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Qi Zhao didn’t even know how he got back to bed.
When Qi Wei returned, he listened carefully and didn’t hear the sound of the lock being unlocked, a clear sign that Qi Wei knew his actions were wrong and was being cautious.
When Qi Wei pulled him back into his embrace, Qi Zhao moved slightly, nestling closer.
The alpha’s voice was hoarse with sleepiness. “Go to sleep.”
He even lowered his head and kissed Qi Zhao’s hair softly.
Qi Zhao mumbled in agreement, but his sleepiness had dissipated somewhat.
He thought the alpha would gradually fall asleep, since he had taken his medicine, but after a while, he heard Qi Wei ask softly, “Can’t sleep?”
Qi Zhao: “…”
Could Qi Wei not sleep unless he was asleep?
That was strange.
Qi Zhao had studied alpha behavior and psychology, yet he couldn’t explain Qi Wei’s actions.
Qi Zhao closed his eyes, trying not to overthink it. “A little, I’ll fall asleep eventually.”
Qi Wei just hummed in acknowledgment.
Not long after, Qi Zhao’s eyelids felt heavy, and he drifted off to sleep.
Qi Wei kissed him again, confirming he was asleep, and then finally relaxed, falling asleep himself.
The next day, Qi Wei had to go to the company, but Qi Zhao didn’t.
He hadn’t officially started working yet, and it was a rare day off, so he naturally wouldn’t go to the office with Qi Wei.
Before Qi Wei left after breakfast, he kissed Qi Zhao lightly on the lips and asked softly, “Are you going out today?”
Qi Zhao looked at the light snow falling outside and shook his head decisively. “It’s too cold. I’ll wait for you at home.”
“Okay.”
Qi Wei smiled, his voice gentle. “I’ll order you some food for lunch. What do you want for dinner?”
Qi Zhao could cook himself, but looking at Qi Wei, he agreed. “I don’t know, you decide.”
Qi Wei said okay, then touched his head, squeezed his hand, kissed him again, and finally, reluctantly let go. “I’ll let you know after work.”
Qi Zhao, feeling both helpless and touched by his actions, simply replied, “Okay.”
No matter what, Qi Wei truly loved him.
Even with his possessiveness, he never showed it overtly, never chained him or used forceful actions or harsh words to restrain him.
He was truly trying his best to soften his sharp edges.
After Qi Wei left, Qi Zhao tried to read, but he couldn’t focus.
After hesitating for a long time, he finally took out his phone and messaged his teacher.
It was nighttime where she was, so she replied almost instantly, saying she was free and to call her if he needed anything.
His teacher wasn’t good at typing; Qi Zhao knew this. So he found her number and was about to call when a thought occurred to him, making him pause.
…Given Qi Wei’s controlling nature, he had probably installed surveillance cameras in the house.
So Qi Zhao sighed and messaged Qi Wei, saying he was going for a walk in the complex, then went upstairs to change into a thick winter coat and scarf.
Before leaving, he checked his phone and saw Qi Wei’s reply, telling him to dress warmly, as it was cold outside.
Although Qi Zhao suspected there were cameras, he still took a picture of his outfit and sent it to Qi Wei, reassuring him that he was dressed warmly.
Qi Wei, in the car, smiled as he took out his earphones, connected them to his phone, and put them on.
He swiped on his phone a few times, unlocking a hidden interface, and then opened a hidden app with no name or icon, which displayed the contents of Qi Zhao’s phone.
Soon, the screen showed an outgoing call.
“Teacher.”
Qi Zhao, wearing his earphones, walked through the snow, greeting her in a foreign language. “How are you feeling lately?”
Qi Zhao’s teacher was a renowned psychologist abroad, but she was getting on in years and had been in poor health recently, recuperating.
She said to Qi Zhao with a smile, “I’m alright. The winter here is beautiful. You should come visit with your alpha sometime.”
Qi Zhao wasn’t surprised that she knew; after all, Qi Wei was the only super S-rank alpha in the world. Anyone who paid even a little attention would know that his partner was Qi Zhao.
“How about you?”
His teacher asked, “Since you’re with him now, does that mean the problems I mentioned before have been resolved?”
“…More or less,” Qi Zhao lowered his voice, “he loves me very much and is very patient.”
“I can hear it,” his teacher said. “The moment you said ‘he loves me very much,’ I knew you were happy.”
She paused, then continued slowly, “But you also have some concerns, don’t you, Qi?”
Qi Zhao exhaled softly and hesitated. “…Do all alphas have poor sleep quality?”
His teacher was slightly surprised. “Why do you ask? Generally, no. Actually, because higher-ranking alphas have more energy, their sleep quality is usually very good. Their bodies know when they need to rest. They often only need a few hours of sleep to be energized for days, so when they rest, they usually enter deep sleep, and that’s when they’re most vulnerable, besides during their ruts. Unless it’s wartime, when alphas have to stay alert… but it’s not wartime now.”
“Qi, does your alpha have sleep problems?”
“…Last night,” Qi Zhao wasn’t used to discussing his relationship with Qi Wei with others, but he had failed to analyze Qi Wei’s behavior countless times, so he could only seek help from his teacher, who was more knowledgeable in these matters. “He took his medicine, which had a sedative effect. He should have slept for a long time, but I just moved slightly, and he woke up.”
His teacher: “…That is indeed a little strange.”
She said, “For an alpha of his rank, if the medicine is strong enough to induce sleep, it shouldn’t wear off so easily. Qi, forgive me for asking, but do you find him often insecure and anxious?”
Because Qi Zhao was her student, she knew he would be able to sense such things, so she asked directly. If it were an ordinary person consulting her, she would explain what “insecure and anxious” meant.
Qi Zhao hummed softly in agreement. “…He’s quite insecure.”
“Then that’s probably the problem,” his teacher said. “Most people think alphas are strong and invincible, but actually, their hearts are more fragile than ordinary people. They’re similar to omegas in some aspects. The higher the alpha or omega’s rank, the more possessive they are towards their partners, that need for exclusivity is difficult to explain… You know this, we’ve discussed it in class.”
His teacher briefly touched on this well-known fact, then continued, “An alpha’s temporary marks and permanent marks actually stem from their possessiveness, and the root of their possessiveness is their insecurity. Once an alpha falls for someone, they’ll think that person is the best in the world. And the higher their rank, the less they can tolerate others, even imagining everyone as their rival. This only lessens after a temporary mark, or even a permanent mark.”
Qi Zhao’s breath hitched.
He felt that if this was the case, Qi Wei would be very tired.
So…
“If… if a temporary mark isn’t possible, is this the only way?”
“…How should I put it,” his teacher hummed softly, “based on my research and the cases I’ve studied, there have been alpha-alpha couples who couldn’t form temporary marks, but their situations still improved. I’ve surveyed many such couples, and my conclusion is that it’s because they know they love each other, so I agree with the theory your alpha proposed a long time ago—”
“Emotions and psychological state can influence pheromones.”
Qi Zhao didn’t speak for a moment.
His teacher continued, “Qi, I don’t know what problems you two are facing, but I can sense your feelings for him, so intense and passionate. So according to the known cases, he shouldn’t have any major problems. If, if you feel that his problems are serious, and there are things you’re uncomfortable telling me, then think about why.”
“Why he acts this way, why he feels this way… He’ll always reveal some clues; you just need to notice them.”
She said gently, “Or perhaps he just doesn’t feel secure enough with you.”
Not secure enough?
Qi Zhao didn’t understand what more he could do.
He had already indulged Qi Wei so much… or was it because he had asked to wait until after his rut to discuss marriage, making Qi Wei think he was rejecting him?
Or… perhaps, since Qi Wei had already done so much for him, taken so many steps, he could consider proposing marriage himself?
Qi Zhao didn’t really care who proposed; he had said he was looking forward to it, simply expecting a surprise from Qi Wei. But him proposing was also fine.
Would that make Qi Wei feel more secure?
Qi Zhao exhaled softly.
He didn’t want to see Qi Wei tormenting himself like this.
“Okay,” Qi Zhao said softly to his teacher, “thank you, Teacher.”
His teacher smiled. “You’ve helped me so much, there’s no need to be so polite.”
She then seemed to remember something. “By the way, Qi, I’ve also heard quite a bit about that alpha.”
She asked Qi Zhao, “I heard that he started rejecting omegas a long time ago, even rejecting an omega with a 99% compatibility rate. Is that true?”
Qi Zhao’s eyelashes fluttered as he recalled Tang Huaiyuan’s words. “Yes.”
His teacher said, surprised, “Then he must have liked you for a very long time!”
Qi Zhao hummed softly in agreement.
His teacher hummed thoughtfully. “…Qi, I suddenly have a thought.”
She said seriously, “I encountered an alpha before who had severe mental health issues. His partner… passed away in an accident. After a few years of depression, he suddenly recovered. He always talked about his partner, and it was the deceased partner. In his memory, his partner was still alive and by his side. He seemed happy, but after interacting with him for a while, I could sense his underlying tension.”
“I won’t go into too much detail, but simply put, because this alpha couldn’t accept his partner’s death, his mind and pheromones created a false memory, making him believe his partner was still with him, that nothing had changed, even making him forget about the accident.”
His teacher: “But this alpha couldn’t mark his partner during his rut, and because of the strength of alpha genes, this alpha was also A+ rank, almost S-rank, so deep down, he knew his partner was gone, but he still clung to that false memory. This alpha was constantly tense, he told everyone that his partner was still alive, he acted happy and in love, but he was also extremely anxious, as if everyone was his rival, trying to steal his partner, afraid that this false memory would be shattered.”
“If you’re interested, you can watch a movie based on his story. I’ll send you the title later.”
Then she said, slightly puzzled, “But you’re clearly… alive and well…”
Indeed.
Qi Zhao was alive and well, right beside Qi Wei.
Qi Zhao’s lips moved, as if a thought had just occurred to him, a sudden realization, yet also a sense of confusion. “…I understand.”
He didn’t say anything more to his teacher. “Thank you.”
He said softly, “We’ll visit you when we have time.”
After the call ended, Qi Wei couldn’t hear Qi Zhao’s voice anymore.
He rubbed his phone, his finger lightly tapping his earpiece. Then he let go.
He could have prevented Qi Zhao from talking to his teacher, but he hadn’t.
He knew that with his teacher’s expertise, she would probably tell him these things.
But Qi Wei had still allowed the call.
He closed his eyes and gently touched the side of his neck.
An alpha’s genes were too strong. The mark Qi Zhao had left on him two days ago had already disappeared, like a bubble bursting.
Let’s see, then.
Qi Wei had listened to the entire conversation, almost masochistically, because—
He needed this to confirm whether the Qi Zhao by his side now was a figment of his imagination, a false memory, or real.
He was a coward; he shouldn’t have done this. Continuing to delude himself would bring him a sense of peace, a taste of sweetness.
But… he still wanted to live a few more years. Even if it was all fake, a fantasy he had created, he still had to break free from it.
Because he wanted to see Qi Zhao for a few more years.
He couldn’t continue sinking into the mire; he had to struggle out, to see his Ah Zhao.
