Chapter 53

“Big Daddy, this one’s the disc of you and Dad’s wedding.”

“Roar—”

“And this one’s you and Dad on your honeymoon.”

“Roar roar—”

“Neither of these has me in them. How infuriating.”

“Roar roar roar—”

After finishing the wedding video, Lin Xiaobao emerged from the toilet and insisted on dragging Fu Cheng around to introduce every disc in the house.

And so now, father and son were crouched on either side of the TV cabinet, with the drawer full of discs pulled open between them.

Lin Xiaobao had watched these discs at least five times each.

He rattled them off with perfect recall, as if reciting a catalog of family heirlooms.

These were the house’s most precious treasures, after all!

Of course, none were as precious as he, Little Bao Bao, was.

“Starting with this one, I’m in it!”

Lin Xiaobao pointed to one of the disc cases, his voice rising and falling excitedly.

“But it’s just the tiny, wrinkly me.”

“Roar…”

“Big Daddy, no more ‘roar roars.’ Say something else!”

Fu Cheng pondered for a moment, then nodded slightly. “Hrmm—”

Lin Zao, clutching a blanket, lounged crookedly on the bed and watched their antics. He couldn’t hold back a chuckle. “Pfft!”

Hmph!

Lin Xiaobao didn’t need to turn around to know it was Dad laughing at him.

So—

Lin Xiaobao tilted his head, his eyes darting as a plan formed.

He called out deliberately, “Big Daddy, let me ask you something!”

Fu Cheng turned to look at him, his gaze questioning.

—What is it?

“You and Dad got married and went on your honeymoon—why didn’t you take me along?”

Lin Xiaobao stood up, hands on his hips, belly thrust out.

He was righteously indignant, full of bluster!

“You two are awful!”

Under Lin Xiaobao’s loud accusation—

Fu Cheng fell silent, looking a touch guilty.

Lin Zao, however, straightened up on the bed without thinking.

Little Bao Bao, what are you saying?

Didn’t Dad already explain this to you?

Why bring it up again?

Fu Cheng raised a hand and patted Lin Xiaobao’s head soothingly.

—Sorry. Next time, we’ll definitely take you. Don’t be mad.

Plan successful!

Lin Xiaobao puffed up with pride, whipping his head around to flash Dad a smug grin.

Hee hee!

Of course he knew he hadn’t even been born when Dad and Big Daddy got married.

But Big Daddy didn’t know that!

Big Daddy had turned into the Big Monster, and now he was a big dummy too.

From today on, whenever Dad teased him, he’d mess with Dad’s husband!

Through Lin Xiaobao’s wicked little grin, Lin Zao read his intent but feigned indifference, spreading his hands casually.

“Do whatever. My husband is your Big Daddy too, after all.”

“Hmph!”

Lin Xiaobao tossed his little head high.

Lin Zao raised a hand, narrowed his eyes, and pretended to pinch Lin Xiaobao’s head from afar.

“You two can only watch TV for half an hour a day. No more.”

“Ah?”

“Roar!”

Father and son protested in unison!

The smile on Lin Xiaobao’s face migrated to Lin Zao’s.

Little Bao Bao had Big Cheng Bro right where he wanted them.

Gotcha!

No matter what.

The rugged zombie Fu Cheng had been led straight into the trap by the human cub Lin Xiaobao.

Father and son were both hooked on TV now. Their love for it came second only to their love for Lin Zao.

Every morning, after finishing the household chores, the two would pester Lin Zao to turn on the TV.

Lin Xiaobao didn’t know how. Fu Cheng worried he’d smash it with his strength.

So they had no choice but to rely on Lin Zao.

To watch TV, father and son crowded around him.

Lin Xiaobao clasped his hands in a begging pose, like a little beckoning cat.

Fu Cheng mimicked him, pleading just as earnestly.

But he wasn’t nearly as cute.

He looked like Tom Cat from Tom and Jerry, covered in lumps from beatings and groveling for mercy.

Lin Zao’s feet got tangled in them, leaving him equal parts exasperated and amused.

He really couldn’t figure it out.

They’d watched these few discs hundreds of times already—how could they still love them so much?

Oh well. Lin Zao wasn’t one to make things difficult for them.

Usually, after two or three minutes of begging and a couple sweet words, he’d give in.

Of course, besides his own name, Fu Cheng still couldn’t say much else.

So Lin Xiaobao handled the sweet-talking.

“Dad, you’re the most beautiful and kindest dad in the world.”

“Dad, you’re the best dad in the whole world.”

“Dad, guess how much Big Daddy and I love you.”

When Lin Zao was pleased, he’d turn on the TV for them.

Usually right after lunch.

Fu Cheng and Lin Xiaobao sat on the bed watching.

Lin Zao hugged a blanket and napped between them.

It took a bit to drift off, so before Lin Zao fell asleep, Lin Xiaobao would creep to his ear and whisper more praise.

“Dad, you’re the best.”

“Dad, I love you.”

“Dad, muah muah muah…”

It was complimentary bedtime hypnosis.

After hearing so many words so often, Fu Cheng picked up a few.

When Lin Zao couldn’t sleep, he’d grab Fu Cheng’s hand and guide his fingers to his own neck.

Through the black leather glove, Fu Cheng could feel the vibrations with every word Lin Zao spoke.

“Zao.”

“Zao—”

“Bao.”

“Bao—”

Lin Zao’s eyes lit up. He perked up, delighted. “Little Bao, Big Daddy can say your name now!”

“I knew it ages ago.” Lin Xiaobao beamed with confidence. “Big Daddy said it to me a few days back.”

“When?” Lin Zao frowned, puzzled. “I didn’t hear anything.”

“That night a few days ago, when we were about to sleep.”

“Hm?” Lin Zao’s brows furrowed tighter, sensing something off.

“Dad was in the bath, Big Daddy and I were outside. He grabbed my hand and kept saying my name, trying to drag me to my own little room.”

“What?” Lin Zao fumed and smacked Fu Cheng’s chest like a gavel.

Lin Xiaobao blinked innocently.

Fu Cheng stayed quiet, glancing from Lin Zao to Lin Xiaobao, looking distinctly uneasy.

“Big Daddy said ‘Bao Bao,’ but I wanted to sleep with Dad, so I hugged my pillow and wouldn’t budge.”

Lin Xiaobao went on.

“Then Dad came out of the bath, and Big Daddy put me back on the bed. But his grip was too strong, and it hurt a little.”

Lin Zao pressed his lips together and looked up at Fu Cheng. “I knew there was a reason Little Bao’s arm was red that night. It was you! Are you even ‘Big Daddy’ anymore?”

Fu Cheng let out two “Hrmm—”s and dropped his gaze, trying to look innocent.

No, Little Zao.

He couldn’t talk. He wasn’t fully human anymore.

He hadn’t meant to drag Little Bao away. He hadn’t bullied him.

Really. Believe me.

Lin Zao raised his hand high and swatted him.

As if I’d believe you, you dead ghost!

Lin Zao yanked the blanket over, rolled away to face the other direction, and pulled Lin Xiaobao close.

Fu Cheng’s outstretched hand landed on Lin Zao’s shoulder, only to be shrugged off with a twist.

Fu Cheng looked up, meeting Lin Xiaobao’s pouting little face, and lifted his own chin in kind.

He had accidentally pinched Lin Xiaobao’s arm, leaving a small mark.

But that mark wasn’t even as big as Lin Xiaobao’s own thumb!

He’d noticed and rubbed it for him.

A few days ago, Lin Xiaobao hadn’t tattled, so he’d thought it was forgotten.

Turns out this little rascal was spilling the beans now.

Fu Cheng lowered his head and gently bonked his forehead against Lin Xiaobao’s.

Lin Xiaobao toppled backward off-balance and wailed, “Dad, Big Daddy headbutted me!”

Fu Cheng’s eyes widened in disbelief.

No way—humans were too sneaky!

This cub had way too many schemes!

Lin Xiaobao burrowed into Dad’s arms. Fu Cheng hurried after, hugging Lin Zao from behind.

Lin Zao patted Lin Xiaobao’s head, then jabbed Fu Cheng’s chest with his elbow.

Hmph!

Those calm, heartwarming days slipped by one after another.

Under Lin Xiaobao’s guidance, Fu Cheng watched every disc in the house in chronological order.

Including, but not limited to—

My Honeymoon Journey with Little Zao, My Sweet Daily Life with Little Zao, and Nurturing New Life with Little Zao (Pure Edition).

That afternoon.

Lin Zao woke from a comfortable nap.

Fu Cheng and Lin Xiaobao were watching Me, Little Zao, and That Scheming Boy Watching Fireworks Together / Me, Dad, and the Driver Big Daddy Watching Fireworks—same disc, no doubt.

It would be over in a few minutes.

Lin Zao sat up and leaned against Fu Cheng to watch with them.

Five minutes later, the video ended.

Lin Zao hopped off the bed and headed to the bathroom to change.

Fu Cheng and Lin Xiaobao tidied the water cups and stood outside, waiting quietly.

At first, father and son ignored each other stubbornly.

Neither looked at nor acknowledged the other.

But not three seconds passed before both whipped their heads around.

“Big Daddy, that disc today was pretty good, right?”

“Good.”

Fu Cheng could say simple words now. He usually saved “good” for praising Lin Zao.

“I don’t think little me was as cute as me now.”

“Uh…”

Fu Cheng didn’t know how to respond.

He pretended not to understand.

“Of course, you made a pretty good driver and cameraman. You got some nice shots of me.”

Fu Cheng sighed inwardly.

The two TV addicts swapped post-viewing thoughts.

They weren’t exactly on the same page, but the vibe was harmonious enough.

Just then, Lin Zao emerged from the bathroom, dressed.

“I’m ready!”

Father and son snapped their heads toward him in sync.

“Dad!”

“Zaozao!”

Lin Zao strode out, announcing loudly as he went, “Our main tasks for this afternoon are as follows—”

Fu Cheng and Lin Xiaobao trailed behind, ears perked attentively.

One of them couldn’t understand, but he listened anyway.

—”First, check the lettuce roots in the drink bottles. Toss out all the rotten ones.”

They’d been keeping the lettuce roots in plain water. The earliest batch had been there over a month.

Unfortunately, instead of sprouting new leaves as Lin Zao had hoped, they’d started rotting and stinking.

That very morning, Lin Zao and Lin Xiaobao had caught a whiff of something foul. They searched everywhere, even suspecting Fu Cheng had snuck out to hang with his “zombie buddies” and stepped in dog poop.

Turned out it was their lettuce roots.

They took them to Grandpa Zhang, who pinched one, felt it, and declared it long rotten.

Maybe the cold weather. Maybe missing nutrients in the water.

Either way, their hydroponics plan had flopped.

Lin Xiaobao had moped for ages.

Lin Zao figured they’d dig some soil later and plant lettuce properly.

But first things first: ditch the rotten roots.

—”Second, wipe down the little dog with a damp towel.”

They’d had the little dog for over ten days now.

In that time, it had grown steadily.

On day five, it opened its eyes.

By day ten, its sparse, translucent newborn fur had thickened and darkened.

On day fifteen, it wobbled to its feet and tried walking.

Now, it circled its dog bed with a wagging tail.

Puppies generally weren’t ready for baths until two or three months old.

Until then, a damp towel was the way to gently clean their fur.

The little dog hadn’t had a proper wipe-down since arriving.

Time to fix that for hygiene’s sake.

—”Third, teach the little dog to potty in one spot.”

Lin Zao turned and looked at Fu Cheng.

Fu Cheng’s brows furrowed slightly.

What? Why stare at me?

“This one’s on you, Brother Cheng!”

Lin Zao grinned and clapped his shoulder.

“Because the little dog only listens to you.”

“Roar—”

The family of three descended the stairs to the first floor.

The palm-sized little dog heard them and turned.

Spotting the familiar faces, it scrambled on unsteady legs, tail wagging furiously as it tottered over.

“Roar roar—roar roar roar—”

Maybe from habit, its barks sounded just like Fu Cheng’s.

Just smaller and softer.

It barreled straight for Fu Cheng, legs flailing independently.

It couldn’t brake at his feet and tumbled into a fluffy ball.

Fu Cheng froze in place, terrified of stepping on it. He grabbed Lin Zao’s hem.

If he squished this dog, Little Bao would cry his eyes out.

Lin Xiaobao was already miffed at how the little dog fawned over Big Daddy.

He crossed his arms, turned away, and huffed loudly.

Lin Zao chuckled and scooped up the little dog with a sigh.

“Then let’s do tasks two and three first.”

“Little Bao, grab the fresh towel we prepped.”

“Got it.”

“Brother Cheng, hold it. Gently.”

“Hrmm—”

Lin Zao placed the little dog in Fu Cheng’s hands and took the basin upstairs to fill it halfway with warm water.

All set.

Fu Cheng cradled the little dog like a puff of cotton.

Lin Zao soaked the new towel, wrung it out, draped it over the little dog, and wiped gently.

Lin Xiaobao cupped his face and squatted nearby, watching intently.

“Dad, I think the little dog’s getting darker.”

“Me too.”

Lin Zao lifted the towel. Lin Xiaobao gaped at the black grime. “Whoa! So much dirt! No wonder it’s so black!”

What nonsense was that?

Fu Cheng frowned. Human speech was lost on zombies sometimes.

Lin Zao wrung out the towel until it was clean and gave the little dog a second wipe-down.

This time, the towel came away a bit cleaner, though still tinged gray.

For the third pass, Lin Zao fetched fresh water, intending to give it one final scrub.

Lin Xiaobao extended a finger and rubbed the top of its head, then inspected his fingertip.

“It’s not black anymore!”

Lin Xiaobao said in delight.

“Dad, my finger’s clean, but its fur is still black.”

“That’s because its fetal fur has darkened. In a few more months, the little dog’s birth coat will shed, and the new fur might be even darker.”

“Um…” Lin Xiaobao pondered this seriously. “What if it turns into a little black dog?”

“Then it’ll just be a little black dog.”

“But we agreed—whatever color it is, that’s what we’ll name it.”

Lin Xiaobao declared this confidently, as if reciting a tongue twister.

“If it’s a little black dog, we’ll have to call it ‘Little Black.’ But its parents are already called ‘Little Black.’ It can’t have the same name!”

“You’re right.” Lin Zao nodded as the memory resurfaced. “Then we’ll pick something else, like ‘Little Little Black’ or ‘Not White.'”

“That’s too half-assed.” Lin Xiaobao patted the little dog’s head. “I need to think about it more seriously.”

“Alright.”

Lin Zao finished wiping down the little dog, and Fu Cheng set it back on the ground.

The moment its paws touched the floor, however, it shoved its snout forward and started crawling toward the basin of used bathwater.

“Oh no!” Lin Xiaobao cried out. “That’s your bathwater—you can’t drink it! You’re such a little dummy!”

He hurriedly pressed down on its head, but in doing so, he accidentally dunked its nose right into the water.

“Dad, make it stop drinking! What should I do? I don’t dare grab it!”

The two little creatures—one human, one canine—were roughly the same age and equally dim-witted. They fumbled clumsily together, creating total chaos.

In the end, it took Lin Zao and Fu Cheng to step in. Each grabbed one of the flailing animals by the scruff of the neck and pried them apart.

Lin Zao held Lin Xiaobao, while Fu Cheng lifted the little dog.

Just then, the little dog arched its back.

A moment later, a clear stream of urine trickled out in a steady patter!

“Ah! It’s peeing!”

This time, it was Lin Zao who shrieked.

He had a touch of germaphobia and refused to touch the wet little dog. Instead, he clutched Fu Cheng’s arm and ducked behind him.

“Brother Cheng, quick! Get it onto the pee pad! Hurry—use this chance to teach it to go in the right spot!”

Fu Cheng stayed calm and extended his arm to hold the little dog farther away as he turned around.

It was just urine—what was there to fear?

Little Zao needn’t worry; he’d give this pup a proper lesson.

“If it pees on you, I won’t want you anymore! You won’t get to sleep in the bed! Even if you take eight hundred baths, I still won’t want you!”

What?!

Was this such a dire matter?

No, no—he had to act fast!

Fu Cheng’s expression turned stern, his gaze sharpening as he quickened his movements and intensified the lesson.

“Woof! Woof woof woof!”

—The first rule for any dog: no peeing wherever you please!