Chapter 18

Gu Xiaodeng stared blankly at Su Mingya’s departing back for a moment before coming face-to-face with his blood-related maternal uncle, An Zhenwen, who emerged from the inner room.

The An family produced beauties. An Zhenwen was very young, bearing somewhat of a resemblance to An Ruoyi. His temperament was refined yet stern, filled with the scholarly air of a learned academic.

Gu Xiaodeng saluted him according to proper etiquette, calling him “Lord An.” An Zhenwen scrutinized him for a moment before speaking in a calm tone: “Cousin Young Master, go on in.”

With that, he walked off to join Su Mingya, the two figures, one tall and one small, gradually leaving the courtyard.

Gu Xiaodeng watched for two seconds, then entered the inner room. He shed his outer robe, which was damp with the suggestion of snow, and walked through the crackling sounds of charcoal fires. The medicinal smell inside the room lingered, the gauze curtains swayed gently, and the warmth felt like March in spring.

He first saw his second sister, Gu Ruhui, holding a bowl of medicine. She stood before the gauze curtain, about to enter. From the back, her slender and delicate figure held the grace of a celestial being, but when she turned her face, the resolve in her eyes masked that otherworldly poise. That steely, ambitious drive between her brows was something only the toil of the mortal world could temper.

Gu Xiaodeng quickly saluted: “Second Young Lady, I am here to pay respects to the Princess Consort. I hope I am not disturbing you.”

Gu Ruhui’s gaze fell upon his earlobes. “Since you are visiting the sick, there’s no need for excessive formalities. Come in with me.”

Gu Xiaodeng eagerly followed. When he entered the chamber, he first saw a circle of people—all physicians, servants, and maids. Though it was as silent as a windless day, the throng of people standing there, their ears and eyes forming a continuous web, made the air itself seem stagnant.

Amidst this crowd, Gu Xiaodeng’s footsteps echoed a soft tapping. An Ruoyi, lying on the sickbed with a pale, weary expression, shifted her eyes to look at him. Her expression grew even more tired. “Why are you here?”

“I came to see you…” Gu Xiaodeng observed her poor complexion, and his eyes reddened. He thought of his adoptive father enduring the pain of his final illness. “Princess Consort, could I come and tend to you while you’re ill? I know a bit of medicine and massage, I could make you more comfortable…”

“You are thoughtful.” An Ruoyi turned her gaze blandly to Gu Ruhui. Gu Ruhui brought the medicine over and sat by the bedside. The mother and daughter shared a refined, harmonious presence, like two plants living in symbiosis.

“The Cousin Young Master is showing his respect for you. He is still young and simple at heart,” Gu Ruhui said with a smile, speaking to her before turning her head. “Xiaodeng, the Princess Consort has no shortage of helping hands here. Since you have paid your respects, you should head back early, lest the snow makes the paths slippery.”

Gu Xiaodeng felt a pang of sadness but could only agree. He craned his neck to look at An Ruoyi once more, and suddenly noticed the profile of Gu Ruhui’s earlobe. She, too, had double earholes, and the two ear pendants she wore resembled a miniature, exquisite Restraint Pendant, gracefully accentuating the beautiful line of her shoulders and neck.

For some reason, Gu Xiaodeng suddenly felt they were incredibly far away from him. Their world was a tiny universe unto itself, like two birds welded onto a folding screen.

Changluo was slightly north, and the winter snow fell heavier by the day. As December arrived and the end of the year approached, the entire Gu Family household became busy inside and out. Gu Xiaodeng was also forced to intensify his studies, being stretched and twisted daily by his Body Tempering Instructor until he was utterly miserable.

He had studied etiquette and rules for a long time and knew how to be composed and dignified. Still, twelve years of immersion in the Jianghu could not be overwritten by just a few months in a noble house. He often unconsciously displayed “frivolous” behaviors that drew reprimands.

There were few opportunities to do as he pleased. Gu Xiaodeng could only wait for Gu Jinyu, who was supposed to return on the fifteenth. Unexpectedly, that Big Tree Branch Gu, though small in stature, had many matters to attend to and wouldn’t be back until near the end of the year.

Gu Xiaodeng was quite dejected. He begged Feng’en to slightly alter his lesson schedule, shifting his afternoons to the training yard for horseback riding.

When he got there, he did not rush to fetch his own pony. Instead, he ran over to Gu Jinyu’s big horse, gesturing and waving his hands at it excitedly.

The thousand-li horse had much of Gu Jinyu’s aloof arrogance; it raised its head and looked down at him with undisguised disdain.

Just as Gu Xiaodeng was gesturing animatedly, laughter suddenly erupted from behind him. “What are you miming at Northern Gaze?”

Startled, Gu Xiaodeng whipped around. He was greatly amazed, and a “Sticky Candy” nearly burst from his lips. “Young Master Ge… you still haven’t gone home?”

Ge Dongchen laughed heartily. “What, have I eaten through your family’s rice jar?”

Gu Xiaodeng waved his hand dismissively. By all rights, following Gu Jinyu’s instructions and considering the grudges between the An and Ge families, he should keep his distance. But the afternoon was simply too lonely, so he ended up engaging. “Is this arrogant horse called Northern Gaze?”

“Arrogant horse.” Ge Dongchen burst out laughing again. He stepped forward to take the horse’s reins. As soon as he reached out, the horse lowered its head.

Gu Xiaodeng felt curious. “It’s not acting wild anymore. It’s actually scared of you.”

“Of course. Back when I stayed here training in martial arts with Jinyu, I often took it out for secret joyrides,” Ge Dongchen said, patting the thousand-li horse. “Xiaodeng, right now it doesn’t dare act up. Go ahead and give it some pointers.”

Gu Xiaodeng watched, thinking this was too good a chance to pass up. He quickly ran forward, tentatively raising his hand to cover the head of the horse that was normally so arrogant and dismissive. It truly submitted, docile and obedient.

Ge Dongchen laughed again. “Oh dear, originally I was thinking of letting you ride on Northern Gaze’s back. But looking at you now, you’re still too short. Only that Short Pony suits you.”

“I know I’m short. I didn’t plan on riding a big horse anyway,” Gu Xiaodeng replied frankly. He tilted his head up to glance at Ge Dongchen, who stood a full head taller than him. Though he kept his mouth shut, his expression clearly read: “You sure are a big lump.”

Ge Dongchen saw through his meaning instantly and laughed again, lowering his head to pat the horse. “Northern Gaze, oh Northern Gaze, your master is truly wicked, deliberately giving you such a name.”

Gu Xiaodeng’s curiosity was piqued. “Why is it wicked?”

Ge Dongchen had just been waiting to draw him into conversation. “My family also has a top-quality steed. My father gifted it to my mother to relieve her boredom. My mother named that horse South Gaze. You should know, my mother is from the Southern Border and isn’t exactly welcomed by the Central Plains nobility of Changluo. After she named the horse that, it became another laughingstock. That wretched Gu Jinyu deliberately named this arrogant horse Northern Gaze just to tease me.”

“Not necessarily. Maybe it’s just a coincidence. After all, our Prince is the Prince Zhenbei…” Gu Xiaodeng defended, though he couldn’t help but look at him. “But your mother is a bit pitiful. Changluo is so far from the Southern Border. Leaving her homeland and family, she must be quite lonely.”

Ge Dongchen’s smile turned slightly cold.

“So you should spend more time with your mother,” Gu Xiaodeng said, self-righteously moving away from him. “If you spend more time cheering her up, maybe that horse wouldn’t be called South Gaze, but Homebody instead.”

Ge Dongchen was silent for a moment, then laughed involuntarily. “…Your skill at naming things is truly superb.”

Gu Xiaodeng thought to himself that Ge Dongchen was still called Sticky Candy in his own mind. Not wanting to talk further, he turned to fetch his little pony, but Ge Dongchen followed him, chatting and laughing as if nothing had happened.

“Little Cousin Xiaodeng, there’s something I’ve been wondering about. Why don’t you call me Brother Dongchen anymore?”

“Because it wouldn’t be very polite.” Gu Xiaodeng led out his small white pony. Standing with the horse, they both looked tiny. “Young Master Ge, don’t you like going home?”

Ge Dongchen was unmoved, merely smiling as he asked in return, “And what about you? This isn’t your home. You came here seeking refuge. When you grow up, will you return to your hometown on the Eastern Border?”

Gu Xiaodeng gripped the reins, spacing out for a moment amidst the pony’s breath. He wrinkled his nose at Ge Dongchen.

“Wouldn’t you like to know, humph.”

Saying so, he vaulted onto the horse and trotted into the riding field, releasing one hand to catch the wind.

Ge Dongchen watched with keen interest. From Gu Xiaodeng’s face, which couldn’t act to save its life, he saw the answer.

Time stretched ahead. There were many secrets to explore between them, and plenty of amusement to be had.

In the blink of an eye, it was year’s end. Gu Xiaodeng’s lessons didn’t stop until New Year’s Eve, and he woke up very early that morning. It was a grand festival, the new year imminent amidst heavy winter snow. He leaned against the window watching the snowy scenery outside. It was said that West Prosperity Garden was bustling with people jostling shoulder-to-shoulder. He naively looked forward to the New Year’s Eve reunion dinner, not giving up that expectation until the sky darkened. He rubbed his frozen hands together and went to warm them by the stove.

This time last year, his adoptive father had taken him and his Sworn Brother out to wander the streets for half the night. They had promised to see the old year out together, but he was still young after all; playing late into the night, he grew tired and dozed off. His adoptive father and his Sworn Brother took turns carrying him back to the inn. Their shoulders and backs had felt so stable and solid. He fell asleep amidst the clamor of the festival, and when he woke up, he received his New Year’s Money from his adoptive father.

Those days were gone. Gu Xiaodeng savored the sweetness of those memories to flavor the loneliness of the present. He sat alone at his small table and finished his New Year’s Eve dinner. Tonight, Feng’en offered him a small comfort, sending up all the dishes he wanted to eat, no longer monotonously sticking to a prescribed recipe.

Gu Xiaodeng loved seafood. He enthusiastically peeled shrimp and picked apart fish, and had also set two extra sets of bowls and chopsticks on either side of the small table. With every bite he took, he also placed a morsel of food into those bowls.

Just as he finished eating, a sharp tapping sound came from the window. Feng’en went to open it, and a huge, dark-bluish-green Gyrfalcon tucked its wings and hopped inside. In two or three leaps, it flew onto Gu Xiaodeng’s dining table. Its black bean-like eyes were piercing, and it stood with its chest puffed out and head held high.

Before Gu Xiaodeng could be frightened, he was overcome with surprised delight. “Blossom Ashes!”

Gu Jinyu hadn’t come himself, but he had sent his fierce, giant bird.

Gu Xiaodeng felt as if he were seeing a little friend. Overjoyed, he searched all over the table for meat. “Oh dear, have you had dinner yet? I’ve finished eating; how about I peel you a shrimp!”

Blossom Ashes raised its bird head with an air of great pride. Its two eagle claws both had small letter-tubes tied to them conspicuously. Elegantly, it lifted its big left claw first, shaking the tube attached.

“Did Tree Branch send you to deliver this to me?” Gu Xiaodeng was even happier. On a snowy, deep-winter night like this, when the entire mansion was frantically busy with the New Year, someone had still remembered him. That alone was a comfort.

He wiped his hands and retrieved the small tube from Blossom Ashes, fiddling with it as he laughed. “Did he write something, or did he draw a picture?”

When he unfolded the thin piece of letter paper, Gu Xiaodeng froze. Immediately, he shielded the paper and hurriedly rushed to his desk. Spreading the letter flat, he looked it over left and right. Only after a long while did he confirm it was a Home Letter from Zhang Dengqing.

He burst into tears with a loud “wa,” then hurriedly covered his eyes, afraid that tears would drip onto the letter paper and smudge the strokes of the Home Letter.

Feng’en walked over, and Blossom Ashes, with a sense of understanding, flew over as well. Gu Xiaodeng no longer feared the massive Gyrfalcon. He reached out and scooped Blossom Ashes into his arms, stroking the cold from its feathers while thanking it profusely.

Feng’en grew nervous. Seeing the Gyrfalcon remain calm, he was still worried. “Cousin Young Master, the Gyrfalcon is a famously fierce bird of prey. Please be careful.”

Gu Xiaodeng then released it, sniffling as he widened his eyes to read Zhang Dengqing’s Home Letter. But Blossom Ashes ducked its head and burrowed back into his embrace, its eagle claws resting loosely on his thigh, refusing to leave.

Feng’en couldn’t help but laugh. “I’ve never seen it act like this… Perhaps the Fourth Young Master trained it well.”

So Gu Xiaodeng held it again, reading the Home Letter through tear-blurred eyes.

The handwriting on the letter was so familiar. Seeing the words was like seeing the person, as if listening to him speak slowly in detail. The entire page was filled with Zhang Dengqing’s reassurances. He said the sudden departure from the Gu Family that day was no one’s fault. If anyone was to blame, it could only be that “Two,” a reference to that Second Prince, Gao Mingqian. Gu Xiaodeng felt the same way. If it weren’t for that wretched Second Prince’s wickedness, Zhang Dengqing wouldn’t have been implicated and punished.

Zhang Dengqing claimed he was now in an Outer State, under the Gu Family’s military jurisdiction. Amidst the chaos, he had adapted over these past few months and finally straightened out his daily life. He had wanted to send a letter earlier, but various inconveniences had prevented him. When the Gyrfalcon suddenly and quietly flew in today, it had given him quite a shock.

Every word was in his tone. Gu Xiaodeng read and cried. Though sad, he was still happy. After finishing, he immediately spread out paper to write a reply.

At that moment, Blossom Ashes popped its head up again, raising its big right claw to show there was another small letter-tube.

Gu Xiaodeng quickly retrieved it, hoping it was another Home Letter. But when he unfolded it, he saw it was written by Gu Jinyu, and his mouth pouted slightly.

Still, it was a happy matter. He rubbed his eyes and read carefully. The Letter was also a page filled with comforting words. Gu Xiaodeng felt relieved as he read, though he didn’t understand why the first line of the letter read: “To the Shanqing,” and the end was signed, “Senqing would like to add.” [T/N: Shanqing means ‘Mountain Green’ and Senqing means ‘Forest Green’, referencing their earlier conversation about Gu Jinyu being a forest.]

“That’s right, this is written to me. Is this our secret code?” Gu Xiaodeng read it several times, top to bottom, growing happier with each glance. “Then I’ll accept it.”

He lowered his head to write his Home Letter and his thank-you notes. The lamplight cast his shadow, slowly lengthening it, gently swaying away his tender, naive years.

The Gyrfalcon accepted the reply letter and a small return gift, then flew out the window and into the snowy night. From East Forest Garden to West Prosperity Garden, it was all within the territory of Zhenbei Prince Mansion. But night was deep, and a deep, resonant bell suddenly tolled nine times from the tall tower of the Imperial Palace. The crackling of firecrackers rose and fell throughout the city. Unbeknownst to the bird, it had flown through an entire year of the human world.

It was near deep night when Gu Jinyu returned to his own courtyard. Clad in the last vestiges of splendor, his face was full of cold exhaustion. He pushed open the door and entered his bedroom, and the Gyrfalcon flew over with practiced ease, landing on his shoulder and chattering noisily.

Gu Jinyu casually grabbed it down and cradled it in his arms. As he stroked the eagle’s neck, he felt something amiss. With two fingers, he plucked a red string from the thick eagle down. He pulled the string out and saw a copper coin threaded onto it.

Gu Jinyu frowned. Only after removing the Letter from the eagle’s talon and unfolding it to skim through did he suddenly find it laughable.

“New Year’s Money?”

He fiddled with the copper coin between his fingertips for a while. After a moment, he crooked his finger and flicked it. The coin fell to the floor with a clink. Then, he turned and burned the Letter Gu Xiaodeng had written to him.

“Little fool… you’re the only one who needs New Year’s money.”