Chapter 32: The Break
On the ancient path outside the southern city gate, the ground was covered with red maple leaves, and the autumn wind was bleak. The leaves on the towering trees on both sides of the road, which were gradually thinning, swayed in the wind, as if they were about to fall at any moment.
Li Huaisheng led a horse, walking alone. The man and the horse left a trail of deep and shallow prints on the dirt road. His men had already been led back to the frontier by his adjutant, but he himself had stayed in the capital for a few more days. No matter how Gao Lan urged him, he was still unwilling to leave, waiting for someone, waiting for one person…
“Brother Li!”
Li Huaisheng turned his head and saw Wen Ning’an riding his Wuying to catch up. Looking closely, he saw that Wen Ning’an had not brought any luggage. He must have just come to see him off, not to leave with him. His eyes couldn’t help but dim a little.
“Brother Wen.” Li Huaisheng smiled. “Not coming with me?”
Wen Ning’an didn’t want to speak to Li Huaisheng from high up on his horse. However, he had been through an ordeal yesterday, and no matter how good his constitution was, he had ridden all the way from the palace to outside the city. So when he dismounted, his body couldn’t help but sway, losing his balance slightly.
Li Huaisheng immediately reached out and caught Wen Ning’an.
Xingxing was startled, the fur on its body standing on end. It turned its head and looked at Liangliang seriously.
*Did you see that? Daddy’s hat is green.*
[Translator’s Notes: Daddy’s hat is green : “Wearing a green hat” is a common Chinese slang for being cuckolded. ]
Liangliang was also extremely serious.
I saw it. Daddy is a disappointment, a great green prairie on his head. We can only rely on ourselves to protect Mommy and defend the family.
“How did you end up like this…” Li Huaisheng looked at Wen Ning’an’s pale face and frowned. “Come with me. Don’t stay here.”
“It’s alright.” Wen Ning’an didn’t answer his question directly, just smiled and took out a newly polished long sword to give to Li Huaisheng. “Brother Li, have a safe journey. May you be invincible on the battlefield.”
“…” Li Huaisheng didn’t respond, nor did he take the sword. He just stared at Wen Ning’an, as if he wanted to bore a hole through him.
“What’s wrong?”
“Ning’an, you belong on the battlefield, not in the inner palace.”
Wen Ning’an was stunned, as if he hadn’t expected Li Huaisheng to be so direct.
Li Huaisheng still stared at Wen Ning’an and said sharply, “You are a great general, the god of war who conquers the battlefield! But look at you now, cooped up in the inner palace, scheming with women, playing with poison to compete for glory and favor? And you’ve gotten yourself into this state. Do you like this kind of submissive life, debasing yourself for another man?”
Li Huaisheng spoke with excitement, throwing one question after another at Wen Ning’an like a string of firecrackers. He knew that although Wen Ning’an seemed easygoing, he was very tough at heart.
Li Huaisheng was Wen Ning’an’s brother of many years. Wen Ning’an didn’t want to leave him with the impression that he was vain and lazy, so he couldn’t help but defend himself, “It’s not what you think… It’s not that bad. His Majesty has also compromised and changed for me.”
Wen Ning’an rubbed his temples and sighed. “And… it’s not debasing myself, but because… because I truly like him.”
Because I like him, so many things have always been easy to ignore.
Li Huaisheng felt an nameless fire burning in his heart, growing more and more intense… He didn’t know if it was truly disappointment, or for some other reason.
“In the past, that person despised you. The whole world knew how he treated you. And now, on a whim, he beckons with his finger, and you lie down obediently on the Dragon Bed?! You…”
Wen Ning’an frowned and interrupted, “Li Huaisheng!”
“I was being extreme.” Li Huaisheng took a deep breath and tried to calm himself. “I’m not the one involved, so I don’t know what’s going on between you two. But even an outsider like me can see that he is not a good person. You won’t be happy with him. Ask anyone, and I believe their opinion will be the same as mine.”
“Thank you, Brother Li, for your concern. Have a safe journey.” Wen Ning’an cupped his fists and turned to leave.
“Ning’an!” Li Huaisheng grabbed Wen Ning’an’s wrist. “Come with me. I’m not as rich or powerful as him, but I know you don’t care about that. I can understand what you want, and I know the life you like.”
The vague feeling that had been hidden in his heart all this time, after hearing the gossip in the capital and seeing it with his own eyes, and with Wen Ning’an’s own admission, had completely collapsed, overflowed, and erupted.
Wen Ning’an turned his head and looked at Li Huaisheng with some confusion, as if he hadn’t reacted yet.
“Ning’an, I truly like you. My liking includes respect and understanding.”
Wen Ning’an was petrified, staring blankly at Li Huaisheng, even forgetting to pull his hand back.
“You…”
Li Huaisheng looked at Wen Ning’an’s eyes seriously. “I’m not joking.”
At the Dragon Boat Festival banquet a few years ago, Wen Ning’an had stolen all his thunder. Unwilling to accept it, he couldn’t help but keep a close eye on him, but the more he watched, the more he lost control, until now…
Seeing the blank expression on Wen Ning’an’s face, Li Huaisheng pulled him into his arms.
Wen Ning’an had always regretted that he had practiced the wrong techniques during his growth spurt, causing his body to develop earlier than other children of his age, but his height had stagnated. Now, he was shorter than both Feng Qi and Li Huaisheng.
At this moment, Wen Ning’an was trapped in Li Huaisheng’s embrace, his eyes wide.
“Brother Li…” Wen Ning’an finally reacted and was about to push him away, but Li Huaisheng tightened his arms and slowly lowered his head…
Before his lips could get close to Wen Ning’an’s cheek, Wen Ning’an, startled, was about to use his inner energy to break free and dodge, but he heard an “awoo.” Li Huaisheng’s hands lost their strength, and Wen Ning’an pushed his hands off him, taking several steps back.
Li Huaisheng looked down and saw a wolf and a tiger on his arm, and his hand had already been scratched with several red marks.
Wen Ning’an: “…”
“Sorry, they must be hungry.” Wen Ning’an picked up the two little ones. Seeing that they hadn’t been serious and the wounds on Li Huaisheng’s hand weren’t deep, he let out a sigh of relief. “I’ll take them to find something to eat. Farewell.”
Watching Wen Ning’an’s retreating back, holding the reins in one hand and two balls of fur in the other, riding Wuying away in a hurry, Li Huaisheng looked defeated and let out a long sigh.
In the end, I was too hasty.
But if he had taken it slow, it would have been even worse than now, a stalemate. Li Huaisheng gritted his teeth. If only I had met Wen Ning’an a few years earlier, earlier than Feng Qi, how wonderful that would have been…
When Wen Ning’an returned to the bedchamber, it was already past noon. On the table were cold delicacies. Feng Qi sat at the table, playing with his chopsticks, still in his court robes.
“So tired yesterday, and your body is still weak. Why were you in such a hurry to go out and see Li Huaisheng this morning?”
Feng Qi seemed to be in a towering rage. His voice was low and hoarse, his eyes filled with suppressed anger, but he held back from lashing out at Wen Ning’an.
Wen Ning’an turned his head away, not even wanting to explain.
Feng Qi’s hands clenched slightly into fists. He felt as if everything was slipping out of his control…
Ruined, all ruined.
All his careful planning couldn’t make Wen Ning’an stay by his side forever, not even for a moment…
Feng Qi couldn’t understand why Wen Ning’an, who clearly loved him deeply, wouldn’t listen to him. He couldn’t understand why, after he had protected him so much, Wen Ning’an had grown more and more distant from him recently.
Feng Qi felt he was going mad.
Wen Ning’an was completely unaware of the storm raging in Feng Qi’s heart. He sat down at the table and picked up his chopsticks. Xingxing immediately lay down at his feet, blinking its eyes and begging for food. Liangliang, seeing its fawning appearance, rolled its eyes, flicked its tail, and left.
However, before Wen Ning’an could move his chopsticks, Feng Qi suddenly bent down, grabbed his hand, and roughly pulled him up.
“Huaitian!” Wen Ning’an cried out in surprise. The chopsticks fell to the ground, and Xingxing was so startled that its ears twitched.
Feng Qi pulled Wen Ning’an towards the door.
“Huaitian? What are you doing!”
Feng Qi narrowed his eyes. “Go and bathe. Wash off the scent of Li Huaisheng on you. You’re covered in the Li family’s incense!”
Wen Ning’an tried to break free, raising his voice slightly. “Stop fooling around!”
“He hugged you!” Feng Qi’s voice was even louder. “I don’t know if he did anything more out of line, but I know he hugged you! Do you even have me in your heart? Don’t you like me? If you like me, why are you with someone else!”
Yixin likes me, Yixin likes me…
“Do I have you in my heart?” Wen Ning’an smiled bitterly. “Huaitian, then in your heart, what am I?”
Wen Ning’an felt all the grievances he had suffered up to now rush to the surface.
“In the past, you didn’t like me, so I deserved your cold glares and hardship. And now that you have feelings for me, I have to accept all your arrangements and cater to your likes. If you don’t like me going to war, then I can’t go, even if I am a general. If you want a child, then I have to take child-bearing medicine, even if I’m not ready. If I can’t do what you want me to do, you get angry. I… I also have my pride…”
Wen Ning’an had always had a gentle temperament and was not one to complain or argue. But with Feng Qi, he couldn’t help but long for and demand more, couldn’t help but have expectations and be willful, and even wanted to be a real couple with him. But now, Wen Ning’an felt he had been asking for too much. Feng Qi was a high and mighty emperor, the Son of Heaven, and for him to even dare to long for equality was nothing but a fool’s dream.
Either become Feng Qi’s male pet, or leave and return to the battlefield. Isn’t it that simple?
And… perhaps, Feng Qi didn’t like or love him at all, but just wanted him. Wen Ning’an didn’t understand where this desire came from, but “wanting” was not liking, nor was it a reason for two people to be together.
“No… I didn’t…” Feng Qi grabbed Wen Ning’an’s hand, a little flustered.
Wen Ning’an sighed. “I do like you, but perhaps we are truly… truly not suitable… Maybe if we weren’t together, we wouldn’t be so tired and unhappy.”
Feng Qi stared blankly at Wen Ning’an, his vision going black, a string in his heart snapping.
He had never thought that Wen Ning’an would be willing to die with him, but not willing to live with him.
Wen Ning’an turned around, not letting Feng Qi see his reddening eyes. “The frontier is already becoming unstable. Let me go.”
With that, Wen Ning’an picked up Xingxing and Liangliang and left the bedchamber without looking back.
