiu pushed him back down, “Just sit here, Auntie wants you to sit next to me.”

Jian Wu’s lips moved under Xu Xiu’s insistent gaze, and he finally squeezed out an “okay.”

The dinner started lively, but the liveliness didn’t last long. The subtle atmosphere, created by the complex relationship between him and Song Shuci and the elders’ roundabout intentions, gradually surfaced.

“What are you thinking about, Xiao Wu?” Xu Xiu put some food on his plate, “Is Auntie’s cooking not good?”

“It’s delicious, it’s delicious,” Jian Wu tried his best to appear cheerful and carefree.

Xu Xiu smiled, glanced at Song Shuci, and then casually asked: “Xiao Wu, are you… seeing anyone now?”

Her abrupt change of topic was like a sharp turn on a racetrack. Jian Wu almost choked on his food.

This was the downside of growing up together.

Even after breaking up, you couldn’t completely cut off contact with the other person’s family. Not contacting them seemed rude, but when they were together, a few casual words from the elders could make things awkward.

Song Shuci was right, he shouldn’t have agreed to this dinner.

He covered his mouth and coughed a few times. Song Shuci instinctively patted his back and handed him two tissues.

“Thanks,” Jian Wu took the tissues and wiped his hands.

Jian Yu, who had been silent, took a sip of tea and said softly to Jian Wu: “How can you be so impolite? You should call him Gege.”

Jian Wu: “…” He held the tissue and, under the seemingly kind gazes of both sets of parents, forced himself to say: “Thank you, Gege.”

Song Shuci played along: “You’re welcome.”

Jian Yu continued the conversation, looking at Xu Xiu and asking Song Shuci: “What about Xiao Song? There should be many outstanding young people abroad, right?”

Jian Wu’s grip on his chopsticks tightened, then he heard Song Shuci say: “No.”

No now, but what about before?

The thought flashed through Jian Wu’s mind, but Jian Yu didn’t ask the question he was hoping for.

By now, he could see that Xu Xiu was trying to set them up.

When they were together, the adults wanted them to break up, and now that they were broken up, they wanted them to get back together. Jian Wu wasn’t blaming the elders, after all, it was already difficult for them to accept a different sexual orientation, but thinking about this, he couldn’t help but find it amusing.

After all, he couldn’t forget that New Year’s Eve when he was in his second year of high school and Song Shuci in his third.

After the New Year’s Eve party, Song Shuci moved back in with him. One night, they were chatting, and Jian Wu said: “What about our families if we get together?”

Song Shuci didn’t say anything at the time, and Jian Wu didn’t think much about it. Unexpectedly, not long after, at the New Year’s Eve dinner, after everyone finished eating, Song Shuci first wished everyone a happy new year, then said to the three adults: “I have something to tell you, I’m gay.”

He stunned the three elders for a full five minutes.

By the time Xu Xiu reacted and yelled for Song Guochuan to get a stick and beat him, Song Shuci had already run away. If it weren’t for Jian Yu stopping her, Xu Xiu would have flipped the table.

If someone had told Jian Wu then that one day, at this same table that was almost smashed, Xu Xiu would try to set him up with Song Shuci, Jian Wu would have thought that person was crazy.

But time was a magical thing. As long as you lived long enough, anything was possible.

At the dinner table, the three elders chatted about trivial matters, then the conversation shifted to Jian Yu’s marriage plans.

Jian Yu said she didn’t have any specific plans, just wanted to pick a good day to get the marriage certificate and treat everyone to dinner. Jian Wu, listening from the side, suddenly suggested: “Mom, do you want a wedding ceremony?”

His words brought silence to the table. Jian Yu wiped her lips with a tissue and shook her head: “We’re too old for that, forget it.”

But Xu Xiu immediately took her hand and said: “Let’s have one.”

The two women looked at each other, their expressions complex.

Jian Wu hadn’t suggested it on a whim.

Before his father passed away, he had told him his biggest regret was promising his mother a wedding ceremony when they were better off, a promise he never fulfilled.

Jian Wu’s parents met and fell in love at Song Shuci’s parents’ wedding. They were the best man and bridesmaid, and they fell for each other during the ceremony.

His mother, Jian Yu, was an only child from a well-off family. She was fashionable and always wanted a Western-style wedding like her friends, to wear a wedding dress. But because her family insisted that her husband had to marry into her family, it caused a lot of conflict between the two families. After Jian Wu’s father agreed to marry into her family, his parents felt it was shameful and repeatedly threatened to disrupt the wedding if they had one. As a result, the wedding was postponed indefinitely, and until Jian Wu’s father passed away from stomach cancer, they never had their wedding ceremony.

Xu Xiu understood Jian Yu’s feelings best, which was why she was the first to support Jian Wu’s suggestion, encouraging Jian Yu to have a wedding.

“Mom, don’t think too much about it, just have one if you want,” Jian Wu said, “And you don’t have to worry about the arrangements, my summer vacation is coming soon, I’ll help.”

Song Shuci glanced at him and also said: “I can help too.”

“That’s perfect,” Xu Xiu said decisively, “Then you two will be in charge of the arrangements, Jian Yu will just have to attend.”

Xu Xiu’s words gave Jian Yu a perfect excuse — the wedding was to create opportunities for them to interact and rekindle their relationship. This also eased Jian Yu’s concerns.

Jian Wu originally wanted to say he could handle it himself, no need to involve Song Shuci, but hearing Jian Yu sigh and say “Alright,” he swallowed his words.

He couldn’t fulfill his mother’s wish of having grandchildren, but he hoped she could at least fulfill her youthful dream.

After settling this matter, Xu Xiu joked in her familiar tone: “Then why don’t you two also wash the dishes?”

This, of course, couldn’t be refused.

The elders left the dining table and went to the mahjong table. Jian Wu and Song Shuci carried the dishes into the kitchen.

“Want some?” Song Shuci held a peeled shrimp to Jian Wu’s lips, startling him. Jian Wu had been listening intently to the sounds from the mahjong table.

“Where did the shrimp come from?” He didn’t take the shrimp with his mouth, but reached for Song Shuci’s chopsticks.

Song Shuci, seeing this, gave him the plate and chopsticks.

The plate was filled with peeled shrimp. Song Shuci said: “I came back this afternoon and saw my mom bought them. Both of them are allergic, and your mom doesn’t eat them either, only you like shrimp. I figured she would ask me to peel them for you at the dinner table, and you… would feel awkward, so I hid them in my bedroom. Didn’t you notice my mom went to the kitchen several times looking for something?”

Jian Wu: “…”

Only Song Shuci would do this kind of thing.

“Eat,” Song Shuci said, “I just steamed them, they’re still hot.”

Jian Wu took a shrimp and ate it, then asked: “Didn’t you have something to do at school this afternoon? You even had time to come back?”

“Yes, I did have something to do,” Song Shuci said without changing his expression, “Isn’t picking you up considered something to do?”

Jian Wu pursed his lips, suddenly put down the shrimp, and turned around to wash the dishes.

“Mm, we should wash them quickly,” Song Shuci rolled up his sleeves, stood beside him, picked up a dirty dish, and whispered, “After we’re done, let’s go to the opposite apartment, away from them.”

The opposite apartment referred to Jian Yu’s. Their apartments were facing each other, on the same floor.

Song Shuci’s whispering reminded him of the time they secretly dated behind their families’ backs. Jian Wu chewed on the tender, flavorful shrimp, a strange feeling in his heart. For some reason, he remembered the words “I think we should.”

“Song Shuci,” he looked down at the running water, “You…”

Song Shuci reached behind him to get the dish brush hanging above, his arm brushing against the back of Jian Wu’s neck. The familiar scent of laundry detergent filled his nostrils, making him forget what he was about to say.

Song Shuci: “Hm?”

Jian Wu paused and changed his words: “You’re not annoying today.”

Song Shuci handed him a washed dish to rinse, a faint smile on his face: “After all, you called me Gege.”

Jian Wu took the dish without looking at him: “My mom made me.”

“Speaking of your mom, have you noticed Auntie Jian’s attitude towards me has changed a lot?” Song Shuci said, “She doesn’t seem as annoyed with me as before.”

“My mom was never annoyed with you,” Jian Wu said.

“Yes, she wasn’t annoyed with me, she was annoyed with us being together,” Song Shuci said self-awarely, “She still thinks I led you astray.”

After all, Jian Yu first witnessed Song Shuci’s coming out at the New Year’s Eve dinner, then, two years later, caught her own son kissing someone in the park.

“Actually, she’s not wrong. Sometimes I also feel sorry for you. If it weren’t for me relentlessly pursuing you back then, maybe you… would have liked girls and lived a normal life.”

“There’s nothing to be sorry about,” Jian Wu said.

Song Shuci chuckled faintly, hiding his emotions, and asked: “So her attitude towards me has improved because we broke up?”

No. Jian Wu thought, it’s because, like your mom, she wants to set us up.

But he still didn’t say it, just said: “People’s thoughts change.”

In the mahjong room, a standard feature in City B homes, Jian Yu, the person being discussed, was holding a hand of playing cards.

The three elders sat neatly, playing Dou Dizhu since they couldn’t play mahjong with only three people.

Usually, the room would be filled with laughter and chatter, but today, it was unusually quiet, their attention focused on the kitchen. Unfortunately, the kitchen door was soundproof, they could only occasionally hear faint voices but couldn’t make out what was being said.

After a while, even the voices stopped. Xu Xiu threw down her cards and couldn’t help but gossip: “Why did they stop talking?”

“Mom, he went over there,” Song Shuci’s voice suddenly came from behind.

“Aiyo, you scared me!” Xu Xiu said, “Went where?”

Song Shuci glanced at Jian Yu. “Auntie Jian’s place,” he said, “We’re going to hang out there for a bit.”

Xu Xiu and Song Guochuan looked at Jian Yu. Jian Yu looked up from her cards and said to Song Shuci: “Do you have the key?”

“No, that’s why I came to ask you for it.”

Jian Yu took out a key from her bag and handed it to him: “Then you two go ahead.”

Xu Xiu, seeing her readily give him the key, was surprised: “You’ve changed your mind?”

Besides her initial strong opposition, Jian Yu had always been indifferent to their relationship, neither encouraging nor supporting it. This was quite unusual.

Jian Yu leaned back and, under the stunned gazes of her friends, said: “Let them be.”