Chapter 7: “I’m Big.”

Shi Yanchi took several deep breaths to calm himself before pushing open the door.

It wasn’t locked. As soon as he opened it, he saw a monster curled up in the bathtub. His scarlet snake tail took up almost the entire tub, the tip draped over the edge and swaying lazily.

The tap was still running. Foam had spilled over the side of the tub and spread across the bathroom floor, with some of it starting to drift toward the door.

At the sound of the door opening, the creature in the tub bared his fangs and hissed a warning. But when he saw Shi Yanchi, Tu Lin slowly lowered his threat and replaced it with a smug grin.

Shi Yanchi was speechless.

He’d lost count of how many times he’d gone quiet that day. Part of him was amazed that a snake would do something like this; another part thought that, because it was Tu Lin, it made perfect sense.

Shi Yanchi drew a long breath. “What are you doing? Are you planning to flood the whole house?”

The monster, apparently unable to tell a kind word from a harsh one, seriously considered the question. Then he nodded.

“Wet. Good.”

Shi Yanchi gave him a cold smile. “If you like water so much, sleep out in the yard. It’s been raining nonstop lately. You’ll have more water than you know what to do with.”

Shi Yanchi smiled, and Tu Lin grinned right along with him, as if being caught planning to flood the whole house and turning the moment into a joke were perfectly normal.

“Do you think I’m joking? You’re living outside from now on,” Shi Yanchi said coldly.

Tu Lin suddenly understood. His face fell, and he shut off the tap at once. “Joke. No flood.” He even tried to climb out of the tub and grab Shi Yanchi’s hand.

Shi Yanchi glanced at him, did his best to keep his own temper calm, and pressed him back down. “Don’t move. You might as well finish your bath while you’re in there.”

What did a snake know about bathing like a person? Even after what looked like careful consideration, Tu Lin had only submerged his tail and body.

Perhaps he thought that wasn’t interesting enough. He dunked the lower half of his face, then blew bubbles. Glug, glug, glug.

“Am I raising a baby?” Shi Yanchi wondered if Aunt Zhen had lied to him. Maybe he hadn’t entered the soul of a snake at all. Maybe this was eight-year-old Tu Lin, somehow transported through time. “When Grandma was alive, she used to ask if we should adopt a child. Thank goodness we didn’t.”

As he sighed, he pushed his sleeves up. “I’ll help you just this once.”

Shi Yanchi brushed Tu Lin’s wet, foamy hair back from his face. “Tilt your head back. I’ll wash your hair.”

This was the first time Shi Yanchi had seen his face from this angle. There was no doubt it was beautiful, and there was nothing wrong with it. But sometimes a face that was too perfect left your gaze drifting, unsure where to settle. The two moles beneath his eyes drew the eye in, until you couldn’t help meeting his gaze.

Just as Shi Yanchi was doing now.

He stared at Tu Lin for a moment, somewhat dazed. When Tu Lin was still and quiet, he really did look like Shi Yanchi’s late husband.

Shi Yanchi quickly looked away. “Close your eyes. I’m rinsing your hair.”

Tu Lin obediently did as he was told.

Halfway through, he suddenly asked, “Wife… are you unhappy?”

“Look at you, learning to read people.” Shi Yanchi paused. “I’m not unhappy. I just wish you’d grow up a little.”

Tu Lin lifted his thick tail and poked Shi Yanchi’s hand with it. “I’m big. Already.”

“I don’t mean your size. I want you to be more mature, so you don’t have to rely on me for everything.” Shi Yanchi smiled wryly. “Forget it. Why am I telling you all this? You’re like this because it’s what I asked for, after all.”

Tu Lin gave a very soft “Ah,” though Shi Yanchi couldn’t tell whether he’d understood.

Shi Yanchi didn’t expect much from him, so he changed the subject.

“I’ve never been this patient with anyone before.” He repeated what he’d said that afternoon, adding, “So from now on, you have to treat me well too, okay?”

“Okay.”

“You certainly know how to promise. Don’t bare your teeth and hiss at me next time.”

“No.”

Tu Lin hadn’t made himself clear, but Shi Yanchi didn’t take it to heart. How clever could a snake with a brain the size of a thumb possibly be?

Their pointless conversation ended, and so did the hair wash. Shi Yanchi draped a towel over Tu Lin’s head and awkwardly helped him dry his hair.

Drying it turned out to be harder than washing it. Several times, Shi Yanchi nearly burned Tu Lin’s ear or sucked his shoulder-length hair into the dryer. He only avoided disaster because he reacted quickly.

Tu Lin was so obedient that Shi Yanchi found it strange.

When he looked down, he realized Tu Lin had been watching him the whole time.

“What—”

“Here. One thing.” Tu Lin reached out and pressed a fingertip to the mole on Shi Yanchi’s lower lip. “I don’t have one.”

Shi Yanchi hadn’t been ready for that. Feeling something on his lip, he reflexively stuck out his tongue and licked it. When it touched Tu Lin’s cold finger, he realized what he’d done.

He was about to pull away when Tu Lin forcefully shoved his thumb into Shi Yanchi’s mouth, pinning his tongue in place.

As if caressing someone’s skin, Tu Lin slid his thumb lightly over Shi Yanchi’s tongue, then slowly moved it farther back, deeper into his mouth.

The throat was sensitive and vulnerable. Whenever Shi Yanchi caught a cold, it started with an inflamed throat, so he paid more attention to it and reacted more easily. He shuddered and leaned back.

Tu Lin withdrew his thumb and stood up, stepping closer to him. Their faces were less than four inches apart, and Tu Lin’s half-dry hair brushed against Shi Yanchi’s face and glasses.

The clumsy innocence had vanished. All that remained was the ferocity of a wild animal watching its prey.

Then Tu Lin began to lean down.

Shi Yanchi’s glasses were pressed crooked. Their lips met, and the mole on his lower lip was squeezed between them. It didn’t hurt, but the sensation was strange. It was the beginning of a deep kiss, and Tu Lin even slipped out his forked tongue.

But when Shi Yanchi tasted blood, he came to his senses.

“That’s enough!” He shoved Tu Lin away and turned his face aside to adjust his glasses. “Your hair’s almost dry.”

“No! No…”

Tu Lin repeated the word in a hollow, distorted voice, but Shi Yanchi had no mind to pay attention.

Shi Yanchi wiped his mouth hard with the back of his hand. A streak of blood came away from his split lip. “Stay here, then. I’m leaving.” He fled the bathroom.

As he hurried toward the bedroom, Shi Yanchi thought:

I’m the one with the problem. I’m ruled by desire, desperate for touch, and I’ve been indulging him out of a selfish, shameful hope. That’s why I didn’t stop him firmly at once. That’s why I let myself get swept up in it.

But this is Tu Lin with his memories gone. This is Tu Lin who will eventually get them back.

I need to keep some distance from now on. I can’t use his snake instincts, his unstable soul, or his innocence as an excuse to forget where the boundaries are.

Even as he tried to talk himself out of it, Shi Yanchi had to admit that the kiss—which barely deserved the name—had affected him more than he wanted to admit. The restless heat in his chest didn’t settle even after he returned to the bedroom. He had to take care of himself several times before he could finally calm down.

And it wasn’t that his desire had truly faded. He was simply exhausted. When he finished, he drifted off again.

“Hungry.”

Shi Yanchi had been asleep for a while when the sound of scratching at the door and a voice calling out woke him. A familiar figure already stood by his bed.

“What?” He wasn’t fully awake, but he instinctively scooted back. “How did you get in? Is it past dinnertime?”

Tu Lin seemed not to hear him. He suddenly bent toward Shi Yanchi and began repeating the words as if he’d lost his mind. “Hungry. So hungry…”

Shi Yanchi fumbled on the bedside table until he found his glasses. The instant he saw Tu Lin clearly, his pupils contracted. Tu Lin’s golden eyes had turned milky white, and red scales had appeared across his face and neck.

Something was very wrong.

In that moment, all thoughts of keeping his distance and respecting boundaries vanished.

Shi Yanchi sat up at once and touched the mole beneath Tu Lin’s eye. “I’ll make you something to eat.”