Chapter 31 Part 2

The servant instantly felt solid ground under his feet. He let go of the heart that had been dangling for over a month. He quickly opened the pavilion door, only to see his master stop at the entrance. Facing the full force of the night breeze, his expression was blank and lonely as he quietly stared into space, his gaze fixed on the person by the window.

The servant’s heart leaped up again. He cautiously glanced at the person by the window, silently chanting over and over: turn around, turn around.

Luckily, Gu Shanqing turned around on his own. His face, disguised to be a swarthy, unremarkable one, creased into a smile that was still bright and beautiful. “Young Master Su, happy Birthday.”

Su Mingya’s expression softened instantly. He stepped gently into the room and responded warmly, “Why didn’t you wash your face?”

“I quite like this new fake face. How about you help me wash it? Let me bask in some of the birthday boy’s good luck.”

The pavilion door slowly closed. The servant let out a huge sigh of relief, feeling utterly at ease. In his moment of relaxation, he couldn’t help but think: this Gu Shanqing is really a master of manipulation.

Inside the Bright Candle Room, Su Mingya walked step by step to the window. His mind wandered aimlessly. Gu Xiaodeng had a quality that made the people around him seem brighter. He might be a beam of surging sunlight. He always touched one’s heartstrings so easily.

Su Mingya had been somewhat weary. But coming to his side, he too felt inexplicably cheerful.

High walls lock in the beauty. How he truly wanted to lock him up tight, tuck him in his sleeve, keep him in his lapels, hang him at his belt.

Gu Xiaodeng’s eyes were sparkling. He watched without blinking as Su Mingya walked toward him, cloaked in the bustling aura of the world and the light of the moon. Reflexively, he rubbed his nose. In the end, overwhelmed by the longing of their time apart, he gave a soft laugh and spoke to him. “Young Master Su, are you very tired? You should be resting at the Su home by now. You didn’t really need to come all the way here.”

Su Mingya shook his head. He took his hand and gently pulled him into his arms. “Not tired. It was very necessary.”

Gu Xiaodeng leaned against his shoulder. Suddenly, he wasn’t angry anymore. Only, his eyes stung a little. He reached out to hug him and nuzzled against him lightly. “Young Master Su, I actually missed you.”

Su Mingya gave a muffled sound of acknowledgment. He held him even tighter, pressing him into his embrace.

After a long time holding him, he heard a slightly unsteady laugh near his ear. “Why aren’t you saying anything? If you don’t speak, I’ll keep being angry.”

Su Mingya then released him and pinched his cheek. “If you’re angry, just scold me. I’ll wash your disguise off. Whatever Xiaodeng scolds, I’ll listen.”

Gu Xiaodeng sniffled. He tried to formulate the words for a long time but couldn’t squeeze out a single harsh sentence. He could only hold back tears that he himself found inexplicable. So he just let Su Mingya take a towel to wipe his face, waiting for him to speak first.

Su Mingya half-embraced him while wiping his face, like working on a painting. Tacitly, he took the initiative to speak. “Xiaodeng’s neck is very beautiful at the side. If there were a few moles here, perhaps it would be even more beautiful.”

Gu Xiaodeng immediately leaned toward his face. His fair, attractive fingers patted the side of his neck. “If Young Master Su likes it, of course, you can dot a few moles here for me. You’re so skilled with the brush and ink, you naturally know how to dot them to look good. If that’s not enough, why not just tattoo your name right here? Maybe that would look nice too.”

Su Mingya sensed that he was angry. Right now, he actually wanted Gu Xiaodeng to be angry. Satisfied, he pulled the person into his arms. Lowering his head, he placed a light kiss on the side of his neck. “No need. Xiaodeng is fine however he is. Why won’t you scold me yet?”

“In the next life. When that time comes, I’ll definitely give you a thorough scolding.”

Su Mingya held him tight, treating the words as a joke. He sank wholeheartedly into this haven of tenderness, as if returning after several lifetimes apart. His long-stifled heart finally felt at ease.

Gu Xiaodeng half-pushed him away and pulled out the small box from his arms. With a solemn face, he looked up at him. He pretended to be fierce, but his eyes were actually red. “Your birthday present. Seventeen pieces of candy. Eat them, quick!”

Su Mingya felt that if he were told to eat poison right now, he might agree to that too. “Alright. Xiaodeng, feed me.”

So Gu Xiaodeng silently opened the box, took out the red candies one by one, and carefully placed them between his lips and teeth. He was as focused as if completing some matter of vital importance.

“Doesn’t taste good, right?”

“It’s good… just a rather novel flavor.” Su Mingya swallowed them one by one.

“I made them.” After feeding the last one, Gu Xiaodeng’s taut nerves completely loosed. He collapsed as if exhausted and buried his head in Su Mingya’s chest. “Young Master Su, you’ve also protected me for several years. I only hope not to be in your debt.”

Su Mingya picked him up and sat him on his lap, rubbing along the bones of his spine one section at a time. “What silly things are you saying?”

Gu Xiaodeng was so tired he slumped. “I met that young man, Su Xiaoyuan. Ah, that is, your servant concubine, Eldest Young Master Su.”

A deep, muffled laugh came from Su Mingya’s chest. “There is no servant concubine.”

His voice grew soft again. “There will only be you. The Su family raised such a person also because he resembles you in a few small ways. There are no concubines. If you don’t like it, I will have them take Su Xiaoyuan away immediately. He will never appear before you.”

Gu Xiaodeng was so exasperated he didn’t know quite how to put it. “That’s really not necessary. I quite like him… Besides, without Xiaoyuan, there could still be a Xiaozhi, a Xiaoyang. What displeases your family is my existence. What major role could Xiaoyuan possibly play in this? You might as well say it’s because of me that he was forced to get involved. Bearing a slight resemblance to me is truly bad luck for him.”

Patting Su Mingya’s back, Gu Xiaodeng chattered softly. “Young Master Su is an exiled immortal, with the kindest of hearts. Just don’t take it out on a child like that. If possible, could you still shelter him a bit? He shouldn’t end up like I did back then, getting ambushed on the east side and punched and kicked on the west.”

He also knew it was inconvenient for Su Mingya to restrain Yue Xunzhi, but he couldn’t help mentioning it. “That Young Master Yue’s actions are getting more and more out of line. Young Master Su, can you think of a way to make him behave a bit?”

“No matter.” Su Mingya spoke carelessly. “The Spring Examination in the third month is imminent. He will go to take the exam. The entire Yue family is a pack of despicable scoundrels, and only he can barely present himself well enough to pass. They will naturally discipline and restrain him for their own sake.”

“That’s good then.” Gu Xiaodeng then asked, “What about you? You’re not going to take the spring exam?”

“No need,” Su Mingya answered. After finishing, his lip brushed lightly against Gu Xiaodeng’s forehead, rubbing back and forth. “Does Xiaodeng want to go?”

Gu Xiaodeng laughed. “The Gu family thinks my talents are dull and stupid, so there’s no need for me to take the exam. What does Young Master Su think? I’d like to hear your opinion.”

“Study a few more years. There’s no rush,” Su Mingya kissed down from his forehead, his lips gently rubbing against the bow of Gu Xiaodeng’s mouth. His voice was soft and gentle as he spoke. “You started your studies several years later than others. Just take a few more years of classes to catch up. When the time comes to sit for the exam, you don’t need to be at the top of the list. As long as your name is on it, I can find a way to arrange a position for you right by my side.”

Gu Xiaodeng’s eyes widened a little. He still just smiled. “How young would you even be by then, yet so capable already?”

Su Mingya took advantage of the moment he was speaking to kiss him. He chased his tongue, kissing him as if he couldn’t bear to part. In the end, he held him gently. Still, it didn’t feel like enough, but he restrained himself, unwilling to hug him with crushing, rough force. He was trying to curb himself, to prove he wasn’t just someone who abandoned all ambition for pleasure.

“Yes, I will become more and more capable, in every regard,” Su Mingya said, kissing the dimple on his cheek. After kissing for only a short while, he pressed Gu Xiaodeng down onto the table. Lately, he had often felt agitated. Whenever he felt that agitation, his thoughts easily turned to Gu Xiaodeng. Once he started thinking, many things would come to mind.

He wanted to push into Gu Xiaodeng’s body. He wanted it very much.

But back then, four years ago, just a stirring of his heart—just lowering his head to kiss Gu Xiaodeng—had caused him to become addicted, turning him into this pitiful state.

If he truly shared the intimacy of clouds and rain with Gu Xiaodeng, with Gu Xiaodeng’s current looks and figure being far superior to what they were back then, he was almost absolutely certain he would lose all ambition on him.

He feared that by then, his mind would be filled only with the thought of doing him every day. Just like that night when he lost control and kissed him, a wild, absurd thought had flashed through his mind for a moment. He had actually daydreamed, hoping Gu Xiaodeng was a woman. If that were the case, doing it often would make him pregnant with his child, and then his family couldn’t help but take him seriously.

It was simply absurd, shameful, and so vulgar that he didn’t even recognize himself.

He couldn’t lose control like this any further. He absolutely couldn’t take that one step from which there would be no retreat. At the very least, he couldn’t be so unrestrained when his foundation was still unstable.

Moreover, there was one point he had never overlooked. Gu Xiaodeng was a tribute being prepared by the Gu family. Having frequented the Imperial Palace since childhood, how could he not know that the Second Prince, Gao Mingqian, liked those who wore double earholes?

He had known it four years ago. But back then, he hadn’t cared.

Now he was starting to care. Either he hid Gu Xiaodeng to prevent the Gu family from offering him up, or he had to strengthen himself as quickly and as much as possible, gathering more power of speech so that one day he would have the standing to negotiate with the Second Prince. The latter was more likely to happen. If the Su family still catered to him like before, he could perhaps persuade his family to help him protect Gu Xiaodeng. But clearly, they detested Gu Xiaodeng. They merely refrained from treating him harshly because of their relationship with the Gu family.

He didn’t want to give Gu Xiaodeng up. So he simply had to work hard.

The restraint was somewhat hard to endure. Su Mingya could only lower his head and kiss Gu Xiaodeng with growing thirst.

Thankfully, Gu Xiaodeng—whether out of ignorance, or fear, or a sense of propriety—had never tried to seduce him by spreading his legs in this matter. If he initiated it, it probably wouldn’t take many times before Su Mingya wouldn’t be able to hold back, and would take him to the bed.

Young men are full of hot blood. If he had never come close to this ultimate delicacy, it would be another matter. But he had held this increasingly exquisite, beautiful person in his arms and endured for a full four years. It was truly an extraordinary feat of self-control.

Enduring day by day, he was both captivated by Gu Xiaodeng’s beauty and couldn’t help but fault him for it.

He just stuck to his side in this silly, dazed manner, constantly, unconsciously teasing him.

If this wasn’t sheer self-inflicted torment, what was?

When Gu Xiaodeng was pressed up against the window pane, a black shadow silently streaked across the night sky. The gyrfalcon swept back and forth several times before gliding down to the ground. It halted, resting its talons on the shoulder of its master, who stood cloaked in darkness.

Gu Jinyu stood in the shadows, looking up. He watched the towering Star-Picking Tower expressionlessly. He kept watching until Zhu Liu, from the palace, released a white pigeon, summoning him to return to the Imperial Palace.

He kept thinking: wait a little longer, just wait a little longer. Next year at the latest, the dynasty would change. He would stand above ten thousand men. Power would give him freedom and strength. He would rise above the Su family. As the Su family looked down on Gu Xiaodeng today, they would one day, with great trepidation and fear, hold him high and return him.

It was a pity that, afterward, it was still a little too late.