Chapter 63
“Is it true?”
Only the two of them remained in the private room. Chi Yu’s voice trembled uncontrollably.
He had considered the possibility of insincerity in the bar scene. He had accepted that their relationship might be short-lived. But it never occurred to him that Murong Jing’s approach from the very beginning had been driven by ulterior motives.
He felt as if he had fallen into a nightmare, drowning in the deep sea. Seawater continuously poured into his mouth and nose, suffocating him. He wanted to cry for help, but no sound escaped his lips.
During the half-minute of silence in the private room, he desperately hoped Murong Jing would deny it. But he didn’t.
“Yes.” The man’s voice was icy, but the next second, he raised his head, a languid smile playing on his lips, seemingly indifferent to Chi Yu’s feelings.
Chi Yu felt his heart plummet into the abyss.
“You approached me on purpose?” He asked, knowing the answer, yet still clinging to a sliver of hope.
Murong Jing narrowed his eyes, observing him without stepping back. “That’s right.”
Along with the shattered glass on the floor, his sincere heart seemed to break into pieces. Chi Yu closed his eyes. How foolish he had been to trust a stranger he met in a bar? Just because he was attentive to the details of life, weaving a web of tenderness and care that disguised itself as love?
A bitter smile appeared on the young man’s face. “So, am I useless to you now? Murong Cheng and the others have discovered our relationship.”
Murong Jing gazed at him, seemingly wanting to speak but stopping himself.
“If that’s the case, don’t bother anymore.” Chi Yu took off his apron, letting the black fabric fall lightly onto the glass-strewn floor. “FISH BAR is yours now. I’m leaving.”
With that, he turned and left without hesitation.
The winter night’s biting wind easily pierced through Chi Yu’s unbuttoned down jacket, chilling him to the bone.
Yet, he seemed oblivious, walking slowly home.
His legs felt heavy, his steps slow as if he were exhausted. It was also as if he was waiting for something, waiting for someone to chase after him from the bar, to grab his arm from behind.
He wished Murong Jing would explain something, anything.
Even if… Murong Jing had initially approached him to extract information about Murong Yan, what about later? Was their time together also purely for gathering information? Was there… not a single shred of genuine feeling?
Chi Yu refused to believe it.
He was unwilling to accept it.
Unwilling to accept being used, being deceived, being ignored, and unwilling… to be abandoned just like that.
But Murong Jing didn’t follow.
The cold wind reddened his delicate cheeks. Chi Yu returned to his studio, walked straight into his bedroom, and collapsed onto the bed.
He didn’t know how long he slept, but for some reason, even after waking up, it was still pitch black outside. The whole world seemed to have lost its color.
Although his job at the bar was part-time, he should still formally resign. However, Chi Yu didn’t want to take the initiative. He wanted to wait for Murong Jing to come to him.
He never thought there would be a day when he was so pathetic. But he felt genuinely heartbroken.
As a bartender, he knew how to mix drinks that could quickly intoxicate someone. Customers who came to drown their sorrows loved his concoctions. But Chi Yu’s sense of taste seemed to have malfunctioned. No matter what flavor syrup he used, all he could taste was bitterness.
So, he simply stopped adding any syrup.
Hard liquor with only ice, leaving only the pure, bitter taste. Just like the drink he had deliberately made for Murong Jing that day, hoping to discourage him.
Although it was terribly bitter, Murong Jing had drunk it all in one gulp.
Perhaps talking about love was an exaggeration, but Chi Yu had believed that at least, Murong Jing liked him.
Drinking on an empty stomach, just like recklessly giving your heart to someone, carried consequences.
His already fragile stomach, weakened by years of staying in the studio and irregular sleep, couldn’t withstand such abuse.
Chi Yu started to run a fever.
He could feel it.
There was a buzzing in his ears, making it difficult to hear. His eyelids felt heavy, as if weighed down by boulders. The stabbing pain in his stomach was vicious, like being cut by a sharp blade. But because of his high temperature, all his senses were dulled, making the pain less unbearable.
He wanted to fall asleep. If he woke up and found that it was all a nightmare, that Jared had nothing to do with Murong Cheng’s CEO boyfriend, that would be the best. Almost as good would be waking up to find everything back to how it was a month ago, before he had met Murong Jing. Or, perhaps, just letting him sleep forever would be fine. He wouldn’t have to think about anything, wouldn’t feel any emotions. No sadness, no heartbreak, no resentment, not even the urge to confront Murong Jing.
He didn’t know how long he lay in bed.
It was like sinking into the mud at the bottom of a pond, the pain and the intoxication intertwined, blurring his thoughts.
If he were to be painted at this moment, would he resemble someone on the verge of death, or a resurrected zombie?
Someone outside the door seemed anxious, knocking repeatedly.
Chi Yu closed his eyes, burying his head in the pillow.
He didn’t have the energy to get up.
But the person outside persisted.
Could it be… him?
He finally mustered all his strength to get out of bed.
It was Murong Cheng standing outside.
“Why are you here…?”
Disappointment flickered in the young man’s beautiful eyes.
His legs felt weak, and he stumbled back to bed.
Murong Cheng seemed to have replied something, then asked another question. The ringing in his ears persisted, making it difficult to hear. Chi Yu responded with a perfunctory “Mm.”
Murong Cheng came closer, touched his forehead, and seemed to grow more anxious.
It was just a fever, nothing to fuss about. He half-closed his eyes, lying motionless on the bed.
However, his indifference only intensified his friend’s concern. Murong Cheng seemed to want to help him up, but lacking the strength, he failed after several attempts.
A sharp pain twisted in Chi Yu’s stomach, draining the color from his face.
“Let me sleep for a while,” he whispered, his voice barely audible, lacking the energy to struggle.
Murong Cheng didn’t give up, saying something else in his ear.
Chi Yu closed his eyes again. “It’s fine. I won’t die.”
He just wanted to keep sleeping until daylight.
Murong Cheng was relentless, insisting on feeding him porridge and medicine before leaving. Unable to refuse, Chi Yu obediently complied. But the moment Murong Cheng left his studio, Chi Yu felt his stomach churn, vomiting everything he had just forced down.
The tightness in his chest eased slightly, and he exhaled heavily.
Murong Cheng’s efforts had been in vain. It would have been better to let him sleep. He might have felt better when he woke up again.
The pale young man splashed water on his face at the sink, gripping the counter for support before returning to his bedroom.
He must have fallen asleep for a while, but soon, he was awakened again.
Perhaps the medicine he had swallowed had taken some effect, as the ringing in his ears seemed to have subsided.
Chi Yu opened his eyes impatiently, unexpectedly meeting Murong Jing’s gaze.
“What are you doing here?” Not wanting to be seen in such a vulnerable state, Chi Yu’s eyes were filled with wariness as he instinctively retreated further under the covers.
“…I came to see you.” Murong Jing looked uncomfortable, stepping forward involuntarily, wanting to touch Chi Yu’s forehead.
He was unsurprisingly rebuffed.
The young man frowned and dodged his touch. “Well, you’ve seen me.”
The man’s shoulders slumped slightly, as if sighing. “Don’t make things difficult for yourself over someone who isn’t worth it.”
Someone who isn’t worth it?
He wasn’t wrong. Indeed, not worth it.
It was like a barely healed wound being stabbed again. Chi Yu’s lips paled from the pain, and he laughed bitterly.
“You’re lecturing me now?”
The perpetrator, putting on this act now, for whom?
“Did you take your medicine?” Murong Jing glanced at the messy medicine boxes on the bedside table, reaching for them.
Chi Yu narrowed his eyes, sweeping all the scattered items on the bedside table to the floor. “Don’t bother.”
“Chi Yu!” The man frowned, glaring at him disapprovingly.
Chi Yu glared back defiantly, his arms trembling uncontrollably beneath the covers due to the fever.
Murong Jing’s tone became tinged with a hint of threat. “Do you have to be like this?”
“Like what? Shouldn’t I be asking, what are you doing, Young Master Murong? This is my studio. Please leave my key and get out.” Chi Yu lifted his chin, refusing to show weakness.
As he finished speaking, a sharp pain shot through his upper abdomen. His body involuntarily slid down the headboard, his hand clenching into a fist.
“I’ll take you to the hospital.” Murong Jing didn’t want to argue with him any further.
He bent down and scooped Chi Yu up horizontally, along with the heavy quilt. Chi Yu struggled fiercely, causing Murong Jing to lose his balance, and they both tumbled to the floor.
Just before their bodies hit the ground, Murong Jing shielded Chi Yu with his own body, preventing the feverish young man from hitting the floor while taking the full impact himself. He winced in pain, then met Chi Yu’s gaze, which was a mixture of mockery and pain.
“We’ve already broken up. What are you pretending to be now? Have you realized I still have some value to you? How do you plan to use me this time?”
His mind was in a haze, and Chi Yu didn’t know what he was saying. The tangled emotions in his chest had nowhere to go. He hated himself for still searching for even a shred of sincerity in Murong Jing’s eyes, and he hated that even though Murong Jing had used him, he was still here, rekindling his hope.
He wanted to say more, but Murong Jing didn’t give him the chance.
He sealed Chi Yu’s lips with his own.
Resistance became futile. Perhaps, deep down, Chi Yu hadn’t truly resisted his approach.
Their tongues entangled. Murong Jing’s kiss was possessive, yet gentle, considering Chi Yu’s illness, seemingly filled with lingering affection.
Heat and cold intertwined, numbing the physical pain, but the ache in his heart spread.
Why wouldn’t he explain…?
Why wouldn’t he admit his feelings, yet still hold him in his arms?
Chi Yu hardened his heart, biting down on Murong Jing’s tongue. Murong Jing gasped softly, but his grip on Chi Yu’s hands remained firm.
The warm breath rising in the winter air would eventually dissipate.
As his mind gradually cleared, Murong Jing carried Chi Yu back to bed, carefully pulling the quilt up to cover the young man’s nearly exposed body, hiding the kiss marks and the lingering traces of their encounter.
He bent down, picked up the scattered medicine boxes, brushed off the dust, and placed them back on Chi Yu’s bedside table.
The young man on the bed was pale as a sheet, his dark eyes staring at him, reflecting his pain and resentment.
Murong Jing’s hand, hovering in mid-air, fell weakly.
“I’m sorry,” Murong Jing whispered. “Forget about me. I won’t come looking for you again.”
