The next day, the second month of the new year, spring classes resumed. Gu Xiaodeng took his books and headed to the Academy early in the morning. Though his heart was far less expectant than before, there was still a trace of eagerness.
He rushed over early, guessing he might run into an acquaintance. Sure enough, when he arrived, a teenage boy was already standing stiffly by the second seat from the right in the first row, together with his bookboy, looking somewhat lost.
Without waiting for the boy to react, Gu Xiaodeng took the initiative to approach and call out, “Shouyi.”
The Gu family’s fifth son, Gu Shouyi, five years his junior, immediately turned around. At the sight of him, he frowned. “Why is it you?”
“It’s me, it’s me.” Gu Xiaodeng joked, “Here to welcome the Fifth Young Master.”
Gu Shouyi’s face instantly took on the expression of having swallowed a fly. He hated Gu Xiaodeng just as much as he had five years ago, or perhaps even more now.
Seeing he was still the same, Gu Xiaodeng smiled and didn’t exchange more words. He took his small notebook from his bookboy and handed it over. “Wishing Fifth Young Master Gu a happy first day at the Academy. This is a record I’ve kept over the past few years of the teachers’ teaching habits. It may not be much help, but you can take it to pad your writing supplies or something.”
With that, he returned to his seat in the very last row. He figured this small bit of help was all he could offer.
Over the past few years, he hadn’t visited West Prosperity Garden often, and his chances to see his blood relatives from the Gu family were few. That initial fervent desire to form good relationships with his family, to be one harmonious group, had gradually faded. Occasionally a new sprout would emerge, only to be plucked off once it grew a little stronger.
Gu Xiaodeng didn’t know what he had done wrong, nor did he know what he could do to make things right. So he often deceived himself with a bit of amusement and distraction. The longing to integrate into the family still existed, but it was no longer so intense.
At times like these, Gu Xiaodeng would especially miss his sworn brother. With Zhang Dengqing not around, he would think of Gu Jinyu. Gu Jinyu was often nowhere to be seen, so he’d then think of Su Mingya and several other acquaintances he associated with.
Back in the last row, Gu Xiaodeng opened his new book, turned his head to the window, and gazed at the newly risen sun. Eyes curved in a smile, he began to imagine his new year’s life.
One more year of study this year: writing furiously in spring, speeding through books in summer, tearing through scrolls in fall, and leaving the city in winter.
Once winter’s end and the year’s close passed the following year, he could aim for a moment and find any way possible to quietly leave the Gu family. If for nothing else, then to at least see his sworn brother. He missed Zhang Dengqing far too much.
Perhaps those vendettas Zhang Dengqing worried about in their youth had already forgotten them completely, no longer wasting time tracking them down—or even if they were still being tracked, the two of them had grown up. They likely had some ability to protect themselves now, right?
He didn’t know what plans his sworn brother had for the future. If Zhang Dengqing wanted to continue serving in the military, Gu Xiaodeng wanted to go as an army medic, contributing to the cause while also keeping him company. If Zhang Dengqing wanted to retire from service, then the two brothers could team up once more—as traveling merchants, wandering healers, or roaming knights-errant.
Gu Xiaodeng had attachments in Changluo, but Changluo was still an unfamiliar world. He could drop by now and then to visit friends and family, but staying long-term was probably out of the question.
All those beautiful people he was attached to in Changluo, men and women alike, each had their own thoughts and pursuits. They were important friends to Gu Xiaodeng, but in their lives, Gu Xiaodeng was just an insignificant speck of dust.
Just as Gu Jinyu belonged to the Gu family and Su Mingya belonged to the Su family, he had no family to belong to. The Gu family had raised him, but he didn’t know what for exactly. He hoped they harbored a bit of familial affection and had just casually tossed him here to raise.
Changluo was so vast, yet Gu Xiaodeng stood as an outsider. Those who belonged to his household were few and far between. Not only was there no one to spend a lifetime with, there wasn’t even someone to spend just a few years with.
When it was time for him to leave, he figured no one would feel much reluctance.
Maybe when he left, most people here would even feel happy about it.
The sunrise shone brilliantly in all directions. Gradually, distinct footsteps and the sounds of chatting and laughter approached. Gu Xiaodeng watched from the window as his classmates returned for the new year’s first class. Su Mingya was temporarily absent, so the remaining twenty-two young masters filed in one after another with their bookboys.
Most didn’t give him a straight look. People like Ge Dongchen and Guan Yunji wouldn’t come up to chat with him in public either. A few shot him faintly lewd glances. In the end, only Su Xiaoyuan, seated next to him, came running over with a brilliant smile, waving.
“Brother Shanqing!” Su Xiaoyuan seemed to wish he could drag his own desk over to sit side by side.
Gu Xiaodeng’s heart brightened again. He smiled and exchanged a few whispered words. The spring breeze in the second month slipped through time like a pair of scissors.
When the peach blossoms bloomed in the third month, the year’s first Spring Examination in Changluo concluded successfully. Su Mingya still hadn’t returned to the Bamboo Courtyard. Calm and solitary, Gu Xiaodeng raised Xiao Pei until the little pup had grown a size. Every day, aside from his internal and external coursework, he played with the dog.
Gu Jinyu, whom he hadn’t seen a single strand of hair from in over a month, suddenly rushed to the Student Courtyard late one night. By the time he arrived, Gu Xiaodeng was already asleep.
Gu Xiaodeng was startled awake by Xiao Pei’s little whimpers. Rubbing his drowsy eyes open, he saw a tall back crouching in front of the small dog bed, a large hand covering Xiao Pei. Moonlight blanketed the figure entirely. Still short, the tips of his hair floated in the air, seeming to have been stained with blood—dried clotted strands now.
Gu Xiaodeng sniffled, instantly fully awake. He scrambled up and called out, “Gu Senqing… I smell a faint scent of blood. Are you injured?”
Gu Jinyu’s body trembled. He quickly turned his head to look at him, his voice somewhat hoarse. “I’m sorry, did I wake you?”
“Not at all. Xiao Pei’s stomach has been a bit unsettled lately. A while back he kept having diarrhea in the middle of the night, so I’ve been sleeping more lightly.” Gu Xiaodeng replied while draping on his clothes.
The inner room’s window was wide open. That rascal Gu Jinyu—this time he had clearly climbed in through the window. It would hardly be an exaggeration to call him a thief.
Gu Xiaodeng didn’t quibble with him over that. He lit the lamp on the table, then crouched down beside him, reaching out a fingertip to poke his skull. “So, are you injured? My nose is sharp.”
Gu Jinyu apologized again. “I’m sorry, I didn’t have time to change into clean clothes. I’m not hurt. The smell is someone else’s.”
Gu Xiaodeng sucked in a small breath, using lamplight and moonlight to examine Gu Jinyu’s impassive face. In the dead of night, that one sentence made his blood run cold. “Is it that dangerous?”
Gu Jinyu shook his head, said it was nothing. His dark, bright eyes fixed on Gu Xiaodeng. “Xiaodeng, I’ll be leaving on a long journey shortly. The quickest I’ll be back is half a year. I’m sorry. I originally only meant to come back and leave you a note. I never expected to wake you after all.”
The note could have been left by Blossom Ashes. He just wanted to come back and see him a couple more times.
Gu Xiaodeng was momentarily stunned. “Shortly? You can’t even stay overnight at home? This is the longest trip you’ve ever taken. Where are you going?”
“Where I’m going isn’t the most important thing. What matters is that I’m being transferred out of Changluo.” Gu Jinyu reached up and stroked Gu Xiaodeng’s hair. “I can only explain that the cause is the rivalry between the two imperial heir factions in the Imperial Court. His Majesty the Emperor wants to balance the Crown Princess and the Second Prince. The Eastern Palace’s faction is too strong, so he wants to weaken me first. That’s why I’m temporarily being sent away from the central government. But you don’t need to worry. This is also within the Eastern Palace’s plans. I originally had to go out to investigate some matters of critical importance; it’s just been moved up earlier.”
Gu Xiaodeng’s heartstrings tightened. He grabbed his loose, hanging hair and stood up. “It sounds very perilous. Wait a moment. Since you’ll be gone so long, I’m a little scared. I’ll go find some things you can use.”
Gu Jinyu rose to follow but was stopped by a sharp command. “Check on Xiao Pei! Don’t follow me!”
Gu Jinyu could only obediently squat back down, somewhat dazedly watching the black-and-white dog that had grown a size. Xiao Pei wagged its tail madly at him too, licking his palm with fervent heat—simple and blazing, brimming with vitality as if forever unafraid of being let down.
A moment later, Gu Xiaodeng came over lugging a sizeable, exquisite cloth bag. It was as wide as Gu Jinyu’s open arms, stuffed full of little bottles and jars.
After that hurried trip, Gu Xiaodeng’s sleeves were bound tight, his complexion a few shades paler. Hair disheveled, he crouched in front of Gu Jinyu and opened the bag to show him. “Um, Senqing, the little things inside are some pills, ointments, and medicinal liquids I’ve concocted over the years. Though they may look unreliable, like some local specialty, trust me—they’re truly useful.”
Gu Xiaodeng swallowed, too awkward to explain properly. “If you get injured or poisoned out there, these will ensure recovery. Really. You know, I’ve been spending a lot of time with Young Master Su these past few years. He has many top-quality medicinal ingredients, and I often get plenty of excellent scraps. Anyway, trust me… take all of these with you. I hope you won’t get bruised or bumped, but I figured in case someone around you gets hurt, these could come in handy. Out traveling, you can never have too many coins or too much medicine, right?”
He tied the bag shut and stuffed it into Gu Jinyu’s arms, still feeling deeply regretful. “You’re leaving so hastily. If I had a few days, I could make those medicines even finer.”
Gu Jinyu tucked the item into his robes. Even a dried-out shoe sole would have been a priceless treasure at that moment. He clutched the cloth bag, still warm from Gu Xiaodeng’s body heat, his heart softening to mush. Saying thanks felt distant, not saying it felt insincere. His brain short-circuited, and he answered clumsily, “Thank you, our Xiaodeng. I’ll definitely use them.”
Gu Xiaodeng didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. “Don’t curse yourself, bro!”
Gu Jinyu lowered his head and chuckled softly, pursing his lips. “I wasn’t able to come back to see you last month. Did Su Mingya mention arranging anything for you?”
At the mention of that name, he turned gloomy again. According to the original plan, he wasn’t supposed to leave Changluo until late in the fifth month at the earliest. Now it had been moved up over a month, nearly entirely due to the Su family throwing obstacles in the way.
Otherwise, he could have celebrated one more birthday with Gu Xiaodeng and shared a bowl of longevity noodles together.
“Young Master Su? I haven’t seen him lately either. Why do you ask?” Gu Xiaodeng was a little puzzled. His fingertips pressed against the slightly cold floor as he told the truth. “Last time I met him, he did promise me one thing—to take me out of the city during this year’s Winter Hunt on an excursion to Baiyong Mountain.”
Gu Jinyu’s mood instantly dropped. “Winter Hunt…”
“What’s wrong?”
“Don’t go.”
Gu Jinyu’s eyes were dark and frightening, making Gu Xiaodeng’s heart pound. “Is there a problem?”
Gu Jinyu stared at him for a moment, then leaned closer and covered Gu Xiaodeng’s mouth with his hand. He was so near that without his hand, it would have practically been a kiss.
Gu Xiaodeng heard his low voice:
“Xiaodeng, you’re not drunk now. I’ll ask you the same question from four years ago again.”
“Are you with Su Mingya, or are you with me?”
